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Posted at 11:05 AM ET, 03/ 8/2011

Charlie Sheen: What he could learn from his character in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'

By Jen Chaney

At this stage in the Charlie Sheen saga, there is a strong, strong temptation to note that he has officially turned into his memorably tweaked-out character from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." (For the record, this is not unlike the temptation to note that Randy Quaid has turned into Cousin Eddie from "National Lampoon's Vacation.")

As you can see in the video above (which, warning, features some NSFW language), the similarities are all there. His character -- officially dubbed Boy in Police Station -- is decidedly high on something. He's the kind of guy who often winds up in trouble with the law. He's got an undeniably anti-authority, screw-you streak in him. I even found a certain irony in the fact that Jennifer Grey's Jeanie tells him she goes by two names -- Jean and, for reasons that remain hilariously puzzling, Shauna. Two goddesses for the price of one!

But the similarities end there. Because as it turns out, Charlie Sheen in 2011 could learn a lot from Charlie Sheen, Boy in Police Station in 1986.

1. Boy in Police Station is remarkably self-aware. "Why are you here?" Jeanie asks him. "Drugs," he responds. Ask current day Sheen the same question -- Why are you here, in this insane situation, where you've just been fired from the most overpaid gig on television and are now making weird Web videos instead? -- and the answer should be the same: Drugs. But instead, Sheen attributes it all to the fact that he has tiger blood and everyone else is a troll. Boy in Police Station has much to teach Sheen.

2. When Jeanie suggests that Boy in Police Station should put his thumb in an, um, unmentionable place, Boy refrains from doing so. It's not clear that Sheen would show the same restraint right now.

3. Boy in Police Station is smart enough to give Jeanie some sage advice.
"Your problem is you," he tells her. "You ought to spend a little more time dealing with yourself, and a little less time worrying about what your brother does." Sub out the words "your brother" and insert any of the following -- Chuck Lorre, fellow tweeters, Mark Cuban, your various enablers -- and this also qualifies as incredibly sage advice for the modern-day, melting-down Sheen.

4. Boy in Police Station is wise enough to recommend therapy. Not only that, but he is also genius enough to know that Ferris Bueller can solve all problems. I mean, surely Bueller could clean up what's going on with Sheen now, right? Right? Bueller? Bueller?

By Jen Chaney  | March 8, 2011; 11:05 AM ET
Categories:  Charlie Sheen  
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Next: 'Cars 2': Lightning McQueen meets James Bond


"You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much eyemakeup," is worked into every date night at my house. Ahhh, vintage Sheen.

Posted by: rachelt2 | March 8, 2011 12:51 PM | Report abuse

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