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Posted at 8:20 AM ET, 03/24/2009

David Letterman Marries; Octo-Mom Fires Nannies

By Liz Kelly
Tuesday

Headlines: David Letterman marries longtime girlfriend... Octo-mom Nadya Suleman fires free nurses... Heather Mills signs $6 million deal with Burger King... Ashton Kutcher Twitters marriage advice... Zac Efron drops out of "Footloose" remake... Robin Williams recovering after heart surgery... Anne Hathaway to play Judy Garland... Alyssa Milano details her love of baseball players in upcoming book... Mariska Hargitay returns to "SVU" set... Lance Armstrong hospitalized with broken collarbone... Matt Lauer injures shoulder in bicycle accident with deer... Danny Bonaduce engaged to 26-year-old girlfriend.

Pix & Vid: LeAnn Rimes and husband kiss for the cameras... Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson in American Gothic update.

Speaking of Lilo, she's the new face of Italy's Fornarina clothing line:

Rumor Mill: Did Jennifer Aniston dump John Mayer because of his Twitter obsession?... Katy Perry dating Josh Groban?... Another Lindsay Lohan hanger-on in another fender bender... Fergie to give private White House concert?

By Liz Kelly  | March 24, 2009; 8:20 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

OH, what a beau-ti-ful mooooooor-ning . . .

Mornin' all.

Your early bird and worm,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | March 24, 2009 8:30 AM | Report abuse

"Octo-mom Nadya Suleman fires free nurses..."

I am sooo tired of this train wreck. Please shine your spotlight elsewhere.

"Anne Hathaway to play Judy Garland..."
Dunno if anyone can top Judy Davis in this role.

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 24, 2009 8:41 AM | Report abuse

So it appears that vegan activist and PETA supporter Heather Mills' price is $6 million. Sir Paul, you got ripped off.

What Jezebel said about Ms. Suleman.

Posted by: northgs | March 24, 2009 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Heather Mills is delighted with the BK deal because it means she'll be able to wear her divorce pantsuit again and it won't look a bit out of place next to the Burger King in his full regalia.


"No human being who has ever lived in this world has ever taken good advice." - Kinky Friedman, apparently NOT talking about Ashton's tweets.


If the producers can't recast Zac Efron's "Footloose" role, will they finally put Baby in the ^#!$#$*#!^%$@ corner?


Alyssa Milano details her love of baseball players in upcoming book... and the players all remember how easy it was to get to third base with her.


That LiLo Fornarina ad looks like it was produced in 1982 by my high school's A/V club.


Jen, John was only spending all that time on Twitter hoping for some good advice from Ashton.


"Another Lindsay Lohan hanger-on in another fender bender." Maybe she's starting her own Demolition Derby circuit.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2009 9:28 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, wasn't "Baby in the corner" from "Dirty Dancing," or do I need more caffeine this morning?

Glad to hear Mariska's doing better.

Not mentioned here, but did anyone else notice on the news last night how classily the Redgrave/Richardson/Neeson clan appeared to conduct themselves outside Natasha's funeral? Even posed for a formal family portrait, which seemed to placate the paps.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Top Ten Reasons Dave Didn't Get Married Until Now.


10: As he said earlier in the show, wanted to get the pre-nup "just right."

9: Gave up waiting for Julia Roberts to become single.

8: Couldn't afford the $90 for the marriage license.

7: Dave's mother didn't approve.

6: Had vowed not to get married until same-sex marriage was legal in Norway.

5: Only way he could stop son Harry from referring to himself as "the little b*st*rd."

4: Wanted to make sure his career was firmly established before committing.

3: Held out until worth of stock market investments halved to make sure she wasn't just in it for the money.

2: UPS lost the ring.

1: Only thought to ask two weeks ago.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2009 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Well played, byoolin!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 10:07 AM | Report abuse

yes, nosy, i noticed that as well about the redgrave/neeson response. in a time of great sorrow and anguish, which could be seen on their faces, they handled the situation w/dignity and class. did you see the photograph of neeson w/vanessa redgrave, w/a dark sky. the looks on their faces are almost indescribable. and award winning photo. saw it on huffington.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 10:12 AM | Report abuse

p.s. octumom or whatever she's called is a complete wackjob. dare i ask where she's getting the money to pay for full-time nursing? that is a huge cost.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 10:13 AM | Report abuse


Did you know that Alyssa Milano once dated Kirk Cameron at the age 15 ?

They must good friends today. They could be still around here nearby DC.

How about an autograph ?

Was that at work only ?

Posted by: marcy20046 | March 24, 2009 10:20 AM | Report abuse

Frieda, here are further details re "Octuplets' Mom Fires Nannies, Blames Gloria Allred":
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20267439,00.html

Octomom brooks no differing opinions as to her mothering policies.

BTW, does anyone else besides me wonder how soon it'll be before she announces her next pregnancy?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/22/natasha-richardsons-funer_n_177865.html
****
here, i hope, is the link to those stunning photographs....

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Thanks, Frieda. Those haunting photos you mentioned of Liam and Vanessa are at the 18th and 19th (last two) buttons.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 10:30 AM | Report abuse

As a recovering vegetarian (it's been 30 years, one day at a time, I was saved by bacon) and full-bore carnivore, even I am offended by Burger King and the foul stench that spews forth from their vents, not to mention the unspeakable conditions of the animals in their suppliers' Confined Animal Feeding Operations. I ate at McDonald's in 1968 and never went back. But taking BK's blood money to promote vegetarianism? A bit much.

Posted by: kabuki3 | March 24, 2009 10:34 AM | Report abuse

You say American Gothic. I say....

Greeeeen Acres is the life for me!
SaMANtha is the wife for me!
Fans texting me from far and wide
Screw LA, we'll settle in Riverside.

And while I'm on the subject...

Dave's gettin' married in the morning
Oh how he hopes the sun will shine!
The truck's stuck. Oh bummer!
Now he needs a Hummer to
get him to the church on time.

And finally...

The night's too bitter,
to type on Twitter;
The paparazzi
just swarm around like Nazis-
Because of the Italian who got away...


Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Oh.
frieda, those photos are beautiful- just capture all the numbness and grief we all feel when we lose someone close to us. (Like Queen Liz says, "Celebrities, they're just like us".) I'm so sorry for the whole family and their loss.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | March 24, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

I'm on a roll...

Hold the pickles
Hold the lettuce
Vegetarians upset us
Heather Mills will help to let us
Have it our way...

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

byoo and mdreader, truly inspired.

A while back, someone suggested a reality TV show for Octomom...in which eight loving and responsible couples were found for each of the octuplets. Can we revisit that idea?

And Last: Should LiLo ever get a Twitter account, I forsee one of two things happening:

1. Liz is guaranteed employment for all eternity; Celebritologists roll gleefully in the constant supply of fresh material

2. Armageddon

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | March 24, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

*Nice to see Lindsay Lohan focusing on her acting career again.

*Alyssa Milano = classic baseball Annie, and not in a smart, Annie-Savoy-in-Bull-Durham kind of way.

*Someone, anyone, please make Nadya Suleman go away.

Posted by: pras40 | March 24, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Oooh, great job mdreader! I want to try:

Come'on world, this is no time for
sobbin'
Come on get Happy!
Can't have Danny but there's plenty
o' cradles for robbin'
Come on get Happy!

Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

I guess if Anne Hathaway can play Richard Nixon, she should have no trouble playing Judy Garland.

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 24, 2009 11:13 AM | Report abuse

I'm still shell-shocked from the link on the front page which I read as, 'David Letterman maries Octomom'.

I nominate mdreader01 as the Island's official jingle/theme song writer. Now if someone could help me clean off my keyboard...

Posted by: jes11 | March 24, 2009 11:13 AM | Report abuse

*Alyssa Milano = classic baseball Annie, and not in a smart, Annie-Savoy-in-Bull-Durham kind of way.

Posted by: pras40 | March 24, 2009 10:51 AM

I'll admit I didn't click the link, but could Alyssa have done worse in the baseball player dating department than Madonna (Jose Conseco & A-Rod)?

Posted by: jes11 | March 24, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I'll admit I didn't click the link, but could Alyssa have done worse in the baseball player dating department than Madonna (Jose Conseco & A-Rod)?

Posted by: jes11 | March 24, 2009 11:17 AM

Yes, Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson, not that I'm saying she did date them, but it would definitely be worse! :) I'm looking forward to reading her book, but I'm a baseball-loving chick like her. I really like her Touch clothing line, but the clothes are all made for barbie doll sized ladies, of which I am not one.

The post had that Neeson/Redgrave shot in its Day in Photos yesterday, but from a longer distance. It is a gorgeous photo and I'm mesmerized by it, but I feel bad for looking at it. It's like I'm encroaching on their own private mourning. But I. Can't. Look. Away.

Looks like Nadia threw the nannies out because one filed a report on her with Child Protective Services. Worthwhile reason for getting fired, I must say.

Posted by: eet7e | March 24, 2009 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Cool, Hodie. I forgot about the 'duce.


I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a bad dream
I wake up from dreaming
Bonaduce got engaged
My fear can't be assuaged, I find the paper turn the page
The girl is half his age and now I stand here quite enraged

Dan's getting married.
(He's getting married.)

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 11:40 AM | Report abuse

I bow to thee, mdreader. Your songs are way better! I'll stick to my Island day job.

Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2009 11:44 AM | Report abuse

But wait...there's more

He types into Twitter all day long
Even Ashton Kutcher would say that it's wrong.
And now that Jennifer has read all his tweets
she's tossed his Louis Vitton out to the street

Jilted Johnny.
Jilted Johnny.
Oh Jilted Johnny are you really gonna tweet all day?

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

WHAT the FARK was LiLo thinking?? That commercial is butt horrible!! Holy heck!

Posted by: sigmagrrl | March 24, 2009 12:25 PM | Report abuse

eet7e makes a very good point--if the nannies got fired because they filed a report with CPS, good on them. I read somewhere that she accused them of "spying" on her--clearly paranoia is setting in as well. Her mental state aside, since it is physically impossible to care for so many small children and babies on one's own, especially when busy making appearances, perhaps it's one step closer to removal of some or all of the kids. Which I fervently hope for, both for the sake of the babies and because it will finally put this story in the dead letter box and return her to oblivion status where she started and belongs.

RIP Tash. So sad.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | March 24, 2009 1:24 PM | Report abuse

"LeAnn Rimes and husband kiss for the cameras..."

How Lisa Marie of you!

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 1:25 PM | Report abuse

The post had that Neeson/Redgrave shot in its Day in Photos yesterday, but from a longer distance. It is a gorgeous photo and I'm mesmerized by it, but I feel bad for looking at it. It's like I'm encroaching on their own private mourning. But I. Can't. Look. Away.

****
it is a brilliant photograph. bawlmer used the word "haunting" and that sums it up. captures it all. the decisive moment. don't feel bad for looking at it. it draws you in with its emotion. the sign of a great photograph.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Me thinks the Lindsay commercial is what the kids today call retro. Sad to say but the 1980s to teens today is what we used to think of the 1950s.

Posted by: buffysummers | March 24, 2009 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Virtuoso performances today by Byoolin and Mdreader!!!! MDreader, you don't happen to write lyrics for the Capitol Steps, do you?

I've noticed the level of female Lizard interest in Clive Owen today and in Hugh Jackman yesterday. It has me wondering. And it leads to the following Weingarten-esque question: Does your real-life partner look anything like your celebrity fantasy person? Perhaps Liz could so a poll later this week.

For the record, I look nothing like Denzel Washington. Why Ms. Snatchquatch stays with me, Lord knows.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 24, 2009 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Interesting question, Sas. No, my real life partner does not look like my various fantasy celebs, but they all have one thing in common--they're all distinctively handsome. Mr. Hermespal is of lithuanian descent, with the distinctive cheekbones that come with eastern european genes--great looking guy but nothing like Jackman, Owen, Depp and Tennant (my top four, who in turn look not much alike except for not being blonde ;-).

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | March 24, 2009 3:35 PM | Report abuse

Does your real-life partner look anything like your celebrity fantasy person?
***
not even remotely close. altho' the lifer sounds like ricky ricardo.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Mr. P resembles one guy on my kitchen list, though not particularly any of the others, since I'm an equal-opportunity luster.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 3:53 PM | Report abuse

When I find a long term co-conspirator, sas, I will be able to answer that question for you. But I would say that my brain reads from the same checklist whether the guy in question is in Celebritology or sitting across the table.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | March 24, 2009 5:00 PM | Report abuse

I'm with Nosy, although my lifer has a definitely type preference, of which I'm a perfect fit.

Thank goodness or I'd still be single.

No, I don't write for the Capitol Steps.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 5:04 PM | Report abuse

No, I don't write for the Capitol Steps.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2009 5:04 PM

------------------------------------------
I think you should submit some topical freelance lyrics to the Steps and see what they say. I very much like the song parodies you wrote today.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 24, 2009 5:27 PM | Report abuse

not even remotely close. altho' the lifer sounds like ricky ricardo.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 3:38 PM
------------------------------------------
So you got some 'splainin' to do?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 24, 2009 5:28 PM | Report abuse

I second Sas re mdreader and the Capitol Steps. Maybe Queen Liz could grease the skids for you?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2009 5:35 PM | Report abuse

yes, indeedy, every day.

Posted by: frieda406 | March 24, 2009 8:19 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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