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Posted at 11:00 AM ET, 01/11/2010

Taylor Lautner is alive

By Liz Kelly

Taylor Lautner: Wanted dead or alive. (Summit Entertainment)

Doubtless legions of tween girls will rejoice to learn that Taylor Lautner and his skating pond-smooth chest are very much alive. This despite reports that hit the Web on Sunday evening claiming that the "Twilight" hunk had died. Although I can't seem to turn up any of the original posts, scads of denials have popped up to shout down the bogus report.

It isn't the first time Lautner's demise has been prematurely "reported." Back in 2008, rumors of Lautner's death in a London bar brawl were quickly debunked.

In 2009, Fox411 put together this handy list of celebs -- from Oprah to William Hung -- falsely accused of dying.

So, in summary: Taylor Lautner: alive. Taylor Swift: alive, but no longer dating Lautner. Elizabeth Taylor: alive and tweeting. Rip Taylor: Alive and fabulous. Robert Taylor, still dead.

By Liz Kelly  | January 11, 2010; 11:00 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Comments

Taylor Swift is alive BECAUSE she is no longer dating Taylor Lautner, him being a vampire and all. I also blame Joe Francis for the breakup.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 11, 2010 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Imagining his mama's relief when Taylor has to call home and tell his poor mother "stop cryin' Ma, I'm not dead yet". Imagining Team Edward fans starting rabies rumors and advocating for him to be put down once and for all.

Posted by: hodie | January 11, 2010 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Taylor Lautner learned a thing or two from Hotblack Desiato (the ajuitar keyboard player of the rock group Disaster Area, claimed to be the loudest band in the universe, and in fact the loudest sound of any kind, anywhere), who famously spent a year dead "for tax reasons."

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 11, 2010 12:06 PM | Report abuse

You forgot Taylor (Tay-Tay) Jacobson, who is alive, but managed to escape the clutches of Rachel Zoe, who may or may not have been feeding off of her life force. It's really a good move for all concerned.

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 11, 2010 12:10 PM | Report abuse

hey reddragon, I'm sure you're not the Twilight type so it is understandable that you didn't know that Taylor is not a vampire. He is a werewolf.

Posted by: hodie | January 11, 2010 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Like werewolves are WAAAY less dangerous. I guess if I had stopped minute to think, or google, which replaces thinking for alot of us, I would have known it.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 11, 2010 12:25 PM | Report abuse

mdreader, when I see "Rachel Zoe" I think of Zoe Deschanel, which makes me want to barf. I guess it's a personal problem.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 11, 2010 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget Taylor Hackford, Dame Helen Mirren's screenwriter hubby.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 11, 2010 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Taylor Hackford is officially still alive, but if Dame Helen keeps rockin those bikinis, I'm not sure his blood pressure can stand it.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 11, 2010 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Hahahahaha! Your summary made me laugh; you owe me a new monitor.

Posted by: DCCubefarm | January 11, 2010 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Taylor Lautner is alive...I can't decide if this is good news or bad.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 11, 2010 12:55 PM | Report abuse

American Idol Taylor Hicks: still grey.

Posted by: kirstenpaulson | January 11, 2010 1:14 PM | Report abuse

bah - how can you do a 'Taylor' joke and miss...

Chuck Taylor - still probably the best shoes you cant wear to work

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | January 11, 2010 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Props to Byoo for the H2G2 reference!

Posted by: mouse4 | January 11, 2010 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Taylor Negron, alive and fabulous in WeHo. He famously guested in the epi of "Friends" where the unemployed Monica pans his Lebanese character's dreadful Italian restaurant in a freelance review for a neighborhood newspaper, his character storms her apartment in a rage, and she winds up becoming the restaurant's new chef for several years.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 11, 2010 4:14 PM | Report abuse

What would a make out session between Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift be like anyway..."Oh, Taylor." "Oh, Taylor." "Oh, Taylor."

Posted by: Freelolscom | January 11, 2010 4:57 PM | Report abuse

Freelolscom, one could say that Ms. Swift and Mr. Lautner were "Taylor-made" for one another.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 11, 2010 5:50 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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