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Posted at 8:37 AM ET, 04/ 2/2009

Malawi Set to Approve Madonna Adoption, Says Official

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Malawi government to back Madonna's adoption bid, says government official... Sam Lutfi's sister says Britney Spears is afraid of her father... Chris Brown shoots hoops at Virginia college, poses with women's basketball team... Emma Watson tapped as Greenpeace global ambassador... Josh Duhamel asks for help with North Dakota flooding disaster relief... Meghan McCain lunches with Tila Tequila... Sports broadcaster Greg Gumbel says he was tricked into shooting infomercials.

Pix & Vid: Bjork, caped (denim) crusader... New Britney Spears Candies ad campaign... Marc Anthony, mad for plaid... Heidi Klum's impossibly high heels... Video: John Mayer debuts break-up song... Video: Keira Knightley stars in new domestic violence awareness campaign.

Glenn Close loads up on carrots on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon":

Rumor Mill: Chelsea Clinton engagement rumors false, says rep... Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler split again; could Gerard Butler have anything to do with it?... Lindsay Lohan denies breakup rumors; mom Dina tries to take 15-year-old Ali Lohan to L.A. nightclub (last item)... Is Britney Spears dating agent, dancer or K-Fed?... "Real Housewife" Alex McCord's home in foreclosure.

Say What?
"At one of the very first awards shows I ever did, there was a bottle of vodka in my gift bag. No one cared that they were giving this to a 12-year-old." -- Miley Cyrus in a new Glamour cover story.

"I'm sick of all the Hilton stuff, where all anyone cared about was whether I was doing coke in the bathroom or how many [bleeps] I was sleeping with. I'm done with partying and traveling. It's time to get this [bleep] started." -- Youngest Hilton sib Barron, 19, who aspires to be an "international singer-songwriter."

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's Celebritology Live, then stick around for the 'Lost' Hour at 3 p.m. ET.

* Note today's Britney Spears news hat trick, with Spears stories in Headlines, Pix and Video and Rumor Mill.

By Liz Kelly  | April 2, 2009; 8:37 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Hi! Billy Mays here! Wanted to tell you all about our newest product with the help of Greg Gumbel. You see, Greg was initially opposed to the idea of doing informercials. But after being accidentally hit in the head with a Big City Slider Station (good thing I had that Mighty Mendit to stitch him up!), wrapped in a Snuggie, and gagged with a ShamWow, well, he changed his mind! Tell us about the Steam Buddy, Greg! (Oh, and pay no attention to that Awesome Augur I have pressed into your side off-camera!)....

Tila Tequila looks up to Dita Von Teese? Tell me Dita's simply taller?

I love Bjork -- for a good laugh, find Dawn French's parody of her one video on the back of a flatbed truck -- but are those LiLo leggings our crazy Icelander is sporting under that poncho?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 2, 2009 9:15 AM | Report abuse

How does one get "tricked" into making an infomercial? You have to figure that it must be harder than getting tricked into buying whatever they're selling.

Bjork's cape is nothing compared to what's underneath: she looks like she's been spraypainted with dazzle ships camouflage.

Marc Anthony appears to be a one-man reenactment of The Battle Of Culloden.

Heidi's only borrowing those shoes until KISS takes its "Destroyer" album back out on tour.

"At one of the very first awards shows I ever did, there was a bottle of vodka in my gift bag. No one cared that they were giving this to a 12-year-old." -- Miley Cyrus in a new Glamour cover story. (Oops - that's the bag for Ali Lohan. You can just give it to her mom.)

Yo, Barron, you're mistaken: nobody - NOBODY - really ever gave a rat's you-know-what about whether you were doing coke in the bathroom or who you were sleeping with. I mean, we had that office pool about whether you'd die in a pool of your own vomit or of syphilis, but that's not exactly like caring.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2009 9:25 AM | Report abuse


I never even heard of you. Why don't you go to college? Take Miley and her vodka with you? Maybe then you will realize that you have been making stupid, profanity filled comments that make you sound like an uneducated idiot. And Miley will have a future that differs from the other great Disney, uneducated but she could sing and was cute disaster - Britney.

Posted by: Amelia5 | April 2, 2009 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Barron should replace Fallon... but only if he can stuff more carrots in his mouth and keep them there longer than Fallon can. I'm hoping for 6 months for both of them.

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | April 2, 2009 10:01 AM | Report abuse

The funniest thing about Chris Brown at UMW is that it is white ribbon week - to raise awareness of domestic violence. I just about choked when I heard that.

Don't front, Miley, we all know you downed that bottle as soon as you got to your room.

So they're denying Chelsea Clinton is engaged, which in celebspeak means she's pregnant, right? Or something?

I think we could have gone with "Is Britney Spears dating?" and ended there. And I much prefer an Alexander Ovechkin hat trick.

Greg Gumbel, I had once considered you the smartest of the two Gumbels. Now I think you're both dumb.

And from yesterday: hodie, me too. their narrowmindedness is totally off base because the candidate is absolutely perfect and everything they're looking for, but they're jumping to conclusions about her without having all the facts.

And the baby oil wrestling thing reminds me of the Mashed Potato wrestling that took place at one of my college beach weeks. Baby pool + 14 boxes of instant potatoes + a girl wearing a painted-on bikini top = interesting and messy NSFW-edness.

Posted by: eet7e | April 2, 2009 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Tough to top the comments thus far! td and byoo rule.

The only thing i'd change is that BILLY MAYS SHOUTS EVERYTHING!

If only I had known you could make an entire career out of being annoying. I would have taken an entirely different set of classes in college.

SHOUTING 101: How to get your point across without being subtle.

gadget pitching 202. instructor: ron popeil. only offered between midnight and 4 a.m.

headset 101. how to walk, talk and fling products all while wearing a headset.

the art of perpetual excitement. prerequisite: SHOUTING 101. How to make anything seem fun and original. textbook: the phone book and dictionary.

Posted by: memphis1 | April 2, 2009 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Gosh, I know how Greg Gumbel feels. When I was in high school I was *tricked* into drinking beer.

Posted by: jes11 | April 2, 2009 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Dina Lohan is working overtime to earn her Mother of the Year award, it seems.

Honest to god, would it be possible to have Ali placed with Child Protective Services? Obviously it's too late for Lindsay, but maybe Ali can still be saved.

Heidi's shoes=horrifying.

Barron Hilton: STFU. Nobody cares. Seriously-please disappear.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | April 2, 2009 10:21 AM | Report abuse

The only solution for Barron Hilton is to take over Boy George's tour. That way, be can get his "international singer-songwriter career" started, we wouldn't care that he's a Hilton, and his private life couldn't be nearly as interesting as the one of the man he'd be replacing.

LiLo goes to clubs "to hear Samantha spin or be normal." Does that mean that LiLo is abnormal everywhere else?

More LiLo...why, oh why in blazes would you name a "chemical free self-tanner" after a pesticide?

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 2, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

Interested in shouting? See Mr. Ken Dove at about the 4:40 mark.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2009 10:36 AM | Report abuse

The Alex McCord story is an April Fool's joke (unfortunately).

Posted by: nadabraintheOriginal | April 2, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

The real tragedy of the Greg Gumbel story is now that he's exposed the seedy workings of the infomercial industry, he'll never get a spokesperson gig with NutriSystem.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 2, 2009 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Props to Emma Watson, Keira Knightley and Josh Duhamel, for using their celebrity status to do the right things.

textbook: the phone book and dictionary.

Wouldn't this be cross-listed with Filibustering 101 in the Poli Sci department?

Miley Cyrus
"At one of the very first awards shows I ever did, there was a bottle of vodka in my gift bag. No one cared that they were giving this to a 12-year-old."

As tempting as it is to snark, I'll give the girl a pass here, as I detect (I hope) a sincere tone of indignation in her words, and I don't recall having ever seen reports of Miley under the influence.

Sam Lutfi's sister says Britney Spears is afraid of her father.

Oh, but Brit's NOT afraid of Sam Lutfi? Ironclad proof, alas, that (but for her meds) Brit's still krazar.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Oh, my. Were Bjork to wear that outfit onto the NYC subway, she'd get the "everybody give the crazy lady plenty of space" treatment.

Were Heidi Klum to wear those boots onto the NYC subway, everybody would think she was a drag queen.

Barron Hilton, if you were to make those comments on the NYC subway, everybody would think you were a spoiled trust-fund brat-poseur who needed to be taught a lesson. Then they'd send you to Canarsie.

Re: Ali Lohan and the nightclub - where's ep when you need her - I think a normal parent trying to take their obviously underage kid into a bar would find themselves on the hook with CPS. But in Dina's defense, at least it wasn't a night that the club's stripper pole would have been in use.

Posted by: northgs | April 2, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

rats. the mccord story is april fool's on the foreclosure? not that i wish that on anyone, but this season's the RHoNYC has been the gift that keeps on giving.
found it stunning that the school allowed chris brown to pose w/its women's b-ball time. talk about lack of common sense and perspective. and it's a week to raise awareness of DV? i guess they did that, all right. sheesh.
dina lohan is a doof.
love billy may. or should i say: LOVE BILLY MAY. bwtheck is w/his hair and beard being dyed the same color. isn't that a huge no no?
ditto any hilton.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 2, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse


The mere celebrity nature of Greg Gumbel and Barron Hilton begs the need for a reality show: "My Sibling Is More Famous Than I Am for a Reason."

Toss in Billy Baldwin, Christopher Ciccone, Bijou Phillips.... Blend equal parts The Biggest Loser, Dr. Drew, and Big Brother. Serve to a willing public.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 2, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

That image of Glenn Close with the carrots is NSFAnyone. It's just a huge ick.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 2, 2009 12:42 PM | Report abuse

For Lizards who won't be politically offended:

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2009 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Doesn't Marc Anthony realize that Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 2, 2009 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Here's a picture guaranteed to cool down anyone who has the hots for Salma Hayek:

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 2, 2009 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Sas, maybe he's thinking of auditioning for "Forever Plaid."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2009 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Nosy - Or maybe the Bay City Rollers are making a big comeback and Marc Anthony is all over it?

Posted by: JLRGG | April 2, 2009 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Michele Obama is rocking (some questionable) plaid today in London as well. Perhaps we didn't get the plaid memo.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 2, 2009 4:14 PM | Report abuse

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