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Posted at 7:21 AM ET, 03/10/2010

Lindsay Lohan confirms she's out at Ungaro; Letterman extortionist pleads guilty

By Liz Kelly

Celebrity Beat: Lindsay Lohan confirms she's out at Ungaro; Dina Lohan rushes to daughter's defense in "milkaholic" ad dust-up... Charlie Sheen to return to TV set Tuesday... Howard Stern says "enormous" Gabourey Sidibe will never work again... Marie Osmond returns to Vegas stage after son's funeral... Hilary Duff to write series of young adult novels... Molly Ringwald records jazz album... Katherine Heigl goes brunette... Andy Whitfield, star of new "Spartacus" series, diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

Video: Heidi Montag stars in Ron Howard-directed "Funny or Die" clip...

Pop Culture Mix: Vancouver man files lawsuit against "Avatar," claiming the movie stole his story... Robert De Niro onboard to play Vince Lombardi in biopic... Andy Richter still ticked at Leno... the latest news on casting "Captain America"... "Lost's" Yunjin Kim dishes on the rest of season six... Cornell Law highlights fictional alum Andy Bernard... "Alice in Wonderland" gets iPhone app.

Oscar mysteries solved: George Clooney's scowling was part of a joke... Lady Kanye speaks out... Farrah Fawcett's omission from In Memoriam is explained.

Crime Watch: Accused David Letterman extortionist pleads guilty, gets six months in jail... DMX back in jail for probation violation... Alleged Ryan Seacrest stalker to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

Rumor Mill: Jennifer Aniston set to launch her own perfume... Dennis Hopper's estranged wife refuses to move out... Jeremy Renner denies hitting on Jessica Simpson... Gerard Butler "all over" Madonna at post-Oscar bash?... Demi Moore gives daughter Rumer a pole-dancing lesson... Amy Winehouse planning to remarry ex in Vegas?... Hugh Grant to star in "My Fair Lady" remake?... Katy Perry to voice Smurfette in new movie?... Ryan Gosling dating actress Casey LaBow?

Say What?
"I wish I’d never had my breasts done the last time. They’ve put these bloody great bags in that are too [expletive] round -- it-s like a waterbed on your chest. I hate my tits." -- The always eloquent Sharon Osbourne.

By Liz Kelly  | March 10, 2010; 7:21 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Corey Haim dead at 38


Lady Kanye is not helping her case by continuing to talk. Sometimes silence is a sign of eloquence.

Lindsey just can't keep a job can she. No wonder she is suing. You should see the legal community's comments about her lawyer. My reaction "Fame wh0re, meet fame wh0re."

Going brunette will not help the Heigl thing unless she takes my advice to Lady Kanye.

Of course Seacrest's stalker need a psych eval. Consider the stalkee.

Way to be a great parent Demi. Stripper is not a viable career goal for anyone. Can people please realize this. Thank you.

Posted by: epjd | March 10, 2010 8:29 AM | Report abuse

RIP Corey Haim:

Wednesday love to his family and friends.

Posted by: epjd | March 10, 2010 8:42 AM | Report abuse

Their explanation for Farrah's absence doesn't work, considering they included Michael Jackson who might be slightly better known for his music than his movies.

Posted by: mcleve | March 10, 2010 8:46 AM | Report abuse

Will the eval help to explain why he's stalking Seabiscuit?

Posted by: LTL1 | March 10, 2010 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Hugh Grant as Henry Higgins? Horrible idea. He can't sell cranky. I nominate Hugh Laurie.

Posted by: ras4q | March 10, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Dina Lohan rushes to daughter's defense in "milk-a-holic" dustup; maintains that Lindsay is lactose intolerant.

Posted by: northgs | March 10, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl is looking pretty good as a brunette.

I was so looking forward to seeing John Kraskinki as Captain America. I was hoping he'd put the Red Skull's ultimate weapon in jell-o.

On a side note, at least we won't have another horrible Lost Boys sequel.

(But we'll miss you Corey)

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | March 10, 2010 9:43 AM | Report abuse

RIP Corey Haim. And Ron Silver.

Dina Lohan "rushes to the front of the line for a piece of any settlement," more like.

That's bad news for Andy Whitfield, doubly so, since the show isn't called "Spartacus Gets Cancer."

'Heidi Montag stars in Ron Howard-directed "Funny or Die" clip.' Dammit. How come it's never 'die'? (Although I suppose it was probably too much to expect to find a Ron Howard-directed snuff film on the internet.)

"Robert De Niro onboard to play Vince Lombardi in biopic." And Verne Troyer will play the trophy.

I read "Andy Richter still ticked at Leno," and thought to myself, "who???"
Then I remembered: JAY... Jay Leno.

Oscar mysteries still unsolved: WTF was that dance number? Why didn't anyone taser Elinor Burkett? Why won't Miley Cyrus stand up straight?

"Alleged Ryan Seacrest stalker to undergo psychiatric evaluation." When the words "Ryan Seacrest stalker" appear in a sentence, you know that a psychiatric evaluation is closing the barn door after the horse has left.

VOICEOVER: "Jen," by Jennifer Aniston: attract the man that smells a little bit like the man you wish your man could smell like.

"Jeremy Renner denies hitting on Jessica Simpson." Of course he denies it: no man wants to be called a Romo.

Demi's so sweet to encourage Rumer. But she needs to be honest: with a face like that, Rumer's going to need a boob job to make a living at it.

Proofreading note, JeLi: I think you meant to type, "Amy Winehouse planning to remarry ex in coke-, meth- and smack-fueled haze."

Hugh Grant's "My Fair Lady" remake will update the plot somewhat: Higgins will try to make the girl, played by Divine Brown, sound like she's not talking with her mouth full.

With that soundbite, Sharon Osbourne removes herself from speculation that she was the woman in the Commodores song, "Three Times A Lady."

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 10, 2010 9:50 AM | Report abuse

This just in: Amy Winehouse signs Billy Idol to sing "White Wedding" at her Vegas nuptials.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2010 10:12 AM | Report abuse

...Henry Higgins? ...I nominate Hugh Laurie.

Perfect casting, ras4q!!! How about Anne Hathaway as Eliza, since she could actually sing her own songs as well as look the part? Perhaps Michael Caine, a genuine Cockney, as her father ("Get Me to the Church on Time"), and Hugh Jackman as the pining Freddy Eynsford-Hill.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Huggh Grant to star as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady remake.

Ryan Seacrest stalker to be evaluated to determine whether a new category should be added to DSM V.

Jeremy Renner claims he wasn't trying to pick up Jessica Simpson. Renner heard someone claim that Simpson is "da Bomb," and set about to defuse her.

Sharon, you should have had the implants filled with air instead of water, then you could have had your own set of personal flotation devices.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 10, 2010 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Howard who? Oh, yeah, I vaguely remember that loudmouth from radio, back in the day.

Posted by: kbockl | March 10, 2010 10:41 AM | Report abuse

Well my brilliant comments were just eaten so I'll sum up as follows:

1) Gerard Butler ("Phantom of the Opera") and Madonna ("Evita") were just rehearsing for their film version of "Starlight Express" (shudder). Imagine them on skates.

2) Marie Osmond should be left alone; she just buried a kid. Direct your snark at her "close friend" Mary Hart who reported on the funeral for "Entertainment Tonight" complete with interviews at the cemetery.

3) Howard Stern may be rude, but 2/3 of Hollywood said "yup" when they read that. Here's hoping Gaby beats the odds and that her next gig isn't "Celebrity Fit Club." She needs Planet Oprah to get into the act.

4) Molly Ringwald's new jazz album will feature lots of sax, some brushes on the drums, and the soon-to-be-classics "My Grandmother Just Felt Me Up" and "Watch Me Put on Lipstick by Holding the Tube in My Bra."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | March 10, 2010 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Molly Ringwald records jazz album.

Wasn't (isn't) her father a jazz musician? Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Gerard Butler "all over" Madonna at post-Oscar bash.

Are you sure he's young enough for her?

Howard Stern says "enormous" Gabourey Sidibe will never work again.

Howard, just STFU and go away, you ugly POS.

Lindsay Lohan confirms she's out at Ungaro.

SamRo thought LiLo was "out" elsewhere as well.

Accused David Letterman extortionist pleads guilty, gets six months in jail.

Last night Dave thanked the prosecutors who handled the case, but said little else re it. Very classy. BTW, did anyone else notice that the first two Letterman mentioned were Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance and former DA Robert Morgenthau? Nothing like political scions, huh?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 10:53 AM | Report abuse

"They're little babies doing this, mocking another child who's just trying to survive Hollywood, basically," Dina Lohan said.

- Dina...the babies aren't REAL and your CHILD is an ADULT.

Howard Stern, saying Gabby Sidibe will never work again, just put himself in the running with Rush Limbaugh (I'll leave the US if Health Care Reform passes) as Motivation of the Year.

Heidi Montag makes a video promoting financial consumer protection. Is she feeling ripped off because her financial consultant assured her all that plastic surgery would be tax deductable?

Gerard Butler "all over" Madonna at post-Oscar bash?
- Of course. Gerald was planning to use Madonna as a human shield in case Gabby Sibide decided to "hit that."

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 10, 2010 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Seriously, Dina? No wonder LiLo thinks everything is about her. I didn't get that impression at all when I saw the commercial - I was thinking more along the lines of Gossip Girl/90210 cat fight or something. I don't know. But NOT Lilo.

Howard - good that you're looking out for others - the only difference between you and Gabby - she can change how she looks IF she pleases. You, on the other hand, are stuck with that ugly buttface.

Posted by: JenEFur | March 10, 2010 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Yes, ras4q, Hugh Laurie as Henry Higgins! A petition should be started.

Alice in Wonderland iphone app is great!

Posted by: IrishFox | March 10, 2010 11:51 AM | Report abuse

IrishFox, it worked for getting Betty White to host SNL. So let's do it again for Hugh Laurie in MFL. We have the grassroots power!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 12:21 PM | Report abuse

There are far too many Ryans, Taylors and Dermots in Hollywood and I can never keep 'em straight. I'm guessing the Ryan who is married to Scarlett Johansson is not one of the two mentioned today.

Howard Stern, misogynist much? Geez. Might wanna see someone about that hateful vitriol spewing out.

Stay classy, Demi. If I never hear the words "pole-dancing" again, it will be too soon.

Speaking of Demi, did anyone catch the Fashion Police on E! last night? It was pretty funny when Joan Rivers said it wasn't Demi Moore at the Oscars, due to all that plastic surgery she didn't look like herself anymore. Um, pot, meet kettle ...

That Montag person's boobs are comical-looking. She makes Pamela Anderson's look conservative.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 10, 2010 1:34 PM | Report abuse

OK, I just have to say this re. the Gaby Sidibe dust-up. I noticed while watching the Oscars, a striking difference between the physical "perfection" of the women and the "normality" of the men. Just a few I noticed are: Morgan Freeman has crooked/protruding teeth, Harvey Weinstein is a big guy with bad skin, even the night's hottie Jeremy Renner has bad skin. The guys let themselves go gray, have wrinkles, gain weight, whatever. Yet nobody says anything like "oh, John Travolta/Alec Baldwin/etc. will never work again, he's huge" or "wow, Morgan Freeman has bad teeth." It's only the women actors who are held to an impossible standard of "perfection" and are criticized for real bodies, grey hair, wrinkles, etc.

And now, off my soapbox and back to our regularly scheduled snark.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 10, 2010 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Gaby Sidibe should lose some weight so she can stay healthy and stay acting for years to come. But really, Howard Stern? The entire Oscar weekend to choose from and you go for the fat girl jokes? That material got old in eighth grade.

I'm sorry to see the news about Corey Haim; I wasn't part of his fanclub back in the day, but I know he was important for a lot of folks here.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | March 10, 2010 2:08 PM | Report abuse

One thing no one has mentioned re the Howard Stern spew is that ROBIN QUIVERS his suck-up sidekick was in on this "discussion"--um, hello Robin? No model of svelte yourself, have NEVER been in a theatrical movie that wasn't directly related to Stern, much less received critical acclaim for absolutely ANYTHING. Way to sell out just the kind of "invisible" black girls Precious was designed to give some validation to. I propose an Oprah-Quivers smackdown.

P.S. Nosy--I answered your question/opined yesterday re the docu awards drama a little late, but it's there.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | March 10, 2010 4:11 PM | Report abuse

My money's on Oprah.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 10, 2010 4:17 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, cat!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 4:22 PM | Report abuse

My money's on Oprah.

Posted by: Californian11 |

Yep. Me too!

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | March 10, 2010 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, I'm sold on that cast! I think we nailed it.

Posted by: ras4q | March 10, 2010 7:31 PM | Report abuse

ras4q, I just thought of another asset that Anne Hathaway would bring to her role. She's co-starred in two "Princess Diaries" films with the originator of musical Eliza, Julie Andrews. Who better to coach Anne?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 11:15 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and ras4q, thank you so much for kicking off this entire casting brainstorm by proposing Hugh Laurie for Professor Henry Higgins. Pure genius on your part!

Hmmm, maybe we could cast Stephen Fry as Mr. Doolittle, instead of Michael Caine (not that I have anything against Caine, mind you, but Fry and Laurie go waaay back as a comedy duo). Whaddya think?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 10, 2010 11:17 PM | Report abuse

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