Friday List: The laziest Halloween costumes of all time
Related: Halloween Central
Despite our earlier suggestions, you probably don't want to be the tenth meat-dress-clad Lady Gaga to walk in the room at this year's Halloween fest. But giving up and and relying on any of the 10 tired costume ideas below could be equally frightful.
You'll thank us later when you and your vastly superior costumed friends point and laugh at a never-ending parade of witches, cats and Renaissance fair refugees.
1. A Punk: Since the rise of the Sex Pistols, "the punk" has been a go-to choice, somehow outpacing the disco dancer, Southern rock fan and classical music aficionado. But, please, this year leave the fake mohawks, colored hair spray, faux piercings and studded leather collar in the basement where they belong.
Suggestion: If you want to send a nod to punk's early-'80s heyday, dress as one of "The Young Ones." Ironic and obscure = cool. Or, ditch punk and go as someone from the fab 1986 documentary "Heavy Metal Parking Lot":
2. A ghost: The old white sheet with eye holes may just be the most played out costume of all thanks to a few generations worth of indoctrination by "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." Also, it's a waste of a perfectly good sheet.
Suggestion: There's just no good way to do a good ghost without the aid of CGI, so move on.
3. "Scream" mask: The first "Scream" movie premiered in 1996. Meaning I've had to deal with teenagers in the now-no-longer-horrifying Scream mask knocking on my door for the past 14 Halloweens. It's time for it to retire to the Halloween Costume Hall of Fame.
Suggestion: If you want to pay tribute to a horror flick, pick a newer one, like "Baghead." And, really, all you'll need is a paper bag:
4. Sexy anything: What is it about Halloween that inspires some people (you know who you are) to wear something utterly inappropriate? Read this three times: Most people do not want to see you in a French Maid or Sexy Nurse costume. And if they do, maybe you should consider a career involving a shiny chrome pole.
Suggestion: Remember the golden rule -- It's not a costume, it's just trashy.
5. Witch: A choice so popular that Lucy Van Pelt couldn't resist donning the black pointy hat. But witches of all varieties -- from crones to the sexy variety (see above) -- are utterly played out.
Suggestion: If you want to rock an all-black ensemble, go for a Ninja.
6. Renaissance fair costumes: Repurposing your Ren fair costume for Halloween does not give you another opportunity to pretend you are a corseted medieval wench or knight (complete with chain mail). It merely reinforces what everyone already thought: that you are a dork.
Suggestion: If you really have to trot out the velvet leggings or the peasant dress, get creative. Apply a thin layer of yellow makeup to all visible skin so you can be "Jaundiced King Arthur."
7. A vampire: "Twilight," "True Blood," "Vampire Diaries." We're over bloodsuckers. They're so 2008. And don't even get us started on werewolves.
Suggestion: Zombies are the new vampires.
8. A cat: The black leotard, the ears, the pinned on tail. It's cute on a child, not on an adult. Also a no-no: "CATS"-inspired costumes.
Suggestion: Avoid turning yourself into an animal. Hey, that still leaves vegetable and mineral!
9. Rubber president masks: -- Obama, Bush, Reagan, Kennedy, Nixon... the only appropriate use for these surprisingly freakish masks is if you plan to dress as Patrick Swayze and his gang of surfing bank robbers in "Point Break":
10. Lame-o infant costumes: We know. Your little bundle of joy (and mine) is cute in pretty much anything. Go ahead and dress up your infant if you must, but avoid the cliches: bees, pumpkins.
Suggestion: Get creative. Draw beards and mustache on your wee one(s) or pop him/her in a pair of red suspenders and a red woolen hat and have them go as Cheech and/or Chong.
| October 29, 2010; 12:38 PM ET
Categories: Friday Lists
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