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Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 05/11/2009

Getting Game at the Correspondents' Dinner

By Liz Kelly

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore -- sadly, not my newest Twitter pals. (AP)

It was great idea that never got off the ground.

Saturday night, Jen Chaney and I schlepped down to the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner to rub shoulders with celebs and find out what it would be like to be in a mosh pit with Newt Gingrich, Al Sharpton, John McLaughlin and the rest of the non-glam types that turned up to gawk at said celebs.

Hoping to childishly entertain ourselves at what can be a gruelingly (and droolingly) long event, we decided to make things more interesting by crafting lists -- which we traded -- of semi-humiliating tasks for each other to accomplish involving specific celebrities.

Unfortunately we were sidetracked by, ummm, doing our actual jobs and the lists were summarily forgotten until the end of the night. I reprint them here today in an attempt to illustrate the depths of our deviancy:

See the lists after the jump...

Liz's Must-Do List for Jen

1

Thumb war with the celebrity of your choice. To avoid any celebrity concerns about touching an icky, potentially swine-flu carrying journalist, provide him/her with the attached latex glove and anti-bacterial wet wipe.

2

Since you're ga-ga over him, act like a real fan and get Jason Bateman to sign your forearm.

3

Get the notoriously sullen John Cusack to smile winningly and say "I love me some White House correspondents!"

4

Engage Justin Long in a serious interview about his serious acting career. Be very complimentary. After you've gained his trust, get him to admit he sometimes uses a PC.

5

Encourage any reality show contestants present to run for office.

6

Ask George Lucas to do his best Darth Vadar impression. If he refuses, smile curtly at him and make the "L" for Loser sign on your forehead.

7

Feigning utter seriousness, ask Kevin Bacon what fields of study his six degrees are in. After he explains that you're an idiot and you say you understand, follow up by asking if he's ever considered launching his own line of Bacon bacon.

8

Ask Brad Hall if he ever wishes the whole "sniglet" (Rich Hall) thing had been his idea.

9

Get Val Kilmer to sing "Light My Fire." (at least the chorus). Failing Val's cooperation, do same with Matthew Modine.

10

Approach John McLaughlin and say, "Mr. Trump, do you have any time for a brief interview with the Washington Post?"

----

Jen's Must-Do List for Liz

1

Convince Ashton Kutcher to follow you on Twitter and/or to Tweet about your red carpet conversation.

2

Without flat out asking him to say it, somehow convince Tom Cruise to utter the phrase "You complete me." (Extra credit if you also get him to say "You can't handle the truth.")

3

Make a celebrity use the term "bromance" without actually using it first yourself.

4

Fist-bump at least five high-profile dinner attendees.

5

Persuade Jon Hamm to refer to himself in the third person. (As in, "Jon Hamm is having a fantastic time tonight.") Extra credit if he refers to himself as Don Draper in the third person.

6

While George Lucas is having a drink, sidle up to him and say, "Man, the vibe in here reminds me a lot of the Mos Eisley Cantina. Don’t you agree?"

7

Get at least three people who have previously appeared on People's Most Beautiful and/or Sexiest Man Alive lists to kiss you on the cheek.

8

Discuss the effectiveness of Obama's first 100-plus days in office with a cast member from "Gossip Girl."

9

Challenge someone from the "Today" show to a duel.

10

Ask Ben Affleck to do his Keith Olbermann impression.

By Liz Kelly  | May 11, 2009; 10:45 AM ET
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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Comments

If any of those had happened, it would have been AWESOME!

Posted by: yellojkt | May 11, 2009 11:06 AM | Report abuse

And every time you score a point, you have to shout "Baba Booey!"

Posted by: yellojkt | May 11, 2009 11:22 AM | Report abuse

I must say Jen's list for Liz was the more difficult list.

Posted by: hodie | May 11, 2009 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Just wondering if any of these listed items were actually attempted.

Posted by: pras40 | May 11, 2009 11:34 AM | Report abuse

I think Bateman actually would have signed something of Jen's.

Affleck might have done Olbermann. Seems like he's a good sport.

The rest seem highly unlikely. Doubt more than three celebs would have fist-bumped, but I bet Antonin Scalia would.

Posted by: reddragon1 | May 11, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

You guys are so great.

One question, was the latex glove actually attached? If so, did you walk around with it all night or what?

Posted by: epjd | May 11, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

So what was that very odd tweet from Celebritology that evening? Was it a secret coded message or were you fighting with Ashton Kutcher over your PDA?

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | May 11, 2009 12:24 PM | Report abuse

"Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore"

Yikes! Demi Moore looks like a truck driver in drag. Does Ashton have bolts in the side of his face?

Posted by: jezebel3 | May 11, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Just knowing I was in the same room as John Cusack AND Jon Hamm would be enough for me...**lesigh**..though I do admit to hoping someone asked Affleck to do his Olbermann.

Posted by: wadejg | May 11, 2009 12:57 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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