David Carradine's Death May Have Been Accidental; Susan Boyle Released from Hospital

"We share a soul a brain and a bed!" - the two half-wits were made for each other.

If we learn nothing else from the tawdry details of David Carradine's death, let it be this: apparently one's penis *can* support at least half of one's body weight.

Come on, now, Octo-Mom, don't be like that. Your babies are what, three months old? There's plenty of life-screwing work left to do.

"Denise Richards admits to having three boob jobs." Someone really needs to count those things.

"Whitney Houston's comeback album due this fall." In anticipation, Bobby's already interviewing prospective dealers.

Patrick Swayze's "Beast" canceled. Jaybbub, that's your cue, I believe.

OOOOH! Italics!

TREMBLE, PUNY MORTALS!
Hee hee heem italics.

Think Briney's kids learned those slick dance moves from their dad?

Why, oh why did I watch the Octomom interview? There's 8 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Oops, I meant Britney (it sure is difficult to type with one hand)

Maybe it is just how I am feeling this morning, but I think the David Carradine article is just TWFW (too weird for words), leading to many questions that simply cannot have reasonable explanations. I would wish for him a more dignified end to his life.

I expected the Britney kids' video to be cute -- but it was kinda weird. Where is that place?

"We share a soul a brain and a bed!" -- Demi Moore to husband Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.

Anyone surprised by this?

Denise Richards had three boobs? Wow, you'd think she'd be a lot more popular.

Octo-Mom: "I screwed up my kids' lives. Can we just say, 'DUH'?

Clearly grasshoppa needed a better instructor than Michael Hutchence.

Britney's sons are adorable. I have a soft spot in my heart for little kids doing dance routines because they haven't learned "boys don't do that." In honor of their cuteness, I will suspend Britney related snark for one week.

One disturbing aspect of the Britney kids video is that they seem to be performing for adults at some weird theme park.

Oops, I meant Britney (it sure is difficult to type with one hand)

Posted by: StuckatWork | June 5, 2009 9:00 AM

****

Or untie a knot, sez Carradine.

(Look! The Lindbergh baby!)

Man, this is a sweet morning. Cute little Spederline boys (honestly, how adorable are they?), Ashton and Demi being dumb, AND a shout-out from byoolin. My day is alread complete!

jes - no worries, the boys are just dancing while Mom is rehearsing. For a minute I thought they were performing for some random adults too.

I think I'll skip the Octo-Mom vid but good to know she's aware she's a nut.

Demi and Ashton just keep proving they were meant for each other.

RIP David Carradine - I hope this dies down quickly. We all deserve some dignity in death.

I fear Spendi and Jon/Kate will never go away. Maybe we should send them out in the jungle together.

Heincer and JonKate should have a Trading spaces/Prince and the Pauper-esque reality show where they live each other's lives.

Heincer move to PA and get to care for the 8 Gosselin kids while JonKate move to Beverly Hils and get Lobotomies.

I forgot - AND a Lindbergh baby mention!

I loved Denise Richards' cameo in Total Recall at the mutant saloon.

Not loving the styling on Heidi on the cover of Vogue.

The italics are making me woozy.

Demi and Ashton share a brain -- unfortunately, it is usually on vacation.

The devil did not make Heincer quit the show, it was the overwhelming prayers of thousands who wanted them to quit appearing on tv, magazine covers, etc. Sometimes, you don't always get what you want.

Too bad Octo-Mom didn't have this realization before she had 14 kids.

I actually tuned into that silly show just to see what exactly was a Heincer....WTF?!

But seriously, how boring can you get? A bunch of people sitting around the jungle whining. Then they eat something obnoxious or sit with their heads in a vat full of bugs. Then the next night, it was more of the same.

Why not just put a hidden camera in a daycare? It would be more entertaining.

Vienna
Maybe we should send [Spendi and Jon/Kate] out in the jungle together.

What did the jungle ever do to hurt you? Owe the biodiversity!

"We share a soul a brain and a bed!" -- Demi Moore to husband Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.

Instead of Twitterers, why not just shorten the term to Twits?

byoolin
Or untie a knot, sez Carradine.

I feel such SMAME at laughing over this, but laugh I did.

ep
Demi and Ashton share a brain -- unfortunately, it is usually on vacation.

Ooh, made me think of that Mose Allison lyric, "Your mind is on vacation, but your mouth is workin' overtime" (or, in Mutcher's case, more likely their keyboarding thumbs).

Re David Carradine's manner of death, my initial reaction was to recall a long-ago play title, "Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feeling So Sad." Except Carradine hanged himself so well (although I haven't heard how well he was hung).

Head of NBC reality programming does not like Heincer (according to Access Hollywood)
"They are everything that’s wrong with America. They are insincere, lazy, entitled and they claim the devil has possessed them."

That made my morning. It's possible his statement is just PR, but by Krishna, I hope not.

Byoolin is an evil genius. I am quite busy today but will have to make time to check back to see how far downhill this discussion progresses.

I don't see any italics. How come you guys are seeing italics?

Will Liz volunteer to try WIll Ferrell's line of suntan products? They can't be worse than Lilo's.

If Demi and Ashton share a brain, who determines who gets it on which days. Because it never seems to be Ashton's turn.

When I first heard about Grasshoppa's death by strangulation in a closet, I immediately thought, uh-oh, auto-erotic asphyxiation. And then slapped myself for thinking such a thing. I'm sorry the media thought it was necessary to give us the details that cast away any doubt. At least he died happy, I guess.

Over at the Achenblog, they've been begging for italics for years. Now they're just taunting us.

How do Demi and Ashton decide who gets to use the brain on what day? I'm guessing it wasn't Demi's turn when she said that.

Poor Grasshopper, that plan was just not thought through. At least he died happy?

Thought the headline said Denise Richards had 3 boobs! Suppose that round thing sitting on her shoulders is the 3rd boob.

Bed, Bath and Beyond? Doesn't she like own a hotel chain with really lux bedding? The scratchy sheets from BB&B will not compare! What is she thinking?

I would rather watch Britney's kids dance to her music than watch her.

should have refreshed before posting, yellowjkt and mat00 have beat me to the punch! Gotta get up pretty early in the morning to outwit you folks on snark!

I agree that Ashton is a nut, and most of his twitters make him sound dumb as a box of rocks, BUT, do know he had a full ride scholarship to MIT before he got in trouble in high school and had to settle for the University of Iowa?
Then he took a modeling career and turned that into an acting career that allowed him to start his own production company that has made him a self made millionaire.
So lets recap - 1. Smart enough to get a full ride scholarship to MIT 2. Smart enough to turn modeling into an acting career. 3. Smart enough to start his own production company that has produced several successful shows. 4. Smart enough to marry Demi Moore 5. Smart enough to become a self made millionaire.
Wow, I bet most of you wish you had the one brain Ashton and Demi share.

Liz, I love Celebritology so much, but for the love of God, please stop it with the Jon & Kate stuff. I don't think anyone on earth could possibly care less.

"We share a soul a brain and a bed!"
--But Ashton keeps all the commas to himself.

Heincer say the devil made them quit "I'm a Celebrity".
--Newsweek reports that devil worship in the US is on the rise.

Denise Richards went in for a breast reduction and came out a cup size larger.
--Americans everywhere grateful that Richards never considered in-vitro fertilization.

Lindsay Lohan pawns jewelery to make some cash.
--Celebritologists suggest she accept only cash from Paris Hilton.

6) smart enough to know better yet still provides waaaaaaay TMI on twitter.

Booksmart, street stupid.

Nosy Parker, you had to bring up one of the strangest stage plays of all time and a slightly better movie, thanks to the appearence of Johnathan Winters as the ghost of Dad.

Liz--More Jon and Kate please...

Wait

that's not possible

Delurking to give love and strength to Patrick Swayze (and Farrah Fawcett and Dave Gahan).

>>Patrick Swayze's "Beast" canceled>"There's no way it was going to happen without Patrick," says the source.<< That, coupled with pictures I was bombarded with at the checkout the other day, does not bode well. :(

Can it be at least partially true that David Carradine's death was brought on by a nut job?

If so, that's noose to me!

Oh, look! The Lindbergh baby is dancing to a Britney Spears tune!

Oh, good. Demi and Ashton have found yet another way to exploit Susan Boyle.

For god's sake, the woman needs the comfort of her home and routine and people she knows to help balance all the chaos in her life, and these two nitwits want to fly her to another continent and subject her to the curious stares and fawning of other American "celebrities."

Let the poor woman alone. She will be able to have a terrific recording career without leaving the UK. And, even if she does travel internationally, it should be because she wants to, not because some rich idiots want to "buy" her for a night.

Perhaps David Carradine was trying out a storyline for a new movie with the working title of "Kill Dick."

Oh, look! The Lindbergh baby has gone commando and is in a limo with Jon, Kate, Britney and Octo-Mom!

Nosy - I suppose you're right. It is cruel to the jungle. J/K's property is pretty big. We could build a dome over it and leave them all inside....with no cameras to film their every move.

"Booksmart, street stupid" - exactly!

Vienna
We could build a dome over it and leave them all inside.

That's called a Biosphere.

kjohnson
She will be able to have a terrific recording career without leaving the UK.

Right you are! It's worked well for Enya in Ireland.

Pookie just posted the following on her live online chat, so maybe there's hope that the show will just. go. away:

Oh yes, "I'm a Celebrity" is clocking a noticeably smaller crowd than the ABC version did years back -- numbers ABC considered too small to merit bringing the show back, BTW. NBC keeps putting out news releases saying the show is doing better than it had recently adveraged in the timeslots. That is called "damning with faint praise."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/06/04/DI2009060402947.html

mdreader
Denise Richards went in for a breast reduction and came out a cup size larger.
--Americans everywhere grateful that Richards never considered in-vitro fertilization.

Don't you mean "Americans everywhere grateful that Richards never went in to get her tubes tied and came out with sextuplets"?

I think what Iowahoosier is trying to say is, what makes Demi smarter makes Ashton dumber.

mat00, Are you postulating a zero-sum intelligence for Mutcher?

One of the weirdest aptonym ironies is Carradine was filming a movie called "Stretch".

Was talking to someone yesterday whose Dad represented him back in the day--turns out he was just as cool for real as he seemed to be. What a bummer.

I'm too late to make all the great three boob, one brain and tetradacamom jokes--you guys rock!

Re Susan Boyle and Demi/Ashton--I'm not so sure I want to jump to the conclusion that Demi and Ashton are exploiting or otherwise being a bad influence. Since Demi went over to "support" Susan during her final, one has to assume they met. Demi is a fan. She is also famous, both her husbands former and present are famous, and consequently they know all the dangers, hassles and pitfalls of fame. Maybe it's a good thing if they build on their friendship. Just a thought.

sorcerer's cat,

I prefer to think that Demi and Ashton "share a soul a brain and a bed" and a love for Susan Boyle.

However, I think they should leave Ms. Boyle out of any further sharing.

Maybe Mutcher are interested in producing a biopic on Susan Boyle.

mat00, Are you postulating a zero-sum intelligence for Mutcher?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 5, 2009 1:36 PM | Report abuse

Yep, they cancel each other out. I always suspected that. At least they are not in negative numbers like Heincer.

Lizzie, dear
Will Ferrell does not have an A in his last name
xoxo

"I screwed up my kids' lives". Nadya Suleman

Finally something we can all agree on.