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Posted at 8:25 AM ET, 08/ 6/2009

Steven Tyler Injured After Stage Fall

By Nancy Kerr

Headlines: Steven Tyler taken to hospital after falling off stage in South Dakota. ... Judge delays Chris Brown sentencing...Jude Law's latest baby mama (that we know of) Samantha Burke is a former Hooters girl ... Method Man explains that BB gun target practice on a tour bus can be dangerous ... "True Blood's" Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer engaged ... Ashley Olsen surprised she didn't end up like Britney (don't worry, there's still time).

Reality TV Roundup: Susan Boyle gets Harper's Bazaar makeover...Is Paula Adbul headed to "So You Think You Can Dance"? ... Randy Jackson "shocked" by Paua Abdul's departure from "Idol"... Will Victoria Beckham replace Paula?

Rumor Mill: Ed Swiderski cheating on "Bachelorette" Jillian Harris...Leighton Meester says she was never in a sex tape ... More racy pics of possibly clothes-phobic Vanessa Hudgens surface ... Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem expecting ... Jon Gosselin also dating nanny?

Bonus: Christina Hendricks's photo shoot for Esquire another reminder that "Mad Men" can't return soon enough.

-- Guest Celebritologist Paul Williams

By Nancy Kerr  | August 6, 2009; 8:25 AM ET
 
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Comments

"Stephanie Santoros - a cocktail waitress at Jon's favorite sports bar, aspiring model and single mother.."

Okay, I'll be the jerk who says it. Aspiring model? Does this girl not see a difference between her looks and let's say the other models of the world.

And, before you ask, I am average looking and I know it!

Posted by: supersonic2 | August 6, 2009 8:41 AM | Report abuse

Steven Tyler: "That, that, that, dude, he took a stage dive."


"Judge delays Chris Brown sentencing." He's considering the expert testimony asdf53 offered in this forum yesterday. It will take two days just to convert the post to something coherent.


"Jude Law's baby mama is a former Hooters girl." And a future one.


"Ashley Olsen surprised she didn't end up like Britney (don't worry, there's still time)." Especially if by "like Britney" she meant drunk, naked and screaming "Put a baby in me!" at K-Fed.
(Your MORNING IMAGE OF THE DAY is brought to you by Jose Cuervo. Jose Cuervo, because there's always time for regrets - later.)

"Ed Swiderski cheating on "Bachelorette" Jillian Harris." Isn't Ed Swiderski one of those guys in the old SNL "Da BEARS" sketches?


"Jon Gosselin also dating nanny?" Somewhere, Ethan Hawke just stopped dead in his tracks, a strange look on his face.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 6, 2009 8:45 AM | Report abuse

Those Christina Hendricks pictures: somewhere, a Bishop just kicked out a stained-glass window.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 6, 2009 8:49 AM | Report abuse

Hmmm...we have a Hooters girl, an Olsen twin photo shoot, a sex tape, naked pics, and an article on Christina Hendricks. Yep you can tell when Producer Paul is running the show.

By the way Producer Paul, did you know that Scarlett Johansson has a twin.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-08-05/hidden-twins/?cid=hp:mainpromo7#

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 6, 2009 8:50 AM | Report abuse

"Stephanie Santoros - a cocktail waitress at Jon's favorite sports bar, aspiring model and single mother.."

Okay, I'll be the jerk who says it. Aspiring model? Does this girl not see a difference between her looks and let's say the other models of the world.

Posted by: supersonic2 | August 6, 2009 8:41 AM

Maybe the type of modeling she's trying to break into doesn't require her face to be photographed.

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 8:50 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus,

a) I have no idea what you are implying.

b) Of course I did.

-Paul

Posted by: paujwill | August 6, 2009 9:01 AM | Report abuse

"Ashley Olsen surprised she didn't end up like Britney (don't worry, there's still time)." In Ashley's defense, she and her sister enjoyed their widest popularity while they were a lot younger than Britney, and they were never encouraged to sell their sexuality. (Or if they were, they didn't.) By the time they were teens, they had largely faded into the business side of the business, and the image they sold was that of their younger selves. They didn't really reappear in film until they were about 20, and even then they weren't (essentially) selling their bodies; Britney was writhing like a go-go dancer on MTV at the age of 16. That, and whatever mental health issues she might have, Britney's crazy will always be crazier.

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 9:03 AM | Report abuse

Steven Tyler fell off the stage while performing "Love in an Elevator" - talk about going down! Who told him to walk that way?

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Excellent observation, supersonic. I, too, am a little surprised that she's an aspiring model. Then again, maybe that's what passes for "hott" in the middle of Nowheresville. Maybe she could become a Hooters girl and have Jude Law's baby.

Posted by: surlychick | August 6, 2009 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Steven Tyler fell off the stage while performing "Love in an Elevator" - talk about going down! Who told him to walk that way?

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Now he' cryin'

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 6, 2009 9:35 AM | Report abuse

*clears throat* My cousin was a Hooters girl in college. She has a near Christina Hendricks figure, a Julia Roberts smile, eyes that are huge gorgeous and a blue-green-gray color all their own...and she now has a baby and a PhD.

The pay is decent, the tips are astounding (one summer and a few weeks between terms always took her through the academic year for books and spending money), and the management protects those girls like you wouldn't believe. (My uncle wouldn't even let her interview without talking to the manager first.) If you got it, flaunt it. (Though I am still annoyed by Samantha Burke - who holds a press conference to announce they are illegitimately pregnant by someone famous and just wants to be left alone?)

Per Christina Hendricks - every time I see these types of photos of her, it just makes me wish a stylist would scoop her up. She's so beautiful with that amazing figure, but she seems to have a problem dressing herself, since most fashion is not built for women with figures like that. But maybe that's why stylists don't scoop her up.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | August 6, 2009 9:45 AM | Report abuse

You know Chasmosaur, if a stylist doesn't want to scoop Christina Hendricks up, I'd be happy to scoop her up.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 6, 2009 9:55 AM | Report abuse

damn! northgs stole my Steven Tyler line.

Dorkus, I thought Scarlett was cloned. Been awhile since we've seen the "Scarlett was cloned" post anyway.

Yeah Ashley, anorexic is sooo much better.

Poor Randy, as usual in the dark. Couldn't see Simon twisting that knife in Paula's back. I'm sure Simon will get along smashingly with the Ice Princess, Posh.

Jon must be a recent graduate of the Mayer/Armstrong school of dating. Hope he paid attention in the "How not to become Jude Law" course. (Hey, no need to go for the Armstrong extra-credit).

Posted by: hodie | August 6, 2009 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus, you are as bad as Producer Paul.

Hi Paul. Very guy friendly Mix today. Quelle surprise.

Yep, celebs are not just like regular people. We don't have to deny sex tapes.

Posted by: epjd | August 6, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

An aspiring hand model perhaps? Some of the Ashley photos are not too bad.

Any mention of Hooters reminds me of South Park and the way Butters Scotch was manipulated by Lexus, the cute waitress at Raisins.

Christina Hendricks--Mad Men--awesomeness.

Posted by: jelo97 | August 6, 2009 10:01 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus -

I think my husband would probably mow you down if you tried. He's loved her since "Our Mrs. Reynolds" on Firefly. Can't say I blame him, really, since I'd scoop up Nathan Fillion...

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | August 6, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Steven Tyler fell off the stage while performing "Love in an Elevator" - talk about going down! Who told him to walk that way?

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Now he' cryin'

Posted by: GroovisMaximus61 | August 6, 2009 9:35 AM

Groovis, he lived it up 'til he hit the ground.

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Chasmo, I loved CH on Firefly and I love her on Life as well.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 6, 2009 10:21 AM | Report abuse

Newsflash Lizards: 21 Jump street is now available on Hulu. Young Johnny Depp, yumm.

Posted by: epjd | August 6, 2009 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Paul
Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardeem expecting.

I wonder what Javier Barden must think.


Dorkus
if a stylist doesn't want to scoop Christina Hendricks up, I'd be happy to scoop her up.

Can you hang on till the fall term resumes at U/T, kiddo?


Chasmo
I'd scoop up Nathan Fillion...

You'll have to rassle me for him first :-)


Susan Boyle gets Harper's Bazaar makeover.

Yay, Susan! Hope she's getting the hang of this celeb thing, now that she's had a few months' practice. She still looks like Susan, only better. I bet most of the women on this blog (at least those of us of a certain age!) would love to get a makeover like hers.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Um, maybe those Christina Hendricks pics should be labeled NSFW for the men folk? Don't want them to embarrass themselves.

Posted by: kvs09 | August 6, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Oops, Bardem. Producer Paul and I BOTH clearly need more caffeine this morning!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Speaking of Method Man (among others)...

A good bit of this article from WaPo's partner Slate would never make it past the Post censoring software: "Does This Purple Mink Make Me Look Gay? The rise of no homo and the changing face of hip-hop homophobia"
http://www.slate.com/id/2224348/pagenum/all/#p2

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Producer Paul, love your music, man.

Jon Gosselin is known for his taste in women.

Posted by: reddragon1 | August 6, 2009 10:42 AM | Report abuse

"Stephanie Santoros - a cocktail waitress at Jon's favorite sports bar, aspiring model and single mother.."

Okay, I'll be the jerk who says it. Aspiring model? Does this girl not see a difference between her looks and let's say the other models of the world.

And, before you ask, I am average looking and I know it!

Posted by: supersonic2 | August 6, 2009 8:41 AM |
==============
I'm just aghast at the poor sentance structure. I can understand aspiring to be a model but who aspires to be a single mother?

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 6, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

I hope the fall didn't hurt Stephen Tyler's Big Ten-Inch...

Sorry. It was just out there, like low-hanging, er, fruit....

OK, I'll stop now.

Posted by: memphis1 | August 6, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

I'm just aghast at the poor sentance structure. I can understand aspiring to be a model but who aspires to be a single mother?

Posted by: mdreader01 |

*********************************************

Octo-mom?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 6, 2009 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Stephen Tyler better watch out - it's easy to break your hip in the Golden Years.

Posted by: kabuki3 | August 6, 2009 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Susan Boyle glams up in Harper's Bazaar wearing Michael Kors.

- Kors will now be insufferable during those Project Runway "real woman" challenges.

"Ed Swiderski cheating on "Bachelorette" Jillian Harris..."

- That's ok. After they get married, have fertility treatments and get a reality TV deal with TLC, everything will work itself out.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 6, 2009 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Editor's Note: Thanks, Nosy_Parker. Bardem is fixed.

Posted by: Nancy_Kerr | August 6, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Nancy, Don't feel bad. I didn't get his last name correct on the first try this morning, either.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Since so many celeb nannies end up sleeping with their employers, they seem to be less nannies and more ... well, the world's oldest profession?

So I see VF can't resist the old "spinster" label for Susan Boyle. "She lives with just her cat, Pebbles ... " JUST. I had no idea we still lived in such a Victorian age.

Posted by: Californian11 | August 6, 2009 12:02 PM | Report abuse

What's wrong with being an "aspiring model?"

I'm an "aspiring Mrs. Jon Bon Jovi!" Yeah, it'll never happen but I can still "aspire" can't I?"

Or am I thinking of per-spire?

Posted by: wadejg | August 6, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

BTW, what's the deal about the "attempted" stalking of Miley Cyrus?

How does one attempt stalking and how is this illegal?

Sincerely,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 6, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Oh, Mudge, that one was seriously creepy. The FIFTY-THREE year old guy tried to break into the closed movie set where she is filming claming he was secretly engaged to Miley.

So, attempted stalking is he took a substantial step towards stalking her but was stopped before things got too bad. Attempt is just legalese. THank goodness the cops didn't wait until something actually happened.

Posted by: epjd | August 6, 2009 1:11 PM | Report abuse

ep
THank goodness the cops didn't wait until something actually happened.

Copy that!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Now, wait a minute.

I sure don't want the police to go around arresting people just in case something happens.

This Miley nut was tresspassing and perhaps threatening people. So, take him in for that - not "attempted stalking", fer crst sakes.

Glad There's No Longer a Star Chamber,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 6, 2009 3:11 PM | Report abuse

If you are claiming you are secretly engaged to an teenage girl, I am thinking that satisfies stalking statutes.

Attempted murder, you are stopped before you shoot someone. Say someone breaks into a house with a loaded gun intent on killing the occupant. You want that guy to just get charged with B & E? Nope, you want attempted murder so he stays in jail for a looooooong time.

Posted by: epjd | August 6, 2009 3:23 PM | Report abuse

When do you suppose the celebrity press will figure out that Jon Gosselin is not a celebrity?

Ick. Nast big time on the Myley stalker -- 53?

One of my apprentices (four footed furry kind) is going in for surgery right about now--keep the good thought for us my fellow lizards!

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 6, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

ep,

How do we know that the guy breaking in with the gun intended to kill the occupant? Still sounds like B&E, whether I like it or not.

But, you're the one with the LLD on your wall, so I bow to expert opinion.

The Miley nut certainly is creepy, though. But if that were against the law, Glen Beck would be in prison.

Sincerely,

Curmudgeon

PS: sorry for the serious chatter - please, carry on, Lizards

Posted by: bmschumacher | August 6, 2009 3:46 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat, I'm radiating good thoughts toward you. I just went through that a few months ago with my dog. The first few days after the surgery are the worse, he was in a cast and I had to carry his heavy a$$ outside to potty. One morning I lost my balance and fell on my patio with him in my arms. Never dropped him though.

Posted by: zn123 | August 6, 2009 3:51 PM | Report abuse

Sorcerer's_cat, I'm sending good vibes your way! Hope the furball is okay!

Posted by: northgs | August 6, 2009 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Oh my. I just got an evite:

Come enjoy a girls night with wine, light salads, appetizers and jewelry at half-off prices! Lia Sophia is one of todays hottest jewelry lines seen on everyone from Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, the Kardashian sisters, Eva Longoria, Kate Hudson, Beyonce, casts of Ugly Betty, Gossip Girl, 90210, Sex and the City and many more! Feel free to bring guests, the more the merrier! As a guest of this jewelry extravaganza you are entitled to Lia Sophia's August Special, buy two get two half off (your half-off items are the MOST expensive!)

It seems this jewelry designer furnishes the entire passenger list of the Manhattan Project. No thanks.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 6, 2009 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Miley's not just a teenager, isn't she also still a minor? Ick.Ick.Nast.Nast.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Best wishes to the hairball. Maybe frieda can weigh in with some tips, since you're always providing us Lizards with free medical consults here.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 3:57 PM | Report abuse

sorcerer's_cat: It seems this jewelry designer furnishes the entire passenger list of the Manhattan Project. No thanks.

Yes, I would stay away. The trinkets are really markers for those who will be taken by the Manhattan Project. Need to get them in the goody bags at the next MTV awards.

Well wishes to your pet! (a cat?)

Posted by: hodie | August 6, 2009 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Thanks Nosy and Hodie, yep he's a cat. And he's still in surgery. :(

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 6, 2009 5:17 PM | Report abuse

Good energy and speedy recovery to your four-footed furry apprentice, sorcerers_cat!

"Thank goodness the cops didn't wait until something actually happened." .... Yet another way in which celebs are not like us. With the regular folk, not a whole heap is done even after something happens. And happens. And happens ....

Posted by: Californian11 | August 6, 2009 5:20 PM | Report abuse

Thanks Californian! Mid-way report from the hospital is good, but still waiting for the post-op report. No cancer, they did find a "foreign object" but haven't yet identified it. Since not a single specialist had seen anything like it on the X-Ray or the Ultrasound, I'm extremely curious. Waiting is hell.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | August 6, 2009 6:13 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat, "not cancer" is encouraging. Hoping for the best outcome.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 6, 2009 8:09 PM | Report abuse

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