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Posted at 8:01 AM ET, 12/14/2009

Tiger dumped by Accenture; Angelina Jolie's Facebook pals

By Liz Kelly
Monday

Headlines: Accenture severs relationship with Tiger Woods... Angelina Jolie's Facebook friends revealed (Jeff Goldblum?)... Chris Brown rants about retailer boycotts... Lindsay Lohan returns from India; selling her used clothes on family Web site... Leonardo DiCaprio signs on to Mel Gibson-directed Viking drama... Catherine Zeta-Jones returns to Broadway... Want Snoop Dogg's voice on your GPS? For shizzle!... Former "Bachelor" contestant Melissa Rycroft marries.

Pix: K-Fed drops 50 pounds... Carey Hart's new Pink tattoo... Newest Tiger Woods mistress?

Video: Taylor Lautner's "SNL" monologue...

Rumor Mill: Child protective services called to Tiger Woods's home... Jude Law and Sienna Miller planning to cohabitate again... Madonna dumped from Louis Vuitton ads.

By Liz Kelly  | December 14, 2009; 8:01 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Maryland judge limits Jon Gosselin media appearances
Next: The most over-exposed celebs of 2009: The vote

Comments

Accenture sure runs with some nice company, doesn't it? Enron, Tiger... Don't be surprised if they're working the Afghanistan account too.


"LiLo selling her used clothes on family Web site." (Hey, I checked - the really good stuff is still only available from vending machines in the seedier neighbourhoods of Tokyo.)


A "Mel Gibson-directed Viking drama" is going to make Ragnarök look like a slapfight between two fat 2nd-graders.


The Snoop Dogg GPS has directions to the finest weed in 20 major American cities.


"Child protective services called to Tiger Woods's home." It's not what you think. Turns out Tiger was bangin' someone at CPS too.


"Madonna dumped from Louis Vuitton ads." Not to worry - I hear Accenture needs a spokesperson.

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 14, 2009 8:43 AM | Report abuse

Child services needs to protect children who are really being harmed.

Posted by: plasticjar | December 14, 2009 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I'm willing to bet that Angelina is one of those serial frienders.


Chris Brown seems to be getting a little punchy there.


Tried out my Snoop Dogg Tom-Tom on the way to work today. It told me fo shizzle my nizzle, take a rizzle in a quarter mizzle. And on the straightaways it said to keep rollin down the street smokin indo and sippin on gin and juice.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 14, 2009 9:04 AM | Report abuse

"Taylor Lautner's 'SNL' intro. Was it funny?" -- Well, like most things you see on SNL, it was funny for a moment, then they dragged it out way too long and to an uncomfortable place. But then, that kid is still Shark Boy to me. What do I know.

"Angelina Jolie's Facebook friends revealed (Jeff Goldblum?)" -- That would explain her high score on What the Farkle?

"Madonna dumped from Louis Vuitton ads." -- Another suitcase in another hall.

"Leonardo DiCaprio signs on to Mel Gibson-directed Viking drama" -- Dear Lord, what a sentence. Where do I begin? I think my brain just imploded.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | December 14, 2009 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Lilo proves there is a sucker born every minute by selling her clothes online. Goodwill, Salvation Army, Volunteers of America and even her saved Indian village refused the donation of her used clothes.

Yeah, I was suprised Angie's looking for someone to adopt a little brown cow that wondered onto her farm. I was sure she and Brad would keep it.

Looking forward to seeing Leo and the recreation of the Titantic "I'm Flying!" scene on a Viking boat!

Posted by: hodie | December 14, 2009 10:16 AM | Report abuse

"Yeah, I was suprised Angie's looking for someone to adopt a little brown cow that wondered onto her farm. I was sure she and Brad would keep it." --hodie

That's Comment of the Week material right there. Hilarious!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | December 14, 2009 10:20 AM | Report abuse

"Angelina Jolie's Facebook friends revealed (Jeff Goldblum?)"

- I had a bigger question mark over Christopher Atkins

"Along with the VoiceSkin, Snoop Dogg fans can also expect extra bonus material including a special 'Points of Interest' file, containing the locations of places of special significance to Snoop and his favorite Los Angeles haunts."

- Like that corner in Compton where they have the best prices on dime and nickel bags and the little rib joint a few blocks away when the munchies really hit.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 14, 2009 10:25 AM | Report abuse

>>>Tried out my Snoop Dogg Tom-Tom on the way to work today. It told me fo shizzle my nizzle, take a rizzle in a quarter mizzle. And on the straightaways it said to keep rollin down the street smokin indo and sippin on gin and juice.<<<

Dorkus, I hope it included the bit about staying "laid back, with your mind on your money and your money on your mind."

Posted by: Liz Kelly | December 14, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

"Leonardo DiCaprio signs on to Mel Gibson-directed Viking drama"

Bwahahahhahahahahahaha!

Thanks for the laff, Liz...

Posted by: Section416akatheAlps | December 14, 2009 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Did Viking chicks shave their pits?

Posted by: jezebel3 | December 14, 2009 10:37 AM | Report abuse

>>>Tried out my Snoop Dogg Tom-Tom on the way to work today. It told me fo shizzle my nizzle, take a rizzle in a quarter mizzle. And on the straightaways it said to keep rollin down the street smokin indo and sippin on gin and juice.<<<

Dorkus, I hope it included the bit about staying "laid back, with your mind on your money and your money on your mind."

Posted by: Liz

*sputtering noises, as Bawlmer desperately attempts to not spray coffee across her keyboard*

Win, you two. Win.

I'd be interested to see if those are actual real celebrities on FB...I'm not sure how you'd even tell, though.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | December 14, 2009 10:41 AM | Report abuse

bawlmer, silly, you can tell by their pictures!

jez, maybe that's why the Vikings stole women from Scotland, England, Ireland, France, Spain, Sicily and Russia. In their defense (the Vikings, that is) they did settle down and marry in those locations as well.

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 14, 2009 11:15 AM | Report abuse

I'll give Mel credit for getting around linguistically: first Latin, then Aztec, now Old Norse. The really interesting Vegas line will be on whether it will be better or worse than the Beowulf movie with Angelina Jolie from a couple of years ago.

Have we done a Friday List of celebrities we'd like to have on board our GPS systems? If not, that could be fun.

It's too bad Accenture is dropping Tiger - he could probably use an accountant right about now, to help him figure out who all of these women were and how much to pay each.

Posted by: northgs | December 14, 2009 11:46 AM | Report abuse

I love that Tom Hanks' profile pic is just his forehead.

Posted by: dkp01 | December 14, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

That Tiger Woods "mistress" is priceless! ROFL!

Tattoo? The death knell tolls over Carey Hart and Pink (and that is one hideous tattoo. Not very flattering to Pink, if that's how he sees her.)

If anyone buys LiLo's discarded clothes, I'd recommend submerging them in industrial-strength disinfectant before wearing, and the buyer should make sure her shots are up-to-date, especially since we know LiLo likes to go commando. Major ick nast.

Posted by: Californian11 | December 14, 2009 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Did Gary Trudeau take the latest Doonesbury story line from Snoop Dog's GPS debut? Or did life imitate art? Since Ms. Snatchquatch likes hip-hop, I might get her Snoop for Christmas gift. However, the GPS will not come with any BC Bud.

Perhaps the Lizards can submit working titles for the upcoming Mel Gibson Viking movie starring Leonard DiCaprio. My contribution: "Hagar the Horrible."

Byoo', do you know whether the LiLo clothing line is scratch 'n sniff? If so, someone might be able to score a contact cocaine high.

Why would Accenture sever their corporate relationship with Tiger Woods, now that Tiger has been revealed as THE role model for consulting firms? Maybe because Tiger hasn't screwed enough people?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 14, 2009 12:07 PM | Report abuse

Chris Brown = ranting is not the way to convince people you don't have anger issues.

I got nothing on the Mel Gibson movie. Somethings I just cannot comprehend.

Posted by: epjd | December 14, 2009 3:23 PM | Report abuse

" Leonardo DiCaprio signs on to Mel Gibson-directed Viking drama... "

Leo can morph into so many people, but I just don't see him as Bud Grant. But I'm dying to know who Mel's casting as Fran Tarkenton.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 14, 2009 4:52 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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