Gosselin throws 'mantrums,' says girlfriend; Miley Cyrus voted worst influence of 2009

sounds like Jon Gosselin needs to grow up. Seriously.

Doctor wrote about kissing Anna Nicole Smith...That had to be the strangest autopsy ever.

Josh Duhamel stepping out on Fergie?
-Could this be The E.N.D.?

David Spade was just trying to do his part to get Chris Farley on the list of the top earning dead celebrities.

Is anyone surprised that Jon would be emotionally abusive? Given the example of how to behave in a relationship he had from Kate, he doesn't know how else to treat your significant other.

Boy those kids in Malawai really are poor if they all can afford for a god is Madonna.

Okay, try this one instead. She's the mother of a god, not god herself, kid.

David Copperfield gets more time to sexually assault someone?

Kids aren't so dumb after all (except the ones who think Madonna is a god).

Jon Gosselin needs to pray to Madonna for some peace to his inner turmoil.

Just because she hangs out with Jesus all day doesn't make Madonna god.

I watched that "Top Chef" last night. I thought Natalie Portman was going to jump in that chef's lap and lick his ear. And yet -- he LOST the challenge! Just goes to show you that on that show, three mean judges -- Mean Padma, Mean Tom and Mean Gail (and hey, Gail, lose the lettuce dress); honestly, would it kill them to show a little LESS arrogance? -- trump cute and saucy celebrity.

Oh, you crazy mixed-up tweens. How can Miley be both a bad and good influence? More important, how can "I Kissed a Girl" Katy and "Malaysia Thinks She's Too Dirty" Beyoncé be even BETTER influences?

Oprah and Gayle are no longer? Oh, Steadman. I didn't know that either. $150 million is a drop in the bucket for her. She should spend that money on something good, like opening a girls school in Africa.

I hate the Chris Farley / David Spade commercial. Not in a "Fred Astaire and Dirt Devil" way, but in a "reminder of why I never thought either one was funny in the first place way." It just opens the door to more bad ideas for future DirecTV commercials. What's next, Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood on a rooftop with her singing "Tonight" from West Side Story as he touts the benefits of multiple channels? It's just wrong.

Of course Teri Hatcher isn't sick with swine flu; Dr. Monica Delmonico and Nurse Nan told us she has kopfgeschlagen.

Oh for Pete's sake, Jessica. Get out of the shark tank. Honestly, what some people won't do for a little PR.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck says she's done having kids...

Thank god! Please convince The Duggers, et al. to do the same. People should not be on a reality TV show FOR BREEDING!

"Jon Gosselin emotionally abusive, says girlfriend Hailey Glassman." It goes nicely with that whole 'greedy grasping famewh*re a-hole' shtick he's been working.

Do you suppose that somewhere in the afterlife Yves Saint Laurent and other former top-earning dead celebs are lobbying for changes so that one day you *will* be able to take it with you? (Big winner there: Van Gogh.)

"PETA slams Jessica Simpson for Sea World performance." Don't be stingy, PETA: consider her entire body of work.

Oprah: why pay $150 million and hope your ex keeps quiet when you can pay someone else $10K and make sure? You live in Chicago, for cryin' out loud. You must know someone...

"Jon Gosselin not doing a reality show with Octo-mom Nadya Suleman, says rep..." but for $100 he will verbally abuse her.

Kate and A-Rod love sex. Who doesn't? Sheesh.

Eh, if anyone's going to be on a reality show for having a bazillion kids, it should be the Duggars. They seem very stable. (They also seem mildly insane, in that smiling, glassy-eyed kind of way, but that's a whole nother thing altogether.)

For once, Jessica Simpson is somewhere I'd like to be- on PETA's hit list. Maybe we can get together and share a baby seal hamburger.

What's next, Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood on a rooftop with her singing "Tonight" from West Side Story as he touts the benefits of multiple channels? It's just wrong.

-td

=====
Glad you asked. How about a Miracle Ear commercial with Natalie singing "Tonight" except Robert can't hear her until he puts his Miracle Ear in?

Then he tries to sell her some term life insurance.

Five charged in burglaries of Lindsay Lohan's (among others) home; Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green also on robbers' hit list...

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From that list, I have to conclude the thing they are stealing is talent.

Five charged in burglaries of Lindsay Lohan's (among others) home; Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green also on robbers' hit list...

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From that list, I have to conclude the thing they are stealing is talent.

Posted by: mdreader01 | October 29, 2009 10:52 AM

And coming away empty-handed.

From that list, I have to conclude the thing they are stealing is talent.

Posted by: mdreader01
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I assume the cases will be tried in Small Claims court, then?

More bad ideas for future DirecTV commercials:

Bob Crane for DirecTV's adults-only channels

James Dean for The Speed Channel

R. Budd Dwyer for C-SPAN

Clara Bow for ESPN's College Football Gameplan

Strom Thurmond for BET

byyolin, you forgot David Carradine for Oxygen.

Fickle tweens and teens vote Miley Cyrus the "worst celebrity influence" of 2009...

Is there an award for that on the Nickelodeon?
**********

Elisabeth Hasselbeck says she's done having kids...

Thanks - I'm done with you breeding also. Make sure when you raise them, you encourage them to look at opinions that differ from your own so they can make decisions based on reality & facts. (& don't let Sherry Shepard teach them any science)

**********
David Copperfield gets extension in sexual assualt case.

Does anyone else see the double entendre in this one? (very clever Liz!!)

Following Byoolin and Dorkus...

Michael Jackson for Nick Jr.
Dick Cheney for (that outdoorsman/hunting channel)
Richard Pryor for FuelTV
Brangelina for the Travel Channel

Comment of the week to Dorkus! LOL!

Why oh why does Elisabeth H. think anyone cares?

Why am I not at all surprised that Mr. Fergie (a) visits strip clubs and (b) may have cheated with a stripper?

I'm not a fan of Michael Jackson, but that autopsy photo story is sad. Have some respect, people.

"MANtrums"??? How is that possible? I thought Kate demasculated him long ago?

David Copperfield gets extension in sexual assualt case.

Was the extension courtesy of Snap-On, Craftsman or Husky?

And in today's version of closing the barn door after all the horses have left, we have:
Elisabeth Hasselbeck says she's done having kids...

Hasselbeck also stars in today's episode of "You can't make up these things." Following excerpt from the story:

I'm clearly avoiding my husband," former NFL quarterback Tim Hasselbeck.

Not getting intimate is tough.

"He's so cute," Hasselbeck, 32, said. "This is the problem ... he's very cute."

Asked if she's ever heard of birth control, Hasselbeck replied, "Yeah, I have. It takes a while to kick in once you start one. But in the meantime, I just find him incredibly attractive. So, it's not like I'm that disciplined, so right now, my strategy is dressing in a way that will not get me pregnant."

How does she dress so that she doesn't get pregnant?

"Nothing too cute," she said. "I'm trying to wear nothing too revealing."

Can we add "manstrums" to our dictionary?

MJ autopsy photos...oh how I hope in my black, little heart it's true & that I get to see them. I love that stuff, from JFK's autopsy photos to Ted Bundy's, to Victorian death photos (memento mori) I find it fascinating.

Yet, at the same time, I hope the family never sees them, especially the kids.

And the "We've Come A Long Way Baby - Not" award goes straight to Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Trying to dress so her husband won't want to have sex with her?? I guess this means that female victims who dress "sexy" are asking to get raped, right, Mrs. H?

Shut your pie-hole and go home to raise your kids. We've had more than enough of you.

Amen, jaybbub. What a complete idiot that woman is. Takes a while to kick in? Has she never heard of condoms, diaphragms, etc. ... ?

I am so appalled by Elisabeth Hasselbeck that I can't even think of anything funny. Sasquatch, PLEASE say you made that up. I missed the joke, right?

Just to show you how ahead of the curve we are, this is a headline on Fark today:

Taylor Swift thinks Taylor Lautner is cute. They better not hook up, 'cos if I see one gossip writer use the word "TayTay", there will be violence

I believe we coined TayTay yesterday. We win.

Nope. Not made up. Click on Liz' link and read the story. perhaps Hasselbeck did a Vulcan mind-meld with Heidi Montag Pratt.

Nope. Not made up. Click on Liz' link and read the story. perhaps Hasselbeck did a Vulcan mind-meld with Heidi Montag Pratt.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | October 29, 2009 3:15 PM

We'd better hope they never do - the resulting black hole would destroy the earth in a nanosecond.

And what Jaybbub said about That Hasselbeck Thing.

"They better not hook up, 'cos if I see one gossip writer use the word "TayTay", there will be violence"

Please don't tell them it was me!

No worries, hodie. We Lizards protect our own.