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Posted at 7:21 AM ET, 01/20/2010

Johnny Depp named GQ's most-stylish man; ScarJo auctions herself for Haiti charity

By Liz Kelly
Wednesday

Headlines: Johnny Depp leads GQ's list of most-stylish men... Scarlett Johansson auctions off meeting for Haiti relief... Jay-Z and Bono team up to record Haiti song... Gabriel Byrne speaks out about childhood sexual abuse... Neil Patrick Harris to guest-star on Joss Whedon-directed episode of "Glee"... William Baldwin lands "Gossip Girl" gig... "Real Housewife of New York's" Kelly Bensimon to pose for Playboy... Jeff Conaway suffers brain hemorrage after fall... Charlie Daniels recovering from minor stroke.

Crime Watch: Ryan Seacrest's alleged stalker ordered to stand trial... Accused Jennifer Garner stalker pleads not guilty... Amy Winehouse pleads guilty to assault... Judge refuses to dismiss David Letterman extortion case.

Rumor Mill: Lindsay Lohan caught snogging with 29-year-old French actor... Britney Spears committing credit card fraud, speaking in British accent again?... January Jones and Jeremy Piven!?!... Kate Moss set to marry?... Brooke Shields does not owe the IRS $10,000 in back taxes.

Pix: Ivana Trump strips to her undies for "Celebrity Big Brother"... Uma Thurman spotted kissing ex-fiance.

Video: NBC's late night wars explained in handy Japanese 3-D animation...

More: Martha Stewart learns how to work a stripper pole... "MacGruber" red-band (NSFW) trailer premieres online...

Say What? "TALL SLENDER REDHEAD AVAILABLE FOR NIGHTTIME RECREATION" -- Headline of an ad supposedly placed on Craigslist by Conan O'Brien's staff.

---

Lost

Join Jen Chaney and me, along with three of Lostpedia's shadowy admins, today at 2 p.m. ET for The "Lost" Hour chat. This week, we'll be discussing the show's top pop culture references.

By Liz Kelly  | January 20, 2010; 7:21 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

"Scarlett Johansson auctions off meeting for Haiti relief..."

I take it Producer Paul has already asked for an advance on his salary?

And, please, "Martha Stewart learns how to work a stripper pole..." has GOT to be NSFW. Or at least NSFAWL (not safe for a working libido). ~shudder~

Posted by: MStreet1 | January 20, 2010 8:09 AM | Report abuse

Can we assume the male lizards are off posting their bids for the Scarlett Johansson auction?

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2010 8:41 AM | Report abuse

The news about NPH and Whedon and "Glee" almost makes up for the news out of Massachusetts this morning.

Posted by: dstu | January 20, 2010 8:46 AM | Report abuse

I think that the shenanigans pulled by Conan and his staff are, by far, the best thing to come out of this whole late-night business. Would Jay Leno post a Craigslist ad like that? No. (God, please no.)

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | January 20, 2010 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Jes, I think it's safe to say that upon reading the sentence, "Scarlett Johansson auctions off meeting for Haiti relief," most men's first thoughts were of a different sentence including the words "Scarlett Johansson, "off" and "relief."


Britney, honey - they changed that law that says it's not credit card fraud it's done with a British accent. So please stop.


"January Jones and Jeremy Piven!?!" That's only really a question for January, isn't it?


Maybe Martha & Ivana are the leading edge of some sort of geriatric burlesque trend. I picture them opening up a club - let's call it "Strokes." Charlie Daniels can be the emcee.

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 20, 2010 9:08 AM | Report abuse

The wooshing sound you hear is the male lizards racing to place their bids. I think Britney could give some tips on how to get around those pesky credit card limits.

I didn't know that Jeff Conaway had enough brain left to hemorrage after all those drugs. Get well soon.

Neil Patrick Harris on Glee will be so cool. He's a real singer (unlike oh say J-Lo).

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2010 9:17 AM | Report abuse

I am prepared to out bid all of you.


Joss Whedon-directed episode of "Glee"...
-So I'm guessing that shortly after that episode Fox will cancel Glee.


Does it say something about my nerd sensibilities that I associate Jeff Conaway with Babylon 5 before Grease?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2010 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Songs Jay-Z and Bono should NOT cover as their Haiti song:

The Isley Brothers' "Twist And Shout"
Led Zeppelin's "You Shook Me"
The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations"
Big Joe Turner's "Shake, Rattle and Roll"
The Call's "The Walls Came Down"
Jerry Lee Lewis' "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On"
KC & The Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Booty"
Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction"

I'm sure there are others.

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 20, 2010 9:31 AM | Report abuse

Sorry guys. I understand that the banks have tightened up their lending policies and it may not be possible to get a second mortgage to bid on that Scarjo meeting.

Bet they cast NPH as Shuster's brother. They look enough alike. Can't wait!

Wow, doesn't look good for Jeff Conway. Hip fracture and arm fractures and intracranial hemorrhage from a drug addled fall down the stairs. Sad case.

Can't see the Charlie Daniels story to comment on his condition. Wish him a speedy recovery as well.

I'm sure the episode of Whatever, Martha! on FineLiving channel with the stripperpole will be a hoot. (Whatever, Martha! is a show where her daughter shows segments of Martha's show and snarks on it with her girlfriend. Pretty funny at times.)


Posted by: hodie | January 20, 2010 9:32 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, back in 05 after Katrina hit, one of our local radio stations had a telethon to raise money for the victims. It was all well and good until they played Zepplin's "When The Levee Breaks".

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2010 9:41 AM | Report abuse

"Johnny Depp leads GQ's list of most-stylish men" -- And boy, is Mickey Rourke mad! I won't even tell you Gary Busey's reaction.

"Scarlett Johansson auctions off meeting for Haiti relief" -- In related news, Lindsay Lohan kneepads are being airdropped from a rented seaplane.

"Jay-Z and Bono team up to record Haiti song" -- Just what Haitians trying to rebuild the basics of life need right now, a feel good song about what rockers want to do to help. This is not about you, Jay-Z and Bono! Sorry, I ain't buying "Do They Know It's Whatever." I'm giving my cash to the Red Cross instead.

"Neil Patrick Harris to guest-star on Joss Whedon-directed episode of 'Glee'" -- And boy is Jake Gyllenhaal mad! Jake'd been hoping to reprise with Mercedes his own (disastrous SNL) version of "And I'm telling you I'm not going."

"Martha Stewart learns how to work a stripper pole" -- I heard about this the other day. It just gives me visions of MS discussing her time in juvy (ha! I mean adult detention) and overanalyzing the best way to, oh skip it. I'm starting to feel ill....

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2010 9:43 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, since you've set the bar so low, may I add "Walls Come Tumbling Down" by The Style Council? Frankly, I'd rather buy a compilation of your songlist (to help relief efforts) than anything Bono and/or Jay-Z could cook up together.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2010 9:47 AM | Report abuse

ANYONE and Jeremy Piven?!?! *shudder*

Posted by: jaybbub | January 20, 2010 9:51 AM | Report abuse

How about Carole King's "I feel the Earth move."

Posted by: hodie | January 20, 2010 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Jon Stewart had about 30 seconds of the Martha Stewart bit at the end of last night's show. Neither mousespouse nor I could get to the remote fast enough.

Posted by: mouse4 | January 20, 2010 10:29 AM | Report abuse


Martha Stewart learns how to work a stripper pole...
- "So...Trixie....do you prefer lard or vegetable shortening?"
- "Brandi, did you know that when this pole wears out, it would make an excellent support for wax beans in your garden?"

Jay-Z and Bono team up to record Haiti song...
- "Beautiful Day" not a good idea. "99 Problems," however...sounds promising.

January Jones and Jeremy Piven!?!...
- They'll date until he realizes he's allergic to her.

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 20, 2010 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Not even the people who write those horrible SAT analogy questions that never make sense would think to put "Martha Stewart" and "stripper pole" together. Gah.

The Celebritology blurb on the blog posts list on the WaPo front page says, "ScarJo auctions herself for Haiti charity." My first thought was, wow, maybe there was something to that wacky Scarlett-clone rambling after all. Whichever Lizard wins the bidding war will have to report back for us. Good luck guys!

January Jones and Jeremy Piven? I doubt it. She was feeling a little under the weather and he offered to take her temperature, that's all. Perfectly innocent.

Posted by: northgs | January 20, 2010 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus, I thought B-5, then Taxi, then Grease. At least I went in reverse chronological order. But, yeah, B-5 was first and foremost.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2010 11:10 AM | Report abuse

January Jones and Jeremy Piven? I doubt it. She was feeling a little under the weather and he offered to take her temperature, that's all. Perfectly innocent.

Posted by: northgs | January 20, 2010 10:53 AM |

And now I have visions of Piven's 'mercury rising'. Brain bleach, please!

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2010 11:11 AM | Report abuse

With due respect to northgs at 10:53:

Martha Stewart:stripper pole::Quentin Tarantino:

a) a Met Life commercial
b) remake of Roman Holiday
c) the True Cross

Martha Stewart:stripper pole::Mother Teresa:

a) personalized line of hoodies
b) stripper pole
c) Quentin Tarantino

Posted by: enter_the_lemur | January 20, 2010 11:59 AM | Report abuse

With due respect to northgs at 10:53:

Martha Stewart:stripper pole::Quentin Tarantino:

a) a Met Life commercial
b) remake of Roman Holiday
c) the True Cross

Martha Stewart:stripper pole::Mother Teresa:

a) personalized line of hoodies
b) stripper pole
c) Quentin Tarantino

Posted by: enter_the_lemur | January 20, 2010 11:59 AM
====================================
Martha Stewart: Stripper pole :: Jeremy Piven:

a) sushi
b) broadway
c) January Jones

Martha Stewart: Stripper Pole :: NBC :

a) Conan O'Brien
b) David Letterman
c) ratings

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 20, 2010 12:12 PM | Report abuse

The Japanese animation of NBC's late-night wars is hilarious! (Though I'm waiting for the 30-seconds-reenacted-by-bunnies version to appear.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2010 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Martha Stewart: Stripper Pole:: Scott Brown

a) Senator
b) Cosmo Centerfold
c) Neil Patrick Harris
d) Ivana Trump

Jay-Z: Bono::Charlie Daniels:

a) Britney Spears
b) Amy Winehouse
c) Scarlett Johansson
d) Ryan Seacrest


Liz:Jen::Gene Weingarten:

a) Page the dog
b) Andy the cat
c) Scarlett Johansson
d) poop

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 20, 2010 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Whoa, doesn't look good for poor Jeff Conaway. Prayers to him.

What an bizarro world Brit-crazy lives in ... I've worked for many people and never has a condition of employment been that they can use my credit cards or anything else! ('Course, that condition would be a deal-breaker for me anyway ... what kinds of people are working for this woman?!)

Does LiLo have to go across the pond to get her kicks now since she's persona non grata here? Or maybe that French guy just hasn't gotten the Skank Alert.

However, jaybbub, I would say LiLo and Jeremy Piven would be perfect together.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 20, 2010 2:09 PM | Report abuse

January Jones and Jeremy Piven!?!...
- They'll date until he realizes he's allergic to her.

Posted by: mdreader01
* * *
Dang -- another keyboard ruined!

So is it just me who has a mental image of Bono endlessly channel-surfing through 24-hour news channels, waiting with bated breath for the next world tragedy he can appropriate for more self-aggrandizement?

-Snarky Squirrel, who has an unreasoning dislike of Bono, in case you can't tell.

Posted by: 7900rmc | January 20, 2010 2:18 PM | Report abuse

Hey sas, what about Opie the Cat?

Posted by: Californian11 | January 20, 2010 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Opie the cat:Dr. Molly Weingarten

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 20, 2010 2:33 PM | Report abuse

"Snarky, am I booging you? Don't. Mean. To boog you." --Bono

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2010 2:33 PM | Report abuse

Liz - The animated Conan video is not Japanese. It's in Chinese, from a news station in Hong Kong.

Posted by: sthere | January 20, 2010 4:17 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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