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Posted at 8:15 AM ET, 10/12/2009

New Michael Jackson Single Drops; Jimmy Kimmel Dating One of His Writers

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: New Michael Jackson single drops; light-up Jacko glove sells for $70K... Oprah sued by flight attendant who says she did not have sex on O's personal jet... Jimmy Kimmel dating one of his show's writers... Rachel Zoe's QVC line launches -- faux fur vest, anyone?... Jailed Roman Polanski "depressed," says lawyer... "Mad Men's" Christina Hendricks marries... Jon Hamm injured on set of Ben Affleck movie; maybe that's why wife Jennifer Garner refuses to work with Affleck... Matt Damon is Affleck's distant cousin, it turns out... In case anyone cares, Kourtney Kardashian announces she's expecting a boy... Tara Reid poses for Playboy.

Pix: Suri Cruise, fresh baked cupcake or little ham?... Drew Barrymore as Sharon Osbourne on "SNL."

Video: Miley Cyrus raps about her Twitter quitting (In case you can't watch, here's the gist: Miley wants privacy. Twitter is bad. Self-produced YouTube videos of not-even-mediocre rap are okay, tho?)...

P.S. Dad Billy Ray wants Miley back on Twitter.

Rumor Mill: Report: After swinging at doctor, drunken David Hasselhoff admitted to London hospital... Kate Gosselin files for alimony... DNA test proves Jude Law fathered child, says Samantha Burke... Suri Cruise enrolled in Catholic pre-school?... Yankee player's wives and girlfriends warned not to trash A-Rod girlfriend Kate Hudson?... Amy Winehouse admitted to hospital for pain from recent breast enhancement?... Madonna dumps personal trainer Tracy Anderson.

By Liz Kelly  | October 12, 2009; 8:15 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Who Is Lola? Who Cares?


Boo hoo, Polanski. Here's how you can snap out of it - waive extradition and agree to be brought back to the US to stand trial! That will get you out of the Swiss jail quick.

Oh - and what does Hollywood think of the poor hijacker that just got stopped on a 1968 warrent? Should he be released since, after all, it was a long time ago and the victims forgave AND he's probably really good at something or other.

Posted by: Amelia5 | October 12, 2009 8:36 AM | Report abuse

Suri in Catholic pre-school. Some would say she's just been moved from one cult to another.

Posted by: wadejg | October 12, 2009 9:24 AM | Report abuse

When are people going to teach their kids not to put their grubby, icing caked hands all over windows?

Suri, your maid is not there to clean up after you. Keep your hands off the glass!

Posted by: MzFitz | October 12, 2009 10:32 AM | Report abuse

It looks like we have to start up the "Suri Cruise Coat Drive" again.

Posted by: MzFitz | October 12, 2009 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Liz, I wish you'd linked to this story as well, even though it's covered elsewhere in the Post. As a tolerant straight I can understand how GLBTs ♥ Lady Gaga, after her comment and performance Saturday evening at the Human Rights gala, especially when she said -- "[T]onight is not about me. It's about you":

"In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," [Lady Gaga] said. "So I'm taking a stand. . . . I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." And then she sat at a white baby grand piano and began to plink out the familiar see-saw intro to John Lennon's "Imagine," whose second verse she changed to fit the moment.

People of the nation:
Are you listening?
It isn't equal if it's sometimes.
I want a real democracy.
Imagine all the people
Could love equally . . .

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 12, 2009 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Lady Gaga is only doing it for the attention. It is all about her, no matter what she says.

How in the WORLD does Kate think she will get alimony? Isn't she the one still on the tv show? Doing a book, starting her own talk show? Sorry lady, you don't get alimony just because you can cry on cue. You have to need it.

Not ONE ounce of sympathy for Polanski. Of course he is depressed, he got caught finally. If he hadn't run 30 years ago, this would be over for everyone by now.

Posted by: epjd | October 12, 2009 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Of course [Polanski] is depressed, he got caught finally.

Exactly. He sure must miss those 30 years of lotus-eating in Europe, while his child-victim was recovering physically and psychologically.

Lady Gaga is only doing it for the attention. It is all about her, no matter what she says.

Hmmm, one could make that criticism about almost ANY public performer, so it sort of renders the point moot.

How in the WORLD does Kate think she will get alimony?

Agreed, but do you know whether she might be entitled to some child support?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 12, 2009 12:15 PM | Report abuse

I see we're all off celebrating the achievements of the most lost man in history.

But some of us still snark, even on days off.

Jennifer Garner knows what kind of pain in the neck Ben Affleck can be. Now, so does Jon Hamm.

"It looks like a zit," Hamm told David Letterman last week. Afterward, Dave launched into an extensive interview about Jon's short career as a baseball catcher. Left me to wonder if there was a ripped up pile 'o questions about how Jon plays philandering Don Draper under Dave's desk.

"Report: After swinging at doctor, drunken David Hasselhoff admitted to London hospital."
- I'm so relieved. London hospitals are well known for sobering up patients. Why, just this week Amy Winehouse was not admitted to a London hospital for being drunk.

Posted by: mdreader01 | October 12, 2009 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Yep MDReader, we now know who wastes their workday here at celebritology. I have no life so I am always here, work or not.

Posted by: epjd | October 12, 2009 4:16 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I'm here too. I've just actually been working today. It's days like this I wish i were canadian (no one tell byoolin I said that).

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | October 12, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Meh - I am here working today too... You think they'd be willing to trade me for Celine Dion???

Posted by: LTL1 | October 12, 2009 4:59 PM | Report abuse

How about this for a headline: Polanski depressed, who cares?

The Kartrashian family: Dad, aids and abets a multiple murderer. Hides murder weapon and helps him get away. Daughter A: marries a month after meeting some guy. Daughter B: divorced by mid-20s, sex tape, tasteless Playboy spread. Daughter C: pregnant by deadbeat sometime boyfriend.

Talk about a gene pool that needs some chlorine.

Posted by: Californian11 | October 12, 2009 5:30 PM | Report abuse

Please please please please please please please please please please please please
no more unblockable Twitter videos!!!!!!!

I now HATE JLO and refuse to update the second post o' the day just because I do not wish to see (and HEAR) that video again!

Posted by: mdreader01 | October 12, 2009 6:00 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, today's Thanksgiving Day in Canada, so they get the day off too. Of course, for some of us Lizards, every day's a holiday (yeah, right).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 12, 2009 6:37 PM | Report abuse

WoW! Tara Reid AND Marge Simpson! I can't wait!

It's a boy! Congratulations, Kourtney!. Just 18 more years and he'll be legal in West Virginia. Oh, hi, Byoolin.

Samantha, I won't believe it until Maury Povich pronounces, "Jude Law, you ARE the father."

Corrine Gehrls records YouTube video in which she looks at the camera, wags her finger, and says, "I did not have sex with that woman, Ms Winfrey."

David Hasselhoff and Madonna: our Celebritology Fantasy Couple.

Not to worry, Yankees Women. Send Kate Hudson my way. I guarantee that when she and I are done canoodling, she'll look like she's been trashed.

Perhaps Roman Polanski can earn bail money by becoming a celebrity spokesman for Cymbalta.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | October 13, 2009 12:12 AM | Report abuse

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