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Posted at 11:12 AM ET, 07/23/2009

Brad Pitt: Lost in Translation?

By Liz Kelly

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie with children Maddox and Zahara in 2006. (AP)

As I sit writing this blog post, the sharp morning light catches a whisper of sweat on my brow, and -- if anyone happened to be looking -- he or she would also register a distinctly sardonic cast to my countenance as I read a new interview with Brad Pitt on the Web site of German newspaper BILD. Here's a sampling that might explain my gag-worthy previous sentence:

BILD: Are you scared of ageing?

Brad Pitt (smirking): The grey hairs on his beard glisten: "No I like it. I think it's good."

"The grey hairs on his beard glisten?"

Ick bin nauseated.

Celebrity interviews are often exercises in inanity. We know this. Many stars only make themselves available to press when it becomes financially expedient -- to promote a new film or show or album or spray tanner -- and questions are often carefully managed by publicists. Pitt is one of those stars from whom we don't hear too much on a daily basis. We merely look on at his glamorific family life as it's chronicled in weekly tabloids.

Lately, though, Pitt's left his protective cone of Brangelina silence to talk about his latest movie, "Inglourious Basterds." He's all over the August issue of Wired magazine and submitted himself to another dippy Anne Curry interview.

But the BILD article has attained a level of idiocy that surely deserves some kind of award. (Sadly, no byline is included with the interview.) A few more standouts:

"Brad Pitt: “You brew good beer in Germany.” He laughs. “My sunglasses are good for hiding puffy eyes after drinking.” They are from the 80s.

BILD: You play an American soldier who scalps Nazi’s in a hit team and finally kills Hitler.

Brad Pitt: “Yes there’s a lot going on in the movie, we had lots of fun. You have some great actors in Germany.”

BILD: Do you [and Angelina Jolie] find the time to make love?

Brad Pitt (looks puzzled): What?

Maybe the translator is to blame for Pitt's 6-year-old-style answers. The reporter is definitely on the hook for the dramatic flourishes and non sequiturs. But, hey -- maybe Brad is ultimately responsible. Perhaps he's so awe-inspiring, he turns reporters (and Ann Curry) into babbling lunatics in his presence.

By Liz Kelly  | July 23, 2009; 11:12 AM ET
Categories:  Brangelina  
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Comments

"BILD: Do you [and Angelina Jolie] find the time to make love?

Brad Pitt (looks puzzled): What? "

Lol!!!
There's gotta be some kind of an award for this exchange! What is German for "scalps Nazi’s" and "make love"?

Is the apostrophe in the original?

Posted by: jezebel3 | July 23, 2009 11:30 AM | Report abuse

That interview exchange is hysterical. Thanks for posting it.

Posted by: LittleRed1 | July 23, 2009 11:40 AM | Report abuse

If I had done that interview, I wouldn't want my name on it either. Hans and Dieter (whatever their names were) should have done it. They might have asked some real questions.

Posted by: epjd | July 23, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

If I had done that interview, I wouldn't want my name on it either. Hans and Dieter (whatever their names were) should have done it. They might have asked some real questions.

Posted by: epjd | July 23, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

If I had done that interview, I wouldn't want my name on it either. Hans and Dieter (whatever their names were) should have done it. They might have asked some real questions.

Posted by: epjd | July 23, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Hmm, triple posting. It wasn't that brilliant.

Posted by: epjd | July 23, 2009 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Jez, no apostrophe in the original.

"Sie spielen einen US-Soldaten, der im Hit-Team Nazis skalpiert und endlich Hitler killt."

I love German. It's such a musical language.

Posted by: byoolin1 | July 23, 2009 11:45 AM | Report abuse

What's really weird is that I never knew Brad spoke German...

Posted by: byoolin1 | July 23, 2009 11:46 AM | Report abuse

It could've been worse: I assume that at least Brad didn't have to grant the interview in German. The potential for hilarity if he mangled the language would have been endless.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | July 23, 2009 11:49 AM | Report abuse

The next question in the Bild story is, "Who is the real Brad Pitt?"
He answers, "The one sitting in front of you."

Apparently, Ann Curry also conducted the interview in Bild.

Posted by: byoolin1 | July 23, 2009 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Brad Pitt: “You brew good beer in Germany.” He laughs. “My sunglasses are good for hiding puffy eyes after drinking.” They are from the 80s.

- Which are from the 80s? The puffy eyes or the sunglasses?

Posted by: mdreader01 | July 23, 2009 11:50 AM | Report abuse

At least Dieter from SNL would have said, "I tire of your answers. Where's my monkey?"

Posted by: mdreader01 | July 23, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Jez, no apostrophe in the original.

"Sie spielen einen US-Soldaten, der im Hit-Team Nazis skalpiert und endlich Hitler killt."

I love German. It's such a musical language.

Posted by: byoolin1 | July 23, 2009 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Duh, what's the "make love" part, duh?

Posted by: jezebel3 | July 23, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, have you ever been interviewed by the media in a second language? Sheer terror, even if they're not playing "gotcha"!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | July 23, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Das ist komisch!

Correct answer Brad: nein.

Posted by: hodie | July 23, 2009 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, I have a strict "no media" policy. "Sheer terror," though, is in play from the minute I wake up...

Posted by: byoolin1 | July 23, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Is it me, or is the German entertainment media really doing some dumb interviews these days? I seem to recall someone from there asking Heidi Klum how it felt to be "decrepit". (At least I think it was Heidi Klum.) This Brad Pitt one takes the cake, though.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | July 23, 2009 12:05 PM | Report abuse

I would be less scared of "ageing" and more of spelling.

Speaking as someone Brad Pitt's age, the grey beard (glistening or no) isn't working. At least back when he was dating, he'd dye his hair to match his current girlfriend. Might want to go back to that, old, er, um, OK fine, middle-aged guy.

You're in BILD's eye
And we'll know why
The more they write
The faster we will cry
Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

Brad, you are beautiful and angular. If you were a gas, you would be inert. Now -- after the BILD interview -- is the part where we dance.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | July 23, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, I think it was Michelle Pfeiffer who was decrepit. ?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | July 23, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Bild is much like der Stern, which translates to "Star." Both of them approximate the American tabloid Star in journalistic integrity. So, it's not surprising no one took credit for the interview, and it is not suprising the questions were dumb. I agree the answers speak for themselves. Which apparently Brad Pitt shouldn't.

As a related side note, we can all look forward to Jon Gosselin's Star reporter sleepover friend telling all.

Posted by: reddragon1 | July 23, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

"Star in journalistic integrity"

Tee hee.

Posted by: jezebel3 | July 23, 2009 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Ahh, you're right td, it was Michelle Pfeiffer. Couldn't quite recall.

Are we sure that Bild didn't actually interview one of the kids?

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | July 23, 2009 1:15 PM | Report abuse

I would touch Brad's monkey.

Posted by: chunche | July 23, 2009 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Oh please - there was the German reporter who asked Michelle Pfeiffer last month what it was like to be "old and decrepit."

http://www.imdb.com/news/ni0837714/

Perhaps it's a cultural thing with their reporters.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | July 23, 2009 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Actually, I think the Germans got Brad Pitt down pat...

"He is relaxed, has a friendly voice and is almost humble about his fame."

Posted by: mdreader01 | July 23, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

"almost humble"? Is that akin to "a little bit pregnant"?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | July 23, 2009 3:51 PM | Report abuse

Herr Pitt, ve have vays of making you make love.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | July 23, 2009 6:09 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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