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Posted at 9:07 AM ET, 02/17/2010

Brangelina relocate to Venice; Kevin Eubanks leaving 'Tonight Show'?

By Liz Kelly

Headlines: Brangelina relocate to Venice... Madonna in talks to design clothing line for Macy's... John Malkovich shows menswear line... Katy Perry collaborating with Steve Madden on shoes?... Roger Ebert discusses life after cancer... Tori Spelling pens children's book... Sarah Silverman slammed for "special needs" comments... "Jersey Shore's" JWoww and Snooki not Italian... Tila Tequila settles suit with ex Shawne Merriman... Beyonce's dad ordered to pay child support.

Rumor Mill: Kevin Eubanks leaving the "Tonight Show"?... Tiger Woods ready to return to golf?... Elin Nordegren refuses to move back in with Woods... Paula Deen in talks to make "Idol" appearance... Prince William's hair PhotoShopped on magazine cover?... Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil to remarry?

Pix/Video: Lady Gaga sports pompadour at Brit Awards... What is Mischa Barton smoking?

Say What?
"And so I'm really excited that this show will be hosted by Jack Donaghy and the Jerk." -- "Precious" star Gabourey Sidibe on Academy Awards co-hosts Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin

By Liz Kelly  | February 17, 2010; 9:07 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Kevin Eubanks leaving the "Tonight Show"?

Sure, I'll miss his musicianship, but I wouldn't entirely blame him. Like saxophonist Branford Marsalis and drummer Jeff "Tain" Watts, Eubanks is an accomplished jazz musician who may well have had to pass up artistic opportunities over the years because of such a long-running gig. Perhaps he's decided that this transition period for the "Tonight" Show is the right time to start pursuing them. Best wishes.

Gabourey Sidibe
"And so I'm really excited that [the Oscar awards] show will be hosted by Jack Donaghy and the Jerk."

I find this a witty line (referencing well-known roles of Baldwin and Martin).

Roger Ebert discusses life after cancer.

Early Friday love to a brave soul.

AP wire headline:
"Alexander McQueen hanged himself in London home."

Did he use David Carradine's gear during the deed?

"Beyonce's dad ordered to pay child support."

The kid's first name is Nixon. WTF??? Is his middle name Milhous, too?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 9:34 AM | Report abuse

Lady Gaga sports pompadour at Brit Awards.

Are you saying that her 'do was over the top?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Jwoww and Snooki, not Italian. On behalf of Italians everywhere I say "Thank GOD."

Of course Tila settled with Shawne Merriman. She's got a new cash cow now. Who needs a mere football player when you can go for an owner's family?

Posted by: epjd | February 17, 2010 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Oh and NosyParker, thanks for sending me to the Good Wife Designer chat. So refreshing that someone gets it that micro mini skirts are not appropriate court wear or even office wear if one wants to be taken seriously as a professional.

Posted by: epjd | February 17, 2010 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Nor cleavage either, ep! Glad to be able to oblige. Thing is, Julia and Christine always look fantastic on the show without compromising their dignity.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 10:16 AM | Report abuse

Hoping Precious won't be the last we see of Gabourey Sidibe. She's like a breath of fresh air when compared to other actresses her age.

Posted by: kvs09 | February 17, 2010 10:16 AM | Report abuse

"Roger Ebert discusses life after cancer.
Early Friday love to a brave soul."

I second that, Nosy.

Posted by: jaybbub | February 17, 2010 10:16 AM | Report abuse

When is Brad Pitt going to get rid of that ridiculous, gnarly, dirty-looking beard?

As for Jack and the Jerk, all I can say is "go Gabby, go Gabby, it's your birthday, go Gabby!" She rocks!

Posted by: caroleg1 | February 17, 2010 10:18 AM | Report abuse

I meant Juliana. More tea, stat!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Brangelina moves yet again. In other News of the Obvious, the Pope is still Catholic & water is still wet.

I KNOW I shouldn't care or worry about those kids, but for some reason I do.

I know some military kids move a lot so if there's any out there maybe you can answer these questions for me:

What will all this moving around do to these kids, positively or negatively? It seems to me that they tend to stay places less than a year & even military families stay places longer than that.

What about school? Aren't 2 (or maybe more) of them school age? I'm sure they have tutors of every type known to man but it still seems like they're way too nomadic to assimilate into any normal school-type setting if ever the situation arises & they actually settle into one place for more than a few months at a time.

I know that since they're celebukids they'll have a hard time having a truly "normal" life, but still, it this rootless lifestyle worries me even though it shouldn't.

Posted by: wadejg | February 17, 2010 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Now I understand the reason for the restoration of the Doge's Palace when I was last in Venice.

Tori Spelling pens children's book. My kids used to get in trouble for doing that. Another of Candy's failings?

Elin, run away, run away.

Paula Deen on Idol. Excellent. I smell a plot to see how much they can annoy Simon before he leaves.

Posted by: hodie | February 17, 2010 10:28 AM | Report abuse

"Brangelina relocate to Venice." Ahh, Venice. It reminds them of New Orleans: it's underwater, but on purpose.

Scene From The Near Future:

50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN #1: Where you going?
50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN #2: Up the Highlands to Macy's. I'm going to get one of those Madonna outfits.
50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN #1: Oooh! You are going to be the hottest thing at the Brad Paisley concert over to Capitol Music Hall!

Tori Spelling pens children's book, and "What To Do When Mummy's A B*tch" is already in its fourth printing.

"JWoww and Snooki not Italian." They're barely simian, for crying out loud.

Ah, Kevin Eubanks, the "Tonight Show" won't be the same without you. But it will be very similar, so, you know, zzzzzzzzzz.

"Tiger Woods ready to return to golf" but he's terrified to ask Elin if he can have his seven-iron back.

"Paula Deen in talks to make "Idol" appearance." Because we've all wondered what that Pants On The Ground guy would look like covered in batter, deep fried, garnished with custard, icing sugar and topped with sprinkles.

"Prince William's hair PhotoShopped on magazine cover." And yet, for YEARS, they let HRH Chuckie's ears flap freely.

"Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil to remarry." To take advantage of the family rate at the local smack dealer, no doubt.

Posted by: byoolin1 | February 17, 2010 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the link to the Esquire article on Roger Ebert. It was insightful and touching.

Posted by: Ebola_22039 | February 17, 2010 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Second EPJD on the Italian's thanking G*D that those two aren't part of our tribe...

Second everyone yesterday talking about how life is still full of double standards for us wimmin folk.

Was anyone else bummed over how many superbowl commercials were about how some man's wife had is spine surgically removed or whatever. Had it only been one I might have found it funny but there were more...

I'm no fire breathing constantly on the look out type, it is just so easy to find which is a bummer...

On to happier things - I had a dream last night that I went out on a date with Jack Donaghy

Posted by: LTL1 | February 17, 2010 10:56 AM | Report abuse

i had read the esquire article about Ebert too. Let's be accurate -- it's about his life WITH cancer, not after it.

Posted by: patriciawsf | February 17, 2010 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I'm with you LTL on the Superbowl commercials. In fact after the succession of commercials of men in their underwear and female friend of mine pointed out how sexist the ads seemed this year. To which I replied that in this day in age there should be more commercials of women in their underwear, you know to maintain the balance.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | February 17, 2010 11:22 AM | Report abuse

To which I replied that in this day in age there should be more commercials of women in their underwear, you know to maintain the balance.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 |

I wonder which women Dorkus is writing about.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 17, 2010 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, I wish I could say that Alexander McQueen's death was accidental. But the police reported it was intentional. His mother had died the week before, he was in a dispute with a business partner and he had a long history of mental instability.

Posted by: mdreader01 | February 17, 2010 11:32 AM | Report abuse

md, I was just being snarky. Normal people are deeply bereaved when a parent dies (been there), but not suicidal.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 11:49 AM | Report abuse

More love to Roger Ebert.

Steve Case realizes Sarah Silverman isn't funny, announces this via Twitter (is that irony?). Or he could just have looked it up using keyword "old news".

Posted by: northgs | February 17, 2010 12:06 PM | Report abuse

"Tori Spelling pens children's book" -- Here's an excerpt from the upcoming stage version of "What To Do When Mummy's A B*tch." The main characters are "Lori," a young girl, and her mother "Mandy," aka "Mummy."

[The scene opens on an idyllic breakfast nook the size of an airplane hanger.]

LORI: I need coffee, stat. Is breakfast ready?

MANDY: Breakfast? Is that all I get. No good morning? It's three in the afternoon. Breakfast ended an hour ago.

LORI: I'm so sorry, Mummy. It's just that this house is so big, all these hallways and projection rooms and bowling alleys. I got lost.

MANDY: You'll have to pick up something on the drive to the studio. Daddy will meet you there to talk about your character's new nose and diet plan.

LORI [sighing]: OK, Mummy. I love you so much! [Runs over to kiss Cindy goodbye.]

MANDY: AAAH! What are you doing, you stupid girl? Don't touch me. Can't you see I just my hair done in the salon? We're going to have to let one of the stylists go to hire another maid. Twenty bathrooms don't clean themselves, you know!

LORI [trying to locate the back door]: OK then. I'll see you late tonight after this episode wraps. Thank you Mommie Dear--, er, haha, I mean Mummy!

MANDY [calling after her]: You're not going out the door wearing that, are you?

[Lori exits the back door and flees to the motor pool before Mandy can say another word. CURTAIN.]

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 17, 2010 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Child collector Angelina speaking out AGAINST adoption? Huh?

Posted by: Californian11 | February 17, 2010 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Ah dorkus if the women wearing underwear were of the calibure of the men wearing underwear in that commercial you'd voluntarily burn your retinas...

PS I am all for equal opportunity nudity let it start with TV and movies...

Posted by: LTL1 | February 17, 2010 1:30 PM | Report abuse

"Beyonce's dad ordered to pay child support."

Um, isn't Beyonce old enough to support herself?

["ask for his his nine iron back" -- too funny, byoolin!]

-Snarky Squirrel

Posted by: 7900rmc | February 17, 2010 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the reinforcement on the Super Bowl commercials. Between the Dodge Charger, the shopping trip and the leaving the wife on the road Bridgestone ad, I was disgusted by the all-women-are-controlling-harpies theme. Then of course the always reliably vile Go Daddy ads, which are failing to accomplish what they once did (hey, "sex sells" so we'll use sex to market our domain hosting business! How over the top funny!) In fairness, the ads weren't necessarily very men-friendly either with quite a few doofus bits.

Give me Betty White. Give me Clydesdales. Oh, and the Doritos doggie collar, which made me laugh.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | February 17, 2010 4:10 PM | Report abuse

I liked the green police that was awesome and I am a greenie all the way

Posted by: LTL1 | February 17, 2010 4:27 PM | Report abuse

cat, now we have Olympics commercials to critique, too.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 17, 2010 4:28 PM | Report abuse

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