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Posted at 7:26 AM ET, 03/24/2010

Lindsay Lohan designing bags for Ed Hardy; 'New Moon' DVDs already outselling 'Twilight'

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney
Wednesday

Celebrity Beat: Lindsay Lohan to design handbags for Ed Hardy... Kelly Osbourne joins "Dr. Phil" as contributor, fractures elbow in dog fight... Jesse James owes California more than $3K in back taxes... Carmen Electra says she regrets having breast surgery... Angelina Jolie's teenage modeling photos up for auction... Danny Glover tries to block shutdown of Ohio Hugo Boss plant... Oprah settles defamation suit with former school headmistress... Akon blocked from entering Sri Lanka... Claudia Schiffer expecting a daughter.

Video: Four minutes of your life to spare? Watch "The View"-sters debate health care...

Crime Watch: Accused Audrina Patridge stalker ordered to undergo mental evaluation... California attorney general asks court to revoke Conrad Murray's medical license... Dennis Hopper claims estranged wife stole $1.5 million of art from him... Suge Knight wanted in connection with beating, robbery.

Rumor Mill: Sandra Bullock not interviewing divorce lawyers, says rep... Porn star claims Tiger Woods paid her for threesomes... Pam Anderson mistook "DWTS" co-star Kate Gosselin for Octomom... Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush splitting?... Lady Gaga fishes in eight-inch heels... Jamie Foxx penning script for "Laverne and Shirley" remake?... Paris Hilton's boyfriend creating reality show.

Pop Culture Mix: "New Moon" already outselling "Twilight" DVD... New "Eclipse" promo poster debuts... Zach Braff confirms the end of "Scrubs" via Facebook posting... Zack Snyder talks "300" prequel and -- because all the kids are doing it these days -- a "300" re-release in 3D... "Hangover 2" to get 3-D treatment, too?... "Scream 4" moves forward with Wes Craven directing, Kevin Williamson writing and Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette all returning... Richard Gere, Keira Knightley and Eric Bana join adaptation of "The Emperor's Children"... Hank Stuever reviews "Fly Girls," the new CW reality series that (requisite air-travel pun alert!) never takes off... Trailer for Edgar Wright's "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" to debut in U.K. this weekend, on screens showing "Kick-Ass"... A love song for Richard Alpert of "Lost," just in case you need something to tide you over until the dueling analysis goes up later this morning.

Olivia Wilde, Paul Scheer, Mary Steenbergen star in "Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" trailer for FunnyorDie.com. If only it were real...

Say What?
"Put your big girl pants on and move on." -- Newly single Jennifer Love Hewitt's advice for getting over a breakup.

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney  | March 24, 2010; 7:26 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

Kelly Osbourne fractures elbow in dog fight, but, she says, "you should see the other dog."


Prediction: by the time Sandy's lawyers are done with him, owing $3K in back taxes is going to be the best part of Jesse James' day.


Hugo Boss? In OHIO? I live less than a mile from the Ohio border and I would have believed that there were sweat pants and Git-R-Done t-shirt makers there, but never in a million years would have thought Boss.


"Accused Audrina Patridge stalker ordered to undergo mental evaluation." Sometimes it's like tee-ball around here.


Dennis Hopper, did you want to take the art with you?


"Pam Anderson mistook "DWTS" co-star Kate Gosselin for Octomom..." Well, if you've seen one clown car vagina...


"Scrubs" won't truly end until someone puts a stake through its heart. Thing's got more lives than a roomful of cats.


"Have another glass of wine and tell me about it." -- byoolin's advice to newly single Jennifer Love Hewitt for getting over a breakup.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2010 8:58 AM | Report abuse

Pam Anderson mistook "DWTS" co-star Kate Gosselin for Octomom...

-----------------------------
The above phrase made me choke on my morning beverage!! You go Pam!!

Posted by: wadejg | March 24, 2010 8:58 AM | Report abuse

"Sri Lanka Tuesday said it had refused US rap star Akon entry to the island following protests that a music video he produced was offensive to Buddhists."

I guess Tiger can scrap going to the Sri Lanka Invitational this year.

"Lindsay Lohan to design handbags for Ed Hardy."

Because designing for Ed Hardy did such great things for Jon Gosselin's career. And the world needs handbags with secret pockets for hooch.

"Pam Anderson mistook "DWTS" co-star Kate Gosselin for Octomom..."

That's not nearly as bad as when Buzz Aldrin mistook Pam Anderson for Mae West.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 24, 2010 9:02 AM | Report abuse

That's not nearly as bad as when Buzz Aldrin mistook Pam Anderson for Mae West.

Posted by: mdreader01

****

Things started to go badly when Col. Aldrin attempted to plant the flag, ifyouknowwhatImean.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2010 9:08 AM | Report abuse

Mr. Hardy, did you see LiLo's Ungaro collection? You better have your lawyers going over that contract for an out immediately.

I never thought I would like anything Pam Anderson did. Guess I should learn to never say never.

Now, Kelly that poor doggie was just minding his own business. Why couldn't you leave him alone?

Suge Knight wanted in connection with beating and robbery should be under Not News.

Posted by: epjd | March 24, 2010 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Jennifer Love Hewitt, are "big girl pants" fat jeans or mom jeans? Because there is a difference, you know.

"Hangover 2" in 3-D? No, thanks, that's what Sundays are for.

Is it really a mistake to call Kate Gosselin Octomom? She does have 8 kids...

Don't worry about the Ed Hardy line. I doubt even LiLo could come up with anything uglier than what they already put out, and people seem to buy it.

I thought it was called a cat fight when two girls got into it - is that headline a comment on Kelly's looks?

Posted by: northgs | March 24, 2010 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Danny Glover tries to block shutdown of Ohio Hugo Boss plant... Isn't he getting too old for that sh!t?


Accused Audrina Patridge stalker ordered to undergo mental evaluation... Well, duh. Hey Sas, let us know how the eval goes.


Jamie Foxx penning script for "Laverne and Shirley" remake?... No, no, no! Somewhere Gary Marshall is rolling over in his grave. What's that? He's not? Oh, awkward....


Hey Jennifer Love Hewitt, you can move your girl girl pants a little closer to me.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | March 24, 2010 9:43 AM | Report abuse

OMG, I would SO go and see Weird: The Al Yankovic story!! Make it happen!

Posted by: fft5305 | March 24, 2010 10:26 AM | Report abuse

My extensive research shows that Ed Hardy is obviously no relation to Andy Hardy. Or the Hardy Boys, for that matter.

I am surprised Kelly didn't join Dr. Phil as patient. But she did rock DWTS last year.

"Jesse James owes California more than $3K in back taxes... " Not to mention all the trains he robbed out there.

Carmen, we are not sorry. And in that same universe, Pam we all make that mistake. Kate is only slightly less annoying.

I see how Akon could confuse Bhuddism and Hinduism. Altho I understand Hindu theology has done some refocusing since the Kama Sutra.

The Aussies are lucky Lady Gaga actually WORE underwear.

Having completely run out of new ideas, Hollywood is planning to remake the entire film library in 3-D, starting with Jamie Foxx's "Laverne and Shirley." Wait, that's not a remake.

It's obvious that "Kick-Ass" is a waaaay better name for a rock band than for a movie. After all, Jim Varney is dead.

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 24, 2010 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Kelly got in a fight with a pomeranian and fractured her elbow? That is one tough pomeranian.

Apparently Jesse's support of the local "art" scene can't be considered a tax write-off.

Hugo Boss? In OHIO? I live less than a mile from the Ohio border and I would have believed that there were sweat pants and Git-R-Done t-shirt makers there, but never in a million years would have thought Boss.

byoolin, is that not the pot calling the kettle black??

Tiger, take note of Jesse's dilemma.

So, will Jamie cast himself as Lenny or Squiggy? He certainly is NOT the big Ragoo.

Hangover 2 in 3D. You will not only see Hangover but feel hungover after viewing. Have your barfbags ready.

Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2010 10:40 AM | Report abuse

So, will Jamie cast himself as Lenny or Squiggy?Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2010 10:40 AM

Oh, Lenny, obviously. Martin Lawrence is so Squiggy.

Posted by: VaLGaL | March 24, 2010 11:01 AM | Report abuse


Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel as Laverne and Shirley? Shirley you jest, Jamie. But I got a great idea for the plot line. In the remake, Laverne and Shirley work for a large pharmaceutical company, A. Lye Willy, who pays them minimum wage with no health care benefits. Laverne and Shirley pair up with Javier Bardem to heist $75 million of Willy's best psychopharmaceuticals from a warehouse and fence them to Dennis Hopper and Jesse James, who launder the drugs through art auctions and custom motorcycle sales. Tiger Woods buys some of the drugs on the black market to help him fight his sex addiction. Jenifer Love Hewitt also procures some of the drugs to help Dorkus overcome the depression brought on by Carmen Electra's professed regret at getting DD implants. Danny Glover passes a truckload of the drugs to the sacked Hugo Boss workers, who market the drugs on eBay, and use the profits to buy Ed Hardy handbags designed by LiLo. The majority of the drugs marketed on eBay are sold to residents of New Zealand, who are devastated by RedDragon's Aussie slur. Elisabeth with an S Hasselbeck finds out about these dealings, and launches into a tirade on The View. Unfortunately for Elisabeth with an S, Suge with a Smith & Wesson Knight doesn't take kindly to her tirade. Meanwhile, Kelly Osbourne asks Doctor Phil and Oprah if they can differentiate Kelly's *ss from her elbow. Doctor Phil replies, "Why do you ask, two dogs?"

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 24, 2010 11:08 AM | Report abuse

...to which Kelly replies, "Yo, carm down, fatty."


Also, let's hope LiLo's designing purses with airbags - she could use 'em. http://gawker.com/5500915/just-another-tuesday-night

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2010 12:27 PM | Report abuse

sas - you are stunning. I am in awe. Especially as a non-'Lost'-er, I leave the latest Celebritology posting (on Lost), returning here to find snark solace, and ohmygod I'm in heaven. Thank you thank you thank you.

Posted by: agog1 | March 24, 2010 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Big girl pants? Is that a euphemism for going, um, bare & having rhinestones glued on?

I just used up 4 minutes thinking of all the better things I can do in 4 minutes.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 24, 2010 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Why does "The View" still exist? And why does Elisabeth Hasselback still do it?

Because every time I see a clip, it follows the same irritating formula:

* Whoopi says something judgmental, condescending, and liberal
* Joy says lots of somethings half-baked, shrill, and liberal
* Sherry (? is that her name?) looks as though her (also-liberal) brain cells just can't keep up with her colleagues' frantic tirades and she's thinking she's smart damnit, if only someone would give her the time of day without barreling over her

On the other side of the table:

* Elisabeth says something half-baked and (oh look, here's a) conversative and has to keep saying "let me FINISH" every other phrase because the other three shrews are shouting her down and try as she might, 3:1 are bad odds for Miss E.

And in the middle:

* Baba Wawa looks tired and barely propped up in her chair because she's too busy trying to follow things too and giving up blithely 'cause all she can do is think to herself, "I used to be a news anchor who had affairs with world leaders."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | March 24, 2010 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Big girl pants? Is that a euphemism for going, um, bare & having rhinestones glued on?

Californian, you may be right but I thought it meant her ex had a diaper fetish.

Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2010 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Big girl pants? Is that a euphemism for going, um, bare & having rhinestones glued on?

Californian, you may be right but I thought it meant her ex had a diaper fetish.

Posted by: hodie | March 24, 2010 1:43 PM
_________________________________________

She used to date Jamie Kennedy, right? 'Nuff said.

Posted by: MStreet1 | March 24, 2010 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Looking at those Angelina teenage model photos, I think she has had a nose job. Her nose in those photos is a MUCH better fit for her face; it balanced out the ginormous lips. Nowadays her nose looks much too small for her face, and the lips kind of overwhelm everything else. But maybe that was the goal.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 24, 2010 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Memo to all the guys here:

First, follow the link to the Claudia Schiffer story.

Second, look at the picture. See her husband.

Third, say to yourself, "David Copperfield and now THIS GUY?"

Fourth, strike the phrase, "She's out of my league" from your vocabulary.

Fifth, stop mumbling "David Copperfield and now THIS GUY?" to yourself in public places. It makes you look crazy.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 24, 2010 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, byoolin, that was my first thought when I saw the husband too.

Same w/ Cate Blanchett's husband.

Proves there is no such thing as "out of my league".

Posted by: Californian11 | March 24, 2010 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Striking "She's out of my league" from his vocabulary sure worked for Ric Ocasek.

Byoo' will that Hugo Boss factory be having a Going Out of Business sale?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 24, 2010 2:19 PM | Report abuse

RIP Robert Culp (of "I Spy" fame).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 24, 2010 6:04 PM | Report abuse

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