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Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 09/ 4/2009

Good Reads: Celebrity Twitterings

By Liz Kelly

A self-posted pic from Courtney Love's Twitter feed. (Courtesy TwitPic)

Who are your fave celeb twitterers? I don't like the celeb twitter accounts that are just used for promotional stuff. I want to hear the weird stuff straight from the celebs themselves. -- from Thursday's Celebritology Live chat

Think of today's post as a placeholder until next week's relaunch of Celebritology's new video series, Twits, in which a merry band of improv actors do dramatic readings of celebrity Tweets. Hilarity ensues.

Since I'm not delusional enough to hit you with something too meaty on the cusp of a holiday weekend, below I share my current daily celebrity Twitter must-reads. I guarantee this will be good for losing at least one hour of the work-day. Kind of like blacking out, you'll emerge from the experience dazed and confused but, thankfully, no pesky hangover.


Courtney Love: She's prolific, inscrutable, rock and roll crazy and shares plenty of "quirky" pics and folksy wisdom, like: "to be superstar pretty you need to possibltne half japaense or japanese." (@courtneylover79)


Tila Tequila: Skanky, bisexual and her feed reads like a cheesy softcore porn script. The entertainment is of the point-and-laugh variety. What's not to like? Tila will have to approve you, but once you are in you will see gems like:: "Im about to run the hot bath filled with bubbles, vanilla candles.....jets turned on and lots of roses.....mmmmmm...." (@officialTila)


Donnie Wahlberg: I was never a NKOTB fan, but the original Johnny Drama's exclamation point-loaded missives do have a smidge of jocky charm and really are just the thing for a sleepy afternoon at work: "East Coast!!!! Wake your a[**] up! The Commander in Chief has not slept nor will you any longer! 24 hours of WORK! Gotta make 09-10 HOT!!!" (@DonnieWahlberg)


John Mayer: He's annoying, condescending and totally laughs at his own lame jokes. So why do I read? I dunno, but I do. A sample: "Whenever I get the password to my iPhone wrong more than twice in a row, I'm forced to ask the question: am I really me???" (@johncmayer)


Kevin Nealon: He (usually) wasn't funny on "Saturday Night Live," but the guy kills on Twitter:I find that I get a better nights sleep if I start on the toilet and get up to go to my bed five times per night," or "Arguably, Ted did the best Kennedy accent!" (@kevin_nealon)

Okay, quid pro quo. I showed you mine, now show me yours -- share your top feed reads below.

By Liz Kelly  | September 4, 2009; 10:45 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Michael Jackson Laid to Rest; Oprah Tells Chris Brown to Get Help
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I've got to add Jim Gaffigan to the list, this post had me cracking up:

Biting into a chocolate chip cookie and realizing it's an oatmeal raisin cookie is kind of like finding out she's a dude.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 4, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

I follow Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls. She tweets up a storm and links to lots of provocative pics, that is if you are into risque ur-goth girls.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 4, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

ok, not to change the subject, but has anyone else had problems with the best page on WAPO (that would be yours, Liz Kelly) not opening easily? Do you know how annoying it is to have to hit refresh three times to get my daily dose of snark?

Posted by: Osteph | September 4, 2009 11:27 AM | Report abuse

yellowjkt, I don't know if I'm into risque ur-goth girls, but I'm willing to try.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 4, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Celebrity Twitterings

Sounds like celebrity bird-guano to me.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 4, 2009 11:44 AM | Report abuse

You can't talk about funny celebs without mentioning Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) or Caprice Crane (@capricecrane).

Posted by: CoHe20010 | September 4, 2009 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Kevin Nealon is pretty funny, though i do agree SNL probably didn't bring out the best in him. He's absolutely hilarious on Weeds, and I can't get through a day without listening to "It's Just Like the Superdome."

While not a celebrity, my favorite twitter feed is the Misfortune Cookie one.

Posted by: eet7e | September 4, 2009 12:06 PM | Report abuse

I don't follow celebs on twitter. My account is for business. I really don't want other attorneys to know some of the celebs I would willingly follow if I could (nathan fillion anyone?)

That said, how does Tila keep the candles lit in the bath? Doesn't the water douse the flame?

Posted by: epjd | September 4, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

ep, there are candles made especially for the bath. They tend to be wider to keep water away from the wick.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 4, 2009 12:25 PM | Report abuse

It's Follow Friday and @elizardbeth says you can't go wrong with Office scribe @paulfeig
Adam from Mythbusters is @donttrythis
@azizansari is often funny. Much funnier than he was on Parks and Rec.
And @nathanfillion tweets ever so sweet.

Posted by: otherliz | September 4, 2009 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Nathan Fillion cracks me up. I just love his tweets. Especially the nonsensical ones.

Posted by: StuckatWork | September 4, 2009 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, you ruined the fun. I had visions of her filling the tub with bubbles and candles then wondring why the candles won't stay lit.

Posted by: epjd | September 4, 2009 12:43 PM | Report abuse

I don't tweet myself, but the most awesomest twitter feed I've seen is this:!tmydadsays Just substitute the ! for an i. I don't think Liz's filter will let this through.

Its just this random guy who lives with his hilarious crotchety old dad, and he tweets dad's words of wisdom.

Posted by: jelo97 | September 4, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Oops that is substitute the ! *with* an i.

Posted by: jelo97 | September 4, 2009 12:57 PM | Report abuse

How can we have a celeb tweeting discussion without naming Gene Weingarten? That is of course assuming that you can tolerate his profile pic.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 4, 2009 1:02 PM | Report abuse

I already like @tomshroder more!

Posted by: otherliz | September 4, 2009 1:08 PM | Report abuse

My top five follows are: @wilw (Wil Wheaton), @scalzi (John Scalzi, author), @BrentSpiner (obvious), @alyankovic (Weird Al), and @TheBloggess (totally NSFW).

Posted by: schnitz108 | September 4, 2009 1:16 PM | Report abuse

The profile pic is the best thing about Gene's tweets. Talk about truth in advertising.

Posted by: yellojkt | September 4, 2009 1:24 PM | Report abuse

yes - amanda palmer... thank you (neil did well with that one)

and courtney? there's only one tweet i wanna see from her... 'standing in street - bored - ack - bus!'

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | September 4, 2009 1:59 PM | Report abuse

I am not even old enough for my age to be an excuse, how does one get twitter feeds. Do you get them to your email account or your phone or something. Color me almost Heincer-like in my intelligence on this one if you'd like. It's just something I haven't been interested in until Jelo mentioned the crotchity dad one...

Posted by: LTL1 | September 4, 2009 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Russell Brand @rustyrockets he's pushing the VMAs lately, but his non sequitors crack me up/

Posted by: mdem929 | September 4, 2009 2:41 PM | Report abuse

I'm in LTL's camp. Can someone enlighten us? I'm willing to give fillion and the crotchety old guy a read, but what does it entail?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | September 4, 2009 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Here are a couple of gems from the old man:

"Love this Mrs. Dash. The b!tch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"9:28 AM Aug 19th from web

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for sh!t. Just sat there. Big let down."9:35 AM Aug 20th from web

What can I say, its just some random, but accurate observations in general.

Posted by: jelo97 | September 4, 2009 3:31 PM | Report abuse

LTL, sourcerer- there are a couple of ways to read twitter pages. You can get tweets sent directly to your cell phone, or you can look at them on through Twitter's website- i.e. just go to There are also a bunch of programs you can download to your desktop so that you get a steady stream of tweets, but that can get annoying.

Posted by: TigerLily81 | September 4, 2009 3:51 PM | Report abuse

thanks tigerlily--
is there some way on the twitter site to "bookmark" certain twitterers, like favoriting on YouTube?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | September 4, 2009 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Okay, I figured it out. Sort of.

Kevin Smith is a mad twitterer. Seriously.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | September 4, 2009 6:16 PM | Report abuse

@wilw - Wil Wheaton
@neilhimself - Neil Gaiman
@ThatKevinSmith - Indie director Kevin Smith

Posted by: dkorn | September 5, 2009 2:03 AM | Report abuse

How could you not mention @capricecrane ?? Are authors not celeb enough? She writes TV and movies too. She's hands down the funniest celeb out there!

Posted by: trouble3 | September 7, 2009 1:33 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for all the ideas!

One makes me laugh out loud, but it definitely is NSFW: sh*tmydadsays. (There's a letter where I put the *, and you know which letter.)


Posted by: cfow1 | September 8, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

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