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Posted at 11:32 AM ET, 04/17/2009

Jamie Foxx, Hulk Hogan Lose; Barrymore and Boyle Win -- This Week's Best and Worst

By Liz Kelly

A new semi-regular winner in which we hand out accolades and, umm, the opposite of accolades to the celebrities who made this week memorable.


Jamie Foxx. (AP)

Loser: Jamie Foxx
We get that your roots are in comedy and, trust me, we here at Celebritology HQ are so not Miley Cyrus fans, but neither are we fans of a grown man suggesting an underage girl make a sex tape. Good on you for apologizing, but you should have known better.

It would really be a shame if "The Soloist" -- your upcoming movie co-starring Robert Downey Jr. due to be released next weekend -- suffered because you have diarrhea of the mouth.

Loser: Hulk Hogan
Last week, it seemed one couldn't be a bigger jerk than "Don't call me an actor" hothead Billy Bob Thornton, who managed to turn the entire population of Canada -- who he termed "mashed potatoes with no gravy" (I don't even know what that means) -- in a short radio interview.

But, this week Hulk Hogan managed to best (worst?) Thornton when he said this in response to a question about his split from wife Linda:

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife ... I totally understand O.J. I get it."

'nuff said.

Loser: CNN
Thank you, CNN, for sending out a breaking news alert at 2:26 a.m. to tell me -- and no doubt a gazillion other people -- that Ashton Kutcher had beat you in a race to one million Twitter followers. Because, honestly, it is pretty big news when a once venerated news organization devolves to the point of piggybacking on the spurious fame of a loopy B-lister whose major claim to fame is an MTV prank show.

Make sure to send out an alert ASAP when Larry King uploads pix of Anderson Cooper's backside.


Drew Barrymore. (AP)

---

Winner: Drew Barrymore
With the debut tomorrow night of "Grey Gardens" on HBO, the former child star gone bad then made good moves into a new phase of her career. Add a rumored reunion with boyfriend Justin Long and the fact that she looks absolutely fab and -- well, I could continue to gush, but you get the point.

(Related: Read Sally Quinn's essay about buying Grey Gardens from the Beales.)

Winner: Susan Boyle
Sure, we've been completely manipulated by a reality talent competition before and will be again, but it's kind of a surprise to actual come away from it feeling good.

The 47-year-old Boyle, who this week wowed "Britain's Got Talent" (and the rest of the world via YouTube) says she's "gobsmacked" by her instant stardom. So are we, but I'd trade 10 Susan Boyles for one Paris Hilton without batting an eye.

Who did I leave out? Add your winners and losers below.

By Liz Kelly  | April 17, 2009; 11:32 AM ET
Categories:  Winners & Losers  
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Next: Madonna Blames Paps for Tumble from Horse

Comments

cnn is just silly. i went back to watching the today show. at least they don't pretend to be serious news purveyors.

Posted by: memphis1 | April 17, 2009 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Proof that you're old (like me): you remember the days when MTV played music videos, and when CNN actually employed journalists who reported news.

Posted by: northgs | April 17, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Also greater-than-average losers this week: papparazzi. See the stories about Woody Harrelson and Patrick Swazye.

Lindsey Lohan scored a minor win with her FunnyOrDie video, and by not appearing cracked-out in public this week.

Posted by: northgs | April 17, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Lilo + eggs + papparazzo = winner!

Posted by: reddragon1 | April 17, 2009 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Big loser: Me, for failing to get this little piece of breaking LiLo news into yesterday's online chat.

Even Bigger Loser: LiLo, for screwing up the Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her arm.

LiLo's tat reads: "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle."

Marilyn's actual quote was
"I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle."

According to WikiQuote, the source is from a telegram she sent to Mr. and Mrs. Robert F. Kennedy (13 June 1962) turning down their invitation to an event they were hosting.

I find Marilyn's actual quote far more intriguing.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 17, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

I was happy to read that Seal & Heidi are having another child. They seem like a genuinely happy family.

Another big winner: Robyn Gibson who doesn't have a pre-nup and will be entitled to half of Mel's fortune, which is sizable. She deserves it.

Posted by: pras40 | April 17, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

loser- Madonna denied adoption rights for Mercy.

winner-Heidi Klum and Seal expecting fourth pup.

Posted by: hodie | April 17, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

winner/loser- Stephen Colbert. NASA contest to name new spacestation pod, Colbert garnered most votes. However, NASA renegged on promise and decide only to name a treadmill after him. Colbert still a winner by putting a positive spin on the news.

Posted by: hodie | April 17, 2009 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Losers: Real mother-daughter, Candy and Tori Spelling.

Winners: Fake mother-daughter, Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 17, 2009 12:27 PM | Report abuse

winner/loser- Stephen Colbert. NASA contest to name new spacestation pod, Colbert garnered most votes. However, NASA renegged on promise and decide only to name a treadmill after him. Colbert still a winner by putting a positive spin on the news.

Posted by: hodie | April 17, 2009 12:23 PM
-----------------------------------------

WORD! As in "Today's Word" ;-)

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 12:34 PM | Report abuse

I want a COLBERT decal and/or patch. Anyone know where I could get one? I don't see anything in the colbernation.com store.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Sas, was this you just now (since I know you're online?

DC: I guess I'm technically on the left, since I voted for Obama....I'm not angry. I feel much better these days. But I am overwhelmed by the ding dongs that can't pull together a solid explanation about tea-bagging. When you find one, please report away.

Dana Milbank: The chat moderator has forbidden me to talk about tea-bagging for reasons of double entendre. Let us hope that "tarred and feathered" isn't some grotesque sex act that I am not aware of.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/04/15/DI2009041502553.html

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 17, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Enough with the Jamie Foxx already! He apologized quickly and he did it right, none of that half-a$$ed "I'm sorry if I may have hurt anyone..."

Unfortunately for Miley, her parents have made her fair game. They promote (and profit from) her and her "sexuality" in photos and high fashion, so they don't get to complain when someone calls them on it.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 17, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly, I believe the word you're looking for 'the opposite of accolade' is "smaccolade."

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 17, 2009 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Agreed, paparazzi=huge losers.

Winners=Heidi and Seal, Bo the dog.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | April 17, 2009 2:14 PM | Report abuse

Waitaminnit! MM sends RFK a 'thanks-but-no-thanks' telegram on 6/13/62 and ends up dead less than two months later?

Maybe those cranks - er, conspiracy theorists, sorry - are onto something.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 17, 2009 2:16 PM | Report abuse

byoolin
MM sends RFK a 'thanks-but-no-thanks' telegram on 6/13/62 and ends up dead less than two months later?

byoo, as Sarah Palin has amply demonstrated, "thanks-but-no-thanks" doesn't carry the sting it once did.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 17, 2009 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, that Milbank question was not me. However, I amy very pleased that someone submitted a question and that Dana was ballsy enough to post an answer.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 2:36 PM | Report abuse

We forgot to mention the MLB Losers of the Week, The Washington Nationals!!! (Formerly the Montreal Teabaggers....errr....Expos, Byoolin)

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Sas, at least byoolin still has the Penguins.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 17, 2009 3:03 PM | Report abuse

jaybub, so you are saying Billy Ray is a loser. But then we knew that.

Posted by: reddragon1 | April 17, 2009 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Sorcers Cat, aka, Hermespal, can you get in the front of the line to write a Susan Boyle script? From what I've read, there's quite a story. I think that the timeline must go on a little longer to see what happens as a result of her new fame.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 4:00 PM | Report abuse

Sorcers Cat, aka, Hermespal, can you get in the front of the line to write a Susan Boyle script? From what I've read, there's quite a story. I think that the timeline must go on a little longer to see what happens as a result of her new fame.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 17, 2009 4:00 PM
==================
My crystal ball says that she becomes BFF with Gwynneth Paltrow, sells the cats, buys a Portie, hires Tracy Anderson to slim up, gets plastic surgery to look just like Rupert Everett v2.0, and dates John Mayer.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 17, 2009 4:27 PM | Report abuse

i was rooting for basementdad... though i doubt you'd have gotten a text if he'd won

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | April 17, 2009 6:07 PM | Report abuse

mdreader
My crystal ball says that she becomes BFF with Gwynneth Paltrow, sells the cats, buys a Portie, hires Tracy Anderson to slim up, gets plastic surgery to look just like Rupert Everett v2.0, and dates John Mayer.

SPLOOT! Bring on the Shamwow to wipe up the keyboard and screen.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 17, 2009 6:08 PM | Report abuse

Wow, when I heard Jamie Foxx said something controversial about Miley Cyrus, I thought it might actually be something. What is the big deal -- it's obvious he was joking. Who did it really hurt? He seemed to be making fun of the Britneys and Lilos of Hollywood. Is he a winner or a loser?

FWIW, I think Billy BOb Thornton is a loser every week of the year. Even though I liked Slingblade I find him execrable.

Posted by: msame | April 18, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Trade 10 Susan Boyles for one Paris Hilton? You sre you didn't mean it the other way around?

Posted by: MDey | April 20, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Foxx's carreer should be terminated for such offensive and illegal comments
And to a minor

Posted by: edla67 | April 21, 2009 5:15 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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