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Posted at 8:51 AM ET, 09/17/2009

Jon Gosselin Gets Rid of Family Dogs; Burt Reynolds Treated for Addiction

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Jon Gosselin gets rid of family dogs, saying Kate won't take care of them... Burt Reynolds treated for prescription pain killer addiction... Chris Brown begins community service in Virginia... Paul McCartney voted America's favorite Beatle in inane poll... Jessica Simpson hires pet detectives to search for missing pooch... Peter, Paul & Mary's Mary Travers dead at 72... Garrison Keillor suffered a minor stroke last week... Jenna Elfman expecting second child... Leelee Sobieski pregnant with first child... Abercrombie & Fitch suing Beyonce over "Fierce" fragrance name.

Video: Matt Damon sits for interview with "super fan":

More: Video: The Barack Obama Kanye comment... Jennifer Aniston serenades Ellen DeGeneres... Amy Poehler channels Paula Abdul, Christopher Walken.

Rumor Mill: Lawyer (the same one who dropped him as a client?) denies Jon Gosselin slept with nanny... Kristin Cavallari denies dating John Mayer... Bobby Brown signs on for "Celebrity Fit Club"... Lindsay Lohan pitches a fit at New York fashion show.

Say What?
"I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know." -- Tom Cruise when asked by Jay Leno if he's better at piloting a plane or sex.

"She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!" -- Christopher Ciccone on sister Madonna's VMA look.

"I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something. Please leave.' I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure." -- Megan Fox on how she keeps boyfriend Brian Austin Green safe from her darker moods.

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's edition of Celebritology Live chat. Then, stick around for The "Lost" Hour at 3 p.m. ET.

Bonus: More Kanye West inspired fun.

By Liz Kelly  | September 17, 2009; 8:51 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: VIDEO -- Twits: Solange Knowles, Miley Cyrus, Barbara Walters, Dita Von Teese

Comments

RIP Mary Travers. Why so many deaths this summer? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

You know, I am not surprised at the Burt Reynolds news.

I thought we knew a coyote got the dog. What is the pet detective going to search for? The ACME receipts?

Megan Fox, yeah, that is not quirky charm, that is flat out psycho.

Posted by: epjd | September 17, 2009 9:02 AM | Report abuse

ep, Also Henry Gibson.

À propos of which, the NYT has an article this morning that might interest you, "The Summer of the Celebrity Deaths?":
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/17/fashion/17obits.html?_r=1

In relevant part, it reads:
...But in fact, no more celebrities had died than in past summers, according to Lou Ferrara, a managing editor in charge of entertainment and lifestyle coverage for The Associated Press. / The perception of numerous celebrity deaths was not supported by the number of obituaries the news agency wrote, he said, because it was not a matter of how many died, but who...

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 9:15 AM | Report abuse

But, but, but - those dogs were the closest thing to parents those eight kids had...


"Paul McCartney voted America's favorite Beatle in inane poll... " More surprising: 60% of those polled could not name more than one other Beatle.


Jessica Simpson hires pet detectives: Jess, hon, did you think when the coyote grabbed your dog that he was gonna hold it for ransom?


"Garrison Keillor suffered a minor stroke last week... " And based on your reaction time, Liz Kelly, it's possible that you did, too.


"Jenna Elfman expecting second child... " I might be wrong about this, but many of those people who tune in to her new show about a wacky hot chick are going to find "six months pregnant" as not necessarily "hot."


I don't understand Tom Cruise's response: is he a prostitute or a charter pilot?


Oh, Megan, hon, just shut up and wash my car, willya?

Posted by: byoolin1 | September 17, 2009 9:20 AM | Report abuse

RIP Mary Travers. Why so many deaths this summer? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Posted by: epjd | September 17, 2009 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Yes, RIP Mary Travers. A woman with talent who led a purposeful life, despite being a celeb.

Posted by: jezebel3 | September 17, 2009 9:26 AM | Report abuse

"Burt Reynolds treated for prescription pain killer addiction"
-- My guess would've been bad-toupe addiction. Oh wait, that's Jeremy Piven.

"Bobby Brown signs on for 'Celebrity Fit Club'"
-- His prerogative. Every little step he takes should help his fitness goals.

"Jenna Elfman expecting second child"
"Leelee Sobieski pregnant with first child"
-- Before anyone asks, neither Elijah Wood nor Zsa Zsa's husband (Count von Count, or whatever his name is) had anything to do with either. Though Michael Jackson's dermatologist has been looking pret-ty smug lately.

* * * * * * *
Welcome to English Class. I'm your teacher. Mr. TD. Let's begin.

"Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong"
-- Boys and girls, that is what we call an "oxymoron." You see, Rachel was bad to begin with, so the idea of her also being "wrong" is redundant.

"I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know."
-- And that, kids, is what we call "evasion." Mr. Cruise did not answer the question.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | September 17, 2009 9:26 AM | Report abuse

Oh, Jessica. I'm very sorry about your little dog. I suppose if you're very lucky, that "detective" might find something that passed through the (bigger, badder) canine gut undigested, but you'd be better off to let it go and get on with the mourning process. There's a very good reason people who live in coyote country shouldn't let their dogs, litte or otherwise, run around off-leash and unfenced.

Megan Fox, have you considered medication?

A&F and Beyonce want to launch Fierce fragrances? Oy. Just what we need: aggressive stink. I'm sure I can look forward to it on future trips on public transportation...

Posted by: northgs | September 17, 2009 9:35 AM | Report abuse

When I was a kid my favorite song was Puff the Magic Dragon and I used to make my mom sing it to me all the time. RIP Mary Travers.


Do you think Jessica Simpson was surprised when Jim Carrey didn't show up at her door?


Well Tom, I've asked for refunds for your movies, so I think we know what you need to work on.


I can't blame Megan Fox for being honest. I once dated a girl who kept asking me to buy her a Taser, but I refused to do it because I knew the first thing she would tase would've been me.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 17, 2009 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Incise...then aplly adhesive,

Posted by: wiatrol | September 17, 2009 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Somebody got a thesaurus for their birthday...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 17, 2009 9:48 AM | Report abuse

To be frank, if the choice in the Beatles poll is between Paul McCartney, the two deceased Beatles, and Ringo, no wonder Paul would win.

Posted by: kvs09 | September 17, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Somebody got a thesaurus for their birthday...

Good one Dorkus, but it hasn't helped with her spelling.

Posted by: hodie | September 17, 2009 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone ever post a link to this article here?
"Megan Fox Branded 'Dumb-As-A-Rock' And 'Classless' By 'Transformers' Crew, Michael Bay Responds"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/13/megan-fox-branded-dumb-as_n_285005.html

Some juicy morsels :-)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Nearly 30 percent of Americans questioned in the poll selected McCartney, compared to 16 percent who chose John Lennon, 10 percent for George Harrison and 9 percent for Ringo Starr.

That leaves 35% who voted for who? The fifth Beatle?

Posted by: hodie | September 17, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

RIP Mary Travers indeed. I was lucky enough to see a PP&M concert eight years ago. At first I thought "this is going to be corny", and by the third song, I was hooked. Consummate professional performers, they sounded incredible and it's one of the few concerts to which I've been that stands out among the many.

So Jon Gosselin dumps his dogs because Kate, who is raising eight children while he parties in Vegas, won't take care of them? Sack up jerk! Dogs aren't disposable. Neither are marriages or children, so I guess this isn't a surprise.

Posted by: jelo97 | September 17, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Perhaps poor Jessica prefers to envision her little malpoo just under the influence of a pack of hoodlum coyotes and the worst thing to happen will be a regretable tattoo on the hind leg and knocked up with basterd pup? (mispelled on purpose to thwart WAPO police)

Posted by: hodie | September 17, 2009 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Poor Shoka and Nala (the Gosselin dogs). Being a German shepherd rescuer, I have to say that even though those dogs are doing pretty darn well despite the situation, they definitely deserve a better home. They're just so sweet and they probably live and die for those kids. Kate never wanted them and I was hoping Jon would take them when he left. Oh well. I'm sure they'll have a good life wherever they land.

And I agree that "Rachel Zoe gone wrong" is a bit redundant.

Posted by: eet7e | September 17, 2009 10:11 AM | Report abuse

That leaves 35% who voted for who? The fifth Beatle?

Posted by: hodie

Pete Best?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | September 17, 2009 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Stu Sutcliff?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 10:20 AM | Report abuse

Jessica Simpson should talk to John Gosselin. Maybe he knows something.....

Posted by: StuckatWork | September 17, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

"I try to excel in all areas and I've never been asked for a refund, so I don't know." -- Tom Cruise when asked by Jay Leno if he's better at piloting a plane or sex.

Can I be the first? Tom, although you've never slept with me or flown me around, I would like refunds for the following movies:

"Eyes Wide Shut"
"War of the Worlds"
"Vanilla Sky"
"Cocktail"

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 17, 2009 10:32 AM | Report abuse

"... Burt Reynolds treated for prescription pain killer addiction...Bobby Brown signs on for 'Celebrity Fit Club'..."

- Shouldn't that be the other way around?

That leaves 35% who voted for who? The fifth Beatle?

Posted by: hodie

Pete Best?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1

Stu Sutcliff?
=======

Billy Preston
Posted by: Nosy_Parker

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 17, 2009 10:39 AM | Report abuse

mdreader - Did you not see "The Last Samurai"?

Posted by: kvs09 | September 17, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

George Martin mayhaps? works better than Best or Sutcliffe.

Posted by: osh123 | September 17, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

mdreader, I only wish I'd mentioned Billy Preston first. That's your "get" and of course you're right!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Can I be the first? Tom, although you've never slept with me or flown me around, I would like refunds for the following movies:

"Eyes Wide Shut"
"War of the Worlds"
"Vanilla Sky"
"Cocktail"


mdreader, are you a slow learner? ;-)

Posted by: memphis1 | September 17, 2009 10:59 AM | Report abuse

I advise Brian Austin Green to trade in Megan Fox for the Gosselin dogs. he'll be trading in a dumb psycho-beoytch mongrel for a couple of smart purebreds. He'll be much happier.....and safer.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | September 17, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

I knew she'd grow up to be a stunner but wow Leelee (won't attempt her last name)is very striking looking... kind of looks like Helen Hunt but better.

How old is she anyway? She seems stuck in my head as a teenager... I guess I am getting old :)

Posted by: LTL1 | September 17, 2009 12:00 PM | Report abuse

mdreader - Did you not see "The Last Samurai"?

Posted by: kvs09 | September 17, 2009 10:40 AM
===========
I was busy taking care of a newborn in '03 or else, Tom would owe me for that, too.

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 17, 2009 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Brian Epstein?

Paul McCartney once said of Epstein: "If anyone was the Fifth Beatle, it was Brian."

Posted by: lafred | September 17, 2009 12:41 PM | Report abuse

lafred, I doubt think John Lennon may have felt quite that way, in view of Brian's huge crush on him

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 12:50 PM | Report abuse

don't, not doubt. (The price of rewriting)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Hey, people...never underestimate the sleeping giant that is Yoko Ono's fan base.

Either that, or someone's found Internet access in prison and is declaring himself (and his bad haircut) to be the 5th Beatle!

Posted by: mdreader01 | September 17, 2009 1:21 PM | Report abuse

I was going to say Yoko earlier....

But now, instead of hearing "Happy Christmas" in my head (how I HATE that song!), in honor of Billy Preston, I'm singing, "I got a song, aint' got no melody. I'ma gonna sang it to my friends." As I go round in circles. And fly high like a....

(Hey, it's beats "Shaving Cream" from yesterday....)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | September 17, 2009 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone seen Curmudgeon lately? Are you OK, kiddo?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | September 17, 2009 3:07 PM | Report abuse

A footnote re Burt Reynolds: He has battled problems with prescription painkillers for years. Back in the early 80s, he made a film with Clint Eastwood called City Heat and in one scene, he was whacked in the head with a chair. Should have been a breakaway stunt chair of course, but there was a mixup and the stunt guy knocked him cold with a piece of heavy furniture. He had physical problems, many of them jaw related, for years after that and developed a pain meds addiction. Remember the rumors that he was dying of AIDS because he lost so much weight? It was because his jaw was so messed up he could barely eat and, of course, the meds ruined any appetite.

Posted by: jhpurdy | September 18, 2009 9:14 AM | Report abuse

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