Gary Coleman's death certificate released; Coldplay to get 'Glee' treatment

"Robert Pattinson predicts he'll die at 30." Please, let it be 9:30.

"Jennifer Aniston to reveal "aggressive sexuality" in new movie." Y'know, here in Toronto, she's the star of a major print ad campaign (signs, billboards, bus shelters) for - wait for it - bottled water. Which do you think is more Jennifer Aniston-y: agressive sexuality or bottled water?

"New Michael Jackson video game allows fans to relive Jacko's 'most iconic performances'". Does the game come with a fire extinguisher?

For someone who doesn't wanna go, Amy sure spends a lot of time there...

"Did Scarlett Johansson snub hubby Ryan Reynolds at the Tonys?" No, that was one of those 200 Scarlett Galabekian clones.

"Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt accuse each other of cheating." I'm surprised they even knew there were rules.

"The Hangover" is the most-watched On Demand movie ever: this is *exactly* what happened a week before Rome fell.

I'd watch Quentin Tarantino's remake of "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead."

Jenn:

Do I detect desparation? "Aggressive sexuality?" Whom does that sound like?

Wait for it...the movie release interview where Jenn describes her aggressive sexuality and then says it is a remnant of/resulted from/reaction to/blah blah blah her marriage to Brad.

Then Brad can defend Angie and Angie can grab some impoverished kids and THEN we can all listen to this for another 5 years.

Yea!

There goes Perez Hilton, brining the classy as always.

Princes Harry and William should ask fellow Brit Rachel Weisz how to pose with a snake. (I'll let you guys google it on your own, but I'm pretty sure the fellas here already know what I'm talking about).

Coldplay decides it's actually okay to feature their songs on "Glee"...Yeah but did they ask any of us if it was ok?

Perez Hilton may have posted the vadge-flash picture of Miley Cyrus but photo credit goes to Billy Ray.

"Britain's Princes Harry (left) and the as-yet-unengaged William goof with an African rock python in Botswana during their six-day visit to Africa. (Getty Images)" -- And believe me, this photo-op wasn't the princes' idea, but Fergie negotiated a deal with the python for access to her nephews. Next week, Beatrice and Eugenie are hanging out with Bindi Irwin.

"Ryan Seacrest stalker sentenced to two years in prison" -- I'd've gone with two years having to listen to AT40 nonstop.

"Amy Winehouse back in rehab" -- Really? No! No! No!

"Victoria Beckham lends her voice to 'Spongebob Squarepants'" -- She's going to play an eel but insisted the eel be drawn thinner.

"Perez Hilton posts upskirt photo of 17-year-old Miley Cyrus" -- Guess Annie Lebowitz is testing new camera angles now. Yikes.

"New Michael Jackson video game allows fans to relive Jacko's 'most iconic performances'" -- I hope his death isn't one of them. Yikes. And does the world really need the chance to use a joystick to -- ohjeez, I just said joystick. Oh man now I REALLY can't finish this thought.

"'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead' could come to fruition." -- I'm almost as mad about this as I am about the rumored "Soapdish" remake. I love that movie. In fact, just a minute I said to my boss, "I'm right on top of that, Rose!"

Didn't one of the Lizards predict Miley sans culottes some time ago? Or was it really more a matter of when, not if?

Not to JenA: Lisa Kudrow did commercials for a bottled-water brand years ago, so can't you at least find something original to flack?

NOTE, not "not."

Folks, we have found a way to get rid of Perez Hilton. No, not shooting him out of a cannon, as intriguing as that sounds. Call the FBI. Federal law defines a child as "under 18." Yep, that shot is child porn.

Must read slower. I read "Tiger Woods hiding love child ... Amy Winehouse." Just not a happy thought for the morning.

You're right, ep!!! At least Paris and Brit-Brit were of legal age. And isn't sexting still a major kiddie-porn crime in at least some states (although there's a movement afoot to reduce it to no more than misdemeanor status)?

ep, I had the same though about Perez (although in my wording it was, "What, does he *want* to go to Federal Pound-Me-In-The-[Behind]-Prison?"]

(Yo, Peter: watch out for the ol' cornhole.)

byoolin and ep, If only authorities could find grounds to send Billy Ray away too...

Rachel is a bit late to the party; wasn't it Natassja Kinski who made famous posing nude with a snake?

I guess underwear is like birth control in celeb-land ... passe.

Amy Wine-o and her new man have been together all of several weeks and she's trying to save the relatinship?! I predict matching tattoos are next.

Cali, I remember that Kinski photo in "Vogue," too!

Birth control may or may not be passé in celeb-land, but chlamydia, HPV, crabs, gonorrhea, syphyllis, etc., are still going strong.

Ick nast. Especially with the way they all play musical bedfellows with each other ...

I remember Nastassja and the snake also -- and that some male celebrity later parodied that photo and pretty much replicated it, though (fortunately for me) I can't remember who the guy was.

I would like to report a Fabio Cannavaro sighting on the front page of the Washpost...

YIPPY SKIPPY I LOVE THE WORLD CUP!!!!

Leaving now to go back to ogling the front page....

LTL is content...

UGH. I think I just remembered it and it was Christopher Atkins maybe. I thought I'd purged that memory from my mind. (Someone else can confirm via Google.)

LTL,

Thank you...the Italian players were ranked the hottest in World Cup. However, since I work from home & can watch games during the day, I can indeed state that there is some pretty stiff competition out there.

lurker-gals, pretty much ANY soccer player at the World Cup level is at minimum fairly hawt by default, IMHO ;-)))

Oh, I remember that Kinsky photo...wow.

Speaking of snakes, that put me in mind of Salma Hayek's dance with the albino python draped all over her in "From Dusk Till Dawn" and considering her reaction to the snake in that video the other day, I REALLY have to respect her acting chops!

Jennifer Aniston and "aggressive sexuality" is probably a googlenope prior to today. On the other hand, how much acting will it take considering those scenes will be with Colin Freakin' Farrel?

cat, maybe Salma used a robotic snake?

Katie Holmes towers over Daniel Radcliffe at Tony Awards but not over shorter husband, Tom Cruise
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/2010/06/15/2010-06-15_katie_holmes_towers_over_daniel_radcliffe_at_tony_awards_but_not_over_shorter_hu.html

Dang. Just ... dang. Wee Tom sure is insecure. Stands several steps above Katie and wears lifts to make himself appear taller? I mean, does anyone *not* know he's a shrimp? Dude, you're short. Own it.