For Cosmo's 'Fun, Fearless Males,' Career Stagnation Awaits
Last night, the diabolical minds over at Cosmopolitan magazine handed out this year's "Fun Fearless Male" awards. When you successfully stifle down the bile you'll be heartened to hear that Cosmo -- the mag that brings us indispensible relationship advice (Sex position of the week: "Sensual Spoon.") -- recognizes a handful of celebrated men each year who they deem to be, umm, fun and fearless.
This year's honorees include actors Aaron Eckhart, Mario Lopez, Blair Underwood, Chace Crawford, Bradley Cooper, Rainn Wilson, producer Timbaland and Maroon 5's Adam Levine.
But this year's winners may want to consider the cautionary tales of the honorees of yesteryear -- whose fun, fearless personalities led to career stagnation and other undesirable outcomes:
You may remember Chris Brown as the guy who allegedly beat up girlfriend Rihanna after a pre-Grammy party last month. But a year ago Brown was honored for his ability to turn out chart-friendly albums and box office friendly movies. Said the honoree: "I'm looking for a girl who can deal with how energetic I am. Also, it might be nice if she could dance with me."
The bottom was already falling out for Dane Cook when Cosmo included the comedian/actor in the 2007 honors. A rumored romance with Jessica Simpson had ended and a pair of box office duds -- "Employee of the Month" and "Good Luck Chuck" -- scuttled his attempt at becoming a solid rom-com leading man. In April 2008, Cook picked up another superlative: Unfunniest Comic. Ouch. (And don't forget Cook's inclusion in the official Celebritology glossary.)
2006 co-honorees included one-time Jessica Simpson spouse Nick Lachey (who was last seen at Houston radio station KRBE's Jingle Jam 2008.), but Terrence Howard really deserves notice for what he claimed was his most fearless act ever: "Stepping out of the womb and saying, 'I can handle this' was pretty fearless. Out of half a billion sperm, I got to that egg, hijacked my mother's body and greeted the world."
Although Howard was widely acclaimed for his performance in 2005's "Hustle and Flow," his momentum has stagnated of late -- especially after he fearlessly negotiated himself out of the upcoming "Iron Man" sequel. Earlier this month, documents surfaced detailing Howard's 2001 arrested for allegedly assaulting his estranged wife.
In 2004 "Friends" star Matthew Perry was described as "the epitome of a hot Cosmo male." It made sense when he was riding the crest of "Friends" last season mania. But five years and one failed NBC show later, Perry appears to be mired in career purgatory.
Look out Rainn Wilson -- mediocrity is coming for you.
| March 3, 2009; 10:57 AM ET
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