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Posted at 8:35 AM ET, 04/16/2009

Nadya Suleman Wants to Trademark 'Octomom'; Mel Gibson Spotted with Another Mystery Blonde

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Nadya Suleman wants to trademark "Octomom"... Jessica Simpson's mom calls her daughter "top heavy"... Keshia Knight Pulliam ("The Cosby Show's" Rudy Huxtable) lands reality show... Will Ferrell to guest star on Discovery's "Man vs. Wild"... Oxygen network enlarges Tori Spelling's TV footprint... "Top Chef's" Padma Lakshmi starts endometriosis awareness foundation... Ashton Kutcher challenges CNN to Twitter popularity contest somehow involving something described as a "ding-dong ditch"... Sacha Baron Cohen tricks Ron Paul into "Bruno" seduction scene... Woody Allen battles American Apparel over unauthorized ads... New Michelle Pfeiffer movie goes straight to DVD.

Crime Watch: Nate Dogg stalking charges dropped... One-time producer Scott Storch busted for alleged grand theft auto.

Pix & Video: Mel Gibson hits the beach with another mystery blonde... In TMZ video, Brad Garrett tells paparazzo to speak English and "wear the turban" (video)... Ex Justin Long joins Drew Barrymore at movie premiere (but she says he's just a friend); more Drew -- Barrymore rocks puffy sleeves at Letterman taping... Lindsay Lohan pelts paparazzi with eggs... Hugh Jackman appears on bizarre Spanish TV show (video).

Rumor Mill: Heidi Klum expecting fourth child?... Salma Hayek denies plans to throw $2 million wedding... Despite new boyfriend, Paris Hilton calling ex Stavros Niarchos three times a week... Nevermind the Heidi Klum baby bump speculation, I just like this pic of her with sons Johan and Henry... P. Diddy co-starring in new Russell Brand comedy... "Real Housewife" Jill Zarin undergoes breast reduction surgery... Ryan Seacrest dating L.A. cocktail bar waitress?

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET to debate Bai Ling (Crazy or cool?) and much more in this week's Celebritology Live chat. Then, join Jen Chaney and me at 3 p.m. ET for some serious crazy talk in The "Lost" Hour.

By Liz Kelly  | April 16, 2009; 8:35 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: 'Lost' Dueling Analysis: 'Some Like It Hoth'

Comments

Drew Barrymore rocks puffy sleeves at Letterman taping...

1. The puffy sleeves are pure Ricky Ricardo.

2. Give that woman a sandwich.

Posted by: jezebel3 | April 16, 2009 8:54 AM | Report abuse

Keshia Knight ("Rudy") Pulliam's show will explore what it's like to be young, single, rich and co-habiting. Isn't that basically what we got with Newlyweds, with Jessica and Nick? (Except for the single, of course.) I just think such a show is a recipe for a break up.

Ashton Kutcher amuses me.

Posted by: msame | April 16, 2009 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Does anyone else want to help Jessica and Ashlee Simpson get restraining orders from their parents?

Having never seen the reality show, I really can't tell the difference between Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, and the twenty gazillion other pretty young (mostly blond) female singers out there. If it weren't for this blog, she wouldn't be on my radar, really.

But man, I can't imagine growing up with Joe & Tina as my role models. (Actually, that explains a lot now that I think about it...)

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | April 16, 2009 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Ok now I HAVE to see the new Bruno flick!

Posted by: wadejg | April 16, 2009 9:11 AM | Report abuse

Pssst...Liz, it's Ferrell. Not Farrell.

Posted by: fairfaxcty | April 16, 2009 9:16 AM | Report abuse

Thanks fairfax -- fixing now.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | April 16, 2009 9:19 AM | Report abuse

"Nadya Suleman wants to trademark "Octomom"." I can only imagine that her other six kids are feeling like they got screwed here.


Tori Spelling on Oxygen network makes me glad I have only basic cable.


Hey, Brad Garrett, didn't you learn anything from Michael "Kramer" Richards? After his tirade, he doesn't work anymore and has to live off the residuals from the wildly successful tv show he starred in for a decade. Heyyyy. You *are* a clever SOB, aren't you?


Drew, Letterman's just married, not dead. You can still show him your flappers.


Between yesterday's FunnyOrDie clip and today's egging, all is forgiven LiLo. Can I buy you a drink?


Man, Spain gets El Hormiguero and we get more Tori Spelling. Life just isn't fair.


Seacrest dating waitress: Listen, you can do better than that. Where's your dignity? Don't you even care what people will think? I mean, *dating Ryan Seacrest*?

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 16, 2009 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Octomom is having her own "Documentary" show (totally different from a reality show!) airing in Britain that she hopes will be aired sometime in the US. She's tradmarking "Octomom" (because tetradecamom doesn't have the same ring, sorry non-octuplet loser kids) for use in a line of dresses and other products.

But she doesn't want to be famous! Why won't people leave her alone!

When I was younder "ding dong ditch" was synonymous with "Ring and run" where you would ring someone's doorbell late ant night and run away, we were quite the rebels back in the day. I'm not exactly sure how that would translate to twitter, though.

Posted by: VTDuffman | April 16, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Duffman, thanks for "tetradecamom." I wanted to make a joke about 14 kids but for some reason* couldn't think of the word.

*Aphasia, probably.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 16, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

"Duffman, thanks for "tetradecamom." I wanted to make a joke about 14 kids but for some reason* couldn't think of the word."

In the interest of full disclosure, I had to google it :-[

Posted by: VTDuffman | April 16, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

You are sucking me back in. Only becuase this is the only blog that uses words like "tetradecamom" casually. Oh and then someone APOLOGIZES for not knowing it.

Anyway, could we challenge her attempt at copyright? We used it first and have the written proof.

Posted by: epjd | April 16, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

To: Drew Barrymore
Re: that dress

Dear Drew,

No.

Sincerely,
jaybbub

Posted by: jaybbub | April 16, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Lilo paparazzo jeered.
Jill Zarin bioengineered.
Would like to think Will Ferrell's reindeer eyes reappeared.
Salma Hayak's wedding budget commandeered.
Sasha Baron Cohen interfered.
Seal's children are Heidi-reared.
Michelle' Pfeiffer's career is toilet-steered.
Keesha Knight Pulliam's show is soon premiered.
Ryan Seacrest found himself a beard.
And Nadya Suleman is still extremely weird.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 16, 2009 10:18 AM | Report abuse

And mdreader's poetry cheered.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 16, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

EP! Nice to see you!

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 16, 2009 10:24 AM | Report abuse

"As of Wednesday afternoon, Kutcher's Twitter account had 896,947 followers, putting him in third place in the number of followers. Britney Spears was in second with about 905,640 followers, and CNN's breaking news account was watched by 937,787 people on the site."

Kutcher and CNN are racing to see who gets to 1 million first. But, franky, this isn't even close. There's always the chance that Kutcher may Twitter Demi Moore's bum. What would you get on CNN? Rik Sanchez Twittering Larry King's posterior? Candy Crowley's? Ed Lavandera?

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 16, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

EP, we're like the mob. You try to get out, but we keep pulling you back in.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 16, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

I'll be Suleman gets a PhD just to be called Doctor Octomom.

Posted by: MzFitz | April 16, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

She wants to WHAT? Trademark "Octomom"?

(ka-ching)

Well, I guess an "Octomom" (ka-ching) has to earn a living somehow.

As ever, tired of reading about "Octomom" (ka-ching), I am

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | April 16, 2009 10:43 AM | Report abuse

I made up a joke about clubbing baby seals when Seal and Heidi have sex that I used through her last two pregnancies, and I'm glad that I can use it again.

Posted by: MzFitz | April 16, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

To: Heidi and Seal
Re: all y'all

Dear Cute Celebs,

You may just be the most adorable celeb family ever. Please defy the odds and stay together.

Yours,
jaybbub

Posted by: jaybbub | April 16, 2009 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Apologies, but today's Lost post is running a wee bit late.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | April 16, 2009 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Hurry, Liz! Doc Jensen's isn't up yet either... we're in withdrawal here!

Posted by: AmberGale | April 16, 2009 11:08 AM | Report abuse

ep! Yay! You can't stay away, you love us waaay too much.

"Salma denies plans to throw $2million wedding."
It's $3million, thankyouverymuch.

I can't wait to see Will Ferrell getting bitten by an alligator during Man vs. Wild. He should bring Brian Fellows with him: "Welcome to Man vs. Wild, I'm Brian Fellows!"

Posted by: eet7e | April 16, 2009 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Hurry, Liz! Doc Jensen's isn't up yet either... we're in withdrawal here!

Posted by: AmberGale | April 16, 2009 11:08 AM | Report abuse

Ditto. Feeling...weak....
Need....Lost....analysis...
Miles....saw....mini-Miles...*twitch twitch*

Posted by: eet7e | April 16, 2009 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Liz,

Sorry, but hasn't "Lost" jumped the time-traveling shark yet?

'pufft' (I was here a minute ago . . . ),

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | April 16, 2009 11:12 AM | Report abuse

"Will Ferrell to guest star on Discovery's 'Man vs. Wild'" -- Great, one more show I watch ruined by a celebrity I can't stand. I should just stop watching "Dirty Jobs" now before Chelsea Handler shows up.

"Woody Allen battles American Apparel over unauthorized ads." -- What's his beef? The fact that someone found him relevant enough now to mock? For a whole generation, he's just that old creepy guy who slept with his stepdaughter.

"Lindsay Lohan pelts paparazzi with eggs" -- I guess the Lohans have different Easter traditions. In my house, we hide the eggs for the kids to find.

"Mel Gibson hits the beach with another mystery blonde" -- I guess Britney's back in another wig for more chat. Let's listen in.

MEL: Nice extensions. You look like Jessica Simpson. How are the kids?

BRITNEY: Like I would know? Where are we, anyway?

MEL: Costa Rica. How can you not know that; are you stoned?

BRITNEY: In my dreams, Opus Dei. Since Daddy took over my bank accounts, all I do is sign my name, lip synch, and go where they tell me to. Haven't seen my own passport in years. But I'm stronger than yesterday. How's the divorce coming?

MEL: Not too bad so far. The PR team is working on those bullet points you recommended, and my lawyer thinks we can settle for under $400 million.

BRITNEY: What? You tell that wife of yours to stuff that deal up her Apocalypto and start over. To think you starred in "What Women Want."

MEL: What do you know? You're just a girl.

BRITNEY: I'm not a girl. You drive me crazy. Let's talk about your court wardrobe. You need to show you're strong yet sensitive. The Circus tour's closing so I got a ringmaster costume that just might fit if you lose a few LBs. Let's go for a run.

MEL: Hey, I'm for love, not war. How about we have a beer? Or would you rather have a tequila sunrise? Waiter! Beer for me, and bring Baby One More Time here something toxic....

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 16, 2009 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Ding-dong ditch is when kids ring someone's door bell and then run away. You hide behind some bushes and laugh as the person opens their front door and looks around. When I was a kid there was a much more offensive term that was used.

Posted by: buffysummers | April 16, 2009 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Woah, td.

What do you mean lurking in the bushes in Costa Rica while Mel was giving spiritual counseling to Brit. (nice going)

Did they buy you a beer, too? (Can those drinks possibly compare to the ones you can get at the Lizard Island Tiki Bar.)

Yours in lurking,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | April 16, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Hey - ep - maybe I coined Octomom? (I think I used it first here - but maybe the historian will know for sure).

Please, please get me the royalties! Just come back for that alone!

Posted by: Amelia5 | April 16, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

I was always partial to "clown car vagina". Anyone got that trademarked yet?

Posted by: bobsewell | April 16, 2009 11:54 AM | Report abuse

I'm with you, bobsewell, "clown car vagina" is outstanding.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 16, 2009 12:03 PM | Report abuse

I made up a joke about clubbing baby seals when Seal and Heidi have sex that I used through her last two pregnancies, and I'm glad that I can use it again.

Posted by: MzFitz | April 16, 2009 10:44 AM
========================
So, this morning, I was watching the CNN (on the TV, not the Twitter.) I saw a story about how the Japanese have manufactured these adorable, robotic baby seals that have 12 different movements. They're a big hit with Japanese senior citizens.

She showed an elderly woman tickling one under the chin.

I was waiting for the footage of an elderly man reliving his youthful days as a fisherman, clubbing one over the head. Unfortunately, they managed to edit that out.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 16, 2009 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Ryan Seacrest's life is turning into a Human League song.

George Clooney briefly dates cocktail waitress. Ryan Seacrest now dating cocktail waitresses. Perhaps both men fail to hear the "tail" part when the ladies first introduce themselves.

Posted by: mdreader01 | April 16, 2009 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Lilo has now done two things I can applaud: dumping SamRo (i'm assuming here) and pelting papparazzi with eggs.

If the Oxygen network changes its name to the Octomom network, I'll be convinced the world is coming to an end. Maybe the new network will carry the Michael Vick and Blago reality show, narrated by Hulk Hogan.

CCV is the obvious sequel to "the Vagina monologues."

Posted by: reddragon1 | April 16, 2009 12:48 PM | Report abuse

"New Michelle Pfeiffer movie goes straight to DVD."

Poor Michelle, she's becoming Meg Ryan, without the bad plastic surgery.

On a somewhat similiar note, I just saw "Rachel Getting Married", Debra Winger, without a hint of cosmetic work, looks amazing.

Posted by: milesdy | April 16, 2009 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Wow guys, you all made my day. I thought no one had picked up on "clown car vagina". I will start the trademark process now ;-).

I really like tetradecamom too, and boy could she look more like a pathetic, desperate, fame-grubbing nutbag?

I agree Heidi and Seal's kids are cute as can be, but sheesh, could they HAVE more names?!

Posted by: Californian11 | April 16, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

mdreader01
George Clooney briefly dates cocktail waitress. Ryan Seacrest now dating cocktail waitresses.

Didn't Nicolas Cage actually marry one?


Woody Allen battles American Apparel over unauthorized ads.

Never imagined I'd be taking Woody's side, but don't people generally own the rights to their own image? EP, EP??? Could you bail me out on this point?


Salma Hayek denies plans to throw $2 million wedding.

Hurrah for another blow against the wedding-industrial complex!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 16, 2009 1:00 PM | Report abuse

"Didn't Nicolas Cage actually marry one?"

Yes, I think a sushi waitress. In photos she looks young enough to be his child.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 16, 2009 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Nadya is just encouraging the next crazy to go for "Nonomom". Aw heck, why not shoot for the stars. Tell that guy between your legs with the turkey baster and diploma he got from a cereal box to make it an even dozen. Ep, let's challenge that name. You were right, it was used here long before I heard it elsewhere. Was that yours, Ameila? I did love Clown Car Vagina too, Californian. If she does succeed, we should no longer refer to her as Octomom. Why give her the satisfaction?

What will Ashton do next? Will he come up with a twitter game that involves asking for Prince Albert in a can?

Ryan Seacrest is dating a waitress. Does the waitress have an Adam's apple? (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Posted by: hodie | April 16, 2009 1:45 PM | Report abuse


"Didn't Nicolas Cage actually marry one?"

Yes, I think a sushi waitress. In photos she looks young enough to be his child.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 16, 2009 1:10 PM
-------------------------------------------
I guess that this is an instance in which Nicholas Cage wanted to have his tuna taco and eat it, too.


Speaking of exotic food, I was sorely disappointed to find out that Bear Grylls refrained from killing and eating will Werrell in their Swedish expedition. I could totally get into watching Bear Grylls eat Will Ferrell's eyeball.
Hmmmmm....I hear the Michael Vick might be available. I wonder how Bear feels about eating chocolate.
-----------------------------------------

Ding-dong-ditch, huh? You guys think that's funny, dontcha? I can go along with the ding-dong, but those flaming bags of dog crap have GOT to go!

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 16, 2009 3:22 PM | Report abuse

Matt Damon also married a cocktail waitress, I believe. So maybe Seacrest isn't in such horrible company. (Can't speak for the waitress, however.)

Posted by: northgs | April 16, 2009 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Oooooh, good call on the tetradecamom! Mad at myself for not thinking of it--am a big Doctor Who fan and a favorite episode deals with the Globe Theater, which was not a globe but a tetradecacon!

Californian, I always admired the CCV expression and agree that it has such a nicer ring to it than the more accurate Clown Car Uterus version.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | April 16, 2009 4:21 PM | Report abuse

If she trademarks Octomom can we just trademark Octob*tch and start calling her that?

Posted by: jes11 | April 16, 2009 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Well played, jes.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | April 16, 2009 4:55 PM | Report abuse

jes
Octob*tch

Would that make her kids an Octobatch?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 16, 2009 4:59 PM | Report abuse

That would be the octuplets, not the first 6.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 16, 2009 5:02 PM | Report abuse

What's almost as skeevy as OctoMom? Octomom (case sensitive):

"...Super Happy Fun Fun Inc., a Texas-based game developer [] filed a trademark notice for "Octomom" (without a capital "M") in March. The company wants to use the name in games for the iPhone and "other technology," although legal concerns have apparently left Apple hesitant to give the game official approval. As a result, it's currently available under the name Fertile Myrtle.

"'Press down on Fertile Myrtle's swollen belly, and another adorable bundle of joy will be brought into the world,' the game's website says. 'The babies must be caught by Fertile Myrtle's mother. Hold down on Fertile Myrtle's belly to charge, which shoots babies out faster and increases your chances of delivering twins!' Each baby successfully born brings in welfare money which lets Myrtle buy fertility shots to have more babies, while babies born with the paparazzi in the room bring cash bonuses..."
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/91013-Octomom-Game-Dev-Vie-for-Octomom-Trademark

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 16, 2009 5:15 PM | Report abuse

Just read the Chat. We so totally need to start our own Celebritology Lawyer Think Tankeroo (yes that is the official name). We do a press release with legal analysis of all celebrity related legal issues. Gotta pay for that Island somehow.

Posted by: epjd | April 16, 2009 5:42 PM | Report abuse

Hey ep, let me join the chorus of welcome back, we missed your snark.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | April 16, 2009 5:53 PM | Report abuse

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