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Posted at 11:30 AM ET, 12/16/2009

Instant gratification: The same Olsen thing

By Liz Kelly

It's kind of heartening to think that even as we weather the current tempestuous seas of celebrity news -- what with Tiger still allegedly seeing side-squeeze Rachel Uchitel despite a reported $3 million payoff and Reese and Jake calling it quits -- that some things never change.

Like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who turned up for Tuesday evening's New York screening of "Nine" in typically puzzling ensembles. From the unkempt hair to the overdone eyeliner to Ashley's Wookie-pelt coat, the twins are a sight for eyes over-sore from repeated assault by Tiger's harem of skanky babes. Thank you, MK and Ash, for being reliably cuckoo.

(Getty Images)

By Liz Kelly  | December 16, 2009; 11:30 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Fashion  
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These two are easily the winners of "America's Worst Dressed Billionaires."

Distant third: Warren Buffet, for his hilariously bad Christmas-themed cardigan.

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 16, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Actually, if she did her hair and toned down the eyeline while using some other makeup, theone without the pelt wouldn't be that bad. The outfit itself is nice and a little different without being a "whoa, what the heck is that" sort of thing.

Posted by: epjd | December 16, 2009 12:05 PM | Report abuse

now, now, Liz. that's not too much eyeliner if you are a raccoon.

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 16, 2009 12:06 PM | Report abuse

so ep, you are saying she wouldn't look too bad if she dressed and made herself up totally differently...

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 16, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

They're their own little Addams Family, aren't they?

Posted by: chunche | December 16, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

With just a little more polish, they'd both look lovely, but I think they've made a decision that "Hot Billionaire Mess" is going to be their signature style.

They're so petite; the one with the pelt should have worn black stockings and heels - this look draws the eye to her feet. And what's with the briefcase-size purse? And gloves but no stockings...

I actually like the other one's outfit, it's a good use of color and the clutch, although big, matches the blue in the jacket, but the hair is a wreck and the makeup is worse.

The sad thing is, either outfit is probably more than my month's salary.

Posted by: northgs | December 16, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

I like the yellow shoes.

The getup on the one on the left looks like something my 60something mother-in-law would wear, minus the super high heels.

They're both young enough & skinny enough to wear anything, yet they choose things from the Roamans catalog. Elastic waist pants & lounge wear can't be far behind for these 2.

Posted by: wadejg | December 16, 2009 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Nothing wrong with the Trollsens that a shower, a few good meals, a smile, good posture, and putting down the garden trowel they use to apply makeup couldn't cure. They might not be bad-looking under all that grunge, but they do sure seem weird. Didn't some other celeb once describe them as an odd little pair of twins?

Posted by: Californian11 | December 16, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse

They look like little girls playing dress up in grandma's closet.

Posted by: hodie | December 16, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

I'm glad that other people thought MK's outfit looked especially grandmotherly. Apparently Ashley is dating a yeti and trying to blend in with the family.

Can't someone buy these girls a hairbrush and get them to wash their faces? They look like models for a new even skankier Bratz line.

Posted by: auntiemare | December 16, 2009 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Like bag-ladies on Halloween.

Posted by: enogabal | December 16, 2009 1:32 PM | Report abuse

Children of the Corn

Posted by: molsonmich | December 16, 2009 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Apparently Ashley is dating a yeti and trying to blend in with the family.

Sasquatch, is Ashley dating a relative of yours?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 16, 2009 2:14 PM | Report abuse

northgs, I agree with you on the jacket (appropriate holidays color mix), and the clutch (too big, but good color choice).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 16, 2009 2:16 PM | Report abuse

I thought they looked more like bobble-head that was attacked by an animal.

Posted by: anonymouslurker | December 16, 2009 2:49 PM | Report abuse

i actually kind of like mk's jacket, if that is mk wearing the non-hirsute one.

Posted by: dablues1 | December 16, 2009 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Meet Mary-Kate, with her bright blue bag
She looks like a floor mop in drag
But Ashley's bag, a black briefcase
The yellow shoes, too out of place
What a crazy hag!

But they're sisters,
Identical sisters all the way.
One pair of color-blind girls,
Different as night and day.

Where Mary-Kate's skirt is way too long
That jacket, too, completely wrong
Our Ashley loves a giant fur
We half-expect the girl to purr
Call her "Ms. King Kong"!

Still, they're sisters,
"Identical" twins -- but no, they're not,
They blush alike, they gush alike,
Can't-even-use-a-brush alike --

You can lose your mind,
When sisters are two of a kind.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | December 16, 2009 4:03 PM | Report abuse

$5 says the Olsen twins have a secret language that only they can understand.

$20 says within 10-15 years the Olsen twins are the new Michael Jackson - odd recluses living in seclusion with kleenex boxes on their feet. And cats, lots and lots of cats.

Posted by: MStreet1 | December 16, 2009 4:48 PM | Report abuse

I thought the premiere for Twilight: New Moon was last month.

TD, that was brilliant.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 16, 2009 5:29 PM | Report abuse

I think an intervention is needed here..not sure what the reason would be. Those gazes are more powerful than ground penetrating radar. Their appearance is more than enough to scare small children.

Posted by: sarahbonnie1 | December 17, 2009 8:17 AM | Report abuse

They both look like they're about ready to start crying.

Posted by: charley42 | December 17, 2009 8:27 AM | Report abuse

ya know, putting on the glam usually involves brushing your hair and maybe pinning it up....Just doing that would have a huge impact on these girls' appearances.

Posted by: dablues1 | December 17, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

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