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Posted at 11:05 AM ET, 08/12/2009

Rachel Zoe Moves in on Gwyneth's GOOP

By Liz Kelly

Fashion icon (ahem) Rachel Zoe. (Getty Images)

Rut-roh. Move over Gwyneth, there's something leaner. Literally. Paper-thin stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe, she of the protruding collar bone and jarringly floofy fur vests, has one-upped GOOPy Gwyneth Paltrow's weekly lifestyle missives with the launch of The Zoe Report, "a daily e-mail featuring my current obsessions in the ever-evolving worlds of fashion, beauty, and lifestyle."

What to expect? Tread lightly if you're looking for practical fashion help. Zoe's recent recommendations include a $2,400 capelet from designer Prabal Gurung, $525 sunglasses and -- at the ridiculous price of $295 -- shredded t-shirts. Don't look for these items at the local mall, though Zoe does get points for including links to (somewhat) cheaper alternatives.

Have these women never heard of Etsy or dozens of other moderately-priced Internet stockers of indie haute stuff?

Thus far, a fashion coffee table book -- Scott Schuman's "The Sartorialist" -- is the sole lifestyle recommendation. But if Zoe's reality show is any indication, recommendations for profligate spending, annoying assistants and a surgically attached Starbucks lattes likely loom on the editorial calendar.

By Liz Kelly  | August 12, 2009; 11:05 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrity Products, Fashion  
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Comments

A $295 shredded t-shirt is bad, true, but I can't count the number of times the Style section on Sunday has babbled on about "cutting back in a recession" with "cheap" clothes and then featured ten pairs of jeans priced between $100 - $200.

A least we already KNOW this lady is out of touch.

Posted by: zeureka | August 12, 2009 11:12 AM | Report abuse

Is this cuckoo bird one of the signs that Nostradamus predicted? Quatrains, anyone?

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 12, 2009 11:15 AM | Report abuse

There Can Be Only One. Zoe will feel the wrath of the Goop.

Posted by: arleneivana | August 12, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Has anyone else ever noticed that since the accusations of how grossly thin she is, that this woman always keeps 3/4 of her face and body covered by hair and clothes?

Posted by: LTL1 | August 12, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Well, what you definitely *won't* get in The zoe Report are recipes for lentil and sweet potato salad. Or anything else involving calories, for that matter.

Posted by: northgs | August 12, 2009 11:35 AM | Report abuse

The Rachel Zoe Diet

1. Spend 90% of your money on fashion.

2. Develop an unhealthy neurosis.

3. Do not stand still at parties.

4. Develop strong biceps by transferring designer duds to padded hangers.

5. Develop strong triceps by waving your arms about when you argue with your husband.

6. Be sure to ice your right wrist after a day of putting creditors on hold, then accidentally cutting them off.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 11:40 AM | Report abuse

She better watch out when leaving the house in that vest. PETA people may take it to be a dead sheepdog around her shoulders and throw red paint at her.

I think my mother owned that same dress (which I do like) back in 1972.

Posted by: hodie | August 12, 2009 11:41 AM | Report abuse

I say because she is a fashion "icon" she is fair game to critique.
Hair = a very bad style
Fur = politically incorrect and ugly
Dress = looks like something my grandmother wore in the 1970's
I would think an outfit like that would reduce her street cred in the fashion world a great deal.

Posted by: Iowahoosier | August 12, 2009 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Hodie,
We were writing at the same time. It IS a 1970's dress, I thought so.

Posted by: Iowahoosier | August 12, 2009 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Century IV Quatrain 22

The great army will be chased out,
In one moment it will be needed by the King:
The faith promised from afar will be broken,
He will be seen naked in pitiful disorder.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 12, 2009 11:50 AM | Report abuse

In retrospect, Century IV Quatrain 33 might be more apropos:

Jupiter joined more to Venus than to the Moon
Appearing with white fulness:
Venus hidden under the whiteness of Neptune
Struck by Mars through the white stew.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 12, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Please, no questions. The meanings should be perfectly clear.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 12, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

I love Etsy. I love it so much that I don't want celebs and *ahem* fashion icons to come in and mess everything up. It's like when you used to follow a cool relatively unknown indie band and then you stop going to their concerts because you don't want to fight through the throngs of screaming teenage fangirls.

Posted by: eet7e | August 12, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Please, no questions. The meanings should be perfectly clear.

Posted by: byoolin1 | August 12, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Bravo! LOL!

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 12, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the Etsy plug Liz. Yes, I am a seller there. Quilted items (no clothing, home decor type stuff).

As for Zoe, perhaps we would follow her fashion advice if she exhibited some fashion sense. That fur thing is beyond fugly.

Posted by: epjd | August 12, 2009 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Booylin,

Usually, I agree with you on these sorts of matters. But my random Nostradamus quatrain generator came up with what I believe is the most accurate prediction:

For the merry maid the bright splendor
Will shine no longer, for long will she be without salt:
With merchants, bullies, wolves odious,
All confusion universal monster.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Booylin,

Usually, I agree with you on these sorts of matters. But my random Nostradamus quatrain generator came up with what I believe is the most accurate prediction:

For the merry maid the bright splendor
Will shine no longer, for long will she be without salt:
With merchants, bullies, wolves odious,
All confusion universal monster.


Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse


That's about Eva Braun.

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 12, 2009 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Iowahoosier, great minds think alike!

Posted by: hodie | August 12, 2009 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Oh, please.

The GOOP newsletter is amusing because it's a peek inside the thoughts of an insanely privileged woman who doesn't recognize exactly how privileged she is and has been. (Her godfather is Steven Spielberg, for God's sake.) Gwyneth Paltrow really thinks she's contributing tips that are affordable and usable to the average reader's lifestyle. (Though, yeah, okay, some of the recipes she provides - either hers or her acquaintances = look worth attempting, I'll give her that.)

If Rachel Zoe has a newsletter, it's just a way to expand upon her personal brand. Nothing wrong with that in this day and age, but since I could give a cr@p about her brand and style, then it doesn't have a smidgen of the unintentional irony of a GOOP newsletter. And that's what makes GOOP amusing and widely read.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | August 12, 2009 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Oh I think there's some unintentional irony here.

"As with most beautifully produced volumes, I recommend displaying The Sartorialist out in the open, it will instantly add an element of style to any space. Also, it’s the perfect size to carry on a plane—jet set inspiration!"

Or this--

"If you can get the visual of me as a tween, skating at the roller rink in red satin pants, a spandex tube top and gold headband, you’ll know why I’m so obsessed over these shades....Barton Perreira Starlet Sunglasses ($525)"

To her credit, she offers us a "parallel universe" option, American Apparel glasses at $50.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Booylin,

Usually, I agree with you on these sorts of matters. But my random Nostradamus quatrain generator came up with what I believe is the most accurate prediction:

For the merry maid the bright splendor
Will shine no longer, for long will she be without salt:
With merchants, bullies, wolves odious,
All confusion universal monster.


Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse


That's about Eva Braun.

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 12, 2009 12:52 PM
===========

What's wrong with recycling Nostradamus?

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Oh I think there's some unintentional irony here.

"As with most beautifully produced volumes, I recommend displaying The Sartorialist out in the open, it will instantly add an element of style to any space. Also, it’s the perfect size to carry on a plane—jet set inspiration!"
**************************
I bet she has faux books lining the shelves in her pad to give the illusion of being studious and well-read.

Or this--

"If you can get the visual of me as a tween, skating at the roller rink in red satin pants, a spandex tube top and gold headband, you’ll know why I’m so obsessed over these shades....Barton Perreira Starlet Sunglasses ($525)"

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 12, 2009 2:55 PM | Report abuse
*************************
I think a blood vessel just burst in my brain.

Posted by: jelo97 | August 12, 2009 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Quick! What's the first song that pops into your mind when you look at that vest???


"They say we're young and we don't know..."

Posted by: kbockl | August 12, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

kbockl, good one!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 12, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

I don't get her style at all. When I see her outfits, I think "Fug".

But what do I know? I like black shirts and jeans.

Posted by: Guest1234 | August 12, 2009 4:53 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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