Fergie's robotic transformation
Fergie-bot. (AP)
What's that? You've long suspected Fergie of springing whole cloth from some top secret record company generic pop singer robot lab?
Well, after Wednesday's Black Eyed Peas appearance at New York's Madison Square Garden there can be no doubt. Fergie Ferg seems to be the latest pop diva to show every outward sign of some kind of robot metamorphosis. And it isn't just the elaborate costume screen printed with futuristic images of gears and rivets and other techie looking stuff. It's the vacant, vaguely Stepford-ian stare. One can almost imagine laser beams shooting from her empty eyes, instantly sapping the few remaining brain cells left to Black Eyed Peas concertgoers.
I'm not sure what's going on in the music industry -- that's more the domain of Click Track -- but perhaps building an army of robot women is some kind of last ditch attempt at salvaging plummeting album sales.
And, lest you accuse me of paranoia, consider robot Beyonce, who in 2008 started encasing herself in a hideous Metropolis-like shell for concerts and started wearing some kind of sinister bionic hand. Beyonce who, it should be noted, walked away from January's Grammys with a record-breaking six awards. Dismissed as coincidence.
(AP)
(Getty Images)
Not enough evidence, you say? Then explain Janet Jackson's concert gear which also bears some vaguely mechanical flourishes. Here she is commanding her rhythm nation to -- who knows? -- burn Justin Timberlake in effigy:
(Marvin Joseph/TWP)
When the final robot reckoning comes, don't say I didn't warn you.
By
Liz Kelly
| February 25, 2010; 11:00 AM ET
Categories:
Celebrities
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Posted by: KevFromArlington | February 25, 2010 11:11 AM | Report abuse
Elliot Smith was all about Robot Hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgQZBsL3f8s
Posted by: Christopher Dean Hopkins | February 25, 2010 11:23 AM | Report abuse
More to the point than what they wear, they all use robots (Auto Tune) to sing. What depressed me more about the remake of "We Are the World" for Haiti was that so little of it was sung by unaltered human voices.
Posted by: mdreader01 | February 25, 2010 11:54 AM | Report abuse
Of course the record companies are using robots. You can send a robot on tour, without any embarassing personal info interfering. They don't do drugs, they don't trash hotel rooms. And the 3 Laws makes it so much easier to negotiate contracts. Susan Calvin might be annoyed though.
Posted by: epjd | February 25, 2010 12:02 PM | Report abuse
I for one welcome our new female pop-star overlords....
Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | February 25, 2010 12:07 PM | Report abuse
Isaac Asimov, the Simpsons and sexy machine-women: IS THIS HEAVEN?
Posted by: byoolin1 | February 25, 2010 12:34 PM | Report abuse
I'm pretty sure it was Grace Jones who was first captured by the Borg.
Posted by: hodie | February 25, 2010 12:43 PM | Report abuse
Maybe they are coming for old people's medicine.
Posted by: Handsome_John_Pruitt | February 25, 2010 12:45 PM | Report abuse
And here I thought that industry-produced robo-pop was contained to "American Idol". Silly me.
Posted by: northgs | February 25, 2010 1:18 PM | Report abuse
Oh, and I'm pretty sure Rhianna is a Cyborg too.
Posted by: hodie | February 25, 2010 1:27 PM | Report abuse
I take it that Dorkus and Byoolin can't wait to be assimilated. I think they're in line ahead of me.
Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 25, 2010 1:51 PM | Report abuse
hodie, besides Grace Jones don't forget LaBelle.
Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 25, 2010 1:53 PM | Report abuse
Yes, I believe Grace and Patti LaBelle were transformed during the first Alien invasion. Not all are women though, remember Devo?
Posted by: hodie | February 25, 2010 2:14 PM | Report abuse
Devo didn't think they were men, either.
Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 25, 2010 3:11 PM | Report abuse
Well, I for one welcome our new robo-diva overlords.
Posted by: fluxgirl | February 25, 2010 3:18 PM | Report abuse
I take it that Dorkus and Byoolin can't wait to be assimilated. I think they're in line ahead of me.
Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot
*********************************************
Sas, if they look like Rhianna, Beyonce, Fergie, and Jeri Ryan, they can assimilate me all day long.
Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | February 25, 2010 3:33 PM | Report abuse
"Maybe they are coming for old people's medicine."
Good topical reference. High five!
Posted by: ozpunk | February 25, 2010 3:37 PM | Report abuse
Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissina would be proud - Bring in the FEMBOTS!
Posted by: wrigleywrat | February 25, 2010 4:11 PM | Report abuse
These outfits are a great backup for airbags and seat belts...
Posted by: sarahbonnie1 | February 26, 2010 8:56 AM | Report abuse
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Who knew that Skynet would be founded by female pop stars?