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Posted at 7:15 AM ET, 04/ 1/2009

Madonna Says Adoption is By the Book; Madison and Wozniak Cut from 'DWTS'

By Liz Kelly

The absolutely fabulous Robert Downey, Jr. in a still from his upcoming movie, 'Sherlock Holmes.' (Warner Bros.)
Wednesday

Headlines: Madonna says she's following standard procedures in Malawi adoption... Liam Neeson wraps up Toronto filming... Holly Madison and Steve Wozniak cut from "Dancing with the Stars"; David Alan Grier says he's lost 26 pounds since competition began... "Osbournes Reloaded" makes tepid debut... Britney Spears's stage show too sexy for kids?... Star Jones says she still sees herself as 300-pound woman some days... Nicole Richie adding shoes, bags to House of Harlow line... Sacha Baron Cohen editing explicit scenes out of new movie... Steve Martin to make Grand Ole Opry debut in May... Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel expecting first child.

Pix & Vid: Cloris Leachman dons lettuce leaf gown in new PETA ad... Matthew McConaughey and son Levi.

Crime Watch: "Real Housewife" Kelly Bensimon claims she was victim in assault case.

Rumor Mill: Brad Pitt issues marriage ultimatum to Angelina Jolie, claims OK!; meanwhile, Daily Mail says Jolie livid with beer-drinking, DVD-watching Pitt... Bridget Moynahan "furious" with Gisele Bundchen about Vanity Fair mommy comments... Dennis Rodman's ex says Dr. Phil bribed her to appear on show... Michelle Obama denies pregnancy rumors.

Say What?
"To do another one, I feel like it takes away the reality of it all." -- Miley Cyrus on why another "Hannah Montana" feature film would be a bad idea.

"Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." -- "Twilight" star Kristen Stewart on the vampire flick's rabid fans.

"Particularly when you don't have someone in your life ... in my experience, Sunday was the loneliest day." -- Keith Urban on the provenance of daughter Sunday Rose's name.

By Liz Kelly  | April 1, 2009; 7:15 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Gallery of Regrettable Publicity Stills: Russell Crowe

Comments

"Michelle Obama denies pregnancy rumors.

Every time the Obama family farts, it makes the news.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 1, 2009 8:07 AM | Report abuse

I'd be really upset w/ Giselle too. Imagine that- loving the kid like her own!

Posted by: Guest1234 | April 1, 2009 8:23 AM | Report abuse

Hey WaPo, please ban jezebel3 - (s)he seems to have a problem with bodily functions and quite frankly I'm tired of reading the same ole S*** comments.

Posted by: gamecock1 | April 1, 2009 8:47 AM | Report abuse

Look I'm all in favor of Gisele loving her husband's son but I felt her comments went overboard. And even if they didn't, she could have considered how they might be interpreted. "I love John. He's a precious baby. I'm glad he's part of my life." Nuff said.

jezebel3 hardly has the market cornered on distasteful comments. Just ignore it or tell jez to carm down when necessary.

Let's see Britney's show includes S&M dancers, bumping and grinding, almost non existent costumes...sure, bring the kiddies.

Posted by: pras40 | April 1, 2009 8:54 AM | Report abuse

On April 1, it's even more difficult than usual to guess which celebs are only fooling (not to mention which ones are just plain fools).

Jez, you can come up with better material than that. I know you have the talent, because I've appreciated some of your finer snark. This wasn't it, however.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 1, 2009 9:04 AM | Report abuse

RDJ looks delicious. Thanks, Liz.

Posted by: aesully | April 1, 2009 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Also, despite her current skeeviness, the lettuce gown on Cloris Leachman is really cool.
RDJ looks amazing in that photo. Although I still wouldn't have thought of him as Sherlock Holmes, I find myself at least interested in how he will interpret the character.

Posted by: pras40 | April 1, 2009 9:35 AM | Report abuse

The first casualty of the "Conficker" virus appears to be Steve Wozniak, since all the techheads were too busy clearing their server networks this week to call in to vote.

I was going to say that Cloris looks raddichio in that lettuce dress, but decided to leaf her alone.

Kelly, "He started it" doesn't work with my kids, either.

Bridget, trust me. The last person you want around your baby is someone who doesn't have motherly feelings for him.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Bridget's just getting catty because "Being Tom Brady's Baby's Mama" is all she has left, and now Giselle wants to take that away from her too?

Bring It.

Posted by: VTDuffman | April 1, 2009 9:46 AM | Report abuse

I can totally see RDJ as Holmes...


Angelina needs to stop abusing her body with detox diets. No wonder she's exhausted, withdrawn and prone to angry outbursts.

Posted by: memphis1 | April 1, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Again, for Joss Whedon fans who missed it yesterday (and Liz didn't post about it):

Andy Hallett - aka "Lorne" on Angel - passed away earlier this week at the age of 33 from heart disease brought on by a bout of cardiomyophathy in 2004. :(

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | April 1, 2009 10:01 AM | Report abuse

I hadn't realized "Hannah Montana" was a reality show. I thought becoming a reality show staple was still a decade off for Miley.

Does Keith see a lot of lonliness in his daughter's future? Man, he is awfully dark and tortured for a country musician.

Posted by: 44west | April 1, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Huh. I think Jez3 made that EXACT SAME LAME COMMENT last week.

You're BOOOOOOOOO-ring.

Posted by: Fruitfly1 | April 1, 2009 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Thankyouthankyouthankyou Liz for that RDJ pic....**wipes drool off of keyboard**

Posted by: wadejg | April 1, 2009 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Please keep the rabbits away from Cloris!

Posted by: hodie | April 1, 2009 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Check out these names!!! LOL!

Hey WaPo, please ban jezebel3 - (s)he seems to have a problem with bodily functions and quite frankly I'm tired of reading the same ole S*** comments.

Posted by: gamecock1 | April 1, 2009 8:47 AM | Report abuse

Okaaay, gamecock.

Huh. I think Jez3 made that EXACT SAME LAME COMMENT last week.

You're BOOOOOOOOO-ring.

Posted by: Fruitfly1 | April 1, 2009 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Sure, Fruitfly.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 1, 2009 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Angelina looks like Rosario Dawson in that photo of her in the suit with her arms crossed. Interesting. I never noticed a resemblance before.

Imagine! Brad wants a beer and a DVD once in a while! What a LAZY PIG! Bad example for fathers everywhere! No wonder Angelina doesn't want to marry him! Please. Sounds more like a nanny issue. Give the poor heartthrob a break.

Yet she "has been spotted deep in conversation with her brother James Haven in between takes." Would that be the kissing brother from the Oscars? Uh-oh!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 1, 2009 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Again, for Joss Whedon fans who missed it yesterday (and Liz didn't post about it):

Andy Hallett - aka "Lorne" on Angel - passed away earlier this week at the age of 33 from heart disease brought on by a bout of cardiomyophathy in 2004. :(

Posted by: Chasmosaur1

Oh no! :( He was one of my favorite characters, amazing actor and singer.

Posted by: moonwatcher13 | April 1, 2009 10:58 AM | Report abuse

did anyone watch the real housewives of nyc last night? there was a stunning smackdown between the leathery kelly and bethenny.
as far as the jezebel3 comments go, it's one thing to not like someone's comment and it's another to make fun of their user name. there is a difference. kindly snarking is in order. not meanness.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

as far as the jezebel3 comments go, it's one thing to not like someone's comment and it's another to make fun of their user name. there is a difference. kindly snarking is in order. not meanness.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

You have some input in your user name when you register with WaPo......user names are fair game.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 1, 2009 11:15 AM | Report abuse

You have some input in your user name when you register with WaPo......user names are fair game
***
really? the user has input on the user name he/she chooses to use? really? amazing. didn't know that.
no one else on this site has ever made fun of anyone else's user name. just you. so wouldn't pointing out someone's meanness be fair game as well?

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 11:30 AM | Report abuse

The item about Bridget Moynihan makes it sound like she herself is talking to the media, though the NYPost story says that, "while Moynahan is taking the high road and keeping quiet, her friends are not." Important distinction. I still don't see what the big deal is. Many stepparents have no time for their spouse's kids by another. Isn't Gisele being supportive? What am I missing?

And something's bugging me about that RDJ photo. Ah, the camera angle. Is he using Tom Cruise's camerman? RDJ looks about 6'5" there.

While Star Jones still sees herself as 300-pound woman, I see her as a 160-pound gnat. Shoo, already.

And Keith, if "Sunday was the loneliest day," a) don't name your kid Sunday and b) consider finding a larger church nearby. What a sad little moper you are. (But all is not lost, UrbanBoy. You're still warmer than your wife -- Nicole probably remembers her single Sundays as balmy, that is, when the temperature rises above 10 F and her forehead shows actual signs of muscle activity.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 1, 2009 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Of course Brit isn't too sexy for kids. If nothing else she's inspirational, a role model. I think at one point she straddles a riding crop.

Thankfully I don't see Star everyday or every month or most of the year so I don't have the same problem she has.

Posted by: petalceleb | April 1, 2009 11:39 AM | Report abuse

frieda406, welcome to Bravo's latest schtick du jour: toss in a "housewife" who isn't really all she really seems to be.

So how much like Gretchen Rossi or Kim Zolciak is Kelly Bensimon?

And how does Kelly expect to get $10.1 M for a four bedroom "cottage" in the Hamptons when the Count and Countess de Lesseps are only asking $6 M for their six bedroom spread?

Come to think of it...we Celebritologists have often talked about buying an island. Perhaps if we pooled our pocket change, we could afford the manse de Lesseps. Imagine the summers, poolside, snarking celebrities up close. Crashing parties at Diddy's or Martha's...

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 11:43 AM | Report abuse

No snark today. I think I'm experiencing karmic retribution for the snark I've given lately.

So congrats to Taye and Idina. Let's hope the baby has his jawline and her set of lungs.

Posted by: eet7e | April 1, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

"Madonna says she's following standard procedures in Malawi adoption..." Thanks, Liz Kelly, for getting the April Fool's Day item out of the way quickly.


Woz cut from "DWTS" but rebounds quickly with a live musical version of "Thomas The Tank Engine," featuring him in the title role.


"Britney Spears's stage show too sexy for kids?" Some would say she exceeds the raunch threshhold when she goes grocery shopping.


"Cloris Leachman dons lettuce leaf gown in new PETA ad." Gene Hackman admitted to hospital suffering from flashbacks.


"Bridget Moynahan "furious" with Gisele Bundchen." There's only one way to settle this. Sas will order the baby oil and I'll take care of the rasslin' ring rental.


"To do another one, I feel like it takes away the reality of it all." -- Miley Cyrus on why another "Hannah Montana" feature film would be a bad idea.
Reality responds: "I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work!"


"Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." -- "Twilight" star Kristen Stewart on the vampire flick's rabid fans. There's only one way to cure this. Sas will order the baby oil and I'll take care of the rasslin' ring rental.


Every time the Obama family farts, it makes the news. Especially if they were to do it in unison at the G20 meeting.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 1, 2009 12:03 PM | Report abuse

nothing serious, I hope, eet7e?

Posted by: hodie | April 1, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

byoolin,

I bow to the master.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 12:25 PM | Report abuse

This probably belongs on the TV chat, but I'll ask here: Did anybody see the new "reality competition" that debuted on Oxygen last night, "Pretty Wicked"? It looks like some kind of beauty pageant contestant self-awareness schtick. I've seen ads for it but don't get the channel in my cable package, but was wondering if it was snark-worthy.

Also, I've seen adverts for "The Cougar", a new reality show coming to TV Land. (We knew it had to happen sometime.) Quite aside from the fact that it's original programming, not reruns of Green Acres... Why this channel? Is it so horrid not even Fox Reality Channel would touch it? And doesn't the creator of "The Bachelor" have enough money already?

Posted by: northgs | April 1, 2009 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Is it too soon to start talking about the "Angel" curse? In addition to Andy Hallett's death, Glenn Quinn died of a drug overdose.

And speaking of vampires, maybe Kristen Stewart wouldn't be so scared if she wasn't stoned at every public appearance.

Posted by: buffysummers | April 1, 2009 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Liz, what do I owe you for that shot of Robert Downey Jr? That just turned my whole morning around. (Which is a little sad if I think about it.)I think td's right about the slightly misleading camera angle- RDJ looks much taller in that shot than he is. Maybe it's the high-waisted britches too.
Nevertheless. OM NOM NOM!


"Every time the Obama family farts, it makes the news. Especially if they were to do it in unison at the G20 meeting."

Cut to Angela Merckel leaning over her mic and asking, "Could I please have a translation of that last outburst?"

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 1, 2009 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, presumably Angela Merckel would still find it preferable to getting pawed by W.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 1, 2009 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, uh, so, Miley, uh . . . dang, I just can't think of any way to respond to that! When will her 15 minutes be up?

And Bridget Moynahan, don't worry, honey, we all know that you're the mom of that precious boy. And he knows it too, so don't fret. Having MORE adults in his life who adore him can only be good for him, so be glad Gisele does! She won't steal him from you.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 1, 2009 1:30 PM | Report abuse

Aww, thanks, hodie! Nothing too bad, just a deal at work that I thought was a sure bet is crumbling because my client is discriminating against my candidate, but in a very sly, can't prove anything way. That and the fact that it took me 1.5 hours to get out of the city yesterday when it usually takes 15 minutes. Nothing horrible, but just annoying. Thanks for asking, though!

Anyway....
I was scared to know what that Cloris Leachman ad looked like - thought it would be Adam and Eve style, but it's actually quite tasteful and pretty. I would buy a dress like that - made out of fabric, though, not lettuce. I'd be afraid of being attacked by rabbits.

Posted by: eet7e | April 1, 2009 1:32 PM | Report abuse

"presumably Angela Merckel would still find it preferable to getting pawed by W." - I know I would.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 1, 2009 1:32 PM | Report abuse

5 gallons of baby oil: check.

3200 degree Kelvin flood lights: check.

Shotgun microphones: check.

3 video camera with video mixer: check.

Background music for sound track: check.

Teleprompter in case Obama shows up: check.

Tear-away body suits for contestants: check.

Event License: check.

Contestant release forms: check.

Invitations to Lizards: check.

2 kegs Arn City: check.

50 Primanti sandwiches: check.

1 Cloris Leachman lettuce dress for Liz to eat: check.

2 vibrating Barcaloungers (for moi and Byoolin): check.

Did I forget anything?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

"Every time the Obama family farts, it makes the news. Especially if they were to do it in unison at the G20 meeting."

Cut to Angela Merckel leaning over her mic and asking, "Could I please have a translation of that last outburst?"

Posted by: Bawlmer51

--------------------------------------------
At least Chancellor Merckel would not have to ask "Wo ist der Ausfahrt?"

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Brangelina - PLEASE get married already and spare us the whole event. Have a small, justice of the peace courthouse wedding so you don't have to rub it in the faces of everyone you were supporting in your protests by not marrying. Otherwise, this non-event will be reported on forever - until the oldest (Maddox?) marries the first girl he meets and buys a house and vows to never move/get divorced/have children - just to be radical in your family.

Sadly, I bet the wedding will be in a castle (TomKat) where someone rides in on a horse (Trudie/sting) with some new culture you have adopted (Guy/Madonna. But still, get it over with already - you are clearly courting the publicity.

Posted by: Amelia5 | April 1, 2009 2:04 PM | Report abuse

eet7e, hope that knuckleheaded client of yours comes to their senses or else karma comes back to bite them in the butt. I really hate narrowmindedness.
So what kind of accessories goes with that dress of Cloris'? A bottle of Ranch dressing? (ba-da-bump)

Posted by: hodie | April 1, 2009 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, presumably Angela Merckel would still find it preferable to getting pawed by W.
Posted by: Nosy_Parker

The rest of the G20 might want to be careful- I imagine Chancellor Merckel took the precaution of having most of her formal outfits electrified since then. I can just see Joe Biden throwing a friendly arm around her shoulder and ending up as a twitching, swearing heap on the airport tarmac. DAST IS NOT FOR FINGERPOKEN.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 1, 2009 2:06 PM | Report abuse

I was going to say that Cloris looks raddichio in that lettuce dress, but decided to leaf her alone.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 9:37 AM

---------------------------------------------
That's some lovely tomato, eh? However, I'm disappointed that she's not wearing a 40 carrot necklace.

PETA has photos showing the set up for the shoot at http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=Cloris_Leechman_QA. Interestingly, my workplace net nanny blocked the pix, claiming, "This Websense category is filtered: Violence."

Websense is to common sense as military intelligence is to intelligence.

Now let's get going. We've got two wrasslin' contestants to oil up, and 5 gallons of baby oil to use.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

2 vibrating Barcaloungers (for moi and Byoolin): check.

Did I forget anything?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

My grandfather spelled it as "Barkaloungers"...woof!

"Did I forget anything?"

Lots of large economy-sized tubes of lube.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 1, 2009 2:09 PM | Report abuse

From the article: "Nicole [Ritchie] will debut about 20 footwear styles and a small collection of bags... "

The sound you head is that of applauding colostomy patients, who have until now despaired of finding shoes to match the bag.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 2:11 PM | Report abuse

"Did I forget anything?"

Lots of large economy-sized tubes of lube.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 1, 2009 2:09 PM

--------------------------------------------
Spectators must provide their own articles of amusement and accessory lubricants.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

I did wonder how Bridget Moynahan felt about Gisele's comments ... but she is one classy lady who always takes the high road. Good for her. btw, Gisele is absolutely stunning, but why does she feel the need to show us absolutely everything in Vanity Fair? So much sexier to leave some things to the imagination.

I think it's Britney herself that is unsuitable for children, and always has been.

"Angelina needs to stop abusing her body with detox diets. No wonder she's exhausted, withdrawn and prone to angry outbursts." -- AND she's a total nutball ...

Posted by: Californian11 | April 1, 2009 2:17 PM | Report abuse

If Cloris Leachman was to somehow get pregnant while wearing the dress, would she give birth to Cabbage Patch Kids?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 2:23 PM | Report abuse

"Osbournes Reloaded" ????

Does this mean that Sharon fell off the wagon again?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Sas
If Cloris Leachman was to somehow get pregnant

Well, I'd notify all the leading medical journals! (Or sell the story to the highest-bidding tabloid, then retire in luxury).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 1, 2009 2:29 PM | Report abuse

The Brangelina story is too laughable for words. She's complaining they have no time together because they have six kids (and here she is wanting ever more). He says only marriage will fix their broken relationship. Oh my. They really are just like regular people, right down to the denial and lack of a credible grasp on reality.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 1, 2009 2:36 PM | Report abuse

2 kegs Arn City: check.

50 Primanti sandwiches: check.

Did I forget anything?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot
========

Barf buckets.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 3:02 PM | Report abuse

"Barf buckets"?

Yinz don't know what yinz're (it's a word, according to some) missing, mdreader.

Sas, that appears to be an honest-to-goodness Boy Scout-issue "Ultimate 'Be Prepared' Brand Oil Wrestling Tournament In A Trunk" kit you've got there. Nice work.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 1, 2009 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Sas, that appears to be an honest-to-goodness Boy Scout-issue "Ultimate 'Be Prepared' Brand Oil Wrestling Tournament In A Trunk" kit you've got there. Nice work.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 1, 2009 4:26 PM
-------------------------------------------

Condoms: check.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 1, 2009 4:45 PM | Report abuse

byoolin...been there, done that. I'm partial to Isaly's chip chopped ham and much prefer Yuengling...except Yuengling Light. I'll have an 'Arn if all yunz got is a bawtol of Yuengling Light.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 1, 2009 5:01 PM | Report abuse

did wonder how Bridget Moynahan felt about Gisele's comments ... but she is one classy lady who always takes the high road.
*****
she did turn her friends loose, though, to respond, and respond they did.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 6:31 PM | Report abuse

frieda406, welcome to Bravo's latest schtick du jour: toss in a "housewife" who isn't really all she really seems to be.

So how much like Gretchen Rossi or Kim Zolciak is Kelly Bensimon?

And how does Kelly expect to get $10.1 M for a four bedroom "cottage" in the Hamptons when the Count and Countess de Lesseps are only asking $6 M for their six bedroom spread?

****
all of them are poseurs, but i can't help but watch it. moth to flame. my husband goes berserk. kelly is one of those who has no bodily functions whatsover. hence, she believes her hole in the wall digs are worth almost twice the classy countess's. we'll see. the countess's home is lovely. i bet she hates putting it on the market. but renting will be much cheaper. maybe she can rent that dump alex and her freaky husband were in.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 6:37 PM | Report abuse

and i'm joking when i write classy countess. she has a new book coming out. class with the countess or some such nonsense.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 1, 2009 6:38 PM | Report abuse

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