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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/13/2009

Shiantology: The Cult of LaBeouf

By Liz Kelly

(Image courtesy Shiantology.com)

I think it's fair to say that many of us deify celebrities. Me, I'm currently worshipping at the altar of Jon Hamm. But Shia LaBeouf lovers Jennifer and Betsy (who don't want their last names included here) channeled their celeb crush into Internet phenomenon du jour Shiantology.com -- a site that not only tracks the "Transformers" star, but elevates him -- literally -- to godlike status.

Last week, I corresponded with the surprisingly sane Jennifer and Betsy to get the site's "creashian" (sorry) story. Read on...

Liz: Why Shia LaBeouf?

Jennifer and Betsy: We couldn't resist those Jewish curls, his fondness for iced tea and plaid shirts and those kind eyes that reach into your soul. Plus we feel like [with] his off-beat humor (um, Playboy interview, anyone?) [he] would think it's hilarious. A bit creepy, maybe. But he loves a good creep.

Liz: Why religious iconography?

Jennifer and Betsy: Well once the name "Shiantology" came to us, it was pretty obvious that the religion factor had to come into play. We're not trying to disrespect or offend anyone, we just think it's incredibly amusing to see Shia's head on Jesus, Mary, Shiva.... and yes, Kevin Costner. We're working on an L. Ron. Hubbeouf icon as we speak. No offense, Tom Cruise.

Liz: What is the site's creation story?

Jennifer and Betsy: The creashian story, you mean? Well, we launched our Twitter profile first and would just tweet Shia news or links to photos as they came up around the Internet. As we started to get more followers we thought it might be fun to start our own website so we snapped up the domain name and started posting! Now, we post new pics of him daily (look, he walks! he runs! he even smiles!) Now we have a loyal following of Shiantologists from around the globe!

Liz: Have you had any reaction from Shia?

Jennifer and Betsy: Not yet! I'm sure he's in the process of filing restraining orders against us as we speak, but there's really no need. We only camp outside his house on weekends. We are curious as to what he thinks about the site, though. Shiarly he can see the absurd hilarity! Can you ask him for us? Thanks.

Liz: If Shia is the Jesus-like center of this belief system, who would be the anti-Shia?

Jennifer and Betsy: Perez Hilton, without a doubt. We get the feeling he has a secret crush on LaBeouf but attempts to conceal his passion by calling him Shia LaDouche. Can't pull the wool over our eyes, Perez. We think he's just jealous he doesn't have his own religion yet.

By Liz Kelly  | August 13, 2009; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Extreme Fans  
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Comments

Or maybe it's just a $hiantolocult.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 11:11 AM | Report abuse

[he] would think it's hilarious. A bit creepy, maybe. But he loves a good creep.

Who doesn't love a good creep?! But seriously, what do they mean by that??

Posted by: hodie | August 13, 2009 11:18 AM | Report abuse

I personally have always has a weakness for men with a fondness for iced tea.

Seriously?

Posted by: suzannepdc | August 13, 2009 11:21 AM | Report abuse

What about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, with all his noodly appendages? (Mmmm, I could use some lunch 'round about now).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Something tells me this religion not only allows the use of psychotropic drugs, but encourages it.

Posted by: epjd | August 13, 2009 11:36 AM | Report abuse

I've been worshiping him (in a non-gay way) since Even Stevens. Does that make me an arch-bishiap in Shiatology?

Posted by: yellojkt | August 13, 2009 11:36 AM | Report abuse

I'm officially old. I just don't think Shia LeBeouf is overly hot or unusually talented. (Not saying he sucks, but I don't think he's exactly an acting legend.)

Now, if someone had a GaryOldmantology site? I'd be all over that.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | August 13, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

I propose a counter religion: Shania-tology, in which push-up bras and country-pop are venerated.

Posted by: molsonmich | August 13, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

I agree with Chasmosaur! He's fine, but he seems like side-kick material, not a generation's biggest action hero, but that's what he appears to be!

Now if someone had a Harrison Ford site (and a time machine, so I could travel back to the 80's and relive my worship) :)

Posted by: talleyl | August 13, 2009 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I'm embarrassed by this, but my middle-aged self thinks Shia is adorable. But don't tell my kids.

Posted by: jaybbub | August 13, 2009 12:27 PM | Report abuse

He was great as the dorky kid in "Holes." (Underrated movie with Sigourney Weaver, John Voigt, Dule Hill. Check it out.)
Since then, whatever.

Posted by: Roxie1 | August 13, 2009 12:28 PM | Report abuse

I'm sorry. I'm a praticing Shatologist. The Shatner is my god because he saveth me from booking fees.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 13, 2009 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I personally enjoy the tounge in cheek of Jennifer and Betsy. If I were savy enough, I would do the same for Joel McHale.

Posted by: Osteph | August 13, 2009 12:32 PM | Report abuse

And seriously, who doesn't appreciate the humor in the post they had about him buying his new house:

"What would you give Shia for a house warming gift? We would give him a unicorn floaty for his swimming pool, an AZ Iced Tea fountain for the kitchen and a mirror to put above his bed."


Posted by: Osteph | August 13, 2009 12:35 PM | Report abuse

good stuff.

it would be awesome if someone created something like this for mel gibson (in a totally non-fan, snarky, sarcastic way, of course).

Posted by: memphis1 | August 13, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse

The gay subtext is a scream.

Posted by: jezebel3 | August 13, 2009 12:49 PM | Report abuse

Who are these people? should I care? If so, why?

Posted by: kabuki3 | August 13, 2009 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Oh man, lolarious. Wonderful and mildly insane- reminds me a little of Stephen Colbert.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | August 13, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Also, every time he's mentioned it gives me an opportunity to break out the related "Simpsons" quote.

Homer: Shia LaBeouf. He's not quite a jock; he's not quite a nerd! He's Shia LaBeouf!

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | August 13, 2009 1:39 PM | Report abuse

This is the greatest thing since Presleytarianism.

Posted by: reddragon1 | August 13, 2009 2:00 PM | Report abuse

"LaBeouf" might also make a great name for a hair style or type of poodle.

Posted by: kvs09 | August 13, 2009 2:48 PM | Report abuse

"LaBeouf"?

Ne parle pas français! LeBœuf, dammit!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 3:12 PM | Report abuse

Well then, what would "LaBeouf" Bourguignon be?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 3:14 PM | Report abuse

Well then, what would "LaBeouf" Bourguignon be?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 3:14 PM
================
Beouf Bourguignon served in LA, of course.

NOLaBeouf Bourguignon is what Brad Pitt would serve when Shia comes to visit him and the misses in the Big Easy.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 13, 2009 6:19 PM | Report abuse

What about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, with all his noodly appendages? (Mmmm, I could use some lunch 'round about now).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 13, 2009 11:25 AM
=================
Holly Madison's dress in the previous post is a total tribute to the FSM.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 13, 2009 6:22 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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