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Posted at 8:14 AM ET, 03/ 1/2010

Gatorade drops Tiger Woods; Marie Osmond's son dead in apparent suicide

By Liz Kelly
Monday

Headlines: Gatorade drops Tiger Woods endorsement deal... Marie Osmond's son dead at 18... Jay Leno returns to 11:35 p.m. "Tonight Show" slot tonight... "You're So Vain" not about David Geffen, says Carly Simon... Jude Law meets five-month-old daughter... Daniel Radcliffe records gay suicide prevention PSA... Tour promoter blames smoking for Whitney Houston's mediocre performances... Bomb scare at Ozzy Osbourne book signing event... Solange Knowles's Twitter account hacked... Jim Carrey welcomes first grandchild... Chynna Phillips completes rehab for anxiety... Chris Noth and "Jersey Shore's" Snooki survive nightclub roof collapse.

Crime Watch: Andy Griffith statue vandalized.

Rumor Mill: Marie Osmond's son left suicide note... Denise Richards could testify against Charlie Sheen... Paula Abdul won't be "Dancing with the Stars"... Katie Holmes prepping for second baby?... Taylor Lautner to play "Stretch Armstrong"?

Pix: Lady Gaga wears massive lobster hat... Britney Spears back to blond again... Courtney Love, up close and personal.

Video: In case you missed it, Jennifer Lopez on this weekend's "SNL"...

As herself:

As Rihanna:

By Liz Kelly  | March 1, 2010; 8:14 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Comment Box: Andrew Koenig; Miss Golden Globes; Mickey Rourke

Comments

Monday love to Marie Osmond and her family. And continued love to Andrew Koenig's family.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 8:32 AM | Report abuse

Hey, Daniel could you record one of those PSAs for straight people too. Looks like we need one.

As snarkalicious as the Osmonds are, I think I will refrain this time. Condolences and Monday love.

On the other hand - whoever vandalized the Andy Griffith statute better watch out, Barney Fife is looking for you. And Aunt Bea is not happy either.

That was no bomb, that was Ozzy's lunch.

Posted by: epjd | March 1, 2010 8:49 AM | Report abuse

"Katie Holmes been undergoing intense Scientology 'auditing' -- sparking rumors that she's 'being prepared' for her second baby with high-priest husband Tom Cruise."

Or they could "just do it." Unless, one supposes, Wee Tom's not man enough for the job.


"You're So Vain" not about David Geffen, says Carly Simon.

Then again, that apricot scarf, a rakishly askew hat and gavotting aren't exactly macho.


Tour promoter blames smoking for Whitney Houston's mediocre performances.

Smoking WHAT?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 8:52 AM | Report abuse

RIP Michael Blosil.

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 1, 2010 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else watch last evening's Moose-Fest? The Shat was a hoot! Also liked the belated lighting of the fourth leg of the Olympic torch.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Good thing Gatorade hasn't been advertising itself as improving reaction times.


"Jay Leno returns to 11:35" - so now what will I use to fall asleep before the news?


"Tour promoter blames smoking for Whitney Houston's mediocre performances." Well, whatever she's smoking, it's clear that cutting it with powdered bleach is not the way to go.


"Bomb scare at Ozzy Osbourne book signing event..." answers the question, "I wonder what Tony Iommi is up to these days?"


RT @Solange_Knowles This is the first remotely interesting thing I've tweeted - acc't must have been hacked.


MEMO FROM: Chris Noth
MEMO TO: Martin Lesak, CAA
SUBJECT: Last night
Martin,
If I ever see my name in a news or blog article containing the word "Snooki" AGAIN, I will find a new agent so fast your head will spin. Do I make myself clear? Good.
- Chris.


Proofreading note, Liz Kelly: That last item should be, "Courtney Love, up close and (@#$(*@#$& terrifying."

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 1, 2010 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, the belated lighting of the fourth leg of the Olympic torch was pretty cool.

Not as cool as the Canadian men winning the hockey game, mind you...

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 1, 2010 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Hey byoolin, howdja like those inflatable meese and beavers last night?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 9:31 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, did I miss something, or did native British Columbian star Diana Krall (from Nanaimo, no less!) not perform at either the opening or closing ceremony? I assume Gordon Lightfoot's self-inflicted substance problems over the decades have wrecked his health to much for him to be able to perform any more (though I fondly recall his "Alberta Bound" from the '88 Calgary games). Also, how come no Mario Lemieux (next greatest recent hockey star after Gretsky)?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 9:37 AM | Report abuse

"too much" (ack!)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

"You're So Vain" not about David Geffen, says Carly Simon... But she got very quiet when someone asked if it was about byoolin.


And this is how I read these two headlines:

Daniel Radcliffe records gay suicide prevention PSA... for Whitney Houston's mediocre performances...

And I admit it still made sense to me.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | March 1, 2010 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, I missed the meese. We were watching at a friend's house and left just after Neil sang.

I for one would have voted for Diana singing instead of that Canadian Idol pap on the pillars. (Poor Nikki Yanofsky: "Two weeks ago I was singing the anthem, and now *this*?")

Gordon Lightfoot couldn't make it because he's, you know, dead. (Great article about that rumour at Globe and Mail website: http://bit.ly/b1Tze1)

The Lovely Mrs. byoolin and I joked about Crosby, who lived (and maybe still lives) in Mario's house: "Now that I won, can I sleep upstairs?" "Well, Sidney, I've won *two* Stanley Cups, you know...")

And Dorkus, I confess: I *love* eclipses.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 1, 2010 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Courtney Love... making Katherine Helmond from Brazil look good.

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | March 1, 2010 10:07 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, if a certain someone, who presumably can see Canada as well as Russia from her house, was watching last evening's Moose-Fest on TV, I bet it lathered her up into paroxysms of hunter-lust. I'd sure hate to be a moose near Wasilla this AM. And it's probably a lucky thing if she wasn't at the closing ceremony, because she might've deflated the inflatable meese. One can only imagine what she'd have done to those inflatable large furry rodents with buck teeth and leathery paddle-tails.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Wow, when you're sitting next to Ron Wood & YOU'RE to one that looks old, it's time to just give up Courtney.

For the fogeys here, she also looks a little like Madame.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EWTs85lrfn0/SORBaEBnymI/AAAAAAAABaE/8-BE2B1vPjk/s400/madame2.jpg

Posted by: wadejg | March 1, 2010 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, Byoo,

Gordon Lightfoot must not be dead and he is still touring because he's performing here in Memphis next week.

Unfortunately, I had a choice of seeing him on Mar. 7th or Clapton on Mar 5th.

I took the 5th.

I'm impressed w/the Canadians' ability to poke fun at themselves. But when you have 14 gold medals, including 2 for hockey, it's probably not that hard...

Thanks, Byoo, for not gloating TOOO much.

Posted by: dablues1 | March 1, 2010 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Why did Gatorade drop Tiger Woods? I thought that Gatorade's slogan, "Is it in you?" applied specifically to Tiger's paramours.

Somebody tell me why I should give a $%^ about Jay Leno being anywhere? I'm not giving up Colbert at 11:30 for any other show. BTW, did anyone think to put out Colbert's Olympic flame?

"You're So Vain," is not about David Geffen. "Killer Queen" is.

Paula Abdul will not be dancing with the stars....at least not until she's sober.

If I were the B-52s, I'd consider suing lady Gaga for plagiarism, though to be fair, she's wearing a Homarus americanus, not a Panulirus interruptus.

Of course Whitney Houston's problems are sue to smoking. Now will someone please tell her to put DOWN that crack pipe?

I wonder if Britney's interior decorator has advised her to swap out the carpet.

Jude Law greets son thusly: "Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name. What's puzzling you is just the nature of my game."

Sid the Kid may have his name on Lord Stanley's Cup and a gold medal around his neck, but his still living at Papa Mario's place. Will he ever grow up? Betcha he sends $8,900,000 of his paycheck back home. I hereby award Sidney Crosby a new middle initial: the Bucky Dent Commemorative F. From now on, I will refer to him as S.F. Crosby. If you're puzzled, ask a Red Sox fan.

Hmmmm....someone puts lipstick on Andy Griffith.....GOMER!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 1, 2010 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, it's Courtney Love's MAKEUP that's over the top. Uh huh. She is now neck-and-neck in the Worst Plastic Surgery stakes, hurtling headlong towards that Cat Lady.

I read "the statue of Andy and Opie" and immediately thought, wow, Liz's kitties have a heckuva fan club. =^..^=

Posted by: Californian11 | March 1, 2010 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Snooki hailed as hero when her hair bump saves scores from falling glass and debri in nigthclub roof collapse. News at eleven.

Notice the Opie statue was untouched. I'm just sayin....

Wouldn't Paula's history as a professional dancer disqualify her from DWTS? (I prefer the acronym DimWiTS)

Katie Holmes preparing for baby no. 2. Will she be cloistered at one of those convents where they have taken a vow of silence, to prepare for her quiet labor and delivery?

I'm late but couldn't someone have warned me NOT to click on that Courtney Love link?? ....Yeah, I guess I've been on Lizard Island long enough to know better.

Posted by: hodie | March 1, 2010 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Sas, I will assume the F in S.F. Crosby is the same F used in the song "Ted F______ Williams" by The Baseball Project.

Dablues, gloating kept to a minimum by the belief that when you win in OT it's often a testament to luck and right-time-at-right-placeness.

Added perspective came from my neighbour Dan, who left a bottle of red wine at my doorstep this morning. The card with it is addressed to "You Insufferable B*st*rds". So there I was, standing on my porch at 8am with a bottle of wine in my hand, laughing my head off.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 1, 2010 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Foutrer par l'affirmative , Byoo'.

Lightfoot's voice ain't what it used to be. After half a lifetime of booze and cigarettes, and weeks in a come from a ruptured aorta, no one's voice would be what it used to be. If you're into Canadian musical artists, I recommend Bruce Cockburn, who either was not invited to appear at the ceremonies, or who decided to turn down the inviatation.

BTW, Neil Young performed the same tune, "Long May You Run," on Conan's last show. Neil, it's always a nice to see ya.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 1, 2010 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Online WaPo chat right now re last night's Moose-Fest:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/03/01/DI2010030100051.html

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Hey Liz and Jen, Cool new Banner!

Posted by: hodie | March 1, 2010 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Re the new banner: Looks nice. But who you callin' a junkie? I can quit any time I want to, really, truly, honestly! OK, so who am I kidding?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Hey, what happened to the new header? Was that just a test?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Totally unable to care about Leno, Conan, late-night "wars", whatever.

Still puzzled as to what a "snooki" is and why it's famous.

Heartbreaking about Marie Osmond's son. Monday love to her and her family.

Posted by: jaybbub | March 1, 2010 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Just asking: Why did we need TWO clips of JLo on SNL? I got through one minute of each clip and died of boredom twice. Did it get funny after that?

Tonight at 10: Chris Noth and Snooki, on a brand-new "Law & Odor." Bum BUM.

Whitney credits smoking for her performance? Who is she, Robert Palmer?

And Nosy, I think Diana Krall performed at the Opening Ceremonies. I recall napping at least once during that evening and I think it was when she came on to sing the three notes in her range. Don't get me wrong, she plays piano very well, but she always sings like she has narcolepsy and is just about to drif---

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | March 1, 2010 1:29 PM | Report abuse

td, wasn't that Sarah MacLachlan?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 1, 2010 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, you're right. It was Sarah. My bad. (Not a big fan of hers either.) Diana must've cured my insomnia another time.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | March 1, 2010 2:03 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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