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Posted at 7:12 AM ET, 05/26/2010

Jesse James: 'I lied to everyone.' Viewing public: 'Snore.'

By Liz Kelly

I'm guessing that, unlike me, Sandra Bullock did not stay up to watch Jesse James in his first interview on last night's "Nightline." That's because, also unlike me, Bullock is married (for now) to the guy and the reason he was granted said interview was so he could explain how he done her wrong. Way wrong.

And really, who needs to watch their ex prostrate himself in the court of public opinion on national TV? Especially since most of the juicy bits -- in which James explained how it was he came to cheat on Bullock with a series of busty tattooed babes -- were already posted online and shown on Tuesday's "Good Morning America?"

Oh, and lest you confuse "Nightline" with a program of the same name over which Ted Koppel once soberly presided with a daily diet of hard-hitting news, this ain't that show. This is the show that on Monday "interviewed" the Kardashian sisters about Botox and other things of absolutely zero interest. Still, "Nightline" and clearly hostile interviewer Vicki Mabrey were probably as close as James and his mea culpa could get to a somewhat respectable news outlet, though he likely had his pick of tabloid venues.

So just what did James have to say for himself?

On why he cheated:

"I knew it was horrible," said James in his Southern California surfer dude cadence. "I knew I would get caught. It was me trying to self-sabotage my life."

And: "I'm doing it because I never felt good enough for anyone."

And: "I may seem like a monster ... but that's not what it was about. I was trying to push someone away who I thought was going to leave anyway."

James also accused his father of emotional and physical abuse (his father denies the allegations) which, James posits, led to his feelings of inadequacy and, we're left to assume, his taste for tattoo models. And it turns out that the clip we've seen over the past few days of a visibly shaken James asking for a break as he holds back tears came at this moment in the interview when he opened up about his fractured childhood and not -- as clever editing led us to believe -- when he was talking about Bullock.

But, back to that whole cheating thing. Mabrey asked if it was true James had -- as reported -- dalliances with five different women:

"I wouldn't believe everything you read in the tabloids," said the admitted liar. "I was unfaithful to my wife and I wouldn't want to put any account to it. It doesn't matter. It could have been a million."

But is he a sex addict?

"I don't think I have a sex addiction where like, you know, I'm running around trying to have sex with everyone and I can't stop," said James. "I think I do things to sabotage my life, including having extra-marital affairs, texting, overworking myself, injuring myself ... I do a lot of things in my life that aren't conducive to being a perfect husband and the affairs is just one of them."

Let that be a warning to all you texters out there. It's a slippery slope.

Will James have a role in the life of newly-adopted baby Louis Bardo?

"Yes ma'am," answered James to Mabrey's question.

And what about that Nazi picture? Is James, Mabrey asked, a racist?

"I don't have a racist bone in my body," said James. "It was a joke that was funny then probably for a minute, but then looking at it in the context of now, it's not funny."

Finally, James admitted he doesn't harbor any illusions about salvaging his marriage, saying a divorce will happen but that he hopes for some kind of amicable future.

"We're getting divorced," said James. "One hundred percent sure of that."

And: "I still have hopes of saving some sort of relationship with Sandy."

And his goal for the future: "I see amazing happy kids and myself as a decent person."

But the real payoff came after "Nightline" ended, when Jimmy Kimmel spliced the ever-hilarious Guillermo Rodriguez into clips from the interview.

"You made the 'Blind Side' lady sad by doing sex with a Nazi," deadpanned Rodriguez. "That was dumb. You're dumb."

Indeed.

By Liz Kelly  | May 26, 2010; 7:12 AM ET
Categories:  Sandra Bullock/Jesse James, TV  | Tags:  Jesse James, Sandra Bullock  
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Next: Tom Cruise opens up about dad, couch jumping; Sandra Bullock to show up for MTV Movie Awards?

Comments

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted by: jezebel3 | May 26, 2010 8:00 AM | Report abuse

As ever, thanks for your interest, Jezebel3.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | May 26, 2010 8:22 AM | Report abuse

I sorta think he's a jerk & wish he'd go away.

Posted by: Nymous | May 26, 2010 8:53 AM | Report abuse

In a way I gotta agree w/Jezebel.

I didn't watch but I think his whole sob story is kinda lame, much like Jesse is lame.

Shame, cause I used to kinda like the guy.

Posted by: wadejg | May 26, 2010 9:08 AM | Report abuse

I wish Mabrey had asked James why he had previously married a porn star, his ex-wife Janine Lindemulder. And I believe Bullock should have asked herself, "Hmmmmm...do I want to marry a guy who marries porn stars?"

Posted by: jhpurdy | May 26, 2010 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Has our society purchased and completely moved into the house of zero responsibility? Every single one of these rat-bastard cheaters cries about how "it's because of my childhood, my job, my father, my wife was away...etc" but none of them own up to the fact that it was their fault. Every single person has control of their own actions (unless of course one is being held at gunpoint, but I seriously doubt that was the case here)and the ability to stop doing something they know is detrimental. James knew what he was doing was wrong, but chose to continue that behaviour. He has no one to blame for his actions, but himself.

Posted by: Fracas1 | May 26, 2010 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Jimmy Kimmel is getting better all the time.

Posted by: justmike | May 26, 2010 10:29 AM | Report abuse

Scumbag to the highest order who runs around with filthy skanks expects us to care about him. Get lost, loser, and just continue to sleep with the most disgusting looking dredge you can find - it suits you.

Posted by: password11 | May 26, 2010 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Look, I'm not the most innocent person in the world and I've made stupid mistakes of my own, but I really have no sympathy for this guy. I mean, he had the dream girl of the '90's as his wife and instead he chooses a tattooed skank over Sandra.

Fool, just a fool.

Posted by: RealTexan1 | May 26, 2010 3:31 PM | Report abuse

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