Friday List: Who shouldn't play Lisbeth Salander in 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'
With Daniel Craig officially cast to play the male lead, Mikael Blomkvist, in the U.S. version of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," speculation continues about who will play opposite him in the role of Lisbeth Salander.
A pierced, bisexual, damaged and dangerous waif with a photographic memory and mad hacker skillz, Salander has become an iconic heroine during the past few years. The Stieg Larsson "Millennium Trilogy" books in which she originated have sold millions of copies. And Noomi Rapace's pitch-perfect portrayal of the character in the Swedish film adaptations have set the bar so high that the next actress is going to have to pole vault to reach it.
Rumors about who might get the part have been encouraging. Carey Mulligan has taken herself out of the running, but Ellen Page and Mia Wasikowska are considered to still be under, er, consideration. Rooney Mara, Emily Browning, Lea Seydoux and a pair of unknown Australian actresses also recently tested for the part.
While director David Fincher seems to be leaning toward less-marquee names, I can't help but feel some measure of concern. While Fincher has made some great films, he was a Gwyneth Paltrow early adopter, giving her one of her first big breaks in "Se7en," and he originally wanted Janeane Garofalo to play Marla Singer in "Fight Club." (And man would that have been a different movie.)
With that in mind, here are five terrible suggestions for the role and how Fincher and studio heads could talk themselves into each:
Megan Fox: "She's smoking hot, she locks up the 16-85-year-old male demographic, she gets tons of press. ... I mean -- hello! -- she's already got tattoos! I bet we can talk her into getting a dragon one or something!"
Kristen Stewart: "She's goth in a safe, Hot Topic kinda way. Kids love those 'Twilight' films, right?"
Zooey Deschanel: "I love her in 'Bones' -- she's got the emotionally detached, Asperger's-y thing down. Wait, what? That's her sister? This is the singing one? Oh, okay -- well, can we get any singing into the movie? Like with 'Glee'? The singing hacker or something?"
Helen Mirren: "This is going to be a classy movie. British people equal classy, am I right? I mean, she's a dame for crying out loud. And who says Lisbeth has to be younger? Maybe she's a cougar. Mirren brings in the 35-plus female audience. Oh, oh, or what about Streep? Is Streep available?"
Zach Galifianakis: "Work with me here people. Yes, yes it takes the film in a different direction. But he's red-hot right now -- he's in everything, he's kind of crazy and scary-looking. Thirteen-year-old boys love him. I say we get his name out there and see what happens."
Now that we've told you who shouldn't play Lisbeth, vote for who among the true contenders should play her:
Post interactivity producer Paul Williams has to remind himself it's not "Lisbeth Salamander" every time he says it.
| July 30, 2010; 10:36 AM ET
Categories: Celebrities, Friday Lists
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