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Posted at 8:34 AM ET, 04/ 2/2010

Anna Paquin comes out as bisexual; Charlie Sheen leaving "Two and a Half Men"?

By Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly

Celebrity Beat: "True Blood's" Anna Paquin comes out as bisexual... Chelsea Handler vs. Michelle "Bombshell" McGee... Sally Jenkins on Tiger Woods's image rehab -- not so fast... Woods's kindergarten teacher set to give Gloria Allred-enabled press conference... As part of Thai safe sex campaign, Bangkok restaurant covers Tiger in condoms... Heather Mills explains why she denied her former nanny the funds for a boob job... Miley Cyrus says her new album will have a Lady Gaga-esque techno vibe... Aging diva Joan Collins calls Twitter the "most banal and boring pastime ever invented" (guess she hasn't come across Foursquare yet)... Aussies blast Robin Williams for calling them "English rednecks"... Three workers injured as stage set for Elton John concert at Mexican ruins collapses... Madonna and Ellen DeGeneres are apparently distant cousins... John Malkovich's lawyers file $2.2 million claim in Bernie Madoff case... Jon Lovitz photobomb!.

In case you missed it, tween sensation Justin Bieber took over for April Fool's Day...

Crime Watch: Michael Jackson doc Conrad Murray files motion to keep medical license... Jesse James cited for roughing up paparazzo's car.

Rumor Mill: Is Lindsay Lohan broke?... Rachel Uchitel paid $10 million to keep quiet about Tiger Woods affair?... "Dancing with the Stars" reject Shannen Doherty owes $44K in back taxes... Taylor Swift playing the field with Cory Monteith and Taylor Lautner... Renowned British mess Pete Doherty spits beer on reporter during live interview.

Pop Culture Mix: Sources say Charlie Sheen is leaving "Two and a Half Men" (though claims a deal is in the works); unclear if Sheen's exit would prompt sitcom's title to be changed to "One and a Half Men"... In other departure news, S. Epatha Merkerson leaves "Law and Order"... ScarJo "Iron Man 2" promo posters released (you're welcome, guys)... Hank Stuever reviews Sarah Palin's "Real American Stories": "innocuous, flat and political in only the most coded of ways." plays an April Fool's joke, announces that Will Smith is starring in a "Citizen Kane" remake... Sandra Bullock's "Blind Side" tops DVD sales list... Oh, and did we mention "The Blind Sayid"?... Doug Liman to direct "The Three Musketeers"?... Sebastian Stan to star as Bucky Barnes in "Captain America" movie... A trailer for "Pac-Man: The Movie" that reminds me of both "Saw" and "Tron." Oh, also? It isn't real... Forecasters expect "Clash of the Titans" to earn $60 to $70 million this weekend... Gamer remakes "Dark Side of the Moon" in 8-bit...

Speaking of "Titans," the kraken has been released: The Post gives "Clash of the Titans" a weak review, and Rotten Tomatoes is trending toward the splat side.

A new trailer for "The A-Team":

And one for Angelina Jolie's "Salt":

Say What?
"In case u ever want to hack Ryan, his password is 'thirdnipple'." -- Joel McHale, after hacking into Ryan Seacrest's Twitter account as part of an April Fool's prank.

By Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly  | April 2, 2010; 8:34 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Best of the pop culturally literate Peeps
Next: TGIF: Bai Ling gets gun crazy


Chelsea Handler vs. Michelle "Bombshell" McGee: my money would be on the Aryan chic, but my hope would be on the collapse of the arena on top of them.

Miley Cyrus's new album will have a Lady Gaga-esque techno vibe and a Billy Ray-esque fetid stench.

Of course Joan Collins would think Twitter boring: *everything* would be boring once you've wrestled Linda Evans in a swimming pool.

The Bad News is, Charlie Sheen is leaving "Two and a Half Men." The Good News is, each episode will still contain Two and a Half Laughs."* (*Selected episodes only.)

In a Hollywood that is turning the board game "Battleship" into a movie, Will Smith in a "Citizen Kane" remake isn't an April Fool's joke, it's our last best hope for redemption.

Wasn't 'thirdnipple' what everyone called Brian Dunkelman when he co-hosted the first season of AI with Ryan Seacrest?

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2010 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Tiger and his kindergarten teacher? The dude started early I see. Did he write her a note in crayon saying wanted to wear her a$$ as a hat?

What is a Sebastian Stan?

Robin, everyone knows the Australians aren't British rednecks. You were thinking about the New Zealanders (or possibly the french canadians).

ScarJo posters? Ahh Liz, it's not even my birthday. (But it is coming up so you should be thinking about what to get me).

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | April 2, 2010 10:10 AM | Report abuse

Does Conrad Murray really think that anyone would actually want him for their doctor?

Posted by: JLRGG | April 2, 2010 10:13 AM | Report abuse

No... French Canadians are French Rednecks.

Posted by: DCLocal20 | April 2, 2010 10:20 AM | Report abuse

"innocuous, flat and political in only the most coded of ways."

Sounds like a review of Palin, herself, never mind the show.

Posted by: kvs71 | April 2, 2010 10:23 AM | Report abuse

God knows I'm no fan of Heather Mills, but really? She has to justify NOT giving someone money for a boob job? I'm never going to understand the British legal system.

Ahhh, Jon Lovitz. I love the subtle eyeroll. Formally requesting that someone Photoshop the devil suit from the "Church Lady" skits onto him.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 2, 2010 10:27 AM | Report abuse

There's so much easy pickin's today! But I don't have the energy, so I'll just send my Friday love to those poor Charlie Sheen offspring. God knows they'll need it.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 2, 2010 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Who would interview Pete Doherty? What does he possibly have to say that could be of interest, and the guy is known for shooting up then shooting the syringe contents at reporters. Beer's tame compared to that.

When oh when will Gloria Allred and Sarah Palin's 15 min. be up.

How could LiLo NOT be broke, is my question.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 2, 2010 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Who would interview Pete Doherty? What does he possibly have to say that could be of interest, and the guy is known for shooting up then shooting the syringe contents at reporters.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 2, 2010 12:16 PM

Good Lord! As noted above, the British justice system is not straightforward, but in most jurisdictions in America, that's felony assault, even against reporters. You might be able to talk it down to a misdemeanor if you can prove that you don't have anything contagious, but somehow I doubt Pete Doherty's in that group.

Posted by: northgs | April 2, 2010 12:33 PM | Report abuse

RIP, John Forsythe. Besides his most famous roles, did anyone else adore him as the Reagan-esque Senator Powers in "The Powers That Be"?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2010 3:08 PM | Report abuse

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