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Posted at 8:02 AM ET, 08/ 4/2009

Kara DioGuardi Returning as 'Idol' Judge

By Nancy Kerr

Headlines: Katherine Jackson wins custody of Michael's three kids ... Kara DioGuardi returning as "American Idol" judge ... Wayne Brady to host "Let's Make a Deal" revival ... Dennis "Mr. Belding" Haskins left out of "Saved By the Bell" reunion ... Mary Lynn Rajskub of "24" (whose role in "Julie & Julia" is too small) marries a personal trainer in Vegas ... Reserve your Kate Gosselin wig early, lest it sell out before Halloween ... Get ready to celebrate Megan Fox Day, courtesy of E! ... Lestat leads Entertainment Weekly's vampire list.

Police blotter: Michael Douglas's son arrested in New York meth bust.

Pix: Jennifer Love Hewitt and her impractical footwear play tennis in Hawaii ... Nicolette Sheridan looks amazing in a bathing suit ... Jack Nicholson, not so much.

Rumor Mill: "Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer accused of ripping off plot ... Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly planning post-gubernatorial movie comeback ... Lou Ferrigno to join "Dancing with the Stars"? ... Did Jessica Simpson have dinner with John Mayer? ... Mayer stays klassy on Twitter ... Stan Lee says Michael Jackson may have wanted to play Spidey.

--Guest Celebritologist Lisa Todorovich

By Nancy Kerr  | August 4, 2009; 8:02 AM ET
 
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Comments

"Wayne Brady to host "Let's Make a Deal" revival." That's as stupid as anything that's ever been behind door number three.


I clicked on the link to Jennifer Love Hewitt and her impractical footwear but found myself staring at her shoes. Um, what was the question again?

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 4, 2009 8:26 AM | Report abuse

Because it was JLH's footwear that was impractical for a game of tennnis....


I hope the judges don't say anything to make Lou Ferrigno mad. They wouldn't like him when he's mad.


John Mayer wants to bed a tranny and claims to have gotten with 9 Sailor Moons at Comic Con? Five bucks says one of those Sailor Moons was the tranny he was looking for.


Happy Megan Fox Day everyone.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 4, 2009 8:50 AM | Report abuse

Michael Douglas' kid was dragged off to jail after trying unsuccessfully to get everyone at the hotel to start shouting "I am Spartacus."

Actually, you could cross the Cameron Douglas story with the Wayne Brady story and get a whole new meaning for the game show "Let's Make a Deal."

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 4, 2009 8:51 AM | Report abuse

John Mayer wants to go to bed with a Trans Am? Is he starting to feel his inner Hasselhoff?

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 4, 2009 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Man, John Mayer must be really great in bed considering the number of women who date him and still want him back after he moves on and on and on and on ....

Mary Lynn whatshername marries A personal trainer. Did she just pick one out and say "let's get married?"

Lizards, thanks to yesterday's conversation I got the song "Alouette" stuck in my head. I went to look up the English translation. If I ever have kids, I am not singing that sick little song to them.

Posted by: epjd | August 4, 2009 9:26 AM | Report abuse

Who's got the scoop on why Screech was not on the People Cover?

Posted by: Guest1234 | August 4, 2009 9:52 AM | Report abuse

Spartacus sum

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 4, 2009 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Good one, Dorkus, love the Hulk reference.

Thanks Lisa, that's the easiest Halloween costume yet. I'll buy that wig and nag Mr. Hodie up until the point he's ready to leave the party with the neighbors daughter. This will be fun!

Re Arnold returning to the big screen: He told us he'd be back.

Remind me what the male term for skank is? Is it John Mayer?

I think Drew Carey would do a better Let's Make a Deal but he's too busy spaying and neutering right now.

Posted by: hodie | August 4, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

"Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer accused of ripping off plot ...
- I've tried to watch the show. I'd say it's more like she's ripping up the plot.

That is not a picture of Jack Nicholson in a bathing suit but a picture of Jack trying out for "Dancing with the Stars."

Tom Arnold says his next film with Arnold Schwartzenegger is "not going to be called 'True Lies II,' but it might as well be."
- Some would say that after Arnie's gubernatorial reign it should be "True Lies III."

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 4, 2009 10:01 AM | Report abuse

Aside from the man-boobs, Jack doesn't look too bad for an old guy.

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 4, 2009 10:25 AM | Report abuse

I would never wear a Kate Gosselin wig for fear it would put an instant end to my sex life.

Posted by: kvs71 | August 4, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

BTW, is "Wayne Brady" the name of one of Greg's alter ego characters from his adolescent years?

Ponderingly,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 4, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Mudge - I think I remember that Wayne Brady was the "adopted" son who actually turned out to be the love child of Alice and Sam.

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 4, 2009 10:33 AM | Report abuse

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a b*tch?"

Still my favorite Chappell Show episode, though not enough to get me to watch Lets Make A Deal.

Posted by: zn123 | August 4, 2009 10:50 AM | Report abuse

EW - no - you do not get to make a 'vampire list' without Underworld's Kate Beckinsale. Seriously. No.

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | August 4, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

I would never wear a Kate Gosselin wig for fear it would put an instant end to my sex life.

Posted by: kvs71 | August 4, 2009 10:28 AM
----------
Not if John Mayer mistakes you for a tranny.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 4, 2009 10:57 AM | Report abuse

** I kept hoping the next Nicholson picture in the series was going to be him, floating like a white whale, smoking *and* with a brewski balanced on his belly. Life is just not fair.

** I think they should name an STD test after John Mayer. The test for syphilis is a Wasserman test; maybe the test for herpes could be called a Mayer test.

Posted by: memphis1 | August 4, 2009 10:57 AM | Report abuse

According to wiki, Jack Nicholson was born April 22, 1937. Yes, '37. And that makes him, um, 72 years old (right?)...I'd say he's looking darn good and moving well too. I hope I am doing as well at that age.

Posted by: VaLGaL | August 4, 2009 11:00 AM | Report abuse

qv, EW had two lists, men and women, Kate Beckinsale is on the women's list.

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20153312_20153315_20295015,00.html

Posted by: zn123 | August 4, 2009 11:01 AM | Report abuse

I hate to burst a couple of bubbles today but no, Jack Nicholson does not look good for his age. Mudge and VaL need some new bifocals. Talented--definitely. Beautemous--most definitely not.

Posted by: jelo97 | August 4, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

I'm afraid to click on the Jack Nicholson link, if its the same photo that was on the Daily Mail website last week with his ample "moobs" flopping about, then I'm gonna have to agree with jelo97. He does not look good.

Posted by: zn123 | August 4, 2009 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Fat, old, whatever - Jack is one cool dude. He's lovin' life and not taking things too seriously....

(recent quote)

"With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and seventy."

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 4, 2009 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Ya think the Jack moobs are scary -- nothing seared my eyeballs worse than seeing Gerard Depardieu sans any clothing except a pair o' Crocs. There isn't enough brain bleach.

How did two such gorgeous people as Michael and Diandra Douglas produce such a singularly unattractive son? Yikes.

Posted by: Californian11 | August 4, 2009 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Californian
How did two such gorgeous people as Michael and Diandra Douglas produce such a singularly unattractive son?

Regression to the norm?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 4, 2009 1:50 PM | Report abuse

How did two such gorgeous people as Michael and Diandra Douglas produce such a singularly unattractive son? Yikes.

Posted by: Californian11 | August 4, 2009 1:15 PM
---------------
I dunno. It's hard to look good when you're strung out on something. Then again, that's one messed up kid for which Ryan O'Neal cannot take credit.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 4, 2009 1:59 PM | Report abuse

There's something about Kara DioGuardi that makes me cringe. I dunno...may it be that she is too full of herself? I haven't even heard of her until American Idol...

Posted by: info40 | August 4, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

hodie,

From the Lizard Glossary of Terms:

Male skank – (1) a stank; (2) a horn dog; (3) the boy version of a skank

Male skanq – a French horn dog

It's good to be a pack rat.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 4, 2009 3:43 PM | Report abuse

thanks Mudge, I think everyone will agree we can use "John Mayer" as definition #4.

Posted by: hodie | August 4, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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