Jude Law Expecting Child with Unnamed Woman; Jackson Autopsy Results Delayed

"Gwyneth Paltrow's lava lamp dress -- hot or not?"

Reminds me of her Oscar dress - boobs are saggy.

"Jude Law expecting child with unnamed "individual".."

Really? They couldn't just say unnamed woman? Only an idiot would question the gender of the "individual". Unless of course the mother is Thomas Beatty......

"Did Tony Romo take flirt-texting (flexting?) pal to Jessica Simpson concert?"

Oh, I hope so.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

So, will Jude get visitation rights to the baby's nanny?

Imprisoned Phil Spector "not doing great." It's just nerves, Phil. Then again, you shouldn't have promised Charlie Manson you'd get the Ronettes to record backing tracks with him before you made sure they were on board.

Gwynnie's lava lamp dress -- meh. But I like how the picture on the left makes it look like her right knee is two inches lower than her left.

I can't decide which is worse: Tony Romo cheating on JSimp, or taking someone to a JSimp concert.

Woops. I had 3-2 odds that Kenny Chesney was ToRoMo's flexting partner at the concert. Back to the drawing board.

Quentin Tarantino don't need you to tell him how much of a f***ing hoarder he is, okay? He's the one who hoards it. He knows how much there is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys S***. He hoards the gourmet expensive stuff because when he hoards it he wants to taste it. But you know what's on his mind right now? It AIN'T the hoard in his kitchen, it's the Inglourious Basterds print in his garage.

Amy, Twatter is like Twitter; it just sends the tweets to a different place.

As for Omer Bhatti, I didn't realize that plastic surgery on noses was an inheritable genetic trait.

Last week Angelina took Shiloh and Zaharra out for their first tattoos.

Nice idea for the dress, but falls flat on the execution. Needs to be longer, or more fitteed, or worn with hose, or something.

So, will Jude get visitation rights to the baby's nanny?

Posted by: yellojkt

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8.5, 8.5, 9.0, 9.5, 9.0, 7.0 (As usual, the East German judge's score is inexplicable.)

Nice idea for the dress, but falls flat on the execution. Needs to be longer, or more fitteed, or worn with hose, or something.

Posted by: OriginalBluto

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"something" = "worn by someone else"?

Gwynnie's dress - not. It looks bunched up and lumpy.

Imprisoned Phil Spector "not doing great." Pity.

Tony Romo, we get it - you want to be Tom Brady. Piece of advice: it's gonna take more than new arm candy.

Gwynnie's dress: total fug. She's a naturally thin person, but the purple amoebas and that thick fabric add 15 lbs to her. Fail.

I guess its time for Phil Spector to join a prison gang. I wonder who he'll have to shank first.

the posts comic-con coverage isnt as good as last year liz...
make em send you next time

I'm sure we're all deeply concerned with whether we go down at all in Quentin Tarantino's estimations.

I had made a comment about "tw##ter" but it must have bee too profane! Sorry, Liz. It was easy pickens.

Gwinnie: Dress=hot Shoes=NOT.

Those shoes are beyond ugly. I don't get the appeal.

Besides the fugly dress, did anyone else notice that Gwynnie's only tanned on the front? Her profile is as white as white can be.

Gwyneth Paltrow's lava lamp dress -- hot or not?

Dress? Meh. Shoes? Fugliest.

Balthazar Getty reconciling with wife?

Hope so, for everyone's sakes, including their four children.

Ironically, elsewhere in the article Sienna Miller says a friend took her to lunch and told her, "You've been through hell and you need to talk about it with someone." Am I totally old-fashioned, or isn't Rosetta Millington (Mrs. BG) the one who's really been through hell over this?

Cruz Beckham named after Tom Cruise.

Not after Wee Tom's ex-beard Penélope Cruz?

Reps deny fight with ScarJo kept Ryan Reynolds from Comic-Con.

Would you expect them to say anything other? That's their job.

That Daily Mail gossip page is irresistably skanky, though reading it sure beats work. They provocatively inquire, "Thigh-high boots are the next big thing but who will dare wear them?" Hmm, maybe "working girls" (and boys)?

Yet, they also have a report on a Sudanese woman facing 40 lashes. Why? For the crime of wearing... (wait for it)... trousers. The article explains, "Under Islamic laws used in parts of the country, it is illegal for a woman to wear trousers rather than long skirts in public. But the law is not supposed to apply to non-Muslims like Miss Hussein, a former journalist who works for the United Nations."

The Beckhams really need to buy a baby name book.

Jude Law is taking a certain biblical passage a little too seriously.

There is a reason the Kenny Chesney item is in the rumor mill. Remember the Renee Zellwegger annulment.

Agree with guest1234. I like the dress but the shoes are horrible! I think the changes in skin color are due to the lighting but she does look different in profile.

Spector not doing well....I can guess that being Manson's b!tch in prison would make anyone a little nervous.

Doesn't sound like Tarantino is a hoarder because he is not obsessed with his possessions. He is just a lazy slob. Needs to hire a maid.

"Did Tony Romo take flirt-texting (flexting?) pal to Jessica Simpson concert?"
- What was the other choice of first date? Watching speed ladder and L drills at the summer practice session?

"He [Spector] mentioned that he used to get phone calls from John Lennon and Tina Turner and now it's Charles Manson calling, so he said, 'Go figure'."
- Maybe we need to ship Phil over to the Philippines. At least there, he'd have the opportunity to learn the dance routine from "Thriller."

Next month on GOOP: Make a runway ready dress from a Hefty bag and your husband's old tour jacket.

mdreader:
- Maybe we need to ship Phil over to the Philippines. At least there, he'd have the opportunity to learn the dance routine from "Thriller."

ROLF! And he wouldn't need make-up.

January Jones and Phil Spector, listen to the sound of the world's smallest violin. For very different reasons, of course.

Liz sez, " . . . Michael Jackson autopsy results delayed . . . ".

Curmudgeon sez, "Thank god for small favors. I am hoping to eat a ruben sandwich for lunch."

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Next month on GOOP: Make a runway ready dress from a Hefty bag and your husband's old tour jacket.

Love it mdreader!

"Make it work"!

I hope Gwyneth's shoes (boots? whatever) are not supposed to start a new trend. They are ugly, yes, but also look dumb with a dress. That kind of shoe, if it works at all, can only work with pants, and only if the pants have no pleats.

Speaking of pleats - has Liz weighed in on the new trend of women wearing harem pants? They are not pleated, exactly, but the fullness gives the wearer the same type of look my son has when his diaper is full.

Next thing you know, Beckham will be yelling, "CRUZ! Get off the couch! NOW!"

Nosy, could it be that the Sudanese woman's offense was wearing PLEATED pants? Lou Dobbs thinks that she was getting ready to take a secret flight to the United States so that her child could be born here and thus grow up to become President.

Hef sez if you think that Miss January is a bit thin, then you'll fall in love with Miss April. She's aglow with a bun in the oven, courtesy of Jude Law.

Sas
Lou Dobbs thinks that she was getting ready to take a secret flight to the United States so that her child could be born here and thus grow up to become President.

Or in the alternative, that she'd want him to be eligible under the Obama adminsitration health insurance program.

Gwynnie the Pooh has always looked like she had the potential to be beautifully hot. It appears that her potential hotness will never be actualized.

Madonna has reported taken on the alias of "Esther." That's only for the summer. in the fall she will take on the alias "Amy," and do covers of the Britney Spears tune "If you seek Amy."

January Jones and Phil Spector, listen to the sound of the world's smallest violin. For very different reasons, of course.

Posted by: Californian11

*****

I don't know how January Jones would react to that, but Phil Spector would overdub and overdub and overdub and overdub the violin until it sounded like a two-hundred-piece world's smallest violin orchestra, and then he'd pretty much ruin Across The Universe and The Long And Winding Road with it.

Speaking of pleats - has Liz weighed in on the new trend of women wearing harem pants? They are not pleated, exactly, but the fullness gives the wearer the same type of look my son has when his diaper is full.

Posted by: newengland1 | July 30, 2009 12:26 PM
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According to MC Hammer, U Can't Touch This.

Following up from yesterday's headline...is anyone else tired of Gisele Bündchen?

I'm not denying the woman is gorgeous. But I feel like she's more famous for dating Leonardo DiCaprio and marrying Tom Brady and being gorgeous than anything else.

I know this is Celebritology, but her hold on celebrity is tenuous at best. She's famous arm candy, and I could give a crap if a fashion magazine airbrushed out her incipient pregnancy "baby bump". Because I'm sure a few months down the line, someone will do a shoot on her mostly naked and hugely pregnant. Whatever.

Oh, and Gwynnie's dress? The concept is interesting but it just doesn't fit her.

Chasmosaur, I actually knew who Giesele was before I knew who Tom Brady was. She is a pretty famous supermodel in her own right. But yeah, sick of her.

Holy cow, check this out:
http://www.peoplestylewatch.com/people/stylewatch/gallery/0,,20170225,00.html

That has got to be the worst pic ever. And is Angelina losing her hair or what? It's WAY receding.

Californian
And is Angelina losing her hair or what? It's WAY receding.

Maybe she's preparing to play Elizabeth I.

Incidentally, don't Angie's hands and feet look scary bony in that photo? Ewwww.

Chat update for the person asking about Val Kilmer: I don't know from Alpha, but Omega was mentioned in a Celebritology chat in April 2008. By me, apparently.

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From "Comment Box: Val Kilmer -- the New Tom Cruise?" (4/21/08, http://wpni.apperceptive.com/blog.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2008/04/comment_box_val_kilmer_the_new.html):

Usually Val Kilmer's name is invoked around here to post pictures of the one-time Lizard King's expanding waistline. But thanks to a submission from Friday's Celebritology Live chat, we can consider the notoriously difficult actor in a whole new light:

byool, IN: Val Kilmer letting himself go extends to reading from the Bible on TV. In Wheeling W. Va., he appears on Cable 10 -- after the real estate ads and before the other religious show hosted by the fat shouting guy who uses his children in his ads for his tire store. I wish I were making this up.

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I thought of this because I saw him on channel 10 just the other night.

hodie:

I agree - I heard of her before I really knew who Tom Brady was. But then again, I'm tired of hearing about Tom Brady, too ;)

Tony Romo, we get it - you want to be Tom Brady. Piece of advice: it's gonna take more than new arm candy.

Posted by: northgs |

More advice: Jessica is no Giselle (no matter how sick of her my fellow lizards are), so upgrade the arm candy too.

And sorry Chas, I don't know if I'll EVER get sick of hearing about Tom Brady ;-)

sorcerors_cat:

LOL - I'll concede that Gisele is an upgrade over Jessica Simpson, despite my fatigue with her.

However, I'm a Giants fan from NYC - I can't get excited over the Pats ;)

Phil Spector "not doing great"? Well, tough onions, dude -- Lana Clarkson ain't doing too good at this point, either.

So Jude Law has knocked up an "individual"? Yawn. Let me know when he knocks up a group, then we'll have a story.

-The Poster Formerly Known as Snarky Squirrel