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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 04/ 2/2010

Tiger Woods tops Unsexiest Men of 2010 list

By Liz Kelly

Not sexy: Mea culpa press conferences. (AP)

Apparently cheating on one's wife with up to 15 different women and and the lingering scent of desperation aren't huge turn ons. Or so the Boston Phoenix posits in its annual list of unsexiest men which has Tiger Woods firmly ensconced in the no. 1 position on this year's list of 100 "goofballs, bozos, creeps, and douchebags whose general unattractiveness got our unsexy senses tingling."

Fabulous.

There's plenty of the expected here: CNN "Situation Room"-er Wolf Blitzer (85), deadbeat dad Michael Lohan (76), erstwhile Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange (31).

But also some surprises. F'rinstance, Robert Pattinson, he of the floppy hair and brooding eyes came in at 74 on the list. Really? I can produce an army of tween Twi-hards that begs to differ. And, at 100, Justin Bieber. I mean, I'm no fan, but it feels somehow wrong to be evaluating a 16-year-old's relative sex appeal. And what's with the inclusion of Olympic snowboarder Shaun White (88). Sure he may look like Carrot Top on ice, but the guy has some serious personality.

Also, a pair of miscarriages of justice: Both Ed Hardy-sporting publicity hound Jon Gosselin (53) and "Real Housewives of New York" hanger-on Simon Van Kempen (36)-- who is in fact the opposite of sex -- should have made the top 10.

Who did? The list:

1. Tiger Woods
2. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino
3. John Edwards
4. Kevin Smith
5. John Mayer
6. Jesse James
7. Glenn Beck
8. Jay Leno
9. Mark Sanford
10. The Pope

Who would you have included/excluded? Weigh in below...

By Liz Kelly  | April 2, 2010; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Comments

Just what criteria are they using to come up with the list? Obviously men who cheat on their wives/gfs have made the list, but I'm not sure about some of the rest.

Posted by: changling | April 2, 2010 11:02 AM | Report abuse

How did Justin Bieber make the list? Dude. He's SIXTEEN? I thought he was 11...

Perhaps they are judging Twi-Robert on his Edward Cullen character - that dude's a glassbowl.

Posted by: JenEFur | April 2, 2010 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Wait a minute! I thought it was Letterman who was a cheater, not Leno.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2010 11:27 AM | Report abuse

The Republican politicians didn't get the Tiger Woods treatment from the media. John McCain anyone? Not to mention those sick "Catholic Priest". I guess it was the DEVIL in them that made them do it.hahahaha!!!lol f@gg@t @$$ priest should have been getting pu$$y with Tiger like normal people do. If you would’ve chased those "Catholic Priest" out of the country like you did Michael Jackson you might be able to send your boys to church without a chasady belt!!!! “Son is that Holy Water on your shirt”. Not exactly Dad!!!!!!hahahalol TIGER IS A BETTER ROLE MODEL THAN “THE POPE” OR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. ONE PRIEST MOLESTED 200 BOYS!!!!!! GOD DAMN!!!!!

Posted by: gokusc1 | April 2, 2010 11:33 AM | Report abuse

TIGER IS A BETTER ROLE MODEL THAN “THE POPE” OR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. ONE PRIEST MOLESTED 200 BOYS!!!!!! GOD DAMN!!!!!

Posted by: gokusc1 | April 2, 2010 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Posting a story about the Pope's appearance on an "unsexy list" on Good Friday?! I think I'm offended. (And you know, he does have an actual name; he's not solely known as "The Pope" anymore than Obama is only "The President.")

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 2, 2010 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Spenser the Pratt gets my vote...

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 11:43 AM | Report abuse

PS can we get rid of those two posts please...

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 11:52 AM | Report abuse

I don't know, I though John Paul II was pretty cute.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 2, 2010 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Committee moves that pursuant to suggestion from Honourable Member td, name #10 on least-sexy list be hereby amended to "Joey Ratzinger, a.k.a. Benny Ratzinger, a.k.a. His Holiness Darth Maul." All in favour, say aye.


Committee moves that pursuant to commentary from local troll gokusc1, all nominees for least-sexy list be issued one (1) each "chasady belt," with instructions for use and correct spelling thereof. All in favour, say aye.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2010 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Trivia: Kevin Smith is the only member of the Top Ten to have joined The Mile-High Club while flying as cargo.

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2010 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Howard Stern should definitely be in the top 10 ... and I would say Rush Limbaugh, although why give him any more free publicity.

Posted by: Californian11 | April 2, 2010 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Aye!

Aye!

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 2, 2010 12:15 PM | Report abuse

We are not amused.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | April 2, 2010 12:17 PM | Report abuse

I think I'd keep the list as-is, except for Justin Beiber - the kid's 16. Replace him with Spencer the Prat and move a bunch of people down, since Spence-boy def. belongs in the Top 50, at least. I would move The Situation, Silent Bob and His Holiness out of the Top 10, probably into the teens, the back of the plane (as it were), and somewhere mid-table respectively. (Apologies to all of our Catholic Lizards who might take offense, but the looks of the current Pope creep me out. He's like Gollum, with a really good tailor.) I would put the Underwear Bomber, Rod Blagojevich, and either Ben Roethlisberger or the Balloon Boy dad in the top ten in place of the other three.

Posted by: northgs | April 2, 2010 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Levi Johnston.

Posted by: angelas1 | April 2, 2010 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Even though Kevin Smith has been a whiny baby lately, I'd take him off the list or move him down to move Jon Gosselein up. Smith does have that "bear" appeal & the guy can still write pretty well.

What's the criteria? I mean I understand how a cheater like Tiger or James end up unsexy, but how does a 16 year old end up on that list?

Also, didn't know the Pope was in the "sexy" running.

ew

just

ew

Pass the mind bleach.

Posted by: wadejg | April 2, 2010 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Aye aye byoo -

although.... didn't the chasady belt legally change its name to Chaz?

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Also, didn't know the Pope was in the "sexy" running.

Posted by: wadejg

*****

That's creepier than his being on the "least sexy" list. But maybe there's a market for this stuff - straw poll: would anyone here buy a Hot Guys Of The Holy See 16-month calendar?

Posted by: byoolin1 | April 2, 2010 12:38 PM | Report abuse

For some reason I vaguely recall a "Hot Priests" calendar - Italian (we are a hot people after all)...

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 12:45 PM | Report abuse

A delayed AYE to Byoolin's motion.

I think that my name should be somewhere on the unsexiest list.

Interestingly, a Google search of the term "chasady belt" turns up 239 hits, of which Celebritology is -- of course -- Numero Uno.

It appears that our local troll gokusc1 calls himself joethePlumber on the NY Daily News comment boards.

Finally, a delayed THANK YOU to Liz for posting the Spiderman poster of ScarJo. She looks so fine as a redhead. Fits her name, too.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | April 2, 2010 1:02 PM | Report abuse

RUSH LIMBAUGH, what a disgusting creep!!

Posted by: rickahert | April 2, 2010 1:24 PM | Report abuse

For some reason I vaguely recall a "Hot Priests" calendar - Italian (we are a hot people after all)...

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 12:45 PM

There are a few out there, Italian and others. When I worked at a Catholic institution of higher learning, we used to refer to them generically as "Father What A Waste".

Posted by: northgs | April 2, 2010 1:36 PM | Report abuse

although.... didn't the chasady belt legally change its name to Chaz?

Posted by: LTL1 | April 2, 2010 12:32 PM |


SPLOOT!

Posted by: jes11 | April 2, 2010 1:40 PM | Report abuse

we used to refer to them generically as "Father What A Waste".

Posted by: northgs

PFAAAAAAAAAHHH!! That is excellent. I also recall that term from my days in Catholic school.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | April 2, 2010 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Ok, just woke up from my nap (I love days off). While I'm as lapsed a Catholic as the next guy, I'm not going to say anything about His Holiness on Good Friday.

But, I'll add to the commentary that those of us of Italian descent are hot.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | April 2, 2010 1:56 PM | Report abuse

I'm sure Pope Ratzo is very attractive to the vast legions of homosexual priests.

Ratzo likely finds any 16 year old kid attractive.

Posted by: kenk3 | April 2, 2010 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Oooh, another BKD!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2010 2:34 PM | Report abuse

This list is disgusting. Shaun White? He seems very appealing to me, and I'm sure the guy has no trouble taking care of his needs. I guess they're trying to hurt people's feelings for no good reason. They probably listed Mother Theresa on the women's list when she was alive. Again, disgusting!

Posted by: forgetthis | April 2, 2010 2:49 PM | Report abuse

forgetthis, do you not recall "Mommie Dearest: The pope beatifies Mother Teresa, a fanatic, a fundamentalist, and a fraud" by Christopher Hitchens?
http://www.slate.com/id/2090083

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | April 2, 2010 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Glad to see the Situation on this list. He needs to walk around with an L tattooed to his forehead.

Posted by: cougartonyusa | April 2, 2010 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Who cares about Tiger Woods? He should join Amway, they also screw anything that moves, and have ripped off millions of people for several decades, to the tune of 10s of billions of dollars:

Amway is a scam, and here's why: Amway pays out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam.

As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. This was made illegal in the UK in 2008, but our FTC is unable to pull their heads out of their butts to stop it here.

Read about it on this website: http://thenetprofitgroup.yolasite.com and forward the information to everyone you know, so they don't get scammed.

Posted by: texansay | April 2, 2010 9:11 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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