Help Spencer Come Up with a Better Name

AS someone mentioned this morning, Dipsh!t always works.
Also, Heincer is classic due to the connotation.
I would also like to nominate A$$hat, Astrotard, Tardonaut or "Citizen" Pratt.

I'd hate to call him a d0uche because they actually serve a purpose in life.

Prattbag or P-bag for short.

He's already got a name that suits him down to the ground and truly describes him -- he just needs to lose a "t."

Prat

KNM (King of No Media)
KWB (King White Bread)
Dickasorus Rex
Dickopotamus

How about just changing his last name to "Who" as in "Spencer Who?"

Then I would like to see him and Heidi wear matching "I'm with dummy" t-shirts

Pratboy
Spanky P

therwise, there's the generic Wankstain or D!ckhead.

I know Roger will never forgive me for this, but how about Mudd?

Spencer for Hire Pratt

dstu - you just made my day, celebritology and Robert B. Park in one fell swoop.

Trig

I'm no good at this game, but if it can include this fued with Ryan Seacrest that he's trying to create, I'd vote for that one.

DissSpencer? Take it as a diss, or take it as something from which other things (in this case, eternal generic blandness) emanates. Then for short, DS ("dee-ess") as in, "Why are we even wasting time talking about such DS?"

Sir Icks-a-Lot.

If he wants to follow English tradition, why not just call him The Pratt? (if I remember me English, the word's a synonym for a useless dolt)

I don't know, I think "Pratt" is pretty descriptive.

I'm all for his suggested name change, if we drop his first name. King Pratt, as in king of the prats.

White Boy Pratt

Boring Self-Promoting Faux-leb. BSF for short?

That Heidi person bears a striking resemblance to Tori Spelling. And that's not a compliment. Same strangely large head, face shape, features, badly dyed peroxide blonde hair, orangey fake-bake.

How bout Pratfalls?

On a side note, is it just more, or does Heidi look like an even skankier Tori Spelling than Tori Spelling?

Enough with kings and princes, how about Shah Sh*tforbrains?

Already suggested this morning on the am post, His Royal Heiniousness.

Can't believe I'm wasting time trying to come up with another one. (Slapping forehead and getting back to work.)

Bratt Pratt

Pratt da' Ratt
Spencer the Prattilogical
King Pratt of Montag
Montage Pratt
M-Pratt

Tu-Pratt Shakur
Montag, Inc.

Pritt Pratt

Lady Diana Spencer Pratt

Vanilla Ice

The Prattler

Su'spence

Fergie is the Dutchess, with a T. As in pass the Dutch. Because, although she isn't a meth head anymore, she is apparently happy to announce that she's a giant pothead.

How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?

P-Dummy

Could we just refer to the couple as Ø (as in, the null set)?

X-Spence

"A budding megalomaniac needs a name that will do more than add a chuckle to an all royalty-name-themed "SNL" sketch. And, no, some kind of snappy shortened hyphenization will not work."

Well, Krap. I certainly didn't get the point of this exercise, did I?

Something royal, eh?

Duke of Hurl.

mdreader
X-Spence

May we save that one for when the couple (inevitably) splits?

P-eeww.

Pratt-bag.

Shoot, I just realized my second entry was unoriginal. Sorry, M Street.

I'd go with either "The Weasel King" or "Sixteen Minute Man" (surely his 15 minutes are up, aren't they?)

"How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?" --Alison-in-TN

Made me laugh out loud. You got my vote, Alison.

I have it. simple easy.

Brat. and Heidi can be Bratz.

He shall be called Pluto.

Because, like Pluto, he should be downgraded to non-planetary status.

More about Spencer, er, Pluto, here:

http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=Pluto

or Bob.

Lord Splatt

Prince is actually Prince's name and not one he came up with like that weirdo symbol that one time.

That Heidi person bears a striking resemblance to Tori Spelling. And that's not a compliment. Same strangely large head, face shape, features, badly dyed peroxide blonde hair, orangey fake-bake.

Posted by: Californian11 | September 2, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Californian, both Heidi and Tori are butterfaces (as in everything is okay but her face).

"Spencer for Hire Pratt" --dstu

I like it. But you have to say it just like Avery Brooks as Hawk: "Spen-SAAAAH!"

How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?" --Alison-in-TN

Made me laugh out loud. You got my vote, Alison.
****
and my vote as well. we named a chihuahua Miss Banana. almost spit out my lemonade when i read this. just hilarious.

Can't we just ignore them - and not call them anything at all? Maybe they'd go away then.

Maybe we can make a pact to ignore them? Then, maybe, just maybe, they will go away.

Prattological?

Lady King Spencer

On the royalty, or at least nobility, thene: Sir Prats-a-lot?

MR. MAN-FOUND-WITH-BULLET-IN-BRAIN-IN-DARY_ALLEY

UATOAB i.e. Useless As Tits On A Bull