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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 04/28/2009

Mother's Day Gift Guide: Hollywood Wax

By Liz Kelly

Penny Marshall as Laverne from 'Laverne & Shirley.' Yes, Shirley is also available. (Image courtesy Profiles in History)

Mother's Day is just days away and I'm guessing you're thinking of showing up at mom's with yet another potted plant. Being mom-like, yours will stifle the urge to brain you with the hundredth hydrangea and instead smile and thank you for being such a thoughtful child. But this year you can avoid that sad scene by showing mom how much you truly appreciate all of the needless heartache and premature aging you've caused her by giving a gift that speaks from the heart.

Imagine the utter joy mom will experience when you surprise her with a life-sized wax figure of Robin Williams in his seminal role as mom-friendly, spinach-pushing sailor Popeye. You can thank me later for clueing you in to the Hollywood Wax Museum's auction of more than 160 wax figures. The actual auction begins on Thursday, but you can start placing your bids now for Popeye and these other priceless Hollywood artifacts:

Henry Winkler as the Fonz: Your mom may be all alone now that you and the rest of your selfish siblings have fled the nest and moved too far away to return for most holidays, but with the Fonz around she'll never be alone again. Aayyyy! (Estimated selling price: $3,000 - $5,000)

Johnny Carson: Leno Shmeno. Mom remembers when quality late night TV meant double entendres and a florid co-host. And, if you squint, this figure could also double as Lloyd Bridges. Bonus! (Estimated selling price: $2,000 - $3,000)

Jerry Lewis: If your mom is a) French or, b) Possessed of particularly bad eyesight she'll be delighted to welcome this jaunty figure of Lewis, dressed for his role in 1952's "Sailor Beware" to her home. (Estimated selling price: $2,000 - $3,000)

Charlton Heston from 'The Ten Commandments': Honor your mom's devout Christian beliefs with a detailed figure of a 6 ft. 4 in. bearded Heston hefting two stone tablets. It's miraculously unremarkable! (Estimated selling price: $3,000 - $5,000)

The Alien from 'Aliens': You don't like your mom much, do you? Let her know with this not-so-subtle hint. (Estimated selling price: $2,000 - $3,000)

Oprah and Whoopi: Your mom wastes her days watching TV talk. You may not like it, but show her you respect her TV habits by filling her living room with creepy wax likenesses of TV talking heads Oprah and Whoopi Goldberg. (Estimated selling price for each: $2,000 - $,3000)

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise: Mom always thought they were such a nice couple. Now they can be reunited forever -- perhaps seated in the den to watch "Eyes Wide Shut" with mom again and again? (Estimated selling price: Kidman $1,000 - $1,500, Cruise $3,000 - $5,000)

Crockett and Tubbs from "Miami Vice": Mom knows the '80s were the coolest era ever. That's why she's still rocking shoulder pads and a perm. Now she won't look so out of place when surrounded by TV's coolest detectives ever, played by Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. Look ma, no socks! (Estimated selling price per figure, $3,000 - $5,000)

By Liz Kelly  | April 28, 2009; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Holiday Guide, Hollyweird  
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Comments

Curse you, Net Nanny!

Posted by: memphis1 | April 28, 2009 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Some other gems: Rudy Valentino in his Lawerence of Arabia attire, Yul Brenner as the King of Siam, Archie Bunker, Mr. T (fool!), a Klingon, and JFK.

For you jaybub, they have Patrick Swayze from Roadhouse. Tell the kids!

Oh, and if you think this is too extravagant for Mother's Day, they also have a nice Nativity scene that you can put away until Christmas. Just don't set up near your yule log.

Posted by: hodie | April 28, 2009 11:37 AM | Report abuse

'Splain to me why TUBBS will fetch more than Nicole Kidman???? Tubbs was not the reason people tuned in every week. In fact, has anyone even wondered where the actor is these days?

Posted by: epjd | April 28, 2009 11:39 AM | Report abuse

'Splain to me why TUBBS will fetch more than Nicole Kidman???? Tubbs was not the reason people tuned in every week. In fact, has anyone even wondered where the actor is these days?

Posted by: epjd | April 28, 2009 11:39 AM
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Perhaps they're charging by the pound. In which case, the wax Lindsay Lohan would cost about $500.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 28, 2009 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Since my employer won't let me have the same access that hodie's does (guess they have an unhealthy attitude toward body parts), I'm going to guess that they have a wax figure of Kim Kardashian, which, if you believe td's post from yesterday, probably has more talent than the actual person.

If mom liked Celebrity Apprentice the other night, you could get her a wax Melissa and Joan Rivers. Then they could have an ACTUAL melt-down. The representation of Joan should be especially life-like, since she is mostly artificial already.

Posted by: reddragon1 | April 28, 2009 11:49 AM | Report abuse

No way is that Nicole Kidman. Way too tan.

Lot #12, the Piano Player, looks like Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button.

Liz should have noted that there are some items other than wax figures in this auction. Notable choices for Mother's Day include:
-- For the self-sufficient Mom, a "Michael Landon gunbelt/quickdraw rig from Bonanza"
-- For the back-on-the-market Mom, an "Original Cats costume" (note: costume comes on a lifesize display figure)
-- For the sporty Mom, Dan Marino, Wayne Gretzky, or Fernando Valenzuela autographed memorabilia
-- For the older Mom (or perhaps Great-Aunt Bertha), the "Irene Ryan Granny Hat from the Beverly Hillbillies"

And a special early Father's Day gift, Hugh Hefner's pajamas.

Posted by: northgs | April 28, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

I thought about giving her the Michael Jackson doll that's up for auction or a back in the day heart shaped poster made of macaroni. However, I like living so the search continues but thanks for the ideas Liz.

Posted by: petalceleb | April 28, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

I'm trying to figure out how I'd rationalize the gift purchase to Mom, but all the explanations start out "First, hide Mom's hearing aide..."

Posted by: trichobezoar | April 28, 2009 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Is that Oprah or Chaka Khan??

Posted by: daytripper | April 28, 2009 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Some things beg for rewrites, like the second paragraph. I was powerless to stop it.

"Imagine the utter joy mom will experience when you surprise her with a life-sized wax figure of John Holmes in one of his seminal roles."

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 28, 2009 2:40 PM | Report abuse

(The Holmes is also the only figure sold by the inch, incidentally.)

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 28, 2009 2:42 PM | Report abuse

Didn't we already establish that the de rigeur gift for Mom this year is a lifesize, cardboard cutout of Dolph Lundgren?

If you can get a wax Dolph, you could
a. film your own movie,
b. never have to worry again about HOV lanes,
c. scare off would-be house thieves, and
d. protect the US-Mexican border.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 28, 2009 3:10 PM | Report abuse

mdreader, I'm having trouble figuring out how to get Waxy Dolph to sit in my car? Do they make bendable wax figures? I'm also afraid that he'll melt if I leave him in my hot car. I'm sure it is no fun scraping wax off leather seats and worse for upholstery.

Posted by: hodie | April 28, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

And if your bid is on the money, imagine the look of surprise on Mom's face when she sees a life-sized Ron Jeremy reprising his most famous act.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 28, 2009 3:39 PM | Report abuse

(The Holmes is also the only figure sold by the inch, incidentally.)

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 28, 2009 2:42 PM
---------------------------------------------
If you bid and win on an inch of John Holmes, do you have to leave a tip?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 28, 2009 4:02 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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