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Posted at 8:14 AM ET, 01/13/2010

Casey Johnson buried; Jon Mayer swears off Twitter (for a week)

By Liz Kelly
Wednesday

Headlines: Casey Johnson buried at family's New Jersey estate... Beyonce and Jay-Z lead Forbes list of top-earning couples... Kate Gosselin, Octo-mom top list of least desirable celebrity neighbors... George Clooney says he Googles himself every afternoon... Conan O'Brien refuses to budge from late night time slot... John Mayer swears off Twitter for a week... Kathy Bates to guest star on "The Office"... Channing Tatum details on-set penis burn... Jessica Biel reaches Mt. Kilimanjaro summit... Mike Tyson to attend Golden Globes with "Hangover" cast... Mark Wahlberg and Joey Fatone welcome baby girls.

Crime Watch: Cybill Shepherd's son charged in mid-air thefts... Prosecutors drop David Copperfield rape case.

Rumor Mill: Tiger Woods in treatment for sex addiction?... Elin Nordegren rents home three miles from Woods's mansion... Helen Mirren denies rumor that she's penning a sex book... Jude Law set to propose to Sienna Miller?

Pix: Now Jon Hamm's sporting a beard. Enough already... Megan Fox poses for Armani underwear.

Video: Kim Kardashian gets in the ring for new perfume ad...

Say What?
"Come eat my panties off of me / Do whatever you feel comes naturally." -- from the song "I'll Do It," just one track from Heidi Montag's newly-released album "Superficial."

---

Lost

Set your DVRs -- "Lost's" Josh Holloway (Sawyer) will sit down with Ellen today on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Then, join Jen Chaney, special guest EW TV writer Jeff Jensen and me for today's 2 p.m. ET "Lost" Hour chat.

By Liz Kelly  | January 13, 2010; 8:14 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: George Clooney and his beard
Next: Talking with 'Lost's' Jeff Fahey: Part 1

Comments

Kate Gosselin & Octo-mom least desirable neighbors: that's not because of the "celebrity" part, that's because between the two of them you're talking 22 kids. That would be the noisiest street in all of Mayberry.


"George Clooney Googles himself every afternoon." While that's a nice euphemism, people are inevitably going to get it confused with the homonym that means "to use Google's search engine."

"Channing Tatum details on-set penis burn." His lady friend needs to loosen her grip.


"Jessica Biel reaches Mt. Kilimanjaro summit." Wow, Celebritology is just filled with smutty euphemisms this morning, isn't it? Liz Kelly's hormones have completely taken over.


"Mark Wahlberg and Joey Fatone welcome baby girls." Meanwhile, Roman Polanski still likes 'em a little older than that.


Jon Hamm's *gay*?


"Megan Fox poses for Armani underwear." Or is she simply auditioning for Transformers 3?

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 13, 2010 8:46 AM | Report abuse

FIVE POSSIBLE RESPONSES TO TODAY'S 'SAY WHAT?'


5: "No, thanks. I think I'll just google myself."

4: "Is it true that Spencer's response to this is talk about himself until he climaxes?"

3: "'What comes naturally,' in this case, is 'slip into a coma.' Frankly, I can't even *imagine* how drunk I'd have to be."

2: "Well, if that's what it takes to get you to just shut up and stop 'singing'..."

1: "Oh, boy! The soundtrack to her snuff film!"

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 13, 2010 8:57 AM | Report abuse

So beyond being the greatest musical artist of all time, Beyonce is also the richest. Wonder what Taylor Swift thinks of that.

The Cloonster has all those chicks and still has to Google himself? Is he shooting for the David Carradine award this year?

So they can rip the microphone from Conan's cold dead hands.

Let's hope there's no nude Kathy Bates scene on "The Office."

Sounds like Channing Tatum's sensitivity was kilt in Scotland. The article describes the burn as "painful." I guess as opposed to all those painless penis burns.

I didn't even know Mark Wahlberg and Joey Fatone were a couple.

Sybil Shepard's son's behavior might be more appropriate for someone who lives in Sebastopol, Ukraine.

ep, looks like the lawsuit vs. Copperfield can proceed.

Hey, Liz, hodie might not agree with you on the beard thing. Or maybe its just the Clooster she's OK with.

Megan Fox gets a 6 for the underwear ad.

No, Heidi, not even if they were chocolate.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 13, 2010 9:07 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin -

I'll send the receipt for my new monitor your way...

PS wish me luck lizards - I've gone Vegetarian in the new year.

Liz hope all is going well with Celebritologisto/a (that's spanish for little celebritologist)...

I'll give you one recommendation. Exercise throughout. Seriously. I ran up til 8.5 months and did the elliptical til the day before I went in to labor. I had the most ridiculously fast labor and I felt good enough to go to the gym 2 days after I got out of the hospital. Your little bun will also recover faster from his/her birth experience... a lot of doctors aren't yet comfortable on this so if your doctor is not a pro-exercise doc read Fit Pregnancy...

Pregnancy PSA over :)


Posted by: LTL1 | January 13, 2010 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the tips, LTL -- keep them coming.

And good luck on going veg. If you need any moral support or recipe ideas, I'm chock full of em.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | January 13, 2010 9:18 AM | Report abuse

LTL, I'm delighted to hear things are going so well at Chez Lurker, and I'm sure the exercise did a world of good for your pregnancy and labor. There may other factors besides exercise operative in your labor time, however. A friend who runs half-marathons and swims a lot just gave birth a couple months ago, and had a grueling 27-hour labor. Fortunately mother and child came through the ordeal just fine, but can you imagine how exhausted they both were? In other words, other mothers' mileage may vary.


Beyonce and Jay-Z lead Forbes list of top-earning couples... Kate Gosselin, Octo-mom top list of least desirable celebrity neighbors.

I suppose that's preferable to vice versa. Although one can only imagine what Kanye West would say if Kate or Octo-mom moved next door to him.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Casey Johnson buried at family's New Jersey estate...
It's bad enough she died early, but now she has to spend the rest of eternity in Jersey?


Channing Tatum details on-set penis burn...
I still think of Carol Channing whenever I see the name Channing Tatum, which gave that headline a whole 'nother interpretation.


Mark Wahlberg and Joey Fatone welcome baby girls.
Which one carried the girls to term?


Prosecutors drop David Copperfield rape case.
Said it was as though all the evidence disappeared.


I'm on Team Conan!

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 13, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Channing Tatum details on-set penis burn.

What next? Underwear Umar calls a press conference to detail his similar injuries?


George Clooney says he Googles himself every afternoon.

Taking the verb "to Google" in the literal sense, I similarly check the Internet almost daily for new listings of the websites I run, as well as other pertinent key words and, yes, even my name. When one works so hard to establish a professional brand, it's essential to protect it.


Elin Nordegren rents home three miles from Woods's mansion.

This may be for the sake of the children.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Today's edition & comments are for the archives. Keep 'em coming, you witty lizards as I clean the snort off my keyboard.

Also Team Conan, Dorkus. I saw a Letterman clip this morning where one of the shows NBC is using to replace the Leno time slot is Law & Order: LVU (Leno Victims Unit). Starring O'Brien, Fallon, and Ice-T as Carson Daly.

Posted by: mat00 | January 13, 2010 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Totally agree Nosy - so many other things can also impact labor time, like size of the baby and mom, etc.

Either way, Liz hope yours is healthy and easy!

Posted by: LTL1 | January 13, 2010 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Per Jon Hamm's beard:

In my family, my brother, brother-in-law, and husband will all grow beards on vacation. It's just something they do. I'm sure Jon will be shaving it off once he's Mad-Menning it again.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | January 13, 2010 10:04 AM | Report abuse

The caption on the picture of Cybill Shepherd's son says he was arrested on Jan 12, 2009.

Posted by: marybindc | January 13, 2010 10:06 AM | Report abuse

LTL, the mother is petite, the baby huge.


Dorkus
I'm on Team Conan!

Jezebel arrives to make a snotty crack in five, four, three, two...

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Ah, George Clooney, master of bulls*$%.

And after that incredible letter yesterday ("People of Earth!"), I'm on Team Conan as well. I hope he gets picked up by another network and destroys his competition.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | January 13, 2010 10:20 AM | Report abuse

Just when you thought Jon Hamm couldn't get any sexier...**sigh**

Posted by: wadejg | January 13, 2010 10:23 AM | Report abuse

LTL, the mother is petite, the baby huge.


Dorkus
I'm on Team Conan!

Jezebel arrives to make a snotty crack in five, four, three, two...

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 10:15 AM | Report abuse

One. The preggers stories are borrrring.

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 13, 2010 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Actually, reddragon, I do agree with Liz on the beard thing but it certainly would not be a Clooney-kitchenpass-dealbreaker.

And Liz, if Clooney Googles himself and finds your column and this reference and should happen to ask for hodie's email etc, you have my permission to give it to him.

By the way LTL and Liz, as a former OB (who later switched to FP with OB), I agree that there is nothing wrong with exercise during pregnancy. I would however caution against starting strenuous programs that you are not accustomed to and any sport that requires balance (skating, skiing, etc). Stay hydrated!!
My last labor by the way was 2hrs. Not bad.

I perhaps I shouldn't warn you, Heidi, but what would come naturally to me after hearing you sing those lyrics would involve you cleaning up some vomit.

Posted by: hodie | January 13, 2010 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus I'm with you on the Carol Channing/burn association. I have the same prob with Rachel Zoe/Zoe (barf) Deschanel


Nosy, I'll bet the Cloonster pays other people to protect his brand. I'm thinkin the self-googling is b/c he can't see his name in "print" enough.


Bawlmer, maybe being a " master of bulls*$%" is how he gets all those chicks.

or not.

hodie, you rock.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 13, 2010 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Beyonce and Jay-Z lead Forbes list of top-earning couples... Kate Gosselin, Octo-mom top list of least desirable celebrity neighbors.

I suppose that's preferable to vice versa. Although one can only imagine what Kanye West would say if Kate or Octo-mom moved next door to him.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 9:37 AM

Maybe Kate & Octomom can move in on either side of Kanye. I can see this solving 3 problems at once.

Posted by: jes11 | January 13, 2010 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Whatevs with the "fit pregnancy". Liz should do her pregnancy Betty Draper style, wif lots of cigs and cocktails.

Actually, as a runner, I love it when I see preggo ladies run and exercise. But I've never had kids so I ain't gonna spew advice.

And go Conan! And thanks for the Jon Hamm pic Liz!

Posted by: jelo97 | January 13, 2010 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Reading too fast dept:

Originally I thought Liz said that she and Jen were going to chat with Josh Holloway at 2 today. Then I realized if that were true she would have scheduled waaaay more than an hour.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 13, 2010 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin, "doin' what comes naturally" for me, while listening to Heidi Montag "sing" would be to hurl.

"Channing Tatum details on-set penis burn."
- He's the last person I would have cast as the failed underwear bomber.

"Cybill Shepherd's son charged in mid-air thefts...'
- He was nailed as soon as passengers started complaining that the guy who looked like Cybill Shepherd was rifling through their stuff.

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 13, 2010 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Mark Wahlberg?
Joey Fatone?

Which one is the beard?
Do they Google each other every day?
Or do they swear off Twitter during the week for the weekend penis burn?
Does foreplay consist of eating each other's shorts?
Perhaps an epic climb up Mount Kilimanjaro?
Did Mark Wahlberg continue to work out during the pregnancy?
What manner of merde does a Kardashian smell like?
Will Tiger's therapy result in him having better control of his putter?

If Conan had addressed his letter to the NBC executives, he would not have referenced the 3rd planet. The 7th planet, maybe.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 13, 2010 11:11 AM | Report abuse

What I (and Pookie) want to know is, on what planet is Jeff Zucker considered a competent executive? (Yes, Sas, I got that 7th planet allusion). Maybe Conan could take HIS job if things don't work out to his liking re "Tonight."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 13, 2010 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Whatevs with the "fit pregnancy". Liz should do her pregnancy Betty Draper style, wif lots of cigs and cocktails.


Posted by: jelo97 | January 13, 2010 10:40 AM | Report abuse


And TV for the kids!!!!!

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 13, 2010 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I just spent 20 minutes I'll never get back trying make sense of Jude Law's life.

Let's dissect, shall we? Courtesy of the fine reporting at Contactmusic news:

"Jude did some serious thinking over Christmas in Britain with his ex-wife Sadie and the kids. And he realises just how important family life is to him."

-Oh, so Jude and Sadie will reunite?

"He needs a good woman to look after him. Sienna's fed up of the single life and wants to be with Jude for good."

- Wait...he loves Sienna? Why is he with Sadie?

The source added to the Daily Mirror newspaper: "It's only a matter of time before Jude pops the question. He and Sienna have never been happier together."

- But he spent Christmas with Sadie, no?

"Jude and Sienna spent the festive period on the Caribbean island of Barbados together with his three children, Rafferty, Iris and Rudy, from his marriage to Sadie."

- What "festive period" are they talking about? What happened to Sadie?

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 13, 2010 12:21 PM | Report abuse

- What "festive period" are they talking about? What happened to Sadie?

Posted by: mdreader01

*****

That would be "Boinkingsiennamillermas." The festival, which typically begins after a bout of drinking, is celebrated by giving the kids some money (traditionally, in response to the question "But with what shall we f*** off, Daddy?") after which Ms. Miller is so thoroughly shagged that neither she nor her partner can stand up straight for days afterward.

Sadie, sadly, does not celebrate Boinkingsiennamillermas.

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 13, 2010 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Tiger Woods in treatment for sex addiction ... first smart thing he's done in a long while.

Ick Nast, Heidi. Brain bleach time.

Mike Tyson to attend Golden Globes? Whomever drew the short straw to sit next to that nutball, better wear ear protection.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 13, 2010 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Not to be morbid, but ... Casey Johnson was dead for up to a week before she was found, she was found on Jan. 4 and here we are at Jan. 13, and it was an open casket?? Ew.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 13, 2010 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Not to be morbid, but ... Casey Johnson was dead for up to a week before she was found, she was found on Jan. 4 and here we are at Jan. 13, and it was an open casket?? Ew.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 13, 2010 1:21 PM

- I know. I'm sure that by the time the eulogy finished, everyone wishes they had descended from SC Johnson instead of Robert Wood Johnson.

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 13, 2010 1:53 PM | Report abuse

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation......
are they the trade association for erectile dysfunction products?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 13, 2010 2:23 PM | Report abuse

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