Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
Posted at 7:30 AM ET, 05/28/2009

Chris Brown Says He's Not a Monster

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Chris Brown says he's "not a monster"... Photographer suing Brown for alleged assault and battery... Adam Lambert says we should "keep speculating" about his sexuality... President Obama hits Hollywood for DNC fundraisers... "Slumdog" filmmakers buy apartment for homeless child star... Jenny Garth talks about leaky heart valve... "ER's" Parminder Nagra welcomes baby boy... Elizabeth Taylor released from hospital... Elvis's pill bottles up for auction... American Express sues Courtney Love for $350,000 in unpaid charges.

Pix: Drew Barrymore again snapped with mystery man... Melissa Joan Hart's People bikini cover... Winona Ryder British Elle cover... Tori Spelling, bikini, sandwich...

Video: Rihanna stars in new Kanye West video...

More: Britney Spears's spoof perfume ad.

Rumor Mill: Hugh Jackman an Daniel Craig headed to Broadway together... Celebs -- including Paris Hilton, Richard Gere and Sharon Stone -- paid up to $1.5 million to attend Turkish hotel opening... Jessica Simpson pitching new reality show... TLC passes on Jennifer Lopez reality show... T.R. Knight leaving "Grey's Anatomy"?... Mackenzie Phillips joining cast of "Celebrity Rehab" as "sober coach"... Suri Cruise will only eat with chopsticks... "Real Housewife of New Jersey" Danielle Staub's colorful past exposed.

Say What?
"[I'd be] one of those little lapdogs that gets petted all day. You know, they wake up, get fed, get attention. I like attention. I'd like to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?" -- Miley Cyrus boyfriend Justin Gaston describes his ideal life.

Chat Day: Join me today at 2 p.m. ET for this week's Celebritology Live, the gossiping-est 60 minutes of your day.

By Liz Kelly  | May 28, 2009; 7:30 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Brooke Hogan Wings Her Way Back into Pop
Next: Scuttling Jon and Kate Gosselin's Mom and Pop Business

Comments

"Hugh Jackman an Daniel Craig headed to Broadway together..."

Yum and yum. I'm gonna FIND the money for this must see event.

From the Comments section to the article:

"KittyKat wrote:
The play isn't any more harsh than what we see on primetime television. Furthermore it doesn't really matter. Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig together on stage could read the latest version of the tax code for ninety minutes and the show would sell out at top ticket price"

Posted by: jezebel3 | May 28, 2009 8:51 AM | Report abuse

Has Mackenzie Phillips now been clean and sober longer than she was drugged out?

Mr. Gaston seems to be well on his way to realizing his goal. Maybe after Miley dumps him he can study at the Kato Kaelin Professional House Guest School.

Posted by: reddragon1 | May 28, 2009 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Bummer about the JLo reality show; I'd hoped they'd call it, "Being Marc Anthony."

Sharon Stone and Richard Gere together in Turkey? Was "Intersection" just released there or something?

I am glad Winona Ryder is still getting work, but I hope they took inventory after the film shoot just in case anything went missing.

Daniel Craig starring with Hugh Jackman on Broadway? Just tell me that James Bond is not doing a musical.

I was going to make a "bend it like" joke about Parminder Negra's delivery but decided against it. (OK, I had nothing.)

And why is Mackenzie Phillips the "sober" one? Griffin O'Neal still in jail?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | May 28, 2009 8:58 AM | Report abuse

Liz
"[I'd be] one of those little lapdogs that gets petted all day. You know, they wake up, get fed, get attention. I like attention. I'd like to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?" -- Miley Cyrus boyfriend Justin Gaston describes his ideal life.

Not a bad life on the whole, although Gaston might be well-advised to steer clear of Bob "Have your pets spayed or neutered" Barker.


TLC passes on Jennifer Lopez reality show.

Guess a white-out wouldn't be good video.


What, td, you don't think a James Bond novel would make a good Broadway (or film) musical?


Has Mackenzie Phillips now been clean and sober longer than she was drugged out?

Considering the example and bad influence her late father (Papa John) set, it's practically a miracle that she's even survived, let alone gotten clean and sober again. BTW, getting clean and sober can take numerous tries (not being funny here).


Best wishes to Jenny Garth: We have a friend who had a leaky heart valve successfully replaced 20 years ago and is still thriving. Also on the medical front, early weekly shout-outs to The Swayze and Farrah.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:16 AM | Report abuse

Chris Brown says he's "not a monster"... Photographer suing Brown for alleged assault and battery

Nice juxtaposition, Liz!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Adam Lambert's comment has me wondering why nobody ever seems to spend any time speculating whether someone's straight.


"Elvis's pill bottles up for auction." Surely the prescriptions have expired by now.


Jessica Simpson's new reality show: she goes around the country doing a karaoke shtick, drawing stunned looks from the audience. She got the idea while touring her last album.


T.R. Knight leaving "Grey's Anatomy"? Too bad he wasn't more of a jerk on set - I could have re-used my Katherine Heigl "fluffer" joke from the other day.


Justin Gaston, saying that you'd like to be one of those little dogs wasn't weird, but that additional detail about being able to lick your own genitals was.

Posted by: byoolin1 | May 28, 2009 9:20 AM | Report abuse

"Hugh Jackman an Daniel Craig"?

Is it really that hard to proof your work?

Stop getting tattoos and worrying about pleated pants and get a basic grasp of grammar and spelling, especially when this column displays no original work or thought? It'd be a nice chanmge of pace, no?

Posted by: thinman1 | May 28, 2009 9:24 AM | Report abuse

KARNAK THE MAGNIFICENT [tears open an envelope and reads]: Tori Spelling, bikini, sandwich.

ED MCMAHON: Tori Spelling, bikini, sandwich.

KARNAK THE MAGNIFICENT [stares at ED]: Name something less appealing than Tori Spelling's acting.

ED MCMAHON: Hey-o!

Posted by: byoolin1 | May 28, 2009 9:25 AM | Report abuse

byoolin
why nobody ever seems to spend any time speculating whether someone's straight.

This was actually a story-line in an episode of "Ugly Betty," where it turned out that outrageous fashion cable-channel reporter Suzuki St. Pierre was actually a closeted straight man living in a NJ suburb with a (female) wife, two kids, a lawn and a mortgage.


Re dog licking self, couldn't Gaston just reread the limerick about the man from Nantucket?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:27 AM | Report abuse

"It'd be a nice chanmge of pace, no?"

Posted by: thinman1 | May 28, 2009 9:24 AM

****

Yo, thinforbrains: Is it really that hard to proof your work?

Posted by: byoolin1 | May 28, 2009 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Sorry 'bout those two uses of "actually" in same sentence. Need more caffeination, stat.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Hey, byoo, how 'bout your Pens? Do they stand a chance 'gainst the Wings this year?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Nosy - ixnay on the Enspay: The Lovely Mrs. byoolin is a Wings fan. I dasn't dare cheer openly...

Posted by: byoolin1 | May 28, 2009 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Memo to Tori: Check out that Melissa Joan Hart photo. If you are going to be skinny, you need smaller "shoes." Looks more natural, and, dare I say it, youthful.

Posted by: 44west | May 28, 2009 9:38 AM | Report abuse

byoolin
Yo, thinforbrains: Is it really that hard to proof your work?

byoo, I suspect thinman was being ironic here.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:39 AM | Report abuse

byoo, are the Wings the new Habs?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:41 AM | Report abuse

44west, I think you've struck a major chord here, possibly material for one of Liz's Friday reader lists. It seems as though nowadays certain artificially enhanced features are regarded as the criteria for beauty, e.g., that line at the top of a pair of embiggened "shoes," collagen-plumped lips, botoxed faces, sandpapered foreheads, spray-tanned complexions, etc., to the point that a naturally beautiful person is no longer considered beautiful enough. Along similar lines, I saw on TV last night re some soap actor getting a "6-pack" painted onto his abs for definition in a bare-chested scene. Owe the humanity!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

I don't think Prince's hair is very flattering on Rihanna.

Posted by: supersonic1 | May 28, 2009 10:05 AM | Report abuse

I don't know, Nosy. I tend to think (or at least hope) that most people still react to all the silicone-embiggening, collagen-plumping, botox-shooting madness with an eye roll (and perhaps an "ick nast"), rather than adjusting their standards for beauty to the point where they demand that mess. I mean, shoot, whenever I see fake features on a celeb, I just feel a little sorry for her for feeling so inadequate as she is.

Also, I find that most of the people who get those procedures done end up looking like science experiments anyway. And that is not hot.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | May 28, 2009 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Adam Lambert -- I'm not speculating, I don't care. There's a difference.

Looks like Miley Cyrus is getting closer to Britney territory all the time. She now has the golddigging boyfriend.

Sharon Stone, Richard Gere pay to go to something? I thought celebs got paid to show up. Or is that a sign you are no longer a celebrity.

Chris Brown, your actions are certainly monstrous -- including blaming the papps for the Rihanna beating. I didn't see any camera lens marks on her body. Or was one of those pap guys holding your hands and making you hit her? Man up and take responsibility for your actions. Now go away until you do so.

Posted by: epjd | May 28, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Chris Brown says he's not a monster and has a knuckle-sandwhich for anyone who says he is.

What Jenny Garth is describing most likely Mitral Valve Prolapse. A very common and MINOR, most often harmless condition. Everyone and their brother has it. My sisters and I all have it and it was seen on ultrasound when I was pregnant with my son. May occasionally cause palpitations or minor chest pains. In perhaps 1 in 1000 will it progress to something worse. Jenny is looking for sympathy. She has it from me for her child who has Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis which IS a serious and painful disease. Jenny, stop worrying about yourself and take care of that child.

jez, I'm with you on the broadway show. Celebritology outing anyone?

I think I may rename my dogs who constantly fight for attention, Miley and Justin.

Extra bacon on those club sandwhiches, Tori needs help distributing the weight so she doesn't go over in the next big wind.

Supersonic, before I read the caption on the rhianna pic, I couldn't tell who it was because the videoplayer arrow was over the face. I had thought initially it was Prince!

Posted by: hodie | May 28, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

byoolin1,
Do you understand the concept of irony? That my typo was done on purpose?

I guess when one spends their days focused on the vapid lives of celebrities it reveals the vapidness of one's own life.

That this derivative column of no real news value exists is one affront. But the fact that you people then endlessly dicusss it is even more pathetic.

Posted by: thinman1 | May 28, 2009 10:58 AM | Report abuse

That this derivative column of no real news value exists is one affront. But the fact that you people then endlessly dicusss it is even more pathetic.
------------------------------------------
Dude--it's a blog. Lighten up or take a hike. Do not dis The Liz.

Posted by: beaker1 | May 28, 2009 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Top ten reasons TLC passed on JLo's reality show:

10. JLo is of normal height.

9. Despite all appearances Marc Anthony does not have a disease that ages him prematurely.

8. Neither JLo or Marc Anthony or their kids are morbidly obese.

7. Neither JLo nor Marc Anthony have been murdered.

6. They refused to "Trade Spaces" with Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.

5. Her tattoo pen drawings were atrocious.

4. Marc Anthony's apprenticeship at Orange County Choppers didn't work out so well.

3. JLo already knows what not to wear.

2. Pimping out low-riders is so last millenium.

1. JLo and Marc Anthony do not have enough kids.

Posted by: mdreader01 | May 28, 2009 11:09 AM | Report abuse

So vapid - and yet thinman is drawn back not once but twice to comment.

PS there is nothing ironic (I hate when people misuse that word) about your misspelling, you're trying to cover your bacon over the fact that you made the same mistake you were whining about.

"There is some argument about what qualifies as ironic, but all senses of irony revolve around the perceived notion of an incongruity between what is said and what is meant, or between an understanding or expectation of a reality and what actually happens."

So if we are vapid, does misusing the word ironic make you pretentious or just unintelligent and trying too hard.

No one is holding you hostage here, if you don't enjoy it, we'll be fine without your presense.

Posted by: LTL1 | May 28, 2009 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Yo thinman, carm down!

Our virtual friend byoolin normally recognizes irony when he sees it, so perhaps was just insufficiently caffeinated at the moment he read your post.

Re this being a "derivative" column: I prefer to think of Liz as an "aggregator" who spares me the agony of surfing through countless online articles of no particular interest in order to get to the meatiest chunks (because, truthfully, I haven't the time or energy to be bothered, although they ARE a guilty pleasure). After plating them, Liz then delicately sauces them with rich, creamy snark (yummmm!). Extending the metaphor, commentaries by Celebritology Lizards are akin to online posts by amateur restaurant critics.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 11:16 AM | Report abuse

*sigh*
the 9 a.m. troll was 24 minutes late. Again.

It's so hard to get good trolls these days.

Posted by: memphis1 | May 28, 2009 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Because it's almost lunch time, I will throw the troll a bone.

The only thing remotely ironic in that 9:24 is that there's a fathead calling himself "thinman."

(I am reminded of something published by the gang at the old BBC series, "Not The Nine O'Clock News." A recurring feature in their Not 1983 desk calendar was The Sayings Of Mboto Kadogo, a.k.a. The Old Wise Man. One of those sayings was, "People who live in glass houses should not screw on the living room carpet.")

Posted by: byoolin1 | May 28, 2009 11:38 AM | Report abuse

*sigh*
the 9 a.m. troll was 24 minutes late. Again.

It's so hard to get good trolls these days.

Posted by: memphis1 | May 28, 2009 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I have an idea for the trolls and it seems to be all the rage these days. Lets lay them all off and enjoy a more pleasant blog space. Once they've been laid off they will lose their homes and can go back to living under bridges.

Posted by: jes11 | May 28, 2009 11:40 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, I consider Liz my enabler, but she's very good at it.

Posted by: pras40 | May 28, 2009 12:12 PM | Report abuse

I have a chuckle every morning at work, thanks to Celebritology. I recently had to change the password for one of my systems at work. It's now: klown08vag

Posted by: bobsewell | May 28, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Yes, I thought we agreed no vigilante Spelling/Grammar Police allowed on Lizard Island. Come get your pink slip, thinman.

Posted by: hodie | May 28, 2009 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Eating one sandwich for the cameras confirms not suffering from an eating disorder? Um, hello. Look at her arms and protruding ribs underneath the basketballs she has bolted to her chest. One sammich ain't gonna do it.

That photo of Liz Taylor is rather alarming. She looks like that guy Liza Minnelli was married to.

I believe Crazy Brown's exact words were, "I ain't no monster." Nice.

"It's the only way [Katie] can get her to eat!" Hmmm. Has Suri been hanging around Katie's friend Posh Spice?

Posted by: Californian11 | May 28, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

SPLOOT! Well-played, bobsewell a/k/a klown08vag

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | May 28, 2009 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Not to get all Disney on you...but...

No one's sits like Gaston
Licks his pits like Gaston
No one else could eat Kibbles and Bits like Gaston!

Posted by: mdreader01 | May 28, 2009 1:26 PM | Report abuse

As a lapdog, he'd be quite ingratiating...

Posted by: mdreader01 | May 28, 2009 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Fun chat today. Incidentally, I would bet money that Pattinson's abs are the real deal--my niece watched Twilight half a dozen times including the commentary and apparently Patts was complaining to Hardwicke that they were supposed to CGI some fantastic abs and pecs onto his torso when he revealed himself to Bella (I guess because in the books he's described as practically a god in the bod department--anyone here actually read those things?) and Hardwicke said "I know, but it didn't work" or something like that. Considering the incredibly buff wolf pack pics that are out, he really couldn't get away with being a romantic lead without measuring up to the rest of the boys this time around.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | May 28, 2009 3:17 PM | Report abuse

late comment from the southwest: chris brown isn't a monster, he's a toad.

Posted by: frieda406 | May 29, 2009 1:35 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2011 The Washington Post Company