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Celebritology 2.0: August 16, 2009 - August 22, 2009

Why Jen Should Feel Screwed Over by Us

(Image courtesy Us Weekly) Because one romantic rival wasn't enough, Jennifer Aniston now has a second, or so sayeth Us Weekly. If you're not familiar with Us, it's the mag in your grocery checkout line that usually has Jon and Kate Gosselin on the cover. This week, tho, Us features a smirking Renee Zellweger alongside a vulnerable Ansiston with the headline "Why He Chose Renee." The online version is a bit more blunt, headlining the barely-sourced scoop: " EXCLUSIVE: Jennifer Aniston Feels 'Screwed Over' by Bradley Cooper." Cooper, breakout star of "The Hangover" and wicked awesome movie trivia game player, apparently had the chutzpah to have dinner with Aniston in June, then break her already banged-up heart by taking up with Zellweger several weeks later. Per Us's source (a "pal"): "She [Aniston] wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something ... she honestly feels screwed over. [Aniston] doesn't...

By Liz Kelly  | August 21, 2009; 10:40 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (25)
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Michael Jackson Burial Postponed; Reality Show Contestant Charged with Murder

Headlines: Michael Jackson's burial postponed two days, says Papa Joe... Kristen Stewart to strip in upcoming movie... Gwyneth Paltrow debuts fashion collection... Spencer Pratt praises Brad Pitt for deftly dumping Jennifer Aniston... Tameka Foster accused of plagiarizing Huffington Post essay... After Twittering her whereabouts, Lindsay Lohan complains about paparazzi crush... Nude photo of Jackie Kennedy found among Andy Warhol's possessions. Crime Watch: Still missing VH1 reality show contestant charged with wife's murder; police confirmed he's fled to Canada... Police investigating "illegal activity" on Eric Dane nude-fest tape... Woman caught snooping at Britney Spears's home gets probation. Pix: Courtney Love and a taxidermied turtle (in bed)... Billy Ray Cyrus and lots of mayo (not in bed)... Fishnetted Claire Danes on the cover of BlackBook... Lady Gaga gets in on the vampire craze. Video: Benicio Del Toro as "The Wolfman"... More: Fish-free Jeremy Piven says he's a changed man. Rumor Mill:...

By Liz Kelly  | August 21, 2009; 8:10 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (42)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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VIDEO -- 'Twits': Wisdom from Diddy, LiLo and BrookeHo

I'll spare the preamble because today is all about being a multimedia powerhouse. So, without further ado, I give you "Twits" -- a pilot for what I'm hoping will become a weekly Celebritology feature, in which actors channel the inner voices of celebs as revealed by their Twitter accounts. Have a watch. All quotes are verbatim: Like it? Let me know because "Twits" needs feedback. And because in the future I may rely on you to send me celebrity Twitterings worthy of "Twit" dramatization, and may even call on you to sit in front of a camera and channel one of these deep souls. Oh, and please pass on the link to your friends. A special thank you to actors Rachel Manteuffel and Aidan Hughes, and to Meredith and Austin Bragg, who lent their considerable skills to birthing this pilot....

By Liz Kelly  | August 20, 2009; 10:10 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (33)
Categories:  Celebrities, Twits Video  
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Celine Dion Impregnated with Embryo Stored for 8 Years; 'Jon and Kate' Ratings Slide

Headlines: Celine Dion impregnated with embryo stored for eight years... Whitney Houston to sit down with Oprah... Ursula Andress voted "ultimate bikini goddess"... "Jon and Kate" ratings continue slide... Jason Schwartzman ("Rushmore") married in July... Phil Spector hopes to be transferred away from "lowlife scumbags" to new prison... Soon to be exes Robin Wright and Sean Penn agree to division of property... Newly-single Billy Joel selling Hamptons homes for $35 million... Seattle woman sues David Copperfield for alleged assault... John Hawkes signs on for final season of "Lost." Celebrity Real Estate: Julianne Moore's New York townhouse (pix) for sale. Pix: Ricky Martin and his twin sons... Danity Kane reject Aubrey O'Day almost manages to class up her look... Frances Bean Cobain, paisley pantsuit... Sherri Shepherd, bathing suit... Celebrities on invisible bikes. Video: Jay-Z's bodyguard scuffles with Croatian paparazzi... More: Some jerk secretly films Brad Pitt on cross-country flight. Rumor...

By Liz Kelly  | August 20, 2009; 8:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (43)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Going Full Tilt for Bill Paxton

(Image courtesy Updated 3:45 p.m. ET -- scroll down for new must-read details about the Bill Paxton pinball machine. I learned early on that no good can come from slagging Bill Paxton, and none too soon. Shortly after I dismissed Paxton as no more than a guy who played a surfer dude in every single movie, I became a late-blooming fan thanks to his portrayal of polygamous everyman Bill Henrickson on HBO's "Big Love." So it is with pleasure that I present the Bill Paxton pinball machine, a labor of love for gamer and modder Benjamin J. Heckendorn who we should all thank for not being unduly enamored of Jeremy Piven or Pete Wentz. But why Paxton? Explains Heckendorn who, in a blog post, says he always wanted to build a pinball machine from scratch: Well it's as good a theme as any -- I guess I could...

By Liz Kelly  | August 19, 2009; 10:10 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (20)
Categories:  Extreme Fans  
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Michael Jackson's Doctor Posts Video Statement; Celine Dion Pregnant

Video: Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, says "truth will prevail" in new video statement... Headlines: Robin Wright Penn files for divorce from Sean Penn... Celine Dion pregnant with second child... Nicole Kidman to appear on Thursday's "Project Runway"... Joe Jonas to be "Idol" guest judge... Brad Pitt signs on to animated movie for his kids... Ben Stiller stars in film for Smithsonian visitors... Judge: Paris Hilton not responsible (at least not $8.5 million responsible) for movie flop. Crime Watch: Alleged Miley Cyrus stalker appears in court... "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch says he was jailed for being gay... Former "So You Think You Can Dance" choreographer Alex Da Silva charged with rape. Video: Bikini-clad Britney Spears delivers "Late Show" Top 10 list.... Rumor Mill: Emaciated Christian Bale disappears from "Fighter" set between takes. Say What? "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all...

By Liz Kelly  | August 19, 2009; 8:22 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (69)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Celebrity Sex Tapes: A Brief History

Celebrity sex tape success story Paris Hilton in July. (Getty Images) This morning, "Grey's Anatomy's" Eric Dane ("McSteamy") and his wife -- one-time Noxzema model Rebecca Gayheart -- became the latest to join the celebrity sex tape club. Though, to be precise, theirs is more of a nudie fest made a bit more interesting by the inclusion of former beauty queen (and "Celebrity Rehab"-ber) Kari Ann Peniche. Even though it's banal, the footage is definitely NSFW, so here's a recap: A nude McSteamy and sometimes costumed, sometimes nude Gayheart and Peniche loll around what appears to be a cluttered bed discussing their porn names (Dane tries out "just Peter" before going with "Cocaine Manor.") and a mutual admiration of cowboys and being "very high" (maybe they're on the top floor of a skyscraper?). Then, the action -- if it can be called that -- moves to the bathtub where...

By Liz Kelly  | August 18, 2009; 10:28 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (17)
Categories:  Celebrities, Celebritology 101  
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Nude Tape Leaked of Eric Dane, Wife and Former Beauty Queen; Paula Abdul Angling for 'Idol' Return

Headlines: Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart in nude video with former beauty queen; "Not a sex tape," says Dane's lawyer... Michael Jackson to be buried on 51st birthday, says Papa Joe... Judge approves deal for sale of Jackson merchandise... Steve Harvey joins "Good Morning America" for family, relationship segments... Shania Twain next up for "Idol" guest-judging slot... Robin Wright Penn says she won't reconcile with Sean Penn... Mark Wahlberg treated for smoke inhalation on set of new movie... Tyra Banks to reveal her "real" hair... "Real Housewives of Atlanta's" Nene Leakes admits to stripper past... John Cleese reaches $19 million divorce settlement with third wife. Pix: Ryan Seacrest snapped filming E! stand-up on a booster box. Rumor Mill: Paula Abdul negotiating a return to "Idol"... Colin Farrell spooked by obsessed fan... Robert Downey Jr. to play vampire Lestat?... Did Tony Romo dump Jessica Simpson because of booze?... Gwyneth Paltrow...

By Liz Kelly  | August 18, 2009; 8:20 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (45)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Kristen Stewart is Hott, and You Can Be, Too

The irresistible Kristen Stewart. (Getty Images) As far as I can tell YourTango is some kind of online equivalent of Cosmo -- lots of "How to [insert ridiculous acrobatic/x-rated/over-analytic action here] Your Man!" And despite my strong inclination to lose myself in "Polyamory: What If You Keep Falling In Love?," I instead put my shoulder to the wheel and decided to find out about the "5 Kristen Stewart Traits That Robert [Pattinson] and Men Love." Ignoring the headline's disturbing implication that Pattinson is not a man, it turns out that Stewart's attractiveness lies not in curves or sex appeal, but in her devil-may-care lack of glamour, her quirkiness and her smarts. And before you dismiss this as mere speculation, YourTango makes it very clear that their findings are the result of polling both American and English men. Irrefutable, you see. So ladies, take a cue from Kristin and add...

By Liz Kelly  | August 17, 2009; 10:59 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (22)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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George Michael Arrested (Again); No 'Ugly Betty' for Paula Abdul

Update: Donny Osmond, Kathy Ireland, Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Aaron Carter, Kelly Osbourne, Debbie Mazar and former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay sign on to "Dancing With the Stars" fall season. -- 10:50 a.m. ET Madonna celebrates her 51st birthday on stage in Warsaw, Poland, on Saturday. (Getty Images) Headlines: No "Ugly Betty" cameo for Paula Abdul after talks fall apart... Bob Dylan mistaken for hobo... Jerry Seinfeld to be Jay Leno's first primetime guest... Jennifer Aniston to sing in next movie... Kate Winslet to star in "Mildred Pierce" TV remake... Rumer Willis celebrates 21st birthday in Las Vegas... Amid protests, Madonna celebrates 51st birthday in Poland... Katie Holmes's clothing line to launch this fall... Virile Alaskan Levi Johnston says he'd pose nude for the right price... Alyssa Milano marries... Reality TV "star" Omarosa entering seminary... George Clooney suing paparazzi for snapping photos of 13-year-old on his property. Crime...

By Liz Kelly  | August 17, 2009; 8:33 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (40)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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