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Posted at 8:20 AM ET, 03/10/2009

Octo-Mom Gets Childcare; Rihanna and Chris Brown Recording Duet?

By Liz Kelly
Tuesday

Headlines: Octo-mom accepts round-the-clock care for her 14 kids... Oprah plans Thursday domestic violence-themed show... Halle Berry named "Sexiest Black Woman Alive"... President Obama pays tribute to Christopher Reeve when lifting stem cell research ban... Michael J. Fox thrilled with stem cell decision, signs on for ABC special... Birthday girl Paris Hilton gets a new dog from new boyfriend... Woman arrested for brandishing hammer over cancer-stricken Jade Goody's hospital bed... Miley Cyrus has mild heart condition... Mariska Hargitay to miss several weeks of "SVU" taping... British tabloid apologizes for claiming Isla Fisher had plastic surgery... Mischa Barton blogs about breakup... Ex-husband gets $515,000 cash settlement in Anne Heche divorce.

Pix: Angelina Jolie on "Salt" set (more pix)... Britney Spears sports Daisy Dukes.

Crime Watch: "Real Housewives'" Kelly Killoren Bensimon arrested for alleged assault.

Rumor Mill: Chris Brown and Rihanna working on duet?... Three of Britney Spears's back up dancers fired for suspected drug use... TomKat planning cross-country camping trip... Hayden Panettiere snaps at reporters in press line... Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson spending quality time together?

Say What?
"Everything inside of me is made of sugar and flour and a little red wine -- a lot of red wine." -- Reese Witherspoon, who I'd always assumed was made of pork rinds and seltzer.

Good Read
With her role as "Little Edie" in "Grey Gardens" and her directorial debut, Drew Barrymore moves into uncharted territory. (W, April 2009)

By Liz Kelly  | March 10, 2009; 8:20 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Reality Check: 'Dancing With the Stars'

Comments

"Oprah plans Thursday domestic violence-themed show," or, as the ratings people will say, "You just can't beat Oprah."


Bright side: at least "Real Housewives'" Kelly Killoren Bensimon's agent now has a retort when she complains that she can't even get arrested in this town.


Chris Brown and Rihanna working on duet? A cover of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time"? "Cruel To Be Kind"? "Cuts Like A Knife"? "Jealous Guy"? "We Got The Beat"? "Ain't That A Kick In The Head"?


That 'Say What' sounded like Reese Witherspoon going karaoke on Sheena Easton's '80s-era hit single "Sugar Walls."

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 10, 2009 8:41 AM | Report abuse

Ew, byoolin, now I'm thinking about Reese Witherspoon in a bad way. (Good one about Chris and Rihanna, though.)

Note to Reese: Try describing yourself next time BEFORE the red wine.

Miley! It's called heartbreak, not a "mild heart condition." There'll be other boys who love girls who love a good Asian impression.

Congrats, Halle. Did I miss who was named "Sexiest White Woman Alive"?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | March 10, 2009 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Chris and Rihanna duet: Will they cover "Beat It?"

Posted by: biffgriff | March 10, 2009 9:19 AM | Report abuse

td, you can bet it is not Reese Witherspoon. Sounds like I'll need to do some red wine myself to have a shot.

Just what Paris Hilton needs. Another dog. Wonder what the ASPCA has to say about that.

Halle has got to be up there in any list of sexy women of any persuasion. We need a contest to determine this. I suggest a judging panel of td, byoolin, sas, and myself. It would have to be live, of course.

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 10, 2009 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Love the 'on edit' comment in the Spears story. Now there's a writer with celebritology snark...

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | March 10, 2009 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Yeah reddragon, I was concerned too. Didn't Paris already lose a couple of pooches? Did anyone look in her purse?

Miley Cyrus claims to have tachycardia. My recommendation, lay off the Red Bull and stay away from 20 yr old boyfriends for now.

Reese's recipe would make her sweet, pink, and pasty. Yeah, that's about right.

Hayden obviously is missing that little filter most of us have that prevent us from saying what we really think out loud. Grow-up Hayden, this is your job now.

Posted by: hodie | March 10, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

What I want to know is, if Miley Cyrus is constantly thinking about her heart, when does that leave her time to think about her BFF, the grilled cheese sandwich?

What I also want to know is why Miley Cyrus won't go away. Really, out, out damned spot!

Posted by: ASinMoCo | March 10, 2009 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Chris and Rihanna duet: Every Breath You Take?

Posted by: northgs | March 10, 2009 10:37 AM | Report abuse

Rihanna should be recording solos. Listen to Oprah, girlfriend! Dump the loser!

Re TomKat camping trip: when most people go camping with family, they don't bring along a handler from church, nor do they bring a security team to keep other campers away. That's just weird.

Also, Katie bakes cupcakes? Doubtful. She looks like she hasn't eaten baked goods in years.

Posted by: newengland1 | March 10, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Other possible Chris/Rihanna covers:

Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Love is a Battlefield
Love Hurts
Mama Said Knock You Out

Posted by: spartan123 | March 10, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

How cute! TomKat is hiring a whole team of people to give them an "authentic" camping experience. So, my question is, how authentic can it possibly be?
In all the times I've been camping, pasta carbonara was never on the menu. Cheeseburgers on the grill is more like it.

Posted by: JLRGG | March 10, 2009 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Ex-husband gets $515,000 cash settlement in Anne Heche divorce.

-And somewhere, Nadya Suleman is hoping Anne goes lesbian again.

Michael J. Fox thrilled with stem cell decision, signs on for ABC special...

-While I was hoping for "Celebrity Stem Cells," it's just going to be a dumb show about "optimism."

[Saving the tasteless for last...]

Woman arrested for brandishing hammer over cancer-stricken Jade Goody's hospital bed.

-Could you imagine the cry for help? "Help! I'm calling from the terminal patient ward and some strange woman is trying to kill me!"

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 10, 2009 11:38 AM | Report abuse

"But the whole point of them moving away from luxury holidays is to do things as a normal family."

Note to TomKat:
"Normal" families don't worship aliens OR take security & religious fanatics along on the family camping trip.

Posted by: wadejg | March 10, 2009 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Somebody gave Paris Hilton another dog? Do they hate dogs that much? Ugh.

Posted by: DCCubefarm | March 10, 2009 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Uh oh, here comes round-the-clock coverage of TomKat's cross-country camping trip, complete with Katie making cupcakes.

If Octomom "understood the enormity and complexity of the task ahead", she wouldn't have 14 kids (are they all through IVF?). Period. It is sickening that her lifestyle is being funded and glamorized. She's a nutbag! She thinks holding one of her gazillion offspring for 10 minutes is "all he needed"? Yeah. Okay.

It's bad enough Daisy Dukes even exist, without the brain bleach necessary after reading Britney is wearing a pair.

Why is faux-lebrity Paris Hilton even allowed to have dogs? Hasn't she gone through several dozen in the last few years -- and do we know what ever happens to any of them? Are they dead in a closet somewhere because she forgot to feed/water them between club visits?

Posted by: Californian11 | March 10, 2009 1:22 PM | Report abuse

Are we sure that Paris Hilton got a dog? Given the story about Britney's "cat" being on the loose. It would be easy for Paris to mistake Britney's "cat" for a Pomeranian.

Who's providing 24x7 care for Octo-Mom? I recommend Dr. Phil, although you might be able to beat him, and I wish someone would.

Halle Berry is smokin' hot, regardless of how you characterize her skin color.

The Sun apologizes for writing the Isla Fisher had cosmetic surgery. They meant to write that Isla Fisher NEEDS to have cosmetic surgery.

While we're talking about apologies, see Jon Stewarts's "classy" apology to Jim Cramer of CNBC:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=220288&title=in-cramer-we-trust

George Carlin had a favorite term for Hayden Panettiere's behavior. He called it a Snappin' P***y. This is contrast to Britney's p***y, which apparently was hanging out, and which may be on the loose.

I have one addition to the excellent proposals for the Chris Brown-Rihanna play list:
Boom Boom Out Go the Lights

Finally, I propose that Miley Cyrus' heart condition be given its own name:
Tacky Cardia.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Chris Brown: "It's a Man's World" (by James Brown)

Rihanna (after she comes to her senses): "You Don't Own Me" (by Lesley Gore)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

Rihanna: "These Boots Were Made For Walkín'" (Nancy Sinatra)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 2:15 PM | Report abuse

For Rihanna, just to bring us back to Tina Turner, 'What's Love Got to do With It?'.

Octomom is getting $135,000/month around the clock care for her litter? I feel guilty asking relatives to watch my 1 kid for an evening.

Maybe wee Tom & Kat(i)e aren't really going camping, it could be Xenu is calling Tom home. Don't these things always happen out in the wilderness?

Posted by: jes11 | March 10, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Arrgh. Round the clock care by specialist neo natal nurses = no chance CPS will remove the kids to good homes. Like Californian, I just HATE that this woman is being "rewarded" for insane behavior that has endangered the safety and wellbeing of innocent children. Her existing six include at least one, possibly three, children with varying degrees of autism--I can imagine if they are acting out some of their anger it's a bit more extreme than crying and then being fine after being held for 10 minutes, which seems to be her constant answer for good parenting (give me a break). Aaargh. This story just drives me nuts.

I'm female, and I totally agree that Halle Berry is one of the five sexiest women in the world. I do wish they'd drop racial identification in these lists, it's so retro. I'd throw Selma, Angelina and Charlize on that list as well, in no particular order.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | March 10, 2009 2:30 PM | Report abuse

"Octomom is getting $135,000/month around the clock care for her litter? I feel guilty asking relatives to watch my 1 kid for an evening."

That's 'cause you're a good person, jes11, and not a nutbag whose whole nutbag family seems to have no morals or shame whatsoever and keep milking the system beyond belief. This whole thing drives me nuts too.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 10, 2009 3:13 PM | Report abuse

I know when we go camping as a "normal family," the highlight of our trip is always spaghetti carbonara over an open fire. First, you get the pasta pot out, then find 2 1/2 gallons of clean water, some sea salt, and put that on to boil.

Then, you get your Scientologist buddy to lug over the cooler with heavy cream, garlic, basil, parmaseano reggiano, and eggs. Peel and saute the garlic in a pan.

Have your Scientology buddy put the pasta in once the water reaches a rolling boil. While the pasta cooks, have him grate some cheese.

Very carefully pour in the cream and heat it through. Do not bring to a boil or else you'll get nasty skin on top and you don't want that. One by one, crack and mix in each egg. Purists go for 6 eggs. You're camping. Go for three and save some for breakfast.

Open up the ziplock bag with the chopped prosciutto in it and add to the cream sauce.

The pasta should be done. Have your Scientologist buddy test for al dente. Get out the strainer you lugged to the campsite and drain the pasta. Don't put out the fire when you drain the pasta! Have your buddy add the pasta to the pan with the cream and also add the grated cheese.

Open up the ziplock with the chopped basil in it and add as a last minute garnish.

Crack open some brewskis and serve the pasta on the Spode china you packed in the trunk of the car.

Enjoy! As my nona used to say, "there's nothin' like Pasta Carbonara over an open fire."

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 10, 2009 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Finally, I propose that Miley Cyrus' heart condition be given its own name:
Tacky Cardia.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 1:56 PM

============
Bada bing!

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 10, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Sas
Finally, I propose that Miley Cyrus' heart condition be given its own name:
Tacky Cardia.

Alternatively, Achy Breaky Heart?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, I like Achy Breaky Heart better.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Yes, all the Octo-mom kids are from IVF. The whole thing is crazy scary and I try not to read any of it. It makes my head hurt and it makes me really angry. Also, if I recall 3 of her older children have some sort of disability (not sure weather it's physical or mental) and she receives federal aid to help them. So the smart thing to do is go have 8 more babies!!!!

Halle is beautiful whatever category she's put in.

Posted by: Vienna8425 | March 10, 2009 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Mdreader01, if I forgot the Spode Woodland pattern, but instead packed a 4-place setting or Noritaki Blue Lagoon, is that okay?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 4:37 PM | Report abuse

Oh, Sas, you're making me blush.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Have your Scientology buddy put the pasta in once the water reaches a rolling boil.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 10, 2009 3:27 PM

Ever tried to get water to boil on a camp stove? Can't be done. I haven't tried it on an open fire but you'd have to have a pretty big fire going & it's hard to watch for the rolling boil once you've seared your eyeballs.

Posted by: jes11 | March 10, 2009 4:48 PM | Report abuse

Based on the recipe I propose mdreader01 as our Island Chef.

Posted by: jes11 | March 10, 2009 4:53 PM | Report abuse

mdreader, can I come to your house for dinner??

Posted by: hodie | March 10, 2009 4:56 PM | Report abuse

jes, excellent idea! Mudge,appointer of Island occupations, I second the nomination.

Posted by: hodie | March 10, 2009 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Is it soup yet? (Nosy Parker's tummy rumbles)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Is it soup yet? (Nosy Parker's tummy rumbles)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 5:11 PM

----------------------------------------------
Nope. We're waiting on the Lindbergh Baby.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Sas
We're waiting on...

As opposed to waiting for, shall I infer?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 5:45 PM | Report abuse

it ain't soup without the main ingredient.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 5:47 PM | Report abuse

Sas, remember that Queen Liz is a vegetarian.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 5:52 PM | Report abuse

Sas, remember that Queen Liz is a vegetarian.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 5:52 PM

---------------------------------------------
Okay.

How 'bout we substitute Terry Schiavo for the Lindbergh baby?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2009 6:19 PM | Report abuse

Sas, I was thinking more along the lines of Carrot Top.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 11:28 PM | Report abuse

Sas, I was thinking more along the lines of Carrot Top.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2009 11:41 PM | Report abuse

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