Brooke Hogan Wings Her Way Back into Pop
We knew Brooke Hogan -- the prematurely-aged-by-tanning celebu-spawn of one-time professional wrestler and reality show star Hulk Hogan -- had bad taste. I mean, would anyone possessed of even a smidge of common sense wear this?
So it's not surprising that Hogan thought an airbrushed van art version of herself rocking a set of wings that would make a unicorn cry with envy would be just the thing for the cover of her new album, "The Redemption." Warning: Not even queen of '70s album cover art Stevie Nicks achieved this level of mystical idealization of self.
(Screengrab from Brookesworld.com)
Unless you're a fan of reality TV stars turned recording artists, you may not know that Hogan released her first album, "Undiscovered," in 2006. And despite pushing Brooke-the-pop-star hard on "Hogan Knows Best," the album's biggest single, "About Us," never made it above the 33rd spot on Billboard's Hot 100.
Maybe Brooke will have better luck with her new offerings. Songs include "Falling" (the video for the first single features a bikini-clad Hogan "singing" on a beach towel), the tantalizingly titled "Dear Mommy" (which I can only hope is about cougary Linda Hogan), "Rough Me Up" (obviously her Lilith Fair bait) and the simply titled "Strip," which I can only assume is a detailed plan B in the event the singing thing doesn't work out.
Want more Brooke? Her own reality show, "Brooke Knows Best," starts it second season run on June 7.
By
Liz Kelly
| May 27, 2009; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:
Celebrities, Reality Check
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Posted by: StuckatWork | May 27, 2009 10:56 AM | Report abuse
Queen Liz
And despite pushing Brooke-the-pop-star hard on "Hogan Knows Best," the album's biggest single, "About Us," never made it above the 33rd spot on Billboard's Hot 100.
I misread the single's title as "Abort Us," for which even the strictest pro-lifer might be tempted to make this one exception.
Methinks Brooke aspires to resemble Donatella Versace when she grows up. Owe the humanity!
Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 27, 2009 11:11 AM | Report abuse
I'm sorry. I already spent my $5 allowance on downloading singles off the new Scarlett Johanssen album.
Luv to you all,
Jon G.
Posted by: mdreader01 | May 27, 2009 11:21 AM | Report abuse
Not Stevie Nicks, Liz. Dan Fogelberg:
http://www.amazon.com/Captured-Angel-Dan-Fogelberg/dp/B0012GMZB8
Quick, get the cuffs on Brooke before she decides to record anything else.
Posted by: td_in_baltimore | May 27, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse
Look at the faces in the crowd in the picture of the underwear-jeans. There is one person enjoying her self, but everyone else looks seriously pained to be there.
Posted by: mdem929 | May 27, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse
"I misread the single's title as "Abort Us," for which even the strictest pro-lifer might be tempted to make this one exception."
...And there went my soda all over my screen. Thanks, Nosy!
Posted by: ASinMoCo | May 27, 2009 11:57 AM | Report abuse
so back in the day it was:
"we keep getting richer but we can't get our picture on the cover of the rolling stone"
then it was:
"that ain't work that's the way you do it, play the gi-tar on the mtv....money for nothing and the chicks for free."
how come nobody's come up with a suitable song for the "i reproduce like a rabbit/we made a sex tape/my mom married bruce jenner" reality tv mentality?
Posted by: memphis1 | May 27, 2009 12:24 PM | Report abuse
how come nobody's come up with a suitable song for the "i reproduce like a rabbit/we made a sex tape/my mom married bruce jenner" reality tv mentality?
Posted by: memphis1
Sounds like you just did!
Posted by: wadejg | May 27, 2009 12:27 PM | Report abuse
Memphis1, I think Lily Allen came close to penning that song you're thinking about...
"The Fear"
Life`s about film stars and less about mothers
It`s all about fast cars and passing each other
But it doesn`t matter cause I`m packing plastic
and that`s what makes my life so f***ing fantastic
And I am a weapon of massive consumption
and its not my fault it`s how I`m program to function
I`ll look at the sun and I`ll look in the mirror
I`m on the right track yeah I`m on to a winner
I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore
I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
`Cuz I`m being taken over by The Fear
Posted by: mdreader01 | May 27, 2009 12:32 PM | Report abuse
how come nobody's come up with a suitable song for the "i reproduce like a rabbit/we made a sex tape/my mom married bruce jenner" reality tv mentality?
Posted by: memphis1 | May 27, 2009 12:24 PM
"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment / You own it, you better never let it go / You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow / This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo"
--Marshall Mathers
Posted by: northgs | May 27, 2009 12:34 PM | Report abuse
All I know is that I'd probably hit on her after I'd had five or six beers, but there's not enough beer on earth to make me listen to that album all the way through.
Posted by: byoolin1 | May 27, 2009 12:41 PM | Report abuse
Can we PLEASE add "Worst Blond on a Beach Music Video" as a category for this year's Celebritology awards? I wanna see a face off between Brooke and Heincer. Please please, pleeeaasseee?
Posted by: ishkabibbleA | May 27, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse
The underwear jeans picture made me throw up a little in my mouth.
The 'van art' picture made me lmao.
Respect the van, man!
Posted by: onlytheshadowknows1 | May 27, 2009 1:20 PM | Report abuse
Everytime I see "van art" I think of "Barracuda" by Heart b/c of the commercial where all the characters on the van are animated.
Posted by: hodie | May 27, 2009 1:25 PM | Report abuse
And in related "ewww!" news, Amy Winehouse is reportedly going to be releasing a fashion line! Yay, now we can all have filthy ballet slippers and cut-off jean shorts!
Posted by: VaLGaL | May 27, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse
And in related "ewww!" news, Amy Winehouse is reportedly going to be releasing a fashion line! Yay, now we can all have filthy ballet slippers and cut-off jean shorts!
Posted by: VaLGaL | May 27, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse
Maybe it will be a wig line. I was just wondering where I could get a ratty beehive wig that could double as a purse.
Posted by: hodie | May 27, 2009 2:28 PM | Report abuse
"Maybe it will be a wig line. I was just wondering where I could get a ratty beehive wig that could double as a purse."
Not only a purse, hodie, it could also double as a dog purse, and you wouldn't even have to take it off your head. Just let the little guy burrow in and get comfy.
Posted by: memphis1 | May 27, 2009 3:23 PM | Report abuse
Maybe it will be a wig line. I was just wondering where I could get a ratty beehive wig that could double as a purse.
Posted by: hodie | May 27, 2009 2:28 PM
How about a beehive with a door in the back like the one Deborah Harry wore in the first (and best) "Hairspray"?
Posted by: mdreader01 | May 27, 2009 3:28 PM | Report abuse
Is she Jesus? With healing vapors coming off her armpits?
Posted by: possum_pouch | May 27, 2009 4:52 PM | Report abuse
The comments to this entry are closed.
Is she singing about falling in love with her dad? Cause it sure looked like that in the video.
Also, I kept waiting for a cameo by Spencer Pratt.