Kanye West debuts 'Runaway' movie: We watch and recap
Kanye West debuted his high-concept movie -- he directed and stars in it -- on Saturday on MTV. It was written by Hype Williams and stars supermodel Selita Ebanks as a phoenix/supermodel. You can either watch the slightly NSFW 34 minute "film," below, or read my scene-by-scene recap, which begins beneath the player. Both experiences will, I hope, be transformative:
A phoenix lands in a fiery ball in the midst of a luxury car commercial set to a song from Kanye West's upcoming album, in which he rhymes "Kings of Leon" with "Celine Dion."
The phoenix is -- surprise -- a scantily clad supermodel who wakes up on a Louis XIV settee in Kanye's house. In front of her is a large flat-screen TV tuned in to the news. Kanye, remote in hand, says "First thing you learn in this world, baby -- don't pay attention to anything you see on the news." He then adds the phoenix/model to his private petting zoo, which also includes turkeys, sheep and bunny rabbits.
Next, Kanye uses some kind of mixer to play music while the phoenix/model dances provocatively and a small child in red runs across a field brandishing a can releasing a cloud of red smoke. Suddenly, there are fireworks and what appears to be a marching band composed of beefy Scottish men leading a parade float bearing a large papier mache Michael Jackson head. Obviously, Klan-clad spectators look on.
Then it's time for Diddy's white party -- except it's Kanye's and instead of a Hamptons setting, this party takes place in an abandoned warehouse. Kanye arrives with his pheonix/model, who is now wearing a headdress. In the background, he raps "We ain't married but I need some consummation." Sadly, poor phoenix/model can't drink her soup because of her five-inch talons. No wonder she's so skinny. Another guest asks Kanye if he knows his girlfriend is a bird. Kanye replies (with sarcasm, we assume), "No, I never noticed that." In the background, surly white people in flowing robes serve wine to the guests.
Kanye starts playing a piano and a battalion of ballerinas bursts into the room dressed in black tutus. Kanye bursts into song: "Let's have a toast for the douchebags." Yes, really. The phoenix/model looks on, clearly impressed and touched by Kanye's performance, having never seen a human man sing about douchebags and jerkoffs before.
But major faux pas: A turkey is served for the main dinner course and plopped on the table right in front of the phoenix/model, who jumps up, shows off a 20-foot wingspan and starts shrieking -- sending the other dinner guests running for cover. His dinner party now totally ruined, Kanye grasps his head with both hands.
The phoenix/model is returned to the petting zoo, for the time seemingly banished from the house with the Louis XIV settee and flat-screen TV. Clouds move in overhead.
Suddenly, the phoenix/model and Kanye share a quiet conversation on a hilltop:
Phoenix/model: All the statues that we see, where do you think they came from?
Kanye: I think that artists carved them years and years ago.
Phoenix/model: NO! They are phoenix turned to stone.
The back and forth continues with the phoenix/model explaining that if she doesn't burn she can't go back to her world and will turn into a statue. Kanye, using his diamond-encrusted mouth to talk, says he doesn't want her to go back to her world. Cue the heavily autotuned slow jam, stripper dance, implied consummation and the incineration of the phoenix/model. Kanye awakes alone on his roof, left in his loafers with only his petting zoo, Louis XIV settee and flat-screen TV.
That won't do, so he runs through the forest (the same one where the luxury car earlier sped down a foggy road) looking for his phoenix/model. But, look up in the air, Kanye -- it's a bird, it's a plane -- it's your phoenix/model flying through the air wearing a gold Gaga-esque breastplate.
| October 25, 2010; 10:57 AM ET
Categories: Celebrities, Pop Culture, Viral Video
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