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Posted at 11:43 AM ET, 06/ 3/2009

Count Me Out of 'I'm a Celebrity,' Too

By Liz Kelly

Update: A rep for Speidi says the couple is still in Costa Rica and still in competition and that Spencer's buddy and sister were the people under blankets at LAX (Why?). Whatever. I'm still not watching. -- 2:01 p.m. ET

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As a woman who freely admits to watching the trashtastic "Daisy of Love" and "Real Housewives of [insert any city here]," my reality viewing standards are what my father would describe as "high mediocre."

But even I have limits. If you haven't already been watching NBC's month-long daily dose of reality, "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here," don't start now.

Clue: A show is obviously flailing when the biggest star power it can draw is Speidi -- aka Heidi Montag Pratt and her doofily villainous new husband Spencer Pratt, stars courtesy of another reality show (MTV's "The Hills"). Apparently realizing that neither the waxen-faced Janice Dickinson nor a pitiful Lou Diamond Phillips had much to add in the way of compelling watching, producers spent the first three hours of the "competition" focused mainly on the drama of whether Speidi would stay or go.

They went and according to a report from The Post's own Steve Goff were spotted at a Costa Rican resort before returning to Los Angeles covered with a black sheet in the dead of the night as onlookers yelled "quitters" in their general direction.

And even as they made it clear that they'd be amenable to a third return to the set (they'd already quit twice), producers jetted in replacements in the form of Daniel Baldwin -- who joins already in contention bro Stephen -- and Holly Montag. And, unfortunately, I can't muster the enthusiasm to tune in every excruciating evening for the next month to find out whether "Idol" flash-in-the-pan Sanjaya and the sassy "Frangela" go "Lord of the Flies."

If anything, the show proved that without the soft focus lens and scripted reality of "The Hills," Speidi don't have much to offer beyond pouts (her) and delusional chest-thumping (him, see clips below). Yes, we already knew this but, hey, I'm looking for something redemptive here.

Heidi cries:

Spencer rages:

More:
-- Variety's Review
-- Spencer's "I'm a Celebrity" rap video

By Liz Kelly  | June 3, 2009; 11:43 AM ET
Categories:  Insta-Polls, Reality Check  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Susan Boyle Not Exploited, Says Reality Show Judge; Paris Hilton Searches for New BFF in Dubai
Next: Video: Joe Jonas, Single Lady?

Comments

I have never watched the Hills so I had no idea who Heidi and Spencer were before this horrible show.
Now my only question is, "Does Heidi have some type of mental disorder or OCD? She is constantly using hair spray and brushing her hair - I mean constantly! I am serious, I think she has some type of mental problem that needs to be checked out. Maybe a Psychologist or Psychiatrist can weigh in on this.

Posted by: Iowahoosier | June 3, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Wow. Looking at the list of "celebrities" makes me realize that I've had bowel movements I'd sooner rescue from the jungle.

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 3, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

I'm not out on this show yet. I think it will get better now that Heincer are gone.

That said, I am on the exact same page as Iowa here. I've never actually watched "The Hills" - The some total of my knowledge of them stems from clip on "The Soup." Therefore, I always knew she was stupid...but...

After watching that show, I feel kinda...bad? I dunno, I don't just think she's stupid, I think there might be something wrong, like really wrong, with her brain. I would love to hear Dr. Drew's take.

Also, I hate to admit it, but Sanjaya of all people is entertaining the heck out of me on this show. Also, Janice Dickinson looks like she's melting.

Posted by: VTDuffman | June 3, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Wait a minute, I thought one of them failed the psychological exam?

Posted by: zn123 | June 3, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

I wish the poll had an option for "Who cares."

Didn't Lou Diamond Phillips used to be a real actor?

Posted by: CoHe20010 | June 3, 2009 12:11 PM | Report abuse

I wish the poll had an option for "Who cares."

Didn't Lou Diamond Phillips used to be a real actor?

Posted by: CoHe2001

Ditto.

LDP lost his first wife to Melissa Etheridge & then pleaded no contest to domestic battery charges against his last wife.

I'm guessing any man that's gonna beat his girlfriend/wife is gonna come out ahead in this contest.

Posted by: wadejg | June 3, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Didn't Lou Diamond Phillips used to be a real actor?

Posted by: CoHe20010

He is a real actor, you obviously haven't seen his phenomenal work in Route 666 or Carny as "Town Sheriff".

Posted by: zn123 | June 3, 2009 12:24 PM | Report abuse

Lou Diamond Phillips is a real actor. He has a recurring role on Numb3rs as an FBI sharp shooter. Always good from some great lines (except for the dating psycho cop Nikki).

I didn't watch but only read the recaps in various places. Yesterday, without knowing any of that stuff, I said they quit because they weren't the most popular and automatic leaders. I was right. Seriously, what were the producers thinking by casting them? There is train wreck and then there is Heincer.

Posted by: epjd | June 3, 2009 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I know who Heidi & Spencer are because this lovely Celebritology column.
Honestly though, it would have taken them 5 minutes of research to discover what I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! was all about. They seem to think that they would be filmed in a luxury environment. Didn't somebody fill them in? Don't they have some "people" who should tell them these kinds of things?

Posted by: JLRGG | June 3, 2009 12:34 PM | Report abuse

They are not really roughing it. The show is totally fake and Heidi still couldn't handle it. All the producers need to do is give Janice Dickinson a big jug of wine and a flight of stairs to fall down and they'll have plenty of excitement.

Posted by: buffysummers | June 3, 2009 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Who is the target audience for this program?

Posted by: jezebel3 | June 3, 2009 12:59 PM | Report abuse

I am shocked, shocked! that anyone would label an obviously higbrow reality show like "I'm a Celebrity..." (you have to tell us, otherwise we wouldn't know) as "fake."

Lou Diamond Phillips did not used to be a real actor any more than Rod Blago used to be a real governor.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 3, 2009 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Poor Lou Diamond Phillips. Most people know him as 1) that guy who was in "La Bamba" and 2) that guy whose wife left him and is "now" a lesbian.

I haven't seen Numb3rs or anything recently (I think he was also in "Young Guns" or one of those Brat Pack Meets Westerns movies a few years back).

Can you blame him for trying to expand his visibility? It's either this or Celebrity Fit Club, and the last time I saw him he was pretty thin.

Besides, if that guy who was on Howard Stern (whose name is escaping me right now) made the show a few years ago, why not LDP? They are paid for this, right?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 3, 2009 1:33 PM | Report abuse

I have limits, too. I don't watch TV. Haven't had cable since 1985.

Posted by: kabuki3 | June 3, 2009 1:42 PM | Report abuse

"I have limits, too. I don't watch TV. Haven't had cable since 1985."

The Onion - Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own a Television

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

Posted by: VTDuffman | June 3, 2009 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Lou Diamond Phillips is going to be on the Stargate Universe program on the SciFi channel. Not sure when it is going to start.

Posted by: JLRGG | June 3, 2009 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Except that Julie Cypher (the common ex- of Melissa Etheridge and Lou Diamond Phillips) has renounced her gayness, not that there is anything wrong with that.

So whic is more humiliating: Having your wife leave you to become a lesbian or to have her later leave the lesbian she left you for because she isn't really a lesbian?

Posted by: yellojkt | June 3, 2009 1:59 PM | Report abuse

I watched parts of the first show. I did have a good laugh when Spencer referred to Gov. and Mrs. Blago as the Heidi and Spencer of politics (and he meant that as a compliment to her of course). Otherwise, he seems like a major ass and she seems like someone whose emotional/ mental development stopped at age 16.

Posted by: kvs09 | June 3, 2009 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Wow. Looking at the list of "celebrities" makes me realize that I've had bowel movements I'd sooner rescue from the jungle.

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 3, 2009 12:08 PM |

---------------------------------------------
Let Dane Cook and Celine Dion stay in the jungle.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 3, 2009 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Except that Julie Cypher (the common ex- of Melissa Etheridge and Lou Diamond Phillips) has renounced her gayness, not that there is anything wrong with that.

So whic is more humiliating: Having your wife leave you to become a lesbian or to have her later leave the lesbian she left you for because she isn't really a lesbian?

Posted by: yellojkt | June 3, 2009 1:59 PM


-------------------------------------------
Hmmmm..... Does anyone know how to contact Howard Stern?

I have a great idea for a show he could EmCee:

Who Wants To Be A Lesbian?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 3, 2009 2:48 PM | Report abuse

I watched the Monday night show and it was my first time witnessing Heincer/Speidi. I really thought it was trashtastic. I loved it when, after Spencer was a total a**hat to everyone, screaming and yelling, Heidi apologized by way of explaining that he was a "new Christian." Yep, that would explain it (snark).

Posted by: NW_Washington | June 3, 2009 2:52 PM | Report abuse

This show is HORRIBLE! It looks so fake. Are they really in the jungle? Nothing is going on it seems -- they just talk and talk and talk and aren't interesting at all. I feel sorry for NBC. Too bad the network is doing so badly to have this crappy show on several times a week. Come on NBC, you can do better, I HOPE.

I watch reality TV but have never seen the Hills show. That Heide/Spencer couple made me turn the show off completely after ten minutes.

Posted by: shejoy | June 3, 2009 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Sas,

I'd watch "Who Wants to Be a Lesbian." I might get the premium cable channel it would have to come on. So to speak.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 3, 2009 4:12 PM | Report abuse

What were Spencer's buddy and Spencer's sister DOING under those blankets??

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 3, 2009 4:15 PM | Report abuse

I'd watch "Who Wants to Be a Lesbian." I might get the premium cable channel it would have to come on. So to speak.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 3, 2009 4:12 PM
-------------------------------------------
I think you'd probably be more interested in the reality show on the Discovery Channel:

"Deadliest Snatch."

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 3, 2009 4:22 PM | Report abuse

Wait a minute, I thought one of them failed the psychological exam?

Posted by: zn123 | June 3, 2009 12:08 PM |
-----------
Spencer failed the physiological exam because of a low red blood cell count. I don't know why he is there, because if he gets injured, he could bleed out.

But then again, low red cell count means less oxygen gets to the brain...explains a lot.

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 3, 2009 4:41 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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