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Posted at 8:10 AM ET, 06/12/2009

Madonna Malawi Adoption Approved; Heidi Pratt Posing for Playboy

By Liz Kelly
Friday

Headlines: Madonna's cleared to adopt second Malawi child... Heidi Pratt to pose for Playboy... Forensics expert rules out suicide in David Carradine death... Chastity Bono to undergo sex change... Britney Spears to see more of her kids... Danny DeVito says he was just pretending to be drunk in TV interview... Estranged couple Rihanna and Chris Brown (separately) attend Lakers game... Megan Fox annoyed at comparison to Angelina Jolie... David Letterman apologizes for Palin daughter jokes... Paul Shaffer says he turned down George Costanza role (second item)... "Real Housewife" Jacqueline Laurita gives birth to baby boy.

Crime Watch: Pete Doherty arrested for drunk driving, drug possession.

Pix: George Clooney pulled over by autograph-seeking Italian cops... David Beckham's new underwear ad... Paris Hilton cozies up to Cristiano Ronaldo... Jon Hamm and January Jones on "Mad Men" set... Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett.

Video: Kate Gosselin denies thirsty daughter water...

More: Leonardo DiCaprio's "Shutter Island" trailer.

Rumor Mill: Usher and Tameka Foster headed for divorce?... Miley Cyrus dating 21-year-old British guitarist?... Paris Hilton threw ice and fruit at supposed romantic rival; copyrights "that's huge"... Nicolas Cage denies hiring a voodoo priestess... Mike Tyson's new wife an ex-con.

Say What?
"Somebody handed me a towel to wipe the blood from my face and in my dazed state I recall staring at what seemed to be Shrek, a talking goat head and several monkey like creatures." -- Bret Michaels in a statement about his Tony Awards set mishap.

Bonus: Megan Fox's 50 Best (and Worst) Bon Mots [Jezebel]

Top 5 Suggested Taglines for "Real World: D.C.":

1. Real World, D.C.: We can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the story, regarding seven strangers, picked to live in a house ...

2. Real World, D.C.: Stand to the right.

3. Real World, D.C.: We're not at liberty to say.

4. Real World, D.C.: Taxation without representation.

5. Real World, D.C.: This is the true story, of seven strangers, picked to work at an NGO, live together, and have no one talk to them for fear of future political ramifications.

(Submitted during yesterday's Celebritology Live discussion)

By Liz Kelly  | June 12, 2009; 8:10 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: For Jennifer Aniston, a Title for the Dogs
Next: Friday List: Hot Geek Girls!

Comments

Megan Fox doesn't like the comparisons because she is not as hawt. Or as crazy. And those both bug her.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 12, 2009 8:23 AM | Report abuse

And by 'dating', Miley Cyrus means 'openly flouting statutory rape laws'.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 12, 2009 8:28 AM | Report abuse

Chastity,
Go slowly. All the good sexual reassignment surgeons are in Thailand and I hear room service is none to discreet, constantly barging in when a fella is trying to enjoy a private moment in fishnets.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 12, 2009 8:30 AM | Report abuse

The medical term for the procedure Chastity is about to undergo is called an addadictomy.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 12, 2009 8:31 AM | Report abuse

Congrats to Madonna & family - pretty soon her son's gonna have his own Banda brothers.


Playboy's Unabashed Dictionary defines Heincer as "I'm a celebrity, get me out of these wet clothes."


"Miley Cyrus dating 21-year-old British guitarist?" Maybe she just auditions band members as rigorously as Madonna auditions dancers.


"Paris Hilton copyrights 'that's huge'" but only in relation to her ego.


"Somebody handed me a towel to wipe the blood from my face and in my dazed state I recall staring at what seemed to be Shrek, a talking goat head and several monkey like creatures." -- and so Bret Michaels begins taping "Rock Of Love 3."


An editor assigned someone to collect "Megan Fox's 50 Best (and Worst) Bon Mots"? Was the waterboard unavailable that day?

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 12, 2009 8:34 AM | Report abuse

How about - Real World, D.C.: Holy $#@* Not Another Season.

Posted by: MStreet1 | June 12, 2009 8:44 AM | Report abuse

I am curious if Jesus told Heidi Montag to pose for Playboy. Didn't realize that part of being close to God was showing everyone what he gave you.

The worst thing is that I don't think she realizes what a joke she is.

Posted by: suzannepdc | June 12, 2009 8:51 AM | Report abuse

I try not to watch and J&K+8 stuff anymore, but that video is hysterical. What mother doesn't give the water to her kid first (and well, not totally deny her the water either!)

Posted by: suzannepdc | June 12, 2009 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Give Kate a break, the Bottled Water Company probably only paid HER to drink the water. If they wanted one of her kids to drink it too, then they need to pay, just like everyone else.

Posted by: MStreet1 | June 12, 2009 9:09 AM | Report abuse

I'm not familiar with the British legal system, but exactly how many times can Pete Doherty be arrested? Are they offering some kind of promotional program where one gets a free sandwich after so many violations?

Posted by: TDolla | June 12, 2009 9:09 AM | Report abuse

I am curious if Jesus told Heidi Montag to pose for Playboy.

Posted by: suzannepdc | June 12, 2009 8:51 AM

****

When Jesus says, "Hey, you in the blue, show us your t*ts," you gotta do it. On the other hand, it doesn't really sound like something He'd say. (Not that I'm saying I know the first thing about WWJD.)

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 12, 2009 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Just want to say a big "Thank You!" to Liz for the David Beckham & Jon Hamm pictures. Just what the doctor ordered...

Posted by: pras40 | June 12, 2009 9:33 AM | Report abuse

TDolla - thanks you made me laugh out loud this morning.

Posted by: LTL1 | June 12, 2009 9:46 AM | Report abuse

>>>"Somebody handed me a towel to wipe the blood from my face and in my dazed state I recall staring at what seemed to be Shrek, a talking goat head and several monkey like creatures." -- and so Bret Michaels begins taping "Rock Of Love 3."<<<

Bwahaha.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | June 12, 2009 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Geez Liz. Yesterday you told us Paris was single, and now she's already hooking up with somebody. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Regarding the rumor, what she's got is already in the public domain, and therefor cannot be copyrighted.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 12, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Let's see, Angie's movies gross just under $50M on average, so I'm sure ALL the young starlets hate being compared to her.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 12, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

"Paris Hilton cozies up to Cristiano Ronaldo," or, as the headline in The Daily Mash puts it, "RONALDO JOINS QUEUE FOR PARIS HILTON'S VAGINA"

"The former Manchester United winger was seen flirting with the hotel heiress in an LA nightclub as the two laughed about what it's like to be an empty shell of a human being with no concept of the value of anything."

http://tinyurl.com/naxpv9

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 12, 2009 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Sincerely: Best wishes to Chas. Bono - that's a tough, fraught road; may you realize your best self.

Snarkily: Wow, talk about raising the bar for other stars' kids who feel the need to act out. Next thing we know, Suri Cruise will go into phychiatry and specialize in cult deprogramming.

Mike Tyson's wife is an ex-con. Wonder if they'll be able to arrange for joint visits to their parole officer? It would save wear and tear on the family car, at least.

If "Real World: DC" is seven strangers living together and working at an NGO... isn't that a documentary about the lives of (unpaid college) interns?

Posted by: northgs | June 12, 2009 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Ugh, "pSychiatry." Although maybe her daddy wouldn't notice the irony if she just left the "h" there...

Posted by: northgs | June 12, 2009 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Really Kate? You will really take a drink of water in front of your children who are thirsty? That is pretty disgusting.

Remind me to never get lost in the desert with you.

Posted by: supersonic2 | June 12, 2009 10:22 AM | Report abuse

How about this throwback to the clinton years:

"real world, d.c.: it depends on what you mean by that."

Posted by: memphis1 | June 12, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Actually, not counting a Mighty Heart (can't find the numbers) Angie's last 6 movies averaged over 320 mil gross and not a single one made less than 100 mil.

Posted by: mcleve | June 12, 2009 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Kate Gosselin has morphed into a mean, self-serving wench who craves the spotlight. She is no longer a mother, but a celebrity and wears her new hat very well.

Geez, Usher heading for divorce? We shoulda seen this coming. After his wife split up him and his mom, gave him two kids back-to-back, divorced her other husband (with whom she had 3 OTHER kids), stalked his female fans via Twitter and almost DIED from a botched plastic surgery--she STILL can't keep a man? Geez she really is a piece of work...and now with FIVE mouths to feed

Posted by: info40 | June 12, 2009 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Kate Gosselin has morphed into a mean, self-serving wench who craves the spotlight.
-info40

I'm sorry, "morphed into"?

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | June 12, 2009 10:58 AM | Report abuse

OK, so I've never been a Megan Fox fan, but alas, I do now feel an afinity for her. Turns out she has toe thumbs. Yes, they are a real thing. I know, because I have them!

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/11/megan-fox-thumb-photos/

So while, yes, some people think it's weird, it's nice to have someone bring our horrible disability to light! (JK, it just means I look lame if I put on fake nails and thumb rings are too small for me.)

Posted by: shauch | June 12, 2009 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I am amazed that the Usher-Foster marriage may be on the rocks. Those two kids seemed to have such a solid foundation of trust, respect and love of family to build on.

Technically, Chaz is undergoing gender re-assignment, which the spokesperson was quick to point out did not necessarily involve surgery. In other words, when Chaz needs to get attention again, he can go back to being Chastity by just changing clothes.

The graduation ceremony was last night. I didn't cry until the end. Mostly becuase the illiterate principal was making me cringe.

Posted by: epjd | June 12, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Funny how Megan Fox gets all hot under the collar about being compared to Angelina Jolie, then spends most of the interview talking about Angelina Jolie. Methinks she doth protest too much.

Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton: serial daters? Sex addicts?

Posted by: Californian11 | June 12, 2009 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Dear Sarah Palin - Please get a life.

Posted by: kvs71 | June 12, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer51 wrote:

I'm sorry, "morphed into"?
-----------------
Yes.

If you go back to the times when they first conceived the sextuplets (and when the twins were small), Kate was a Plain-Jane, humble and grateful person who would give the world for her children and her husband.

Now, not so.

She even LOOKS different. New hair, new body, new face. New mean attitude

She is "morphing" into a celebrity. Or, in other words, becoming something she's not.

Posted by: info40 | June 12, 2009 12:45 PM | Report abuse

David Letterman apologizes for Palin daughter jokes.

Did anyone else besides me catch the song that Paul Shaffer and his band played as the outro to that segment? LMAO!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 12, 2009 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Now Palin wants Letterman to apologize to young women in general. I guess the whole brouhaha with the GOP dinner didn't buy her as much spotlight time as she wanted, so now she's decided to drag this on for a while.

Posted by: mouse4 | June 12, 2009 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Re Miley (and I can't believe I am typing this) since when does a teenage girl exchanging one too-old (in our opinion) boyfriend for another constitute sex addiction?

No argument on Paris, though. When you look it up in the dictionary, there's her picture. In fact, her picture is everywhere. See my previous post.

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 12, 2009 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Mouse, Please don't worry, Palin's not gonna win any new admirers with this one, just re-energize her base. The real winner: Letterman, in the court of public opinion as well as the ratings.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 12, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Once again Megan Fox proves the adage that it's better to be thought an idiot than open one's mouth and remove all doubt. Although I really do have to give her a shout out for her last line: worst-case scenario of her future: "being on The Hills." Bwahahahaha. So I'll give her one "atta girl" for that.

Nosy I missed it, what was the song?

Heidi posing for playboy...is it just me or is there some kind of weird media morphology going on with Heidi and Carrie Prejean? Vapid, blonde, psuedo religious, fake rack-carrying, "I'm a Celebrity..." and Playboy?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | June 12, 2009 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Sorcererscat, that sounds like the premise for the spinoff show, "I'm a Surgically-Altered, Chemically-Enhanced, Pseudo-Religious Celebrity. Please, God, Get Me Out of Here!" The title should be no prob for digital TV, which can easily handle the bandwidth...

Posted by: reddragon1 | June 12, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat, the outro to Letterman's Palin comments last night was the Beatles' "I Saw Her Standing There" (you need to know the first line or two of the verse for it to make sense).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 12, 2009 2:28 PM | Report abuse

I think the Palins are missing something in all this kerfuffle: in Letterman's original joke, it was A-Rod who knocked up the unnamed Palin daughter. HE should be the one apologizing.

Posted by: byoolin1 | June 12, 2009 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Ah, thanks Nosy. Yep, I know the lyrics.

reddragon I think you're on to something. Pitch meeting, stat!

I think the Palins are being ridiculous. Where did all this "rape" talk come from? His "joke" didn't have anything to do with rape unless clueless Alaskans take the expression "knocked up" literally. And seriously, did anyone even consider for a moment that it was the younger daughter he was talking about and not the camera happy Bristol? Whatever.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | June 12, 2009 2:57 PM | Report abuse

The Palin's just smell blood in the water of the Culture Wars and want to whip up a feeding frenzy. The more they try to milk it, the sillier, pettier, and more clueless they will look.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 12, 2009 3:11 PM | Report abuse

yellojkt, if only enough comics keep giving the Palins enough rope, they'll hang themselves sooner or later.

Of course, the same could also have been said till recently of David Carradine...

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | June 12, 2009 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Dang, I've been way too busy at work to post until now! Don't worry, though, Patrick, 'cause you know I love you. Strength and love and all best wishes to The Swayze!!

Posted by: jaybbub | June 12, 2009 3:58 PM | Report abuse

Really the joke was abut Palin and the fact that her kid got "knocked up" right under her control, or lack thereof, so that is why she is so indignant. When I heard the joke i assumed it was about Bristol. Honestly, who even remembers that she had a 14 year old kid.

Posted by: msame | June 12, 2009 4:28 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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