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Posted at 7:59 AM ET, 04/15/2010

Melissa and Tammy Etheridge split; Gosselin kids 'damaged,' says uncle

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney

A crutch-toting Susan Sarandon arrives at Thursday's New York premiere of the new HBO movie 'You Don't Know Jack.' (Reuters)

Celebrity Beat: Melissa and Tammy Etheridge split after nine years together... Ellen DeGeneres tops Out magazine's list of 50 most influential gays... Gosselin children are "psychologically damaged," says Kate Gosselin's brother... Oprah's Octo-mom interview to air next week... Kathy Griffin plans to tape poolside pap smear... Filming of Steven Seagal's reality show suspended... 50 Cent removing his tattoos to help his budding acting career... "Jersey Shore" girls get a makeover, etiquette lessons.

Crime Watch: Tiger Woods mistress Jaimee Grubbs arrested for outstanding warrant.

Rumor Mill: Larry King's sister-in-law denies causing break-up... Elin Nordegren meets with divorce attorney... Angelina Jolie not pregnant, source tells Lindsay Lohan bails on deposition, goes shopping instead... Kate Hudson underwent breast augmentation in March... Madonna's daughter to attend "Fame" school?

Pop Culture Mix: 63rd Cannes Film Festival lineup announced... Martin Scorsese to shoot "Invention of Hugo Cabret" in 3D... Photos from a "bizarrely metrosexual" Shrek photo shoot (Yeah, you heard me)... Looks like the "Sarah Silverman Program" is history... Zac Efron to star as money launderer in "Snabba cash"... "Iron Man 2" Easter egg confirmed... Scarlett Johansson and Sam Rockwell star in "lost" Stanley Kubrick film... "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone pen Broadway musical about, umm, Mormons... Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the new Claire Littleton bobblehead, complete with freaky squirrel baby.

Video: Nicolas Cage goes up against Adam West in a game of "Batman" trivia on "The Tonight Show" (via EW)

Chat Day! Join us at 2 p.m. ET for this week's Celebritology Live discussion.

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney  | April 15, 2010; 7:59 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  | Tags:  Angelina Jolie, Cannes Film Festival, Lindsay Lohan  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Splitsville: Larry King files for divorce; Mel Gibson and girlfriend reportedly split
Next: No longer in the dark re: celebrity sunglass trends


So, the day after Scarecrow & Mrs. King split, Melissa Etheridge is suddenly on the market? That's a bit of a coincidence, don't you think?

"Kathy Griffin plans to tape poolside pap smear." [Insert your favourite "This is going to be worse than that time..." clip from an episode of Family Guy.]

'"Jersey Shore" girls get a makeover, etiquette lessons.' Now THAT's what I call putting lipstick on a pig.

Kate Hudson's autobiography, "From A-Rod To D-Cup" will be out in July.

The Claire bobblehead (complete with freaky squirrel baby) is still less unnerving than the idea of someone trying to make a Kubrick film (not that "AI" wasn't a *cough* brilliant piece of work, Steven Spielberg).

Whatever you do, Nicolas Cage, don't bet against Adam West - you can't afford to lose another house.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 15, 2010 8:22 AM | Report abuse

This may not mean much to many here, but RIP Pete Steele. Hope your next life is better.

Posted by: wadejg | April 15, 2010 8:47 AM | Report abuse

Jersey Girls go to Charm School. All I can think of is that famous advice given to Marla Hooch in "A League of Their Own" -- Night games.

Of course the Gosselin children are psychologically damaged. With Jon and Kate off sucking up the limelight, did you think the kids were being raised to be well-adjusted. Way to step up to the plate and show you are different though brother.

I wish I could have gone shopping rather than spend SIX HOURs in court trying to get an agreed continuance on the record yesterday.

Posted by: epjd | April 15, 2010 8:49 AM | Report abuse

And the "No Sh!t, Sherlock" award goes to Kate Gosselin's brother! I'm sure only an insider could have figured out that those kids are damaged.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 15, 2010 9:20 AM | Report abuse

POOLSIDE PAP SMEAR? WHAT???????? I read that four times to be sure I wasn't seeing things then started throwing up, even before the sploooot from laughing at the absurdity. "Pool" and cr@tch shots don't belong in the same thought, much less the same sentence. Not to mention FILMING POOLSIDE PAP SMEAR.
Perhaps byoo will provide Ms Griffin a poem for the occasion.
This is a perfect example of why I am and continue to be .... agog.

Posted by: agog1 | April 15, 2010 9:22 AM | Report abuse

I didn't see yesterday's news until now, but I want to give a hearty "Brava!" to Mel Gibson's baby mama. Girlfriend clearly paid attention at L'Academie de Gold-digging. Put up with the old goat for a year or two, pop out a kid, and ka-ching! Set for life.

Posted by: jaybbub | April 15, 2010 9:23 AM | Report abuse

""Pool" and cr@tch shots don't belong in the same thought, much less the same sentence." - agog

"Cr@tch shots" are WHY I go to the pool.

That said, this is for you, Gogs.

Pap Smear By The Pool (with apologies to Mark Knopfler)

She called up her doc and she said,
"I'm gonna take a film crew to Westwood,
I'm doing a thing for Bravo
and I want you to be my gyno."

Yeah, you're gonna be dazzled
Yeah, I'm gonna be vajazzled

and a pap smear by the pool,
pap smear by the -
by the pool.
Pap smear by the pool.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 15, 2010 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Agog, just to modify your comment slightly, *Kathy Griffin* and crotch shots don't belong in the same thought. It's enough to scare the most die-hard lesbian straight... maybe Tammy Etheridge heard the news early?

The whole Larry King thing is more ick nast than I can handle over breakfast. Way worse than Kathy Griffin, that.

"Jersey Shore" girls given makeovers, etiquette lessons. First lesson: How To Talk Through Your Mouth, Not Your Nose.

There *was* a "Sarah Silverman Program"?

Something tells me the Mormon musical isn't going to play too well in Provo...

Posted by: northgs | April 15, 2010 9:46 AM | Report abuse

Cheers to byoolin! Could we start our own Celebritology poetry blog?

Someone please enlighten me on what a Claire Littleton is and the squirrel baby? thnx

Posted by: kvs09 | April 15, 2010 9:49 AM | Report abuse

Thank you thank you byoo, you have made my day, previously ruined, now restored :-).

Posted by: agog1 | April 15, 2010 9:54 AM | Report abuse

And yes, byoo, immediately after my statement re cr@otch shots and the pool, that response occurred to me. "Medical procedures/exams involving bodily fluids" and "pool" don't go together in the same thought, nor sentence...

Posted by: agog1 | April 15, 2010 9:58 AM | Report abuse

So is that photo of Susan Sarandon also a cr@tch shot?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 15, 2010 10:27 AM | Report abuse

As soon as I saw the Jersey Girls make-up story, I knew that a "lipstick on a pig," comment was inevitable.

I think the the reason Comedy Central is cancelling the Sarah Silverman shop is that Kathy Griffin beat Sarah to the idea of having a pap smear televised from poolside. Remember when "pap" was defined as material lacking in substance? (This was after it was defined as food produced from a nipple.) Well, it seems like Kathy Griffin is giving "pap" a new meaning.

In other crochety news, Larry King files for divorce. Liz Taylor says she'll wait for Larry. Now there's an image to spoil your mid-morning coffee.

From crochety to crutchety: Susan Sarandon's ta-tas still look great.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 15, 2010 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Hey, byoolin, was that you making all those snarky, I mean clever, Canadian comments over on Tracee Hamilton's Stanley Cup chat this AM?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 15, 2010 10:50 AM | Report abuse

I'm no poet, but I can help out on the Claire Littleton thing. She'a a character on LOST who went nutso after her baby was stolen, and she then constructed a replacement out of what appeared to be a squirrel carcass.

Posted by: justmike | April 15, 2010 11:07 AM | Report abuse

You know what really sux? When you send out a comment with a typo in it and it's too late to fix it and it just sits there and everyone thinks you're an idiot.

Posted by: justmike | April 15, 2010 11:19 AM | Report abuse

I am about to flame out y'all's good opinion of me but after JustMike's explanation, I am glad I stopped watching LOST after the first episode... seriously.

quel sacrilege!

Posted by: LTL1 | April 15, 2010 11:22 AM | Report abuse

LTL, you are in good company. I am grateful I never even watched one episode of that insane show.

Posted by: epjd | April 15, 2010 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Dont'worry, you're not alone here, LTL. I tried to watch the première episode of Lost, but never got into it. Mr. P remained a Lostie for a couple seasons, then gave up as well. Maybe Claire is Lost's answer to Twin Peaks' Log Lady?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 15, 2010 11:39 AM | Report abuse

You antiLostites do realize that this is Liz and Jen's site, and they are the queens of Lost obsession, right?

Posted by: justmike | April 15, 2010 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Thanks, jaybub for invoking one of my favorite phrases (no sh!t Sherlock) for the Gosselin brother. It's also a "Duh, ya think?"

I wonder if the physician can use a modifier CPT code for vajazzing the patient during a pap exam and get paid for it? Mmmmmm? Would the poolside location be considered a home visit?

Heard JWow gets thrown out of Charm school when she keeps raising the wrong finger when she sips her tea.

Angelina is denying pregancy. Yeah. So she is due in Sept/Oct, right?

Posted by: hodie2 | April 15, 2010 11:43 AM | Report abuse

justmike, as long as we don't go over to the ladies' Lost chats and whine about the show, I think we're OK.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 15, 2010 11:47 AM | Report abuse

What is Kate H. planning to accomplish w/ fake boobs? It's not like having a small chest has held her back with the boys. Sad that one of the last remaining female celebs WITHOUT implants has been assimilated by the borg.

Kathy Griffin is just gross. There are more polite ways to emphasize the importance of pap smears.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 15, 2010 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Vaguely related: One of my coworkers came by yesterday, looking eager, and asked, "Do you watch 'Lost'?"
"No, afraid not."
"I know, I'm surprised too." I ended up referring her to the chat.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 15, 2010 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I think you guys are misunderstanding about Kathy Griffin - she's the smear. Pap to be supplied by someone else.

Posted by: MStreet1 | April 15, 2010 12:03 PM | Report abuse

The problem for Kathy Griffin and Sarah Silverman is that in order to stay viable they need to keep pushing the envelope, to the point where it gets pushed so out of shape that they leave most of their audience behind.

Posted by: justmike | April 15, 2010 12:12 PM | Report abuse

I've never watched either of those two women, but there are plenty of talented comedians out there who are just plain funny and don't push the envelope in order to think they are relevant. Why don't Sarah and Kathy just try being, you know, funny.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 15, 2010 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Liz, Jen and the other Lost Lizards are well aware of my anti-Lost feelings. I am so grateful the show is almost over so my Celebritology does not get takne over with Lost posts anymore.

Posted by: epjd | April 15, 2010 12:16 PM | Report abuse

The world is a warmer place knowing there are so many other FOUNDs out there... Knowing I have your support I feel... well... less LOST.

sorry justmike I'll stop now!

On to Kathy G. I found her hysterical on that marriage ref show the other day. Tracy Morgan (almost typed Jordan) and Nathan Lane too... She's very quick on her feet, left those two kind of trailing in her wake. I also like that her humor is a lot of self deprecation - it is easy to be funny at someone else's expense.

Not that I watch her all that often.

Posted by: LTL1 | April 15, 2010 12:39 PM | Report abuse

No need to apologize to me about being anti-Lost. I say live and let live (except for any 'reality' show fan that is). I was only pointing out that it might be a little dangerous to be too blatantly anti-Lost on a chat run by two of the Prime Losties in the Universe, not that they would necessarily do any physical harm to anyone...

Posted by: justmike | April 15, 2010 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Addendum: the IM2 Easter egg makes me a very happy comics nerd, and I want to thank you both for reporting it. OM NOM NOM NOM.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 15, 2010 1:04 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, that wasn't me in Tracee Hamilton's chat this morning. I kind of wish it had been me in the chat about flights in Europe being cancelled because of airborne ash from the volcano in Iceland, though:

Oakton, Va.: I'm driving from Washington DC to New York on Sunday. Will I be affected?

Christopher Elliott: No. The volcano is in Iceland, and it's only affecting flights in the UK and northern Europe, for now.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 15, 2010 2:05 PM | Report abuse

A wedded bliss clearly abating
Has Larry King free to go dating;
Now the moment arrives
Where his number of wives
Is higher than CNN's rating.

News Short n' Sweet by JFD8

Posted by: jd121 | April 15, 2010 2:05 PM | Report abuse

love, love, love the poem posted by jd121. classic.
1. have never watched lost and never well. that said, i have a serious character flaw because i love judge judy and cops. there. i said it.
2. kate hudson gets on my nerves. but it still made me sad she got implants. her body structure was great the way it was. maybe arod whispered something foolish in her ear and she listened to the box of rocks.
3. is lindsey lohan still alive?
4. justmike, i do find kathy griffin funny. can't help it. i love her take on things. is the pap smear deal weird? yes. i'd give her more credit if it wasn't poolside. a pina colada with my speculum, please.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 15, 2010 3:05 PM | Report abuse

p.s. forget about the gosselin kids being damaged. what about us? the poor, unsuspecting folks in the hinterlands upon whom these two fools have been sprung. HELP!

Posted by: frieda406 | April 15, 2010 3:07 PM | Report abuse

p.s. forget about the gosselin kids being damaged. what about us? the poor, unsuspecting folks in the hinterlands upon whom these two fools have been sprung. HELP!

Posted by: frieda406 | April 15, 2010 3:07 PM | Report abuse

frieda, don't worry about Kate Hudson's new shoes just yet. It is only in the rumor mill and may not be true.

On Larry King's alleged affair w/lil'sis of wife #7, can I just say "Eeeeeewwwwww".

As a doc, a big pet peeve of mine is people who carry around crutches and do not use them correctly. Susan Sarandon I'm looking at you. Even though I cannot see your feet, I can tell you are not using the crutches to support your weight and are standing on your feet. If you truly need them, you are going to prolong your recovery. If you are just looking for attention, forget I said anything.

And I will admit I am a LOSTie and a Gleek. Double whammy. First step to recovery is admitting one has a problem.

Posted by: hodie2 | April 15, 2010 3:39 PM | Report abuse

hodie, don't feel alone here, because I'm a Gleek too. However, it's not conducive to Liz and Jen blogging each epi, since basically the plot is Sue as Wile E. Coyote, with Will and his glee club as... meep! meep!

Frieda, good to hear from you again. Hugs to Frankie the hospice dog.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 15, 2010 4:07 PM | Report abuse

thank you, nosy. i've been lurking but not writing. felt motivated today :) have been blurbing away on our local paper, due to all the nutty, wackadoodle things going on in arizona. frankie is well and happy. we're headed to hospice tomorrow. she just got her delta society certification renewed. she rec'd top scores on 19 out of 20 categories and a good on the 20th. i forgot to work w/her about leaving a toy alone. my bad. she rec'd their highest rating - complex - meaning she can go anywhere and do anything. i actually shed a little tear. felt like she'd been admitted to harvard. frankie the wonder dog.

Posted by: frieda406 | April 15, 2010 4:58 PM | Report abuse

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