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Posted at 6:59 AM ET, 08/26/2009

Chris Brown Sentenced; Jon Gosselin Sick of 'Jon and Kate'

By Liz Kelly
Wednesday

Headlines: LaToya Jackson to sit down with Barbara Walters... Beyonce named Billboard magazine's Woman of the Year... Paris Jackson gets her first haircut... Jon Gosselin sick of "Jon and Kate;" Kate Gosselin "lonely"... Paula Abdul to host VH1 "Divas" special... Church officials urge Bulgarians to boycott Madonna concert... Tony Curtis in trouble for profanity-heavy BBC radio rant.

Crime Watch: Chris Brown gets five years probation, ordered to stay away from Rihanna; court documents recount history of abuse, details of attack... Accused Miley Cyrus stalker planned to "finish things."

Video: Julia Styles spoofs celebrity designers...

Rumor Mill: Britney Spears still in love with paparazzo Adnan Ghalib?... Shia LaBeouf dating co-star Carey Mulligan?... Video purports to show a very alive Michael Jackson jumping out of coroner's van... Chelsea Handler splits from longtime partner... Candy Spelling working on her own reality show?... Gwyneth Paltrow urges husband Chris Martin to ditch Coldplay... Helena Bonham Carter pregnant?...

Say What?
"My uterus is really flattered that everyone cares. But sorry, no occupants." -- "True Blood's" Anna Paquin, responding to baby bump speculation.

By Liz Kelly  | August 26, 2009; 6:59 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: What Would Gwyneth Do? I DON'T KNOW!

Comments

I've never seen a second of the show, but I know just how Jon Gosselin feels.


Kate Gosselin "lonely"... It's hardly surprising: you're not going to meet anyone with the Match.com ad that is J+K+8 (plus tv crew + paparazzi + assorted hangers-on). And Nadya has the clapped-out-clown-car-vag market cornered.


Paula Abdul's "Divas" special: talking to herself in a mirror.


Average Bulgarian reacts to Church officials urging to boycott Madonna concert: "Remember the good old days when we were under the thumb of the Communists and the Church would just shut up?"


Tony Curtis is 84 years old. What are you gonna do, ground him?

"Video purports to show a very alive Michael Jackson jumping out of coroner's van..." I hope he's not coming after me for blowing his cover.


"Chelsea Handler splits from longtime partner..." Looks like she'll be handling herself for awhile.


"Candy Spelling working on her own reality show?" And in her own reality, one might add.


Late edit: "Gwyneth *coughyokocough* Paltrow urges husband Chris Martin to ditch Coldplay."

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 26, 2009 8:34 AM | Report abuse

Why Latoya? She's the Zeppo of the Jackson family. I'd rather hear what Tito has to say.


byoolin, you were right all along. I stand in awe.


But Jon if you weren't on the show how will you pay for all those Ed Hardy shirts? Also, I can guarantee that all those cute twenty somethings will stop dating you if you aren't on tv.


Don't worry Gwyneth, Coldplay has been urging Chris Martin to quit you for years.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 26, 2009 8:50 AM | Report abuse

Normally, I urge celebs to get a publicist to keep them from saying stupid stuff. In Anna Paquin's case, she is fine on her own. The Heigl Thing should take note on how to be candid without throwing everyone else under the bus.

No Jon, you are just sick of Kate.

Not surprised it was not the first incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Just the first where she took action.

Posted by: epjd | August 26, 2009 9:06 AM | Report abuse

Normally, I urge celebs to get a publicist to keep them from saying stupid stuff. In Anna Paquin's case, she is fine on her own. The Heigl Thing should take note on how to be candid without throwing everyone else under the bus.

No Jon, you are just sick of Kate.

Not surprised it was not the first incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Just the first where she took action.

Posted by: epjd | August 26, 2009 9:06 AM | Report abuse

"The brunette star was also seen sporting a red swimsuit during the vacation, which did little to conceal her growing curves. "

Um... you don't carry a baby in your @$$.

Posted by: MzFitz | August 26, 2009 9:28 AM | Report abuse

On a serious note, I read the police report from the Rhianna and CB incident. WOW. That was a really, really terrible fight. It was brutal and makes me sad.

Jon, we are all sick of J&K+8. Give the kids a break, Mom. You are doing the show for selfish reasons.

Posted by: Guest1234 | August 26, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

"Jon Gosselin Sick of 'Jon and Kate'"

Dude, you and me both and I've never seen the show.

Posted by: zn123 | August 26, 2009 9:31 AM | Report abuse

I agree with Jon Gosslin about something....I think this may be a sign of the coming apocalypse.

Posted by: Lizka | August 26, 2009 9:46 AM | Report abuse

I've always wondered if Chelsea Handler got her t.v. gig b/c of the ex-boyfriend? I'd rather watch Kathy Griffin do a talk show.

Posted by: kvs09 | August 26, 2009 9:53 AM | Report abuse

I have a dream. It's a small, silly dream, but it's my dream. That one day, every page of every website on earth will have the words "Liskula" & "skank", not necessarily in that order.

Thank you.

Posted by: bobsewell | August 26, 2009 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Sorry MzFitz - at 6 months preggers and counting the first thing that grew was my a**...

I am pleased to report that the 'girls' and belly have caught up. I think it has to do with being a slightly older preggers... The body wants to retain everything it gets it's hands on...

BTW it isn't due to eating or slackoff behavior or what have you, I still run, lift and bike daily, it is like some unstoppable tide of retention...

Posted by: LTL1 | August 26, 2009 10:00 AM | Report abuse

byoolin
Average Bulgarian reacts to Church officials urging to boycott Madonna concert: "Remember the good old days when we were under the thumb of the Communists and the Church would just shut up?"

You took the words right out of my mouth, er, fingertips!


Jon Gosselin sick of "Jon and Kate"

Sadly, I believe I heard a quote from him last night to the effect that he was also sick of the kids. If true, then the word "tool" doesn't even come close.


Congrats to LTL! Hope you're happy and feeling well, that pesky little retention matter aside.


While reading the article on Helena Bonham Carter's pregnancy, I noticed on the same page two consecutive items: "Katie Price and Peter Andre's divorce battle" and the poll "What do you think about Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid?"

In the spirit of "When a tree falls in the forest," is someone a celebrity if you've never heard of them?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 26, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Sorry MzFitz - at 6 months preggers and counting the first thing that grew was my a**...


Posted by: LTL1 | August 26, 2009 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Lay off the rice & beans.

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 26, 2009 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin:
"Video purports to show a very alive Michael Jackson jumping out of coroner's van..." I hope he's not coming after me for blowing his cover.

Don't worry byoo, we know you can take him.
But just in case, when I see him in Vegas, I'll be mumms on your whereabouts.

Jon G. echoes the sentiments of lizards everywhere.

How can Bulgarians say Madonna is direspecting Christians? For awhile there all we heard about was how much she loved Jesus.


Posted by: hodie | August 26, 2009 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Happy 89th anniversary today to the 19th Amendment to the Constitution!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 26, 2009 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Jon is sick of "Jon and Kate"? No kidding-- he's been doing everything he can to tarnish or flat out wreck the show since word of his flings with teenagers began surfacing. He doesn't want the headaches? I guess he's tired of the money the show brought his way too.

Jon really ought to grow up. He must not understand how petty and immature his antics make him look.

Posted by: dbitt | August 26, 2009 10:58 AM | Report abuse

I can't WAIT to hear what LaToya says about Paris' first haircut and spa day. (At least those reporters covering Megan Fox for men's magazines will now have someone else's nail polish to obsess over for a change.)

Frankly, I'm not sure what's more disturbing -- the fact that the media has a story about Paris' haircut, or the fact that I read it.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | August 26, 2009 11:00 AM | Report abuse

altho' he was a celebrity of a different stripe and thus may be off topic, my condolences go out today to the family of sen. ted kennedy, who died after a valiant struggle against a deadly disease. i'm too sad to write anything else.

Posted by: frieda406 | August 26, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Yes, Frieda, I'm sad too.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 26, 2009 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Frieda, I just hope this is the end. Usually, these clusters start with a splash and end with one. So, I hope this is the big one.

Condolences to the Kennedy family. It is truly the end of a political era.

Posted by: epjd | August 26, 2009 12:16 PM | Report abuse

td- I also feel icky about the fact I read the piece about Paris' haircut. And the fact that Paris' bodyguard had to insist that all of the hair be gathered up and given to the family is sad. Can you imagine how much the paps would pay to do DNA testing on that child's hair?

Posted by: TigerLily81 | August 26, 2009 12:41 PM | Report abuse

The Watering Down of U.S. Culture, Chapter XXIII: The Devaluation of "Diva"

"This year's VH1 Divas show will honor Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks, Leona Lewis and Miley Cyrus."

Nope. Not even close. I mean, once Elton John appeared on that show, you knew we'd sunk a bit far from Aretha Franklin. Kelly Clarkson is a decent contender.

But Jordin Sparks? Miley Frickin' Cyrus?!?! Inconceivable! Were Christy Carlson Romano and Hilary Duff busy? I mean, come ON.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | August 26, 2009 12:50 PM | Report abuse

tigerlily, not to worry. If the paps tried it they would soon find out you can't do DNA testing on cut hair. You need the follicle for DNA.

Posted by: hodie | August 26, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Poor Radio Ulster! Hasn't the BBC heard of something called a 60-second delay? Perhaps with all of the guy-talk radio personalities that are getting laid off around the US, some radio stations can sell some used equipment to the Beeb.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 26, 2009 1:09 PM | Report abuse

I greatly look forward to swearing a lot in public when I'm in my eighties.

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 26, 2009 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Um... you don't carry a baby in your @$$.

Posted by: MzFitz

--------------------------------------------
Betcha that when the twins were little, JLo could carry both on them on her shelf.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | August 26, 2009 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Betcha that when the twins were little, JLo could carry both on them on her shelf.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot

********************************************

Betcha she still can.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 26, 2009 1:53 PM | Report abuse

I posted a link late yesterday after everyone was gone, but if you want to see this year's Susan Boyle (although much cuter) check out You Tube for "X Factor Danyl Johnson" (sometimes misspelled Daniel)--the 6 minute versions have all the build up (bad day of auditions, "pity the fool who comes next" etc) and aftermath and is worth watching, but at least do the 3 minute performance part. When even Simon is cracking up you know you've got a winner! ;-)
And he won't need a makeover...

The Miley stalker has gone from ick nast to just plain terrifying. Sheesh.

Thanks td for using "inconceivable" in a completely straightforward way--for once that word means what we think it means!

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 26, 2009 2:03 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and I think I'm developing a girl crush on Anna Paquin. Not sure if she means to be as funny as she sounds, but she's tremendously entertaining.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 26, 2009 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Anna Paquin says that she takes her bra off for sex. Should we assume that she also takes off her panties for sex? I would use more descriptive language, but I understand that this forum is "live" and is not suitable for foul language at this time.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | August 26, 2009 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Anna Paquin says that she takes her bra off for sex. Should we assume that she also takes off her panties for sex? I would use more descriptive language, but I understand that this forum is "live" and is not suitable for foul language at this time.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | August 26, 2009 3:18 PM
=======================
Only if you're 84 and Jamie Lee Curtis' dad.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 26, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Spoke too soon about it being over.

RIP Dominick Dunne. Hope you are enjoying your reunion with your beautiful daughter.

Posted by: epjd | August 26, 2009 6:20 PM | Report abuse

Ah, the first MJ sighting. You can't keep the Undead down.

Posted by: kabuki3 | August 26, 2009 9:31 PM | Report abuse

Re: Chris and Rhianna: I believe continuously it takes two to tango. I believe he should establish a restraining order against her as well. People in love are weak and can and will defy all laws and see each other. She can easily violate the order and claim that it was his fault. She may still have feelings for him as well and if he is smart he would file a restraining order against her so he will be protect also. I do not think Rhianna expected it to go this far - 5 years probation? Can she hang with that, for she remained with him through other abusive situations? That is the question? GET SMART!

Posted by: simpleedirect | August 27, 2009 4:01 AM | Report abuse

Re: Chris Brown and Rhianna: Okay I just read the report too and like I said he needs to have a restraining filed against her too. Reuniting at a later date? She is crazy too and he according to details was relentlessly out of control. According to reports he beat her like he was engaged in man to man combat! Yeah he deserves something but so does she for own sanity... Rhianna "bad boys" are bad but not out of control! LEARN TO DISTINGUISH THE DIFFERENCE!

Posted by: simpleedirect | August 27, 2009 4:13 AM | Report abuse

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