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Posted at 12:00 PM ET, 10/ 1/2009

2009 Celebritology Honors: Heidi & Spencer Named Dippiest Couple; Kanye West Should Go Away

By Liz Kelly

How did your favorite (and least fave) celebs fare in this year's biggest-ever Celebritology Honors? Read on to find out who made the biggest career mistake, what celeb kid's tell-all would be required reading and which star we wish would just go away already.


Celeb Whose Kids' Tell-All Book You'd Most Want to Read: Michael Jackson
A year ago at this time, Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket were ghost-like images we glimpsed beneath veils, masks and the protective cocoon of Michael Jackson's very private life. His death in June changed all that. Now living with Jackson's mother, we agreed we would be up for reading what these kids might say about life with Jacko. Runner-up: Madonna

(Getty Images)

Least Self-Aware Celeb: Megan Fox
Because she's incapable of opening her mouth without producing a bizarro quote ("I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is"), because she strikes kittenish poses at press junkets, because she trashes her directors, because she's an Angelina wannabe and because she's dating David Silver. Runners Up: Katherine Heigl and Jessica Simpson


Dippiest Celeb Couple: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
Look no further than this morning's word from Pratt that he's withholding sex from Montag to thwart her dream of being a mother. Okay, if you have to look further then consider their publicity stunt-laden appearance on "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here," their honeymoon in a then-swine flu-ridden Mexico, or Montag's "performance" at the Miss Universe pageant. Runners Up: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

(Bloomberg News)

Phoniest Celebrity Romance: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson
Sorry hordes of "Twilight" devotees. If you ask us, Edward and Bella are not the real deal off screen. Not that reality will get in the way of continued breathless coverage of hand-holding sightings, fake engagements or out of context on-set pix like this. Runners Up: Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper

(Getty Images)

Most Confounding Celebrity Twitterer: Barbara Walters
She may be the grande dame of TV talk and celebrity interviews, but leave this woman alone with a keyboard and an Internet connection and one gets a glimpse of the real woman (women) lurking underneath that helmet hair. In fact, Babs was so good she got the Twits treatment. Runner Up: Courtney Love


Celeb You'd Most Like to See Go Away and Never Come Back: Kanye West
West took his somewhat annoying shtick up a notch in September when he ruined Taylor Swift's VMA win moment with a speech that will live in infamy, "Yo Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Beyonce has one of the best videos of all time," and spawned countless minutes of Web amusement. To be clear, we want the guy to go away, not the fun Web widgets. Runner Up: Kate Gosselin


Dumbest Career Move: Paula Abdul
What was she thinking? Maybe that Simon Cowell, Simon Fuller and the millions of "American Idol" fans would beg for Abdul to return, forcing Fox to meet her salary demands? Fail. Despite rumors of joining ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" panel or the cast of "Ugly Betty," Abdul is now rumored to be in talks to join an American version of Simon Cowell's "X Factor." Runner Up: Kanye West

(Getty Images)

Best-Dressed Celebrity of 2009: Anne Hathaway
Despite the hubbub over "Mad Men's" sharp dressed man, Jon Hamm, the lovely Anne Hathaway (one of celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe's clients) dominated the category. And with picks like this stunning Oscar-night Armani Prive gown, we can see why. Runner Up: Heidi Klum


Worst-Dressed Celebrity of 2009: Lady Gaga
She may be the biggest thing since Britney to hit the pop music scene, but the woman has some serious clothing issues -- which garnered her a whopping 54 percent of the vote. Our advice to Gaga: The clothes got you noticed, now show us some substance (and enough already with the masks). Runner Up: Mickey Rourke


Best Celebrity-Made Satire Video of the Year: Paris Hilton's "Celebrity"
It was a relatively quiet year for celebutante Paris Hilton. And we couldn't help liking her a little bit when she totally nailed her monologue in this truly funny election 2008 video, made in response to John McCain's anti-Obama "celebrity" ads. Runner Up: Sarah Silverman's "The Great Schlep"

(Full Results)

Agree, disagree? Debate the outcome below...

By Liz Kelly  | October 1, 2009; 12:00 PM ET
Categories:  Awards Season, Celebrities  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: VIDEO -- Twits: Rev. Run, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian
Next: Jon Gosselin Wants TLC Cameras Off His Property; Jackson Healthy at Time of Death


The public has spoken, and the choices are entirely justifiable. I can't judge the Twilight thing cause I don't follow it, but it feels right.

Abdul leaving Idol seems like a lose-lose for everyone involved. Can't believe I used to like her before she displayed her intellectual prowess. Her only hope is to be chosen to replace someone on "the View." It could be anyone but Hasselback because you need duelling ditzes.

Posted by: reddragon1 | October 1, 2009 12:34 PM | Report abuse

Look on the bright side of your scenario, reddragon. If AI chose Hasselback, at least since she'd have temporarily embiggened "shoes" from nursing her latest baby.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 1, 2009 1:05 PM | Report abuse

The results make sense to me. Yet I still can't believe I voted for Paris Hilton for ANYTHING. I completely miss her appeal; she is just completely bland and nondescript. Still, that video WAS funny. Congratulations to all the winners.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 1, 2009 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Excellent choices, Lizards!

Posted by: TigerLily81 | October 1, 2009 1:33 PM | Report abuse

If Kanye West goes away, what will we do for entertainment? He's the gift that keeps on giving.

Now, Chris Brown is another story. I'm really astonished he didn't win -- what were you people thinking? What solidified my utter contempt for him was the recent photo of him doing his service, standing there with a big smug grin on his face, like it was all a big joke.

Posted by: 7900rmc | October 1, 2009 2:06 PM | Report abuse

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