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Posted at 8:09 AM ET, 12/10/2009

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady welcome baby boy; Lindsay Lohan busy saving lives in India?

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady welcome baby boy... Michelle Obama is Barbara Walters's "most fascinating person" of 2009... No Congressional Medal of Honor for Tiger Woods... Lindsay Lohan claims to have saved 40 Indian children in one day... Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus blamed for Chihuahua overpopulation... R. Kelly penning autobiography... Samuel L. Jackson iPhone app in production... Ex-wife asks fans to save David Hasselhoff from alcoholism... Gary Busey and girlfriend expecting baby boy... Tyler Perry's inspirational mother dies... Nas ordered to pay Kelis $51,000 a month... Clay Aiken ends probe of his voting history by removing his name from voter rolls.

Pix: Nicole Richie's new family pix.

Video: Miley Cyrus ready to give up pop, get edgy.

Rumor Mill: Thirteenth woman linked to Tiger Woods; one of Tiger's other women may have dated George Clooney; "Biggest Loser" trainer Jillian Michaels says Tiger once put the moves on her friend... Tila Tequila engaged to Johnson & Johnson heiress?... Holly Madison and Benji Madden dating?

Say What?
"I know it's brutal on you that you can't be with me all the time." -- An alleged text from Tiger Woods to rumored mistress Rachel Uchitel.


Chat Day! At 2 p.m. ET, you'll want to be behind your keyboard for this week's Celebritology Live chat. Then, depending on your level of commitment, stick around for the "Lost" Hour at 3 p.m. ET with special guest blogger JOpinionated.

Bonus: Comparison chart -- Tiger's problem's vs. Jay-Z's

By Liz Kelly  | December 10, 2009; 8:09 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Jennifer Aniston not cooking up a cookbook
Next: The Most Over-Exposed Celebs of 2009?

Comments

Proofreading riddle, Liz Kelly: How is Gisele like the New England Patriots and not like the Cleveland Browns? Gisele and NE both have a "D.'


"No Congressional Medal of Honor for Tiger Woods." That's okay - what he really wants and needs this Christmas is a ball washer.


How did Lindsay Lohan save 40 Indian children in one day? She drank all the homemade booze at a wedding. What would kill or blind a normal person just gets her tipsy.


Original name of the Samuel L. Jackson iPhone app: "200 Ways To Say 'Motherf*****.'"


"Gary Busey and girlfriend expecting baby boy." The baby will be delivered at home by Busey tearing it out of mama's endocrine system.


Thirteenth woman/Clooney's girl/Gillian's friend linked to Tiger Woods: At this rate, the country's medical system will soon be swamped by Tiger-Woods-related STD tests.


I thought Tila Tequila was into Johnson & Vajayjay?

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 10, 2009 8:49 AM | Report abuse

Thanks Byoo -- we had it right in the headline. Damn her and her weird name.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | December 10, 2009 8:56 AM | Report abuse

I have yet to read an article about Tiger Woods, but it seems I can't actually avoid the headlines.

So I'm wondering - when the numbers start running this high and the media scrutiny is so intense, is anyone else thinking any woman who was ever in the same radius as Tiger Woods just coming forward at this point? If he actually this much of a womanize, you think it would have come out before now.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | December 10, 2009 9:08 AM | Report abuse

R. Kelly writing an autobiography? Though I'm sure most critics will call the writing piss-poor.


While we're at it, I'd also like to blame Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus for the recession, global warming, nuclear proliferation, canadians, mysterious lights over Norway, and the new Facebook privacy settings.


There's something disturbing about Gary Busey breeding. Let's hope that kid has one heckuva endocrine system.


Jeez Tiger this is getting a bit ridiculous. I'm starting to see why your golf game has been off in the past few years.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 10, 2009 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Article of potential interest to Lizards:

"Doc Hollywood: If celebrities insist on using their fame to bring awareness to health problems, they should follow these guidelines" By Rahul Parikh:
http://www.slate.com/id/2237816/pagenum/all/#p2

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Lindsey Lohan saves 40 lives in India in one day, by being in Kuala Lumpur that day.

On a personal note, just ONCE I would like to get a custody case where the support ordered is $51,000 per month.

Posted by: epjd | December 10, 2009 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else read that Tiger "brutal" quote in Nathan Explosion's voice or was it just me?

Posted by: wadejg | December 10, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Hmmm. I joined the Genocide Intervention Network's pledge to end genocide. Today I get an email from them saying "You, Elie Wiesel and Paris Hilton." While I don't mind being in the same group as Elie Wiesel, not sure I want to be a part of anything that includes Paris Hilton. I'm worried about catching something.

Posted by: epjd | December 10, 2009 9:51 AM | Report abuse

The hypothesis that LiLo drank all the poisoned alcohol at a wedding is a good one. I was wondering if perhaps LiLo had saved 40 children from being born into lives of poverty by taking care of the "needs" of all the men in the town, thereby preventing them from impregnating their mates.

$51K a month?!?!? And's that's living expenses for one adult and one child? My back of the envelope math shows that Nas could save 4,000 Indian children with that amount.

I'm relieved that Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus are to blame for the number of chihuhuas in California shelters. For a moment, I was worried that Tiger Woods was responsible for the overpopulation of chihuahuas.

If we save Hoff from alcoholism, who will save us from Hoff?

Samuel L. Jackson should name the new app "iSnakes on an iPhone".

Tiger Woods and George Clooney have shared the same woman? I see another Six Degrees of Separation game. Let me know when the Tiki Bar opens.

Regarding Gary Busey's newborn son: I sure hope that brain damage isn't heeditary.

Finally, on the page with the Nicole Richie's new family pix, there is a link to pictures of Mariah Carey "showing off her curves." I love how the former Diva is not immune from the effects of age and weight gain. Welcome to the club, beeyiotch.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 10, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

If Tiger Woods doesn't get the Medal Honor, can we at least give him the Wilt Chamberlain Lifetime Achievement Award?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 10, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Liz, you have to get some of those Tiger tweets for this weeks Twits!

Congrats to Paris and Miley. When are the next litters due? And who are the puppy-daddies?

I will say a little prayer that Gary Busey's little boy takes after the mom.

Are you sure that Holly + Benji story isn't really a movie remake about two adorable little pooches. Benji, a scrappy mutt romances and rescues a cute pomeranian from the clutches of the evil puppymill owner who uses his little b!tches to pose for puppy calendars?

Posted by: hodie | December 10, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Well, if the Tiger tally is up to 13, how long until the calendar is published?

Posted by: northgs | December 10, 2009 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Well, if the Tiger tally is up to 13, how long until the calendar is published?

Posted by: northgs | December 10, 2009 10:09 AM

********************************************

I'm just curious which girl will pose for the month of Smarch. (Yes I'm aware that's such an obscure reference it'll go over Dennis miller's head.)

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 10, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

The Tiger story just keeps getting better and better. And of course by "better and better" y'all know I mean "grosser and grosser".

Posted by: jaybbub | December 10, 2009 10:17 AM | Report abuse

I'm just curious which girl will pose for the month of Smarch. (Yes I'm aware that's such an obscure reference it'll go over Dennis miller's head.)

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1

-------------------------------------------
And will you be able to differentiate Miss Smarch from Miss Fetober?

I don't care whether it goes over Dennis Miller's head, so long as it renders him speechless.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 10, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Nothing in the news this morning-- not even Miley Cyrus spending Christmas in the UK (no Party in the USA?) and giving up pop (Billy Ray? Diet Pepsi?)-- was as disturbing as this line...

"Jillian Michaels, the tough-as-nails fitness trainer from NBC's Biggest Loser, tells Life & Style that she didn't know about the Tiger Woods sex scandal until she saw it on Twitter."

Jillian Michaels gets her news from Twitter?

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 10, 2009 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Which is more brutal? Not being with Tiger Woods or being with Tiger Woods?

iSamJackson? No. As we established yesterday, what the world really needs is iCoolio. Coolio would know what to do with those m-f'in snakes...

Which is cheaper? Saving Indian children or saving David Hasselhoff?

"Tila Tequila engaged to Johnson & Johnson heiress?"
- I sure do hope so. If anyone needs a lifetime supply of Johnson & Johnson products, it's Tila.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 10, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Soon we will all be able to do "6 degrees of separation" from Tiger Woods and his harem.

Oooh - I'll go first. I've been to Perkins' rest - and my waitress works for the manager of the rest. where harem member number 4 currently works.

Posted by: Amelia5 | December 10, 2009 11:03 AM | Report abuse

The R. Kelly autobiography will be excerpted in next month's Barely (Not) Legal.

Posted by: yellojkt | December 10, 2009 11:07 AM | Report abuse

R. Kelly writing an autobiography? Though I'm sure most critics will call the writing piss-poor.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 |

***************************************

Perhaps it will make the Scholastic Book Club.

Posted by: yellojkt | December 10, 2009 11:10 AM | Report abuse

R. Kelly writing an autobiography? Though I'm sure most critics will call the writing piss-poor.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 |

***************************************

When it makes the NYT best Seller list, will R. Kelly treat us to a rendition of "Urine the Money"?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 10, 2009 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Sorry for getting serious, Liz, but a Congressional Medal of Honor was not what Tiger was being considered for. To get one of those, you have to do something incredibly brave on the battlefield, and they are often awarded posthumously.

Running your car into a fireplug while your wife chases you with a golf club doesn't qualify.

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 10, 2009 11:16 AM | Report abuse

Sas, maybe he'll get to star in the touring company of the Broadway musical "Urinetown"?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 11:26 AM | Report abuse

"I'm relieved that Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus are to blame for the number of chihuhuas in California shelters. For a moment, I was worried that Tiger Woods was responsible for the overpopulation of chihuahuas."

I just spit water all over my monitor trying not to laugh at this. I need to stop drinking when I read this (or stop reading it at work, so that I can laugh out loud)

Posted by: starbuck13 | December 10, 2009 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Excellent catch, reddragon. It's the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest civilian honor that Congress awards.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Sorry for getting serious, Liz, but a Congressional Medal of Honor was not what Tiger was being considered for. To get one of those, you have to do something incredibly brave on the battlefield, and they are often awarded posthumously.

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 10, 2009 11:16 AM
===================================

Tiger was up for a CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL, the highest honor Congress can bestow to civilians.

Of course, he's always eligible for that other thing that Congress bestows on civilians all the time: a subpeona to testify before a Congressional committee!

Which reminds me, how long will it take before Michaela Salahi admits to having an affair with Tiger Woods?

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 10, 2009 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Excellent catch, reddragon. It's the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest civilian honor that Congress awards.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 11:31 AM
=========================
But the US Collector's Mint will be putting that stockpile of Tiger Woods Commemorative Gold Plated Buffalo Nickels on sale in time for Christmas.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 10, 2009 11:38 AM | Report abuse

thx mdreader.

Re Miley Cyrus giving up pop, for an instant I too had a flash of her turning states evidence on Billy Ray, and then being put in the Federal Witness Relocation Program. Which means we'd never hear from her again...

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 10, 2009 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Plus I heard Tiger will get a new endorsement and be awarded a "Gold Trojan."

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 10, 2009 11:54 AM | Report abuse

reddragon
"Gold Trojan"

SPLOOT! (Except of course, Tiger attended Stanford, not the University of Spoiled Children)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Wait a minute, didn't a couple of his puta-tive (so to speak!) mistresses claim that Tiger didn't use protection with them?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Plus I heard Tiger will get a new endorsement and be awarded a "Gold Trojan."

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 10, 2009 11:54 AM

Only if the test results come back clean...

Posted by: northgs | December 10, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

$51,000.00 monthly in child support is disgusting. Shame on Kelis, her attorney and whatever judge agreed to that nonsense.

Posted by: Trumance1 | December 10, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

I thought I saw a facial expression on Mr. Nicole Richie, but nope, it was an optical illusion.

I think the overpopulation of chihuahuas has a lot to do with an overpopulation of plastic-surgeried, self-described divas who think dogs should ride in purses and be an accessory instead of a companion animal. So yes, it makes sense that the problem is most apparent here in SoCal, especially in L.A. .

Gary Busey?! Reproducing?! God help us.

What's a Nas and a Kelis?

LiLo, back away from the LSD or other mind-altering drugs ...

Tiger, ever thought about entering rehab for sex addiction? Jeez dude!

Posted by: Californian11 | December 10, 2009 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Hodie wrote:I will say a little prayer that Gary Busey's little boy takes after the mom.

Let's think about this - what do we know about Gary Busey's girlfriend? What kind of woman enters into such a relationship with a freak like Gary?

Re Miley Cyrus giving up pop - I can't view the clip. Is it from that episode of Hannah Montana where Miley/Hannah decides to give up the wholesome pop princess image, but comes to her senses after a heartfelt talk with her daddy?

Posted by: newengland1 | December 10, 2009 1:21 PM | Report abuse

newengland writes: Let's think about this - what do we know about Gary Busey's girlfriend? What kind of woman enters into such a relationship with a freak like Gary?

You've got a point there. Poor kid is doomed.

Posted by: hodie | December 10, 2009 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Gawd, it's not just the sheer number of women but it seems like they get skankier every new one that pops up. Seriously, Rachel (who thinks it's just "hostess" business as usual to travel places with her male "club clients" on their dime) is starting to seem like the classiest one of the lot.

I said it last week--if Tiger had stepped up and copped to numerous affairs, no one would pay any attention to number 10, number 11, number 12, etc.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | December 10, 2009 3:11 PM | Report abuse

I like the suggestion from the poster in the chat who said he should just own it. "Yep, I'm a skank, and I plan to keep on bangin' everything I can after Elin divorces me."

Then it ceases to become a story. Sorta like the Canadian MP who was asked, during the whole Clinton "I didn't inhale" drama, if he had ever smoked pot. He said "Yes." Period. End of story.

Posted by: Californian11 | December 10, 2009 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Good notion Cali, but his image-makers are going to want to rehab his image Kobe-wise and owning his skankiness isn't going to help with that!

I went on his website and the comments are (surprisingly, since it's his fan site) about 60-40 negative to positive.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | December 10, 2009 4:34 PM | Report abuse

cat
I went on his website and the comments are (surprisingly, since it's his fan site) about 60-40 negative to positive.

Would that be a case of bearding the Tiger in his den?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 10, 2009 5:23 PM | Report abuse

LOL Nosy.

What I find hilarious/pathetic is they all write as if he will actually read their comments--some even say to email them to go play golf! Rrrrright. Sheeple.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | December 10, 2009 6:52 PM | Report abuse

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