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Posted at 10:40 AM ET, 08/21/2009

Why Jen Should Feel Screwed Over by Us

By Liz Kelly

(Image courtesy Us Weekly)

Because one romantic rival wasn't enough, Jennifer Aniston now has a second, or so sayeth Us Weekly. If you're not familiar with Us, it's the mag in your grocery checkout line that usually has Jon and Kate Gosselin on the cover. This week, tho, Us features a smirking Renee Zellweger alongside a vulnerable Ansiston with the headline "Why He Chose Renee." The online version is a bit more blunt, headlining the barely-sourced scoop: " EXCLUSIVE: Jennifer Aniston Feels 'Screwed Over' by Bradley Cooper."

Cooper, breakout star of "The Hangover" and wicked awesome movie trivia game player, apparently had the chutzpah to have dinner with Aniston in June, then break her already banged-up heart by taking up with Zellweger several weeks later.

Per Us's source (a "pal"):

"She [Aniston] wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something ... she honestly feels screwed over. [Aniston] doesn't see what Renee has that she doesn't."

Okay. Enough already. I'll admit that I've done nothing to finally put to rest the long-past-its-expiration-date Brangelina vs. Jen rivalry, but at least Jen was actually married to the guy in question. And there was some actual stepping out going on there. And although I'm more of an Angie-phile, I can see how Jen might still be smarting from the whole experience.

But to suggest that one dinner -- or even a few PDA pix from Spain -- translates into commitment is a little bit much. Even for Us.

By Liz Kelly  | August 21, 2009; 10:40 AM ET
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The one time Renee doesn't look like she is sucking a lemon, it is for this.

Jen really needs to get back to being known for doing something more than dating.

Posted by: epjd | August 21, 2009 10:55 AM | Report abuse

But Jen still has great hair.

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

"[Aniston] doesn't see what Renee has that she doesn't."

A personality, brains, wit, interests outside oneself? Sometimes a good personality really is more desirable than just good looks plus self-absorption.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 21, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Surely we can conclude by now that Jen encourages and thrives upon this coverage?

Posted by: tomtildrum | August 21, 2009 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Personally, both of them make my skin crawl, but I'd really like to wipe that smirk off Renee's face. I'm not a violent type of guy, and I've certainly never hit a woman, but I think I'd make an exception for her.

Posted by: kabuki3 | August 21, 2009 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Don't worry. Bradley Cooper isn't going to end up with either of them. He's saving himself for me.

Posted by: yellojkt | August 21, 2009 11:14 AM | Report abuse

If I were Bradley Cooper I'd aim higher than bland-and-needy or odd-and-squinty. Then again, I don't get his appeal either.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | August 21, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

The only smirk Jen needs to remove from a face is the one on Spencer Pratt's. It would be a gift for all humanity.

Posted by: mdreader01 | August 21, 2009 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else read the headline, and wonder what the heck we did to Jen Chaney?

Posted by: molsonmich | August 21, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Did "we" use a blade-head, phillips-head or torx-head screwdriver?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | August 21, 2009 12:12 PM | Report abuse

What is up with Renee Zellweger's face? I can't remember exactly when, but she started looking different (and not in a good way). Has she had plastic surgery, and if so, what exactly would someone do to get a fact that looks like that?

ps US Weekly is clearly run by one (or more) of those gossip mongering girls in high school who always wanted to start a fire where there isn't one.

Posted by: caroleg1 | August 21, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Wow, Nosy, how exactly are you so privy to such intimate details of Renee and Jen's personalities? WAIT! Are YOU Bradley Cooper?? Sorry, but it's very irritating when people presume to know all about celebrities' lives and personalities when all you are being fed is stuff from magazines. If you are dumb enough to think the way these people come off in interviews is the real person, well, you're dumb enough.

Posted by: spret07 | August 21, 2009 12:22 PM | Report abuse

epjd said: "The one time Renee doesn't look like she is sucking a lemon, it is for this."

Yeah, but now she looks like she's just before showing you the giant butcher's knife she has at her side....

Posted by: memphis1 | August 21, 2009 12:28 PM | Report abuse


did you take a wrong turn somewhere and wind up here?

it's what we do, dear.

Posted by: memphis1 | August 21, 2009 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Is it just me or have we been attracting more haters than usual lately?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | August 21, 2009 12:36 PM | Report abuse

BREAKING NEWS.... Brad Cooper and an unidentified woman (Plamar) were spotted canoodling over dinner at Oceanaire in DC. Later Brad would only confirm that his date was not Jen or Renee but a woman who has stolen his heart. Alas her situation is complicated since she can't leave her husband and children... stay tuned for more news!

Posted by: plamar1031 | August 21, 2009 12:52 PM | Report abuse

This whole manufactured triangle is much ado about nothing because the Jen-Brad-Angelina triangle is so far past its sell-by date. The media thrives on painting Jen, who by all accounts seems fabulous, grounded, nice, and well-liked, as some kind of victim who "can't get a man". It's ludicrous and sexist IMHO. Jen usually takes the high road and I hope she will roll her eyes, call a girlfriend to vent and do the same here.

Posted by: Californian11 | August 21, 2009 1:00 PM | Report abuse

plamar, I'll only get worried if you're spotted canoodling with John Mayer.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | August 21, 2009 1:02 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: nall92 | August 21, 2009 1:37 PM | Report abuse

If one dinner is all it takes to have a committment from Jennifer Anniston, I'd better hie my azz out to LA pronto!

Posted by: ronjaboy | August 21, 2009 2:36 PM | Report abuse

What does this have to do with Michael Jackson?
Can we get back to something important now?


Posted by: lostinthemiddle | August 21, 2009 9:35 PM | Report abuse

I'm not a fan of Aniston, but my eyes burn whenever I see a photo of Zellweger.

Posted by: rw-c | August 22, 2009 8:16 AM | Report abuse

I just don't buy that Jennifer Aniston even cares. It's not like she just began dating, she and Pitt have been split up for years and in the meantime she's dated Vince Vaughn and John Mayer and others. I think she knows that dinner is just dinner. Why anyone would believe that she has a "pal" who knows her innermost thoughts and speaks to the tabloids is beyond me.

Posted by: msame | August 22, 2009 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Could you please obscure some letters when you use the phrase "scr**ed over"? This column is not a surprising place to see the phrase, but some editor was stupid enough to put it on the website's front page. Family publication, you know?

Posted by: pundito | August 23, 2009 5:57 PM | Report abuse

Assuming pundito is serious - maybe s/he needs to get out of the gutter, cuz not everything is smut:

fromt he American Heritage Dictionary:
"Screwed" as a Verb:
1. to rotate (a screw or bolt) so as to drive it into or draw it out of a material
2. to twist or turn: she screwed up the sheet of paper
3. to attach or fasten with or as if with a screw or screws
4. Informal to take advantage of, esp. illegally: screwed by big business
5. Informal to distort or contort: his face was screwed up in pain
6. (often foll. by out of)Informal to force out of; extort
7. Taboo slang to have sexual intercourse (with)
8. have one's head screwed on the right way Informal to be sensible

Posted by: molsonmich | August 24, 2009 8:28 AM | Report abuse

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