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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 06/30/2009

Jacko Overload?

By Liz Kelly

I'm Liz and I'm a Jacko-holic.

I'm as wary as the next celebrity news blogger about over-covering the Michael Jackson story, but the crowning of Jacko as the King of Celebrity Deaths (his funeral is expected to dwarf Princess Diana's) and wall-to-wall coverage has slowed our usual diet of celeb news to a trickle. The week after a triumvirate of celeb deaths (let's not forget we lost Farrah and Ed last week, too) even pix of Sarah Jessica Parker's new twins and the latest Jon and Kate update seem ho-hum.

So I'll admit it. The crush of Jackson details (I'm somewhat of a bizarro news aficionado, which will come as no surprise to long-time Celebritology readers who shudder at the memory of the now-retired "Britney Watch" and my abiding taste for stuff like this and this) has distracted me to the point of uselessness for all non-Jacko-related stories.

I've had to tear myself away from Facebook this morning where -- on both my profile and Celebritology fan page -- I've been posting random Jacko-related links. Nothing tribute-y -- just completely useless information like how Corey Feldman is taking the news (he's "trembling") and pictures like this one from the freakishly clever "My Face" group.

The first step is admitting the problem. Now to do something about it.

I pledge to stifle my Jacksonian impulses and, tomorrow, get back to the important business of handicapping Jennifer Aniston's chance for dating success and seeking out crucial pix so you don't have to miss one moment of celebrity doings.

Unless Jacko's funeral really does draw a million fans to L.A. later this week.

By Liz Kelly  | June 30, 2009; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Comment Box, Michael Jackson, Miscellaneous  
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Next: Michael Jackson Will Surfaces; Farrah Fawcett Laid to Rest

Comments

The legal battles alone will provider fodder for columns for years to come.

But, let us not forget all the other interesting celeb info out there. Trust me, Paris will do something skanky again soon.

Posted by: epjd | June 30, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

The legal battles alone will provider fodder for columns for years to come.

But, let us not forget all the other interesting celeb info out there. Trust me, Paris will do something skanky again soon.

Posted by: epjd | June 30, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

My hubby said to me last night (as I hummed Billie Jean) "Michael Jackson is so last week- time to move on". I could not believe my ears. You see, I too, Guest1234, am a Jacko-holic. I breathe breaking news like it's oxygen -even stupid mundane stuff- and you feed my habit. I need help.

Please post more Jon and Kate stuff so I can resume rolling my eyes and not checking in as often.

Posted by: Guest1234 | June 30, 2009 10:56 AM | Report abuse

If nothing else, the MJ coverage is weaning me of my Celebritology fixation. I love the column but I can't take the MJ news any more.

Posted by: pras40 | June 30, 2009 10:57 AM | Report abuse

ep is so right, the legal battles will likely dwarf those following Anna Nicole Smith's sudden and premature drug-induced death, right down to paternity AND maternity tests to determine eligibility for control of the children's estates. Plus, MJ leaves behind a massive body of work for survivors and creditors to wrangle over. ep, maybe you can get a piece of the pie too (since plenty of less reputable lawyers will be, so why not one more reputable?).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 30, 2009 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Michael Jackson died?!?

Posted by: hodie2 | June 30, 2009 11:01 AM | Report abuse

I share your obsession! Today's thought: Healthy people do not have their cardiologist living with them. Actually they don't have a cardiologist, period. So Michael Jackson must had some kind of heart problem before the cardiac arrest episode that killed him.

Plus he was emaciated (British papers said he weighed 100 pounds and his hair had fallen out) and took drugs.

I wonder about his music -- those comeback concerts. Wonder if anybody recorded them during the rehearsals? It's a loss if they didn't.


Posted by: PJinBoston | June 30, 2009 11:03 AM | Report abuse

I meant not only potential paternity testing (like in ANS's case) but also potential maternity testing as well, to determine the children's parentage. Must proofread and rewrite before clicking "Submit."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 30, 2009 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Jacko-holic here too! Guilty. But getting weary just the same.

That is, until you mentioned Princess Diana's funeral. Now I'm hearing new words to Michael Jackson songs (a la "Candle in the Wind" for hers).

BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE
Don't blame it on my drug use!
Don't blame in on my nanny!
Don't blame it on my doctor!
Blame it on my father.

(And just imagine what someone could do with "She's Out of My Life." . . .)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 11:09 AM | Report abuse

His death allowed us to become fans again. I've been listening to MJ since last Thursday, and it's been wonderful - sharing his music with my son, who has never heard of him before. (It's hysterical to see the 4 year old sing and dance to Billie Jean)

I'm becoming obsessed with the news too, after years of shuddering at his looks, behavior, etc.

Posted by: mdem929 | June 30, 2009 11:12 AM | Report abuse

The rehearsals were recorded, and it's said that a DVD is in the works, for what it's worth.

Posted by: JohnDinHouston | June 30, 2009 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Everything happening around Jacko is pretty fascinating; it pulls in a lot of people we know now or knew back in his heyday. And it has the added bonus of pulling in just incredible amounts of craziness and drama. I think you could do an extensive Six Degrees of Separation exercise for Hollywood through Michael Jackson and his lawyers.
Also: Hur hur hur, Karl Urban doing obscene things to a mic. He has a nice Kiwi accent.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 30, 2009 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I share your obsession! Today's thought: Healthy people do not have their cardiologist living with them.

Posted by: PJinBoston | June 30, 2009 11:03 AM
================
If only Jacko's cardiologist had examined Billy Mays instead....

The mind reels.

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I'm waiting for the announcement that MJ's third child was stolen. Who else but MJ could get away with a baby suddenly showing up in his life with no one having ANY IDEA who the mother is, much less the father? Anyone else, the cops would be all over them.
P JinBoston, I read yesterday that the show producers will be putting the rehersal tapes out on CD.
All of the coverage is a bit nauseating in how mesmerizing it is - I am agog.

Posted by: agog1 | June 30, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

They took the pop king to the doctor
And he tried "resus-Citation*."
By the time this hit the street
They reported his expiration.
All these news and rumors
will quash Liz Kelly's humor.
Our fave tabloid consumer
just really wants to be startin' somethin'

Oh, you wanna be startin' somethin'
You've got to be startin' somethin'
You wanna be startin' somethin'
You've got to be startin' somethin'
So you try to read "OK!"
And get news from the UK.
TMZ is your home page
So you ask if we're outraged.

* [see Smooth Criminal lyrics]

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

mdreader01, I bow to you. Brilliant!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Healthy people do not have their cardiologist living with them. Actually they don't have a cardiologist, period. So Michael Jackson must had some kind of heart problem before the cardiac arrest episode that killed him.
-----------------------------------
Bo Schembechler had a cardiologist standing by at every Michigan game. And that man had some serious heart issues.

Sorry for the random UMich-MJ tie-in there.

Posted by: jelo97 | June 30, 2009 11:47 AM | Report abuse

I'm sick and tired of people called Michael Jackson "Jacko". It's sickening! Don't even bother to write about him if you're going to call him that!

Posted by: jwilliams3 | June 30, 2009 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Enough He's Dead ... Yes, let's move on.. The living are the once that have hope, the dead , well it's to later to do anything about them.
Jacko ... when he lived .. About time he was gone .. to hurt no other kid.

Posted by: hgntex | June 30, 2009 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Honestly Liz, you could have a touch more class than the New York Post and stop calling the man Jacko.

Posted by: DEBBEST1 | June 30, 2009 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Whacko
Jacko
Jackoff
Whackoff
Jack Flash
Jack Cheese
Jack $--t
Jack Flash

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 30, 2009 1:20 PM | Report abuse

If anything, I would like even more coverage of Jacko!

Posted by: ideallydc | June 30, 2009 1:34 PM | Report abuse

I work for a newspaper and for the last couple days I've been splitting my time between two things: Explaining to readers why Jackson was important and why we need to cover this story, and explaining to readers that Jackson isn't the only story and there are tons of other things to cover.
I wonder if anyone anywhere thinks their local paper is striking a good balance.

Posted by: otherliz | June 30, 2009 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Lizards,

I don't know where else to turn for an answer.

Please help.

What is the one, old rule I must follow to lose 45 lbs of belly fat by next week?

Your friend,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 1:50 PM | Report abuse

"Jack$--t Crazy" has a nice ring to it, 'squatch.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 30, 2009 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Does anybody know what caused the fallout between Corey Feldman and Michael Jackson? The news outlets keep teasing viewers with some hint of scandal, but then back down faster than Andy Cohen at a Real Housewives reunion show.

Posted by: StuckatWork | June 30, 2009 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon, have you tried a Ginsu knife and a wet/dryvac?

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 30, 2009 2:14 PM | Report abuse

For Pete's sake. Jacksonaholic or EmJayaholic or Mikeaholic or Moonwalkaholic or Thrillerholic or Lisamariessecondhusbandaholic all would sound stupid.

Jackaholic would've prompted Jack who? Nicholson? Either way, someone would've commented, "Why didn't you just go with Jackoholic? It's so obvs."

I'm not a fan of "Jacko" either but Liz was making a point here. Carm down.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Huh, Bawl, hadn't thought of that . . . thanks.

(Is that what those people in the adds do? It is simple, it is old, and it is one rule . . . huh.)

Gratefully yours,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 2:20 PM | Report abuse

While I definitely agree that other stories do need to be covered, it's really a matter of balance. I think it would be ludicrous to draw back from Jackson coverage at this point. A) He hasn't even been dead a week yet and B) given what I've read about the internet traffic for information about him and his death as well as the overnight skyrocketing of sales of his music, it seems to me that PLENTY of people are seeking coverage of this. Michael was by far the most well known entertainer in the world.

On a personal note, I could care less about the Gosselins, Speidi, Jennifer Aniston's latest "boy-toy" or anything Paris Hilton does. I've welcomed a break from that dookie. That stuff is NOT real news - it's a demonstration of the downhill trajectory of entertainment news in general. Michael Jackson's death IS real entertainment news.

Posted by: linz2 | June 30, 2009 2:24 PM | Report abuse

'Mudge, I hear it works, but the side effects will suck the life right out of you. HEY-OOO!

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 30, 2009 2:38 PM | Report abuse

I'm going to side with the "enough of Michael Jackson" crowd. Apparently, he's still dead as of today, and that is unlikely to change.

The public "viewing" is disgusting and undignified, and likely to be a mob scene of chaos and insanity. I'm sorry his family chose not to provide him with some privacy in death, which he never got in life.

That said, I do have this comment on his children - what does it matter who the bio-parents were, if he was the LEGAL parent? If he wasn't the bio-dad of some or all of them, but he did legally adopt them, then why would the bio-parent have any claim now? That don't seem right to this non-lawyer...

Posted by: jaybbub | June 30, 2009 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Lizards,
I don't know where else to turn for an answer.
Please help.
What is the one, old rule I must follow to lose 45 lbs of belly fat by next week?

Your friend,
Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 1:50 PM
======================

Dear Curmudgeon,

Demerol worked for me.

Your friend,

Michael

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Does anybody know what caused the fallout between Corey Feldman and Michael Jackson? The news outlets keep teasing viewers with some hint of scandal, but then back down faster than Andy Cohen at a Real Housewives reunion show.

Posted by: StuckatWork | June 30, 2009 2:10 PM
===============
It bothered me too, until I realized that it was Corey Feldman. Hasn't everyone had a falling out with Corey Feldman?

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 2:42 PM | Report abuse

TD,

Bow to no one. I recomposed that tune for Liz. There's still time to re-write "She's Out of My Life" for Elton John.

Although the other night on CNN, Smokey Robinson seemed pretty keen on singing "Never Can Say Goodbye."

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 2:44 PM | Report abuse

jaybbub, I hear tell that Franco's still dead too.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 30, 2009 2:53 PM | Report abuse

jaybbub, I hear tell that Franco's still dead too.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 30, 2009 2:53 PM

-------------------------------------------
Showin' yer age, Nosy....

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 30, 2009 3:09 PM | Report abuse

If Corey Feldman took enough thyroxin, perhaps he could star in a tribute to Marty Feldman.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 30, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Showin' YER age too, Sas, since you caught the reference ;-)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 30, 2009 3:31 PM | Report abuse

Actually, mdreader01, "She's Out of My Life" has some pretty sucky lyrics to begin with ("cuts like a knife"? puh-leeze). Of course, the trick with any rewrite is not to be too crass ("He's dead! He's dead! Dead, really dead!"). Sadly, I'm envisioning a "We Are the World" cast of thousands singing, "Rock and Roll Heaven."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 3:45 PM | Report abuse

So Liz is Whacko for Jacko.

Is that like being Cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | June 30, 2009 3:48 PM | Report abuse

Joke:

Farrah goes to heaven and St Peter grants her the answer to one prayer because of her decent life.

She prays that God will protect the world's children.

The next day, Michael Jackson dies.

heh, heh

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 4:04 PM | Report abuse

'Mudge, that is awful. Awful and perfect. Bravo, sir.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 30, 2009 4:37 PM | Report abuse

yeah, perfectly awful.

But it's the first one I've heard thus far.

More to come, I'm sure.

Sincerely,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, I've heard the Farrah goes to heaven joke at least 100 times already. Old and honestly stupid. I'd like to see a joke with some actual creativity, not just jumping to the "he likes kids" punchline. I think the coverage is actually about right. I seem to remember the Anna Nicole thing being even more insane. She wasn't anywhere near as famous or infamous as Michael Jackson and cable news became Anna Nicole news after her death. Motions in court were carried live on the air. And of course there was the paternity drama. There are some of those elements here of course, but at least Michael EARNED some fame instead of stripped off his clothes and married the Crypt Keeper for money.

Posted by: lafilleverte | June 30, 2009 4:56 PM | Report abuse

ok, how about this:

Michael Jackson dies and arrives at the pearly gates with victims of the Indian Ocean plane crash.

St Peter says . . .

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 5:05 PM | Report abuse

oooo, oooooo, how about this . . .

St Peter says, "Which one of you is missing a nose?"

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Honestly Liz, you could have a touch more class than the New York Post and stop calling the man Jacko.

Posted by: DEBBEST1

------
------

Deb -- this actually brings up something that's been nagging at me for the past few days. Until Michael died he had pretty much settled into the role of Oddball Object of Derision and we made much fun at his expense.

Are our memories (mine included) that short?

Posted by: Liz_Likes_Celebs_Not_Baseball | June 30, 2009 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Actually, mdreader01, "She's Out of My Life" has some pretty sucky lyrics to begin with ("cuts like a knife"? puh-leeze). Of course, the trick with any rewrite is not to be too crass ("He's dead! He's dead! Dead, really dead!"). Sadly, I'm envisioning a "We Are the World" cast of thousands singing, "Rock and Roll Heaven."


Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 3:45 PM
------------------
And here I sit, hitting my head with my hand (like in the V8 commercial.)

Michael wrote a treacly death song for Ryan White: "Gone Too Soon."

Then again, maybe they could just re-write "Beat It."

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 5:15 PM | Report abuse

... and call it "Bought It."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | June 30, 2009 5:20 PM | Report abuse

. . . and they all raise their hands.

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 5:20 PM | Report abuse

td

nothing like some late afternoon sploot.

Thankee,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | June 30, 2009 5:23 PM | Report abuse

BREAKING JACKO (sorry) PRIMATE NEWS:

Just in case you were wondering, People Magazine went and checked in on Michael's beloved chimp, Bubbles.

Bubbles is alive and well at a Florida animal sanctuary.

Posted by: mdreader01 | June 30, 2009 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Holy Schnikies: Debbie Rowe is not the biological mother of the older too either. Complete lab work, sperm and egg, she just rented out her womb.

Also, but less mindblowing -- there was a Will.

Posted by: epjd | June 30, 2009 7:57 PM | Report abuse

Agree it's irrelevant who the biological parents are. He was their Dad. Hopefully he provided what should happen to them in his will.

Posted by: msame | July 1, 2009 12:38 AM | Report abuse

I think you've answered your own question (copied from the front page post links):

Celebritology: Jacko Overload? | Full Coverage

Posted by: plynn1 | July 1, 2009 7:45 AM | Report abuse

Sigh. Liz, be careful what you wish for - this is your job, so dig in, toughen up, and get us those minute details like which celeb his pet elephant bit!

Posted by: hithere1 | July 1, 2009 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Liz,

As Jon Stewart said the other night and I am paraphrasing "Michael Jackson is dead, can we, please, stop with the derogatory nicknames". Calling him "Wacko Jacko" or just plain "Jacko" just seems disrepectful. Michael is dead, he made some incredible music (I am not a big fan)and lived an eccentric life but he is now dead and should be allowed to RIP.

Posted by: DDS112097 | July 1, 2009 1:17 PM | Report abuse

there wouldn't be this much hooplah if the virgin mary returned to earth and hooked up w/doofus governor sanford. talk about overload. the mj news/info/speculation is everywhere.

Posted by: frieda406 | July 2, 2009 2:11 AM | Report abuse

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