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Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 09/ 2/2009

Help Spencer Come Up with a Better Name

By Liz Kelly

Spencer Pratt and wife Heidi Montag in August. (Getty Images)

As iconic names go, "Spencer Pratt" is probably not going to reach the magnitude of a "Madonna" or a "Prince." Such a shame considering the immense talents being stifled by a rather mediocre moniker. So Pratt has decided to legally change his name to something he thinks is more appropriate for his station in life: "King Spencer Pratt."

Dude. It's been done: The aforementioned "Prince." Michael Jackson's two "Prince Michaels." Fergie Ferg, aka "The Duchess." Perez Hilton, aka the (self-proclaimed) "Queen of All Media." A budding megalomaniac needs a name that will do more than add a chuckle to an all royalty-name-themed "SNL" sketch. And, no, some kind of snappy shortened hyphenization will not work -- where "K-Fed" is genius "S-Pratt" sounds like what happens when my dog has too much people food.

So let's tap our creativity to help Spencer come up with a better name. Something that suits him down to the ground and will further him along his road to world dominance. Checking out Pratt's Twitter feed might provide some inspiration.

Share your suggested names below. The best entry -- as judged by me and a panel of post.commers -- wins a "Brad Pitt for Mayor" T-shirt. Random, but true. Winner announced tomorrow a.m. in this space.

By Liz Kelly  | September 2, 2009; 10:45 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Friday Lists  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Spencer Pratt Changing His Name to 'King Spencer Pratt'; LeAnn Rimes Divorcing
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Comments

AS someone mentioned this morning, Dipsh!t always works.
Also, Heincer is classic due to the connotation.
I would also like to nominate A$$hat, Astrotard, Tardonaut or "Citizen" Pratt.

Posted by: VaLGaL | September 2, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

I'd hate to call him a d0uche because they actually serve a purpose in life.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 2, 2009 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Prattbag or P-bag for short.

Posted by: MStreet1 | September 2, 2009 11:13 AM | Report abuse

He's already got a name that suits him down to the ground and truly describes him -- he just needs to lose a "t."

Prat

Posted by: epjd | September 2, 2009 11:18 AM | Report abuse

KNM (King of No Media)
KWB (King White Bread)
Dickasorus Rex
Dickopotamus


Posted by: jlc9j | September 2, 2009 11:27 AM | Report abuse

How about just changing his last name to "Who" as in "Spencer Who?"

Then I would like to see him and Heidi wear matching "I'm with dummy" t-shirts

Posted by: kvs09 | September 2, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Pratboy
Spanky P

therwise, there's the generic Wankstain or D!ckhead.

Posted by: northgs | September 2, 2009 11:42 AM | Report abuse

I know Roger will never forgive me for this, but how about Mudd?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 2, 2009 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Spencer for Hire Pratt

Posted by: dstu | September 2, 2009 11:50 AM | Report abuse

dstu - you just made my day, celebritology and Robert B. Park in one fell swoop.

Posted by: ishkabibbleA | September 2, 2009 11:56 AM | Report abuse

Trig

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | September 2, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

I'm no good at this game, but if it can include this fued with Ryan Seacrest that he's trying to create, I'd vote for that one.

Posted by: franchiseinATL | September 2, 2009 12:07 PM | Report abuse

DissSpencer? Take it as a diss, or take it as something from which other things (in this case, eternal generic blandness) emanates. Then for short, DS ("dee-ess") as in, "Why are we even wasting time talking about such DS?"

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | September 2, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Sir Icks-a-Lot.

Posted by: lafred | September 2, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

If he wants to follow English tradition, why not just call him The Pratt? (if I remember me English, the word's a synonym for a useless dolt)

Posted by: amelie11 | September 2, 2009 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I don't know, I think "Pratt" is pretty descriptive.

Posted by: MaxineofArc | September 2, 2009 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I'm all for his suggested name change, if we drop his first name. King Pratt, as in king of the prats.

Posted by: mouse4 | September 2, 2009 12:38 PM | Report abuse

White Boy Pratt

Posted by: JenEFur | September 2, 2009 12:50 PM | Report abuse

Boring Self-Promoting Faux-leb. BSF for short?

That Heidi person bears a striking resemblance to Tori Spelling. And that's not a compliment. Same strangely large head, face shape, features, badly dyed peroxide blonde hair, orangey fake-bake.

Posted by: Californian11 | September 2, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

How bout Pratfalls?

Posted by: RightWinger1 | September 2, 2009 1:03 PM | Report abuse

On a side note, is it just more, or does Heidi look like an even skankier Tori Spelling than Tori Spelling?

Posted by: RightWinger1 | September 2, 2009 1:04 PM | Report abuse

Enough with kings and princes, how about Shah Sh*tforbrains?

Posted by: jelo97 | September 2, 2009 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Already suggested this morning on the am post, His Royal Heiniousness.

Can't believe I'm wasting time trying to come up with another one. (Slapping forehead and getting back to work.)

Posted by: hodie2 | September 2, 2009 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Bratt Pratt

Posted by: gamecock1 | September 2, 2009 1:30 PM | Report abuse

Pratt da' Ratt
Spencer the Prattilogical
King Pratt of Montag
Montage Pratt
M-Pratt

Posted by: CinAdMo | September 2, 2009 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Tu-Pratt Shakur
Montag, Inc.

Posted by: CinAdMo | September 2, 2009 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Pritt Pratt

Posted by: mannc | September 2, 2009 1:42 PM | Report abuse

Lady Diana Spencer Pratt

Posted by: dcbny | September 2, 2009 1:42 PM | Report abuse

Vanilla Ice

Posted by: JohnDinHouston | September 2, 2009 1:48 PM | Report abuse

The Prattler

Su'spence

Posted by: afarris | September 2, 2009 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Fergie is the Dutchess, with a T. As in pass the Dutch. Because, although she isn't a meth head anymore, she is apparently happy to announce that she's a giant pothead.

Posted by: otherliz | September 2, 2009 1:57 PM | Report abuse

How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?

Posted by: Alison-in-TN | September 2, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

P-Dummy

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 2, 2009 2:14 PM | Report abuse

Could we just refer to the couple as Ø (as in, the null set)?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 2, 2009 2:16 PM | Report abuse

X-Spence

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 2, 2009 2:17 PM | Report abuse

"A budding megalomaniac needs a name that will do more than add a chuckle to an all royalty-name-themed "SNL" sketch. And, no, some kind of snappy shortened hyphenization will not work."

Well, Krap. I certainly didn't get the point of this exercise, did I?

Something royal, eh?

Duke of Hurl.

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 2, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

mdreader
X-Spence

May we save that one for when the couple (inevitably) splits?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 2, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

P-eeww.

Posted by: spartan123 | September 2, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Pratt-bag.

Posted by: spartan123 | September 2, 2009 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Shoot, I just realized my second entry was unoriginal. Sorry, M Street.

Posted by: spartan123 | September 2, 2009 2:56 PM | Report abuse

I'd go with either "The Weasel King" or "Sixteen Minute Man" (surely his 15 minutes are up, aren't they?)

Posted by: mhaire | September 2, 2009 3:07 PM | Report abuse

"How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?" --Alison-in-TN

Made me laugh out loud. You got my vote, Alison.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | September 2, 2009 3:28 PM | Report abuse

I have it. simple easy.

Brat. and Heidi can be Bratz.

Posted by: Ariabob | September 2, 2009 3:44 PM | Report abuse

He shall be called Pluto.

Because, like Pluto, he should be downgraded to non-planetary status.

More about Spencer, er, Pluto, here:

http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=Pluto

Posted by: memphis1 | September 2, 2009 3:47 PM | Report abuse

or Bob.

Posted by: memphis1 | September 2, 2009 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Lord Splatt

Posted by: cjbriggs | September 2, 2009 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Prince is actually Prince's name and not one he came up with like that weirdo symbol that one time.

Posted by: sarahabc | September 2, 2009 4:16 PM | Report abuse

That Heidi person bears a striking resemblance to Tori Spelling. And that's not a compliment. Same strangely large head, face shape, features, badly dyed peroxide blonde hair, orangey fake-bake.

Posted by: Californian11 | September 2, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Californian, both Heidi and Tori are butterfaces (as in everything is okay but her face).

Posted by: spartan123 | September 2, 2009 4:35 PM | Report abuse

"Spencer for Hire Pratt" --dstu

I like it. But you have to say it just like Avery Brooks as Hawk: "Spen-SAAAAH!"

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | September 2, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

How about Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and his wife, Crap Bag?" --Alison-in-TN

Made me laugh out loud. You got my vote, Alison.
****
and my vote as well. we named a chihuahua Miss Banana. almost spit out my lemonade when i read this. just hilarious.

Posted by: frieda406 | September 2, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Can't we just ignore them - and not call them anything at all? Maybe they'd go away then.

Posted by: themegnapkin | September 2, 2009 5:14 PM | Report abuse

Maybe we can make a pact to ignore them? Then, maybe, just maybe, they will go away.

Posted by: Guest1234 | September 2, 2009 5:26 PM | Report abuse

Prattological?

Posted by: impg2 | September 2, 2009 5:50 PM | Report abuse

Lady King Spencer

Posted by: -TBG- | September 2, 2009 6:46 PM | Report abuse

On the royalty, or at least nobility, thene: Sir Prats-a-lot?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 2, 2009 7:17 PM | Report abuse

MR. MAN-FOUND-WITH-BULLET-IN-BRAIN-IN-DARY_ALLEY

Posted by: andio76 | September 2, 2009 7:48 PM | Report abuse

UATOAB i.e. Useless As Tits On A Bull

Posted by: weevie | September 3, 2009 1:59 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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